Bad compliments: My mom is always trying to "help" her mother used to outright call her fat all the time, and i know she means well but, there is this show called "big bang theory" that my parents love. and there is this really pretty girl in it, and she says " if you lost like 40 pounds you would look just like her!" then my stepdad counters with "yeah i think she looks just like her!" trying to remove the sting. My mom is always saying stuff like that though. since im 5'11 shes always liek " you should get down to like 120 and you can be a model!" im like.. psh, im never gona be no 120...
good compliments: everyone at my job as been VERY supportive of my weight loss, it almost gives me that extra motivation to NOT eat there because everyone knows im dieting. this girl i work with, everytime i go in she says to me" youre looking so thin!!!" and theres this girl there whos nick name is "skinny minny" because she is a tooth pick. probably 95 pounds, and eats everything under teh sun. well recently everyone calls ME skinny minny. (obviously im not a tooth pick, but its nice to be encouraged)
Oh I've gotten some doozies. Two that stand out, both negative:
"Where's the rest of you??" from a jealous relative, last time I was under 200 lbs.
"I should have married you when I had the chance!" from a man I dated off and on through college who I saw at a friend's party, again the last time I was under 200 lbs.
These poor males. They try, even when they don't know how.
Once, when I worked as a news reporter, I went on an assignment with a photographer who I'd developed a major crush on. I was thrilled that we were going off alone together on a nice day.
I was sitting in his car with my notebook ready, waiting for him to climb in. After he did, he leaned on the steering wheel, paused for a significant moment, looked at me & suddenly said: "You know, you've got eyes like a dog."
I must have looked nonplussed, because he then elaborated:
"You know, like a malamute or a husky. One of those blue-eyed dogs."
After a few weeks, this became a joke between us, so he did eventually catch on & understood that comparing any part of a woman to a dog probably wasn't going to be taken in good grace.
[Nothing romantic ever happened between us. He already had a girlfriend, another reporter he'd carried on with, while still married. All the time I knew him, he always had at least one girlfriend but more often, two. I saw what trouble he was & made one of my sanest decisions ever, which was to STAY AWAY & just be friends.]
My little sister is a great one for coming out with things, usually of the horrible variety, I wonder when it will stop...when I was younger she used to call me "horse thighs" and last week she saw me after losing 60lbs and said I have a "pea head" that didn't look in proportion.
A double edged compliment from my professor who I am very close to and consider her family was, "you look so good now you have lost weight, keep going, I can see you face now because it's very delicate and before it was covered"...ohh well...
ok there was one older lady (in her 70s i believe) who i met once at my bridal shower. It was 5 years ago. Last month i saw her at walmart and she asked if it as me, and i said yes...then she said " I thought it was you! you are alot heavyer now than you were when i saw you!" I was like "i have 2 kids under age 3 now, maybe thats why"... that was very upsetting comment. From then on i got membership to the gym and lost 11 lbs so far
Last edited by unwanted37lbs; 04-16-2009 at 02:03 PM.
I had someone ask me when I was at my highest weight...ARE YOU PREGNANT?!? a few times that happened to me because I carry all my weight in my stomach. ugh
"Oh my god, what, did you lose like 50 pounds or something?!?"
I had lost about 22
OMG I Could''ve whipped the b*tch's a** when that happened to me. FOr me it did you lose almost 100 lbs. 215 is my highest weigh I had lost about 30 when this was asked. Effin B***** sorry guys
angiemo - that's sorta both very hurtful and really sweet at the same time.
i once got the "are you pregnant?" question in an elevator. i said no. and then we proceeded to ride in silence as the elevator slowly crawled northward. awkward.
some friends whom i haven't seen in a few months have now been commenting how i look like i've lost a ton of weight, which i know is a compliment but i still hate because it draws attention to that which i'd rather forget. i mean, i knew i was fat, but i somehow hadn't realized just how bad i'd gotten but apparently i was the only one suffering from that delusion.
well..my first one came from a very sweet coworker who pulled me to the side and politely asked "are you expecting??"..no...so from then on i would ask her each day-do i look pregnant today?? haha..
the 2nd came from my five yr old sister (the one you see in my avatar)-i asked her the other day "aliyah, do you think im fat?" ((per a previous convo between me and my OTHER sister))...she said
"NO!! but you do have a very big belly..."...it was just so cute but yeah..
I don't know why it bothers me--it seems silly really---but when I was down about 40 pounds down a woman I have had conflict with in the past came up to me and said, "You look great--I am so proud of you.." when she said this it sounded very patronizing to me..like there was another motive behind it or something....or the whole, "I am so proud of you" thing---it sort of implies a superior/subordinate relationship or something.
A dear old lady once told me a few years ago how I should keep wearing black as it was so slimming.
I was around 190 at the time and had lost 50lbs to get there, and she'd seen me every week....
Some years later, I was probably around the same weight again and another old lady, whom I only saw 2 or 3 times a year laughed when she saw me, because she said it looked so strange to see me fat. I'd been 136 when I'd first met her.
Wish I'd held onto that blinding ping moment - she'd met me at a normal weight and it had never occurred to her that I had been or could be fat. I had felt like a fat person who had temporarily got slim. This time I will be a slim person who has temporarily been fat. OK 53 years is a long temporary.
My mom told me once my dresses would look better if I just wore some kind of girdle under it. Even my sister was flabbergasted by it
She also asked me once, with people around (family, but still), what size I wore these days. I said Mom! She said, well, she just wanted to know if some of her pants would fit me - in the hurt/martyr tone moms can do so well. Again, my sister said you can't ask that!
Ah well, I DO love my mom. She is mostly VERY supportive, just doesn't have the same filters all the time.
