I've been married for 27 years (June 26 was my anniversary) and my DH and I don't eat alike. When I met him, I was a vegetarian. Over the years, I cooked to his liking (he's a meat and potatoes guy too), but now that I am overweight (and so is he), he does not have a problem with my eating healthier foods, because honestly, he likes the look of me thinner! He's never complained about my weight, but he does compliment me like crazy when I'm thinner. So now, if I cook something that he doesn't like, he just makes a sandwich or grills a hamburger or orders pizza. In fact, he's gotten into the habit of saying, "Am I on my own tonight," meaning do I need to make my own dinner. And if I say yes, he has no problem with it. But you know, he has quickly adapted to whole grain wheat spaghetti, tuna steaks, more green veggie sides, salads, etc., lol!
It sounds like he is selfish and not very supportive of you.....talk at a time when things are calm or if he won't change little things for you maybe look in to divorce.
WOW!! That is some of the most absurd and ridiculous advice I've ever heard. I'm sorry that you were in a dangerous marriage but we're talking about a man wanting to eat steak here...not a man beating the crap of out his wife. None of us makes the perfect spouse.
I'm going to agree with Lori Bell. Husbands can be difficult to deal with but they are not the reason we don't lose weight. I don't lose because I don't want to do what is necessary. It's not my husbands job, it's MINE. I try to cook things that I believe are healthy but I also cook for my husband. I don't try to make him eat things he doesn't like. I wouldn't like being treated that way and I don't treat him that way either. It can take time...as do many things in marriage. If you work on it slowly he'll come around and see that he DOES like new things that he didn't think he would, such as whole wheat pasta. Just give him room to learn and grow.
Last edited by LandonsBaby; 07-01-2009 at 06:30 PM.
Sounds like he wants to eat what he wants to eat. And you NEED to eat healthier. And you are doing the cooking.
There are a few ways to tackle this:
You can make him big batches of food, and he can reheat as required (i.e. stews, etc.) and you make your own food.
You can cook more WW recipes that you both eat in order to cut your work down, but stick to the one serving. (the problem with you eating 2 servings is really your issue, not a result of HIM...)
You can cook your own food, and he can cook for himself...
Other than that, he's going to do what he likes. You can have him try foods, but you can't change what he's going to do. The key is to find a solution that works for YOU...
Kira
ps. There may be more to this than the food -- the food may be a symptom of something else: is he insecure if you lose weight? is he not supportive of a separate identity for you? Just asking...
DH and I have been married for 4 years, together for 6, friends for 22. We have seen eachother at our highest and lowest points. In every other aspect of our lives he is super supportive. I could not ask for a better husband. It's just this one little slice of our life that he has a problem with.
The doctor told him last year he needed to lose weight (he topped out at 286). Dr. said work on it and come back in a few months. DH solution was to switch to lite beer. Cute, but it didn't work. He gainned 5 pounds and the dr. was not amused. So he took on the diet industry and try slim shots, slim fast, and tons of diet snacky crap. Of course none of this worked. (Side note, he's a truck driver and not big on exercise, phyical activites yes, working out no).
Dr. then puts him on an appetite supressant. This works pretty well, he lost 22 pounds in 3 months and people could tell that he was starting to lose the weight. So he got us memberships to Anytime fitness. I was preggo at the time but still went doing cardio and light weights. He went 3 times and gave the membership to his ex-wife(by the way I'm fine with that, me and her are friends now). Now he doesn't even take the meds.
Personally, I think that his issues stem from his parents. His mom has been in the nursing home since she was 58 and his dad suffered a stroke in his early 60s.
I think that he will come around. It's just soooo frusterating. I understand that I'm in control of me and his taking seconds and thirds should not affect what I'm putting in my mouth. Monkey see, monkey do. I'm working on that. I've got some will power issues to say the least.
I'm working on being a stronger woman. That with the weight loss should make me a very attractive woman.
Shouka... I was wondering...could your DH's behavior be because of the doctor and his birthday..meaning age? Maybe he is going through something and feeling things and just is overreacting when it comes down to the meals. Maybe he is fearful of change?
I think personally that there is usually something there, other than the "issue" that is the real cause. Like the core of it...maybe it would be a nice thing to talk about it with him. I don't think he is meaning to be selfish and non-supportive.
I have a boyfriend who is very picky about food. I remember the first meal I cooked for him he said and I quote "this isn't like what my Mom makes." So I said "Then don't eat it." Well he ate it and loved it, but I'll never forget those words. And his Mother cannot cook...woosh! lol
