well this was a bad day to feel good about myself! - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

matchboxprincess · 06-11-2002, 12:30 AM

I was on the way home in the absolute pouring rain, (commuting) and then this guy, who mind you was no prize package himself, looks at me and says, you know if you would lose weight you would be so pretty, after the stun and the sting, I looked at him again and then he said you should lose weight so you can feel better, health wise and about yourself.

Now I am on a diet (albeit not religously) but am working at it, but a jerk like this has ruined my whole outlook, suddenly I feel worse than I have in months. I wanted to say so much to him, like I am on a diet or wow am I ugly now, or who are you to say how I feel about myself or well who are you to say anything at all to me, but I did not due to the fact that there was a pretty large crowd around me and some snickered and others even laughed, some you could see felt bad for me, but in all I said nothing I walked away, soaking wet, crying my eyes out. i know better than to let this kinda of thing bug me but...

Well I had to say it even if it was not to that guy but to all of you, thanks for being an ear.

If anything I am more motivated to one day see this guy and have lost all the weight and tell him to get plastic surgery so he too can one day be pretty and fell better about himself.

Christine

Amarantha2 · 06-11-2002, 02:23 AM

Matchboxprincess: Sorry you had to meet up with one of "those" kind of people today (the kind whose self-esteem hinges on making others feel bad about themselves). Please forget him, as his comments reflect more on him than on you ... he must be suffering in some way and is just trying to express it through being insensitive to a total stranger. At the very least he's suffering from rudeness and stupidity and nosiness (as in didn't his mom ever tell him if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything).

I think it's good you didn't respond, as why give him the satisfaction? The world's so full of jerks, it's no use giving them space in your head. I hope you continue your journey unencumbered by this guy's opinion and if you lose weight, you do it because you want to, not because of anything this idiot said (as he won't see it, know it or honestly care, he's too self-involved).

Feel better. The guy's opinion really doesn't matter.

thinthinker · 06-11-2002, 08:07 AM

Oh, Christine. Why oh why don't mothers everywhere teach their kids 'if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all'?

We've all run into the jerks of the world. And as hard as it is to let it roll off, that's exactly what we have to do. I have worked over in my mind again and again what I will say to the next 'jerk' I encounter, but it never fails that when it happens I remain shocked and speachless that anyone can be that mean.

Keep your chin up and like Crone said, you have to lose the weight to be healthy for YOURSELF, not for him or anyone else.

I wish you much success on your journey.

Sunn · 06-11-2002, 12:01 PM

That really sucks.

It happened to me once, only with me, it was my high school gym teacher. She was an old bat, not thin herself by any means, and a rude, awful mean *****. She came into my workplace, saw me, and came over and told me that it looked as though I had gained some weight, and that I needed to start doing some excersize before I get any fatter. I just stood there in shock, and then made some sort of excuse for myself. Later, I was so pissed off at myself because after all, I had graduated, and it wasn't like I *had* to be nice to this person any longer. I should not have stood there and let her belittle me.

I always hate that after something like that happens, I can think of a million come backs, but in the heat of the moment, all I can do is stand there in shock.

Don't let it get to you. Crone is right, his comments reflect more on him than on you, and he is probably worse off than you in life. Shrug it off, think of 10 things you love about yourself, and then do something that makes you feel good.

Jehari · 06-11-2002, 04:27 PM

I read this once on a bumper sticker:

I may be fat, but you're ugly.....I can lose weight.

Thought it was a great come back and have used it more than once.

Jehari

matchboxprincess · 06-11-2002, 08:16 PM

I was not even sure if I had posted in the right place, but I am glad I got it off my chest, i am losing for me and not for him, but it was stirring inside me and I had to let it out.

Thanks so much for being so supportive, you all have made my dieting so much easier with tips, ideas and support.

I also agree, he was taking out some sad insecurity he has but at the time and through out the evening that that really was not the thought.

Today, I feel better, stronger and WAY ABOVE that creep! I am so glad I did not binge in the bad feelings I had, i stayed strong, had this place to vent and made it through!

I hope I can be helpful to any of you when you have one of those days!

Thanks so much again!

Christine

Amarantha2 · 06-11-2002, 11:31 PM

"Today, I feel better, stronger and WAY ABOVE that creep! I am so glad I did not binge in the bad feelings I had, i stayed strong, had this place to vent and made it through!"

Good for you, Matchboxprincess! You have totally risen above this thing. I have to confess, I would have binged, so hat's off to you.

Sunn: I'm going to steal your idea (with credit, of course!!) and post a thread for everyone to list 10 things they love about themselves! It seems to me that without healthy self-esteem, nothing else is possible. How can we love others if we can't love ourselves. Anyhow it'd be fun to have such a thread and I'm having a heavy internet day, so I just think I'll do it.