It just hit me that everyone is losing weight and I am here. I know I am not actually following a diet, nor weighting myself because I dont freaking own a scale and barely have time to go to a pharmacy and weight myself. It is just that after I went thru few before-after pics... it hit me that I am so behind!

I know I am losing weight, but I am just not totally honest and committed to it! If I were more serious about it, I would have been losing weight, just like said.

I should have lost more weight by now, I just feel bad.

How long have you been looking to lose weight? If I go by your profile and ticker, you joined 3FC in May and now you've lost 4.4 pounds--is that correct? If so, you're not behind at all.

Are you tracking what you eat in some way?

Jay

Tracking? no
Dieting since joining 3FC? No

I have been eating healthier for a while now, and I think since I havent stick to what I SHOULD, I am not losing what I should, if this makes sense.

I should just get to be more committed and loyal to losing weight. and I think I should do what you just have asked me! I need to track what I eat. Why havent I done it? I always say I will, but just forget!

I always think of it like having a financial plan. Imagine if you didn't know how much money you made, didn't know what you were spending, weren't sure what bills you had to pay and and they were due - but you wanted to be more financially secure. Well, you'd have to make some changes to move in that direction.

Same with weight loss. You have to know how much you weigh, how many calories you can bring in without getting into calorie debt due to low output.

Sounds like you are in the pre-contemplation or contemplation phase of change. Google those words if the link below doesn't show up, I'm not sure if I can post links yet.
www .addictionalternatives. com/philosophy/stagemodel.htm

So, Suzan... I think you actually answered your own question or statement... Of course you are far behind if you aren't doing anything what you think you should be doing. If you were in a race, and the start gun went off and everyone took off but you, you would be eventually pretty far behind right?

What's stopping you? You know what you "should" do, why not just do it? Do it for one day. Then do it the next day. And the next. Until it's a week, two weeks, a month... Just start Suzan, at least then you'll be IN the race and not standing around watching others run far away from you.

Well yes, this makes perfect sense. Right there in that sentence clears up the "reason" as to why you are lagging behind.

I like that analogy. Yes. Yes! "You gotta be in it to win it." "Losing weight is not a spectator sport". It won't fall off miraculously. Yup, we've got to actively par take. No sitting on the sidelines.

So yes indeed-y. DECIDE this is what you want to do and map out a way to get it done. TAKE some action. MAKE a plan. You can do this. You absolutely without a doubt can do this!

I very seldom say this at 3FC but ... Suzan ... you are just plain wrong.

There are people here who have not lost anything, some who've lost a little, some who've lost a lot and some who've gained. And, PTL, there's lots of each.

There is no "shoulda by now". The only thing your history is good for is retrospective learning. Today can be entirely different than any day in your past because of all the things you've learned. Today, tomorrow ....

Just make today somewhat better than yesterday.

I don't compare myself to what others are doing. What I'm doing works for me, and as long as I'm happy with my own loss, it doesn't matter if it takes me longer than someone else.

I tend to lose weight slowly, always have. It took me 2 years to lose 100lbs the last time, and I kept it off for years. I gained it back over a year, after a major surgery that left me immobilized for a year. I know that once I lose it again, I'll have no issues maintaining because of my eating and exercise habits. So if it takes me a year or two to get back to where I want to be, I'm very much ok with that.

I defiently should have lost more,and am behind. But it is my own fault!It is time for me to

You're by no means behind. Most people who are overweight NEVER lose anything. Just being here puts you ahead of the curve.

But I know what you mean. I stalled out for the entire month of May, and boy was it frustrating. I'm losing towards a festival in September, when I want to wear a costume, and not seeing any progress while the clock ticked down was driving me batty. But that's the wrong way to think about it. The important thing is that you've lost, not how much or how fast. Celebrate every pound!

"Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long, but in the end, it's only with yourself." - Everyone's Free to Wear Sunscreen

Stop comparing yourself to others!

I'm taking this WL slow this time. All the times in the past I'd lose it quicklyish, and then just burn out and stop all together, and then gain it all back.

Its taken me almost 3 years to just lose over 50 lbs. Yes its going slowly, and yes it would go more quickly if I was more hard core, and never cheated and worked out more - but I know me. And if I do that, I get burned out and quit. And I dont want to quit this time, and I also dont want to be on a diet the rest of my life.

But thats just me. Do what works for you, and dont worry about others!!

I was complaining to my doctor a while back that I wasn't nearly where I wanted to be - that I was losing "too slowly."

He reminded me that just being in the race, put me at the head of the pack, not at the trailing end. Most folks are stuck at the starting block (or don't even get that far).

I am losing slower than I ever would have accepted in the past. In the past, I would have gotten discouraged at the slow rate of loss and decided that it was hopeless anyway.... I would have lossed, regained, and lost and regained again several times by now.

You can beat yourself up for being "behind," if you want to, but in my experience those feelings lead to defeat not success. If you look at only the step in front of you, and not where everyone else seems to be in relation to you, you have a better chance of getting to your own finish line.

I find that I can't compare myself to others - and I can't even compare myself to younger versions of myself. I am who I am, and I've done what I've done. I can only choose to change the present.

As a psych student, I learned that rewards works better than punishment, whether you're dealing with rats or human beings, so I try to remember that when I deal with myself. Focusing on my successes, no matter how small, tends to stoke my enthusiasm for making more. When I focus on my failures, I feel helpless and hopeless and start thinking "what's the use."

It's not always an easy mental shift, but I think it's important. Worry about what you haven't accomplished in your life, will only prevent you from accomplishing more.

All these chicks are right--comparing yourself to others makes success a lot more difficult. Now I am NOT saying that you shouldn't use the success of others as inspiration--that is helpful, or at least it is to me. Reading the Goals and Mini-Goals sections has been immensely helpful in shoring me up when my committment level was low or when I felt like I wasn't getting anywhere.

But I got in trouble a few months ago with envy. I was looking at the success of people like cfmama, who is losing at a fast and steady rate and I was jealous. But then I really stopped and thought about it and admitted that she is WAY more dedicated and faithful to her healthy eating plan than I am. So of course she will lose faster! I even thought (briefly, LOL) about buckling down and being a lot more strict with myself. I chose not to do that, because I know from the past that approach doesn't work well for me. It works great for cfmama and many others, but for me, I need a lot of flexibility and forgiveness in my plan. So I chose to accept that and accept the slower rate of loss that comes with it.

The other thing I had to stop doing was placing time limits on my goals. That almost knocked me out of the game before I got started. I joined a St. Patrick's Day challenge and immediately fell behind. People were posting losses of 3-4 pounds a week when I could barely eke out 1 pound if I was lucky. I dropped out because I could see that I would feel like a failure if I didn't lose "X" pounds by a certain date. So now my goal is 65-70 pounds. No end date. I'm on track right now for it to be a little over a year; that year is going to go by whether or not I lose all the weight. If I only lose 50, will I be a failure? No! I'll still be a success; I'll be 50 pounds lighter!

So don't be hard on yourself. Don't compare yourself. Are there things you can learn from others that will help you? Absolutely. But we are all different, with different bodies, different metabolisms, different lives, different everything. So just do the best YOU can do while still moving forward. You can do this!

One thing I would suggest is making a pro and con list for weight loss. That might help you move into more consistent action.
Good luck. Let us know how it goes!

I think for *some* people the need to get the weight off quickly really depends on where they start. I know that for me, I was so morbidly obese and so uncomfortable and feeling near death that I had to take action quickly to save my life. I could barely breath, walk, or sleep. I sweat in the middle of a Nebraska winter and would chafe and rub burns in my skin in the heat of the summer. One morning I woke up and realized that I couldn't take it a minute longer. I really feel I hit ROCK BOTTOM. I was not motivated to lose until I hit ROCK BOTTOM. I think some peoples rock bottoms take longer to find. Maybe if you are not ready to work at it and take the excess weight off, you just haven't gotten to the point of true misery yet. I hope you don't have to get to the point I did to find it...I really sucked.