i feel so ugly at times. and i'm not posting this to get replies of how i am not ugly. i just can't help it. i look in the mirror and i see how i use to look inside of a fat girl. and unlike bigger women where you can still be sexy and plus sized. i am not one of the girls. being fat looks terrible on me. i'm hanging in there but i get so depressed about it. i use to spend alot of time on myself with makeup, hair, and clothes. and now i just try to not bring attention to myself. i'm a plain jane. man i'm really depressed right now just thinking about it!

I think I know exactly how you feel.

Positive affirmations - saying positive, supportive things to yourself - sounds really stupid and lame but it does work to improve your self esteem.

I have to work, every day, on trying to raise my self esteem because it is almost nonexistent for several reasons, including my weight.

Some simple positive affirmations would be, stand in the mirror, look yourself in the eye, and say:

Barbie, you are beautiful and I love you very much.
Barbie, you are a special person and you deserve to have a wonderful, happy life.
Barbie, you deserve every good thing in life.
Barbie, you can do it, you are beautiful and you are growing more beautiful every day.

Etc. You can google 'positive affirmation' if you need more ideas. And yes, it does feel stupid when you first do it but if you do it consistently it does help. Really.

well let me tell you I think a lot of us have those feelings! and becuase I dont know what you look like I cant really say if your ugly or not, but I do know that beauty is not just about whats on the outside. I hate when people say I am not fat like I cant see my self kwim? Anyways I feel like when I take time on my self I feel better about myself. I try to get my hair and nails done and do my make up daily because that makes me feel better and thats all I can do right now because I do hate how I look fat (except to lose it). I havent always been this way and its been hard on me so I do understand. Just stay strong and remember that weight can be there for only a short time if you want it to be!!! Good luck to you hun and feel free email me if you ever want to talk!

I know exactly what you mean. I see women bigger than me and they are so beautiful and wonderful. I wonder if there is something wrong with me in that I can't rock it like they can.

I feel the same way much of the time, Barbie. It's just hard to look in the mirror and see myself as beautiful. I blame it on the weight, but, for me, I've never really felt beautiful.

To echo Brook, it helped me a lot to buy new makeup (I chose a whole new brand and method), get a haircut, and dye my hair the color I've always envied on others. Not so cost effective, but a boost nonetheless.

For me, it takes playing a game with my thoughts and fighting the negative ones. When I think "I'm not good enough", I order my brain to "STOP" and think of something completely different, distract myself with a task or change the thought: " "That was an absolutely ridiculous thing to think." or "What proof do I have that I'm not good enough?"

If psycho-nonsense is too much, just click/clack on through. Ups and downs are part of life.

Everyone feels that way from time to time. *Hugs*

and this is how i SECRETLY feel. people that know me think i'm so conceited. but i just put on a show because i'm embarrassed. the image i have of myself is very low. i even put on a show for my husband. i'll play around and say things like "look how sexy your wife is WOO" you wouldn't realize how i really felt. thanks for replying guys! its making me feel better talking about it.

Yea Barbie. I know all about putting on a show too. I've heard the phrase -- "Insecure?? But you seem so confident!" a few times over the past while.
(It makes me wonder how much I border on obnoxious.)

I know how you feel- sometimes I want to ask my husband okay WHAT is so attractive about my fat dumpy butt and big stomach?!

I know for me it's about not putting myself down anymore and making myself dress nice everyday regardless- if I feel good about how I look that day generally I feel better about myself overall

Barbie, I can really relate, only I'm not so good with the faking it part. I've never felt beautiful, I feel like I am also a plain Jane, someone who is invisible. I think all women struggle with this at some point. I'm not sure what to say to make you feel better, other than hang in there!

Oh my gosh Barbie, you are totally singing my song.

I too, used to feel way more confident when I weighed less, did my hair and makeup and all that. And I too, have felt so ugly a times throughout the last few years. I eventually stopped doing much with my hair because I was always so tired in the morning no matter how much sleep I got. Last year, I even went an entire month without wearing makeup to work.

But recently, maybe in the last few months, I have begun to completely detest my appearance. To the point where I would get so depressed about it and stay awake at night forming a plan of how to change this stupid mess of myself. And so here I am.

And ya know what? Last weekend I was making dinner and I had my loungy clothes on just staying in and being cozy in the cold NY winter, and all of a sudden, mid-dinner, I felt the absolute need to be wearing 'real clothes'. So I went and changed and put my hair up a little nicer and put on one of my new necklaces. I felt so much better. And I think the reason I had that sudden need to do that is because I felt a bit prouder of myself. My fiance thought it was funny but it was just something I had to do. And also, it was the first time in over a year that I have been home and not in loungy clothes!

The end, LOL

The best thing for me that helped my weight loss begin was accepting myself as I am. For a small bit in time, I was super happy with everything about myself. That acceptingness of myself helped me move on and realize I needed to do this. Once the pounds came off, people would comment on how confident I was all of the sudden. Now, that I've regained some of the pounds, my confidence has drooped but I know I can do this! I also never felt beautiful but I thought I looked a lot better than some of the girls in my high school who were sloppy dressers.

I think I also felt great because I started to have good clothes. I would wear a nice blouse for an extreme casual job because I wanted to and felt good. Maybe wearing a nice shirt or a nice necklace will help. Having a defined style of hair helps great!

I feel the same exact way! I guess a lot of it has to do with self esteem and confidence. I think feeling good on the inside reflects on the outside.

To the OP, we all have good days and bad days. Try to take each day in stride and don't be too hard on yourself. When I am feeling down doing things like exercising, taking a bubble bath, getting a hair cut, etc help me feel a bit better. Just know there are brighter days ahead. Changing your outlook takes time and constant effort. I am not there by any means but I am trying. Another things that helps me sometimes is to try and make a list each day of things that I am grateful for.

Totally feel you.

I'm so depressed about my now non existent weight loss that I've eaten nothing but bad bad bad junk all week.

*hugs*

I kind of know how you feel, but kind of not. I too act a lot more confident about myself and my body than I actually am. I was actually a very promiscuous teen because of the insecurities I had about myself. I learned how to appreciate my body though, not too sure how though.

Personally though, I know when I do my hair and makeup and take care of myself, it really helps me feel better about myself. I don't know about you, but maybe you should get yourself a new haircut, and wear the makeup, and do all the things you used to do. I personally don't think that those things would bring more attention to you. I've never noticed or not noticed somebody just because they're wearing makeup. You obviously LIKE or LIKED wearing the makeup and whatnot, because you used to do it. Maybe if you started that up again it might help?

I don't know you too well, so I'm basically just going with what I know would make ME happier:P

All the best to you, I look forward to seeing your success. Losing weight isn't going to make all your insecurities go away though. You have to really work on the mental thing along with the body thing.