[kaplods]

I've "failed" my weight to a 60 lb loss. I've done so making nearly as many bad choices as good. I'm having a VERY hard time staying on plan, but I don't look at it as "starting over."

I think that's the biggest difference this time. In the past, I did expect perfection from myself, especially from the start. One slip, no matter how tiny made me feel like I had "blown it" and therefore had to "start over" tomorrow (and therefore could eat like a madwoman until then).

Expecting perfection from the start, really is very silly. I mean I wouldn't say that about trying to learn any skill except weight loss. "Oh darn, I misconjugated that verb, I'll never learn German, I might as well give up now!"

Weight loss and improving health isn't one behavior, it's thousands and you can't learn thousands of skills simultaneously. Learning to recognize and unlearn all of the thousands of eating cues and triggers that develop over a lifetime, isn't fast or easy, it takes a lot of time and effort, and a lot of patience. I think expecting perfection, and being unable to achieve it, is one of the largest, if not the largest obstacle to weight loss. But, you don't need perfection to see results (or I definitely wouldn't be here, having lost 60 lbs). I'm not sure that I've ever had 4 perfectly on-plan days in a row in the last, oh maybe 20 years, and that hasn't stopped me from losing (slowly, but still losing).

I think if you're less hard on youself, you'll find that you will make progress. Try to celebrate the progress, instead of punishing yourself fo not doing "enough." There's nothing wrong with wanting to do "better," but if you beat yourself up for not being perfect, you're going to do a lot of beating on yourself (and of course, you're going to get sick of that, and want to quit).

[Lovely]

Kaplods, I'm totally stealing this from earlier posts you've written, but this is one of my favorite visualizations. I've used it so often I should tattoo it backwards on my forehead so I can read it in the mirror.

Imagine you are climbing some stairs. While taking a step up, you stumble a little, maybe even fall back one stair. Do you then, while standing on that stair, turn around and toss yourself down the rest of them simply because of a stumble? Or do you catch yourself, and then continue up the steps?

Stopping to toss your entire body down some steps just in order to climb them again later is a rather ridiculous sounding thing to do. We don't have to climb our stairs perfectly in order to get to the top.

I'll use your meals as examples: In 4 days you've eaten about 12 meals give or take. So you've taken 12 steps towards your goal. You stumbled a bit on that thirteenth step, so you're still standing on the 12th stair. Turn around & look down. Do you really want to jump off of the 12th stair?

You've mentioned that you're already back on track That's fantastic! But this visualization may come in handy at a future "stumble".

Keep at it. EVERY SINGLE PERSON on this board who has been here for a long enough time has stumbled. The difference is that we're continuing forward.

[midwife]

We make hundreds of decisions for food and movement every day. It is IMPOSSIBLE to be perfect. I read a quote that said perfection is the enemy of good. I would say perfection is the enemy of long term weight loss. Perfection is impossible, so give up on striving to never make a mistake. It is what you do most of the time that counts.

As far as making it through a breakfast landmine, you have gotten some good tips. Did you eat a healthy breakfast? Was there fruit? Hardboiled eggs? Staying on plan takes practice and you get better with practice, but it helps to set yourself up for success.

[irrevocable]

Try to look at this as a long process. If you restrict yourself too much when you aren't ready you are bound to binge. So you slipped up - its not the end of the world and you always have tomorrow to make up for it.

Since I started looking at my own weightloss/healthy eating plan in a more long term way (i.e. years instead of months) I have become much more relaxed about my eating habits - as a result I have actually become much more able to stick to my dieting plan because I don't feel guilt or disappointment in myself. Instead I take what happened as an experience and try to learn from it. How did I feel before during and after the binge - emotionally and physically. Usually the way I feel afterwards (overly full/sick and tired/depressed) is enough to deter me from making the same mistake again.

I also make sure I eat plenty at the beginning of my days to avoid bingeing later on in the day.

Well done for attempting to make good changes in your life - not many people even reach that point!

[choirgirlhotel]

Originally Posted by mandalinn82

The difference between someone who makes it to goal and someone who doesn't is NOT that the ones who make it never go off plan...it's that the ones who make it forgive themselves and get right back ON plan after a slip. Those who STAY off plan, who let one less-ideal choice turn into a freefall, don't succeed. But NO ONE succeeds in staying on-plan 100% of the time. Not nobody, not no-how.

I love this!!! thank you for posting that!

~CGH~