*Sigh* I know all too well what you are talking about. It's not even relevant what you weigh, you still feel this crushing sense of self loathing and not being good enough. It's something I have struggled with for a very long time (still do!) and it's true that there are probably hundreds of girls who look at YOU and say "god I wish I was that size/pretty" so there is no rhyme or reason to it, it's nonsense- you need to figure out how to stop those tapes (that's what I call them) that constantly run in your mind: I have ugly knees, she is skinnier, I am fat blah blah. When those thoughts enter your mind just tell them to shut up! Or whatever works for you.

Also this sounds silly but I read this technique in an article once and it feels weird but is actually effective: look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself over and over again "I love you just the way you are", even if you don't believe it, just say it.

I also don't know how old you are...I am 23 and I think a lot of it will ease with age as we gain confidence and wisdom to know that external beauty is so incredibly fragile and temporary, there are so many more important traits a person can have. I hope this helps, love yourself woman!!

Wow guys thanks so much for sharing. I'm sure all women have their down days. Silly women cycles!! And yes I have horses I used to train and ride all the time .. then I moved into an apt. for college and work. I miss that so much. I love how we can support each other on days like this. I've seen so many people who weren’t born with legs or arm. I stop and quietly say a prayer to myself thanking God that I’m healthy, then I'll turn right around and do this. America is so based on what size your body is instead of the size of your heart. I won't even watch tv or listen to the radio anymore because I'm so tired of hearing all the crap. Rose you are right about the oversized portions. My boyfriend and I always share when we go out plus its cheaper. They put so many chemicals and crap in our food these days it makes me sick. I do notice how much better I feel when I eat healthy. When I was younger I used to always get sick after I ate. I thought something was wrong with me ... but it was just my mom’s home cooking loaded with carbs ... it was good though My body was crying out trying to tell me to stop eating this crap!!

Who the heck cares what America is based on? Anyone that's worth your time, your energy, your friendship and your love - is MUCH more interested in YOUR heart then your body. And that's all that matters.

I hope tomorrow and the days after are better ones for you.

Thankyou Robin. Oh and I like your quote about excuses. SOOOO true!! And congratts on your 160 lbs. That is amazing. Really!!

If that's you in your avatar, you look pretty to me. It might be an age thing, teens and twenties we all want to be the pretty one.

Some girls in our age group are lucky enough to eat the junk food and stay thin; but for the most part, it doesn't last for long. Age catches up with us all and eventually almost everyone has to eat right to keep the weight down, we just have to learn to do it sooner.

I'll be 23 in a couple of monthes. My mom is 46 and she still worries about her weight .. then again she was thin when she was married. The smallest size I remeber being was a size 7, but when I was a 7 all the other girls were like 0's, now I wish I was a 7

I feel that way a lot too. I just want to be "normal," like my friends who don't even think about it. I'm *trying* to get rid of that mindset. What's normal for others isn't what's normal for me. I'm my own unique person. What's normal for me may be counting every calorie that goes in my mouth until the day I die. And yup, that's a LOT more work and effort (and if I think about it too much I get really overwhelmed), but you know what? I'm worth it, and my health is definitely worth it!

PS - I'll be 23 in a couple of months too! September for me!

Tomato is SOOOO right. The fixation on looks definitely decreases with age. I am in no way saying I go out looking like a slob, lol. I still spend 30 minutes on hair and makeup and I always make sure my clothes are appropriate for wherever I may be going. As opposed to the couple of hours I would dedicate (obsess) when I was in my 20's.

Counting calories is starting to become much easier (by memorization) than when I first started. I am one of those people who eat a lot of the same things from day to day (not because I HAVE to because I am on a "diet"). I have always been that way, even when I was thin. If I like something, I tend to eat it over and over and over again. Like Subway sandwiches. You don't have to eat like a rabbit to lose weight. On the contrary, doing it that way is a guaranteed way to slow down your metabolism and prevent weight loss. Took me a loooong time to figure that one out.

Now, as for the junk food and fast food; can't comment much on that except you are paying THEM to send you to an early grave. It is not good for you, and once you cut it out of your diet for just ONE month, you will realize how disgusting it is and you will not crave it as much, hopefully not at all. I almost passed out when someone here commented on my favorite meal at Olive Garden. Over 6,000 milligrams of sodium! There are some things you can find that are equivalent to the foods you like but healthier. They make 100 calorie snacks. And this may sound blunt, but you gotta learn when to stop or just not eat them at all. Weight loss wouldn't happen for anyone without SOME degree of self discipline.

Bossmare, those "perfect" girls see their perceived imperfections just as much as you see yours. It's your age that makes you believe you must be perfect. When you actually stop being as perfect as you nearly are now, then you will stop striving for perfection and you'll accept yourself, knees and all. Wouldn't it be nice if you didn't wait? Wouldn't it be nice if you could just understand that it's all about confidence, and young women your age are rarely confident about their bodies, no matter what they look like! It's a youth mindset! If you could figure that out, then you could enjoy your near perfection while you're still young! Ever wonder what attracts great-looking guys to cougars? I mean, the cougars don't have flawless skin or rock-hard bodies, and yet SO many guys fantasize about being with an older woman. The reason is their confidence. An older woman accepts herself more, and it shows, and it's sexy! Be confident and sexy on that honeymoon, girl, beyond your guy's wildest dreams!! Your man obviously loves you just as you are, so embrace that, and rock that 5'7" "normal weight" body that you have!! Lose weight for health, not perfection, and enjoy your nearly perfect body, now!

I've felt this way before too. But as others have said, everyone has something about themselves that they don't like. My 13 yr old daughter is 5'7 and weighs around 110. She's tiny and looks model-like. She hates her arms and wears long sleeve shirts and hoodies a lot to cover them. Why? to her they're too skinny.

Yes. That's exactly it.

If I need to count calories in order to be healthy, fit and trim - so be it. The time and effort is more then worth while. I spent too much time being miserable when I was overweight. Now that WAS a waste of time. At least the time spent counting (estimating really at this point) provides me with good health - both physical and mental. That really IS time well spent, if you ask me.

Besides, I don't care to be "normal". Has anyone noticed "normal" lately? More then 2/3 of the US is obese.

Sorry, but I disagree. Weight loss IS possible without calorie counting.

Bossmare ... I wonder if you've come across any posts by Glory87? I think you might find her mindset and food choices very appealling.

Tomato, I was just using the OP's choice of words (methods) which WAS calorie counting.

Although I am a calorie counter, I have never stated any where, any time, any place that losing weight is possible ONLY with calorie counting. And most certainly not in this thread. I'm not sure where you picked that up from.

Aw, this is such a tough issue. I'm right around your age, too, and some days I get so down on myself that I can't look in the mirror or I'll throw something at it.

I find myself feeling incredibly jealous of women who seem to have no issue at all with overeating, and eat whatever the heck they want without gaining a pound. In my crazy little mind, everyone else aside from me is slim, beautiful and gorgeous, and they do it without ever counting a calorie.

I think, on good days, when I look at the situation in perspective, is that everyone has their own battles. All of those gorgeous thin women that I envy the **** out of, I'm positive they have their own hard-to-manage issues. And weight has always been mine. And I'm okay with that. I can fight, and so can you, and so will all the other women who have to.

Hang in there, and remember that people never see you the way you see yourself!