[pucedaisy]

congratulations on losing 40 pounds!! that's awesome- and that's the only "high number" that matters!!

[roundpeg]

(((Spleenqueen))) Sorry for your Mom's reaction BUT great job on the 40 lbs!!!

I appreciate your post because it reaffirmed something for me. I had a sneaking suspicion that I should NOT discuss the actual numbers if discussing my weight loss, not my starting weight or current weight, just stick to pounds lost. I am sure that my Mom would have the same reaction as yours. I am the only large person in my family and I just think the numbers would shock them.

My Mom commented on my loss recently, she was doing great, just the appropriate amount of praise without overdoing it UNTIL she said "even your boobs look better, they didn't look like giant cantalopes under your shirt!"



So close to a compliment that made me feel good, and then she blew it with making me embarrassed that apparently I have had these huge cantalopes swinging from my chest.

Oh well, just gotta let it go. I will stick to my original idea of not telling anyone that I am trying to get a handle on my weight.

Because at the end of the day, it really is about me, myself and I. How I feel and how I see myself. It just stink that receiving a compliment can be such a land mine issue. When someone says you look good and you hear it that you have looked bad for a long time.

Congrats on closing in on your goal!!

[Thighs Be Gone]

round--great idea not to discuss actual numbers..I rarely, rarely tell anyone what the actual number is..to me, it's just opening the door for speculation...nothing to gain from it as far as I am concerned..

LOL--I would be okay with having cantaloupes. It would be a nice change from walnuts.

[JayEll]

Well gosh. Let's not be too hard on Mom here. I understand that the OP was looking for some congratulations at having lost 40 pounds, but Mom didn't know how much the OP weighed to begin with. I will bet that there aren't too many mothers who would be delighted to know their daughter had been over 200 pounds, even if they have now lost weight. So, Mom is dealing with shock. Mothers are not perfect, and they don't give perfect responses. Let her be a human being!

SpleenQueen, if you're lucky Mom will get over that high number quickly. Just believe that she is glad you've lost and keep on going. If she persists in the "I can't believe..." statement, then tell her in a nice way that you think you've heard enough about that and would she kindly stop.

Jay

[Jacquie668]

I don't think it is a "Mother" thing...personally some people are just lacking tact in certain situations. We've all been there, said or did something that wasn't maybe the "best" thing to do. Maybe in the future, don't share your weight loss numbers or totals with her. Maybe share other accomplishments on your journey.

I would say something if she keeps on about it, but in a polite way. I mean show her how you want to be treated.

*HUGS* Congrats on the weight loss!

[Tomato]

Congrats on your weight loss!

[annie175]

I understand completely where you are coming from. I had bariatric surgery Feb 12, 2007, and still have not told my parents and two of my brothers. THey are so critical and negative, I chose not to go there. They just think I have lost weight. haha. and I see them on a weekly basis.

[Shouka]

I'm soo happy for you! 40 lbs is a great accompishment.

I do understand the hurtful mom comments. My mother loses weight with this diet or that and she expects everyone to fawn over her loss and rave about how good she looks ( when in a few months she puts it back on). When I lose weight she passes it of and says well thats nice.

Some people. Don't get discouraged your doing great!!!!

[Fox]

I sometimes get the same reaction but it doesn't really bother me. I've had people in total disbelief saying "you can't be a size 12 and weigh 190 lbs!!"

My mom is only 1 size smaller than me but she's 60 lbs. lighter. It's a medical mystery!

[H8cake]

I may be way out in left field here, but I'm wondering if she's taking responsibility for your weight. I know I feel really bad that I didn't teach my kids better eating habits. My older one has weight problems and I blame myself for it. I try not to say much about it because I don't want to make it worse. I do tell him that I worry about his health, it is my main concern. Having spent 25 years as an obese person, I know all of the emotional damage it does. I wish I could save him from that as well. I'm hoping the changes I have made in our eating habits and exercise will help him. He's still at home so I have hope. I'm sorry your mom hurt you, sometimes mom's can be clueless. You are doing so well and she should be very proud of you!

[joyinSF]

congrats on your weight loss! as for me, my mom is the same. me and my mom are both 5'2" and at one time, when i was 165, she was 140. now im 140 and shes 165 . she tells me that i am huge and that i need to lose weight for the wedding. but when she visits me, she brings cookies and cake and tells me to eat it and that im already thin. i just dont get it.
is it jealousy? wtf? i dont understand.
and she tells me to not work out anymore...
you are doing great! dont let your mom's comments get to you. keep doing what youre doing.

[Bette k]

Congrats on the 40 lbs, good job.

Mothers really know what buttons to push on us. I always figured my mother knew the buttons because she was the one that installed all of them. I love my mother, but know that anything I say to her is going to be turning into being all about my brother. I lose weight and he would lose if his health was better (he's over 350lbs) I'm eating healthy, so is he if you ignore the plate of brownies he's scarfing down before dinner while hiding in the kitchen. I just deal by not saying anything to her about it and if she comments on something I just say thank you. It's been that way my entire life so I deal with it.

[HungryHungryHippo]

If your mom is short, or small-boned, she might just be coming from a different frame of reference. We get fat at pretty low numbers.