RELAPSE coming.

I am falling plunging into old bad habits. Totally overdoing it one day cutting back the next (tho no less than 12/1300 cal). Up and down, back and forth.

-Eating straight from the server, whether it's ice cream or chicken.
-Tucking bits into my mouth before measuring.
-Going back and back and back into the cabinets in the old what's next what's next fashion.
-Continuing on a total binge b/c I'm going to start OP "tomorrow"
-Pigging out early in the day, telling myself," that's ok, won't eat anymore for the day-- at 11:45am?? reeediculous

this is what got me to 165+ pounds

I was really and TOTALLY READY for lifesyle changes and actually made serious progress!! got to goal and then some below. felt healthy, proud, great, fit, spectacular, fabulous, HOT/ well sometimes.

NOW REGRESSING TO VERY DESTRUCTIVE OLD HABITS

kick my a$$. tell me what I know but am not remembering.
kick my a$$!!

please

I am just crawling out of that hole and let me tell you what snapped me out of it.

1) stepping on the scale. I could only avoid for so long. It was SAD.

2) Logging every piece of garbage I was eating into Daily Plate. It was UGLY.

But I needed reality to snap me out of it. I suggest you do whatever will get you to FACE REALITY. Do not continue to live in the dark!

I am still doing those things and it is ugly. 3500 cals, 1350 cals, like that.
and i am still getting on the scale up 2, down 2, up 2. like that
but tomorrow I will be in my self-described RED RED RED ZONE.
worried about NO TURN BACK.

Put a weight chart up on your bathroom wall above your scale and put a pen on the back of the toilet -- then actually draw a red line across that chart at the top of your red zone. Then EVERY day step on that scale and put a dot on the chart for that day's weight...no excuses. It will work as a very real visual cue of what you are doing. That is my best advice. Before I had kids, I lost 45 pounds and that is how I kept off the weight for over four years...new chart every month, actual red line, and a dot every single day. Actually, that is still what I am doing...and what I did while I was losing the weight this time around as well.

Actually, I have a top red line and a bottom red line because I flirted with eating disorders in my youth so the bottom red line keeps me from falling into the pattern where I think "if I lose just a few more pounds, my tummy will be perfect, etc.). I have given myself a five pound spread each side of 138 lbs.

Maybe, for whatever reason, the thought of giving up the binging forever is keeping you from starting to eat the way you learned to love when you reached your goal. Maybe it would help to give yourself permission to eat this way (binging) if you really want to, but only commit to testing out one week of on plan eating. Then reassess how you feel. It's just one week, not forever. Or even just one day. Then reassess.

OK, you realized what you are doing - now give yourself a good and do what you KNOW you need to do. You have all the knowledge and tools at your disposal. Eat clean - get enough protein every meal - drink, drink, drink - keep HEALTHY foods within arms reach and get rid of your binge foods. Step on that scale daily and log everything.

And - post here to let us know how you are doing
You CAN do this!!!!!

Kittycat - maybe you should look at the kinds of foods you are eating and see if there is something you're not getting from your diet that should be there. Maybe your ratios aren't where they should/need to be. Another thought is that maybe you're using food to replace something else - has anything had you more stressed out than usual? I actually put a sign in my fridge sometimes that says "What you're looking for is not in here". Sometimes that helps remind me that I'm not really hungry, but maybe I'm bored/stressed/tired/whatever emotion is eating at me that day.

Good luck getting back on plan!

I agree ... get those binge foods out of your house; I don't have any icecream in my freezer right now. I can only have vanilla icecream in my house and not binge on it; I use fruit nappie bowls for that and desserts now. If there is anything in your house that you can't stop yourself from binging or munching on ~ get rid of it or lock it up in your garage until you can.

The five pound lee-way up and down with the redline chart sounds good as does the sign on your fridge that says, 'if you're not hungry, then what you need isn't in here' ... great idea. Remember that you are still at a good weight and want to stay there. I agree that there is something that is bugging you or your body; try to find out what it is.

Are you bored? Are you taking vitamins with minerals? Do you have good low-cal snacks handy and ready for you to eat when needed? Your sugar level could be down, which can cause hunger; so have a small snack like a piece of fruit or yogurt or both with some hot tea or water afterwards. Go for a walk; call a friend; do some exercises; take a bath; do your nails (hands and feet); read a book or magazine; plan your next holiday; journal your feelings; put on some soothing music; maybe even dance around a bit, or even come here and post ...

There must be something that will DISTRACT YOU from making unwise choices. Make a good list of your favorite things to do and check them off as you go; eventually you'll run out of time and have to go to bed.

Don't do it, a few months of double calories and you'll gain it back like I did. Shake, shake, shake... Then if you do it's back to major restriction and major exercise - and plans like Biggest Loser like I'm doing. Gets old yo yo ing....

The fact that you're having super high and then super low days to me sounds like a vicious cycle (one I know too well, unfortunately.) Check your protein/fat/carb ratios, try to track what's going on during those high days (stress, too many junk carbs, etc.) and then try to find some middle ground.

Restricting too much on those low days only causes me to rebel and eat more, so even if I have a bad day I try to get back on track and undo the damage gradually. Less pressure, and less of a chance of rebounding that way. It's the extremes that do the most damage.

Step away from the cupboards

Could I please speak to the adult in charge?

Here's what you need to do. String together two days in a row on plan! You do that by reminding yourself every morning that you can easily, easily gain weight if you don't pay attention.

Once you manage two days, work on extending it. I like jenguin's idea of the sign--"What you're looking for is not in here."

One idea: Make sure you are eating enough protein. I find that if I'm not, then my craving for sweet foods or fatty foods seems to get worse.

You know what your "bad habits" are. Get the ice cream out of the house. You don't need it in the freezer. You'll just keep going back to it until it's gone, if you're like me. How did it get in the freezer anyway? Just walked in on its own...

All right, enough of my 2 cents.

Jay

OK. thank you all.

I am reading and rereading all of your posts.

Jay, yes, get 2 days OP. a nice place to start.

Jenguin, yes, many stressors. not bored, just wicked overwhelmed and food is procrastinator and distractor.

Joyfulveg, yes, very vicious cycle. One I am all too familiar with. I can't break it this time. It's about to break me. Hence, my somewhat panicked outreach.

Horsey, yes, I will quickly gain it back if I don't change. And I worked too hard to feel too good to lose that!

justwant2behealthy, yes, the sweets cannot be in the house. The problem is sometimes I can have them in the house and sometimes I bring them in and eat them till they're gone. I am consistently inconsistent.

Countingdown, yes, I needed that kick in the pants. Thanks for giving it to me.

Julie, yes, I like to binge and no it is not a good idea for me in any form. I have many battle scars from just this issue.

Lori, yes, I know I am making mistakes. It is feeling helpless to correct them that has got me screaming for help. thank you for helping.

Shumeany, yes, the red line right over the scale is a good one. I think I might feel silly as I share with DH. But he is supportive and actually noted "what's happening to your eating. you are going thru something." he'd be ok with it. But I do use thedaily plate and dig that line too. maybe it needs to be more immediate for me.

Junebug, yes, being in that freakin hole sucks. It was hard to even get out of bed this morning. When OP I can wake up with much more ease.

I so appreciate you all reaching back when I reached out. It means quite a bit and I feel a bit more positive right now.

in gratitude and renewed faith,
Kitty

kittycat,

I'd suggest getting the junk out of the house and replace it with only foods that are on your plan...prepacked everything into single servings if necessary. Then write down all the reasons you're working to lose weight and put it on your fridge in big, bold red lettering. Then, anytime you reach for a binge, take 2 minutes to look at the list and then ask yourself if you're willing to trade where you could be for where you are right now for the rest of your life in order to have a tub of ice cream in that moment. Good luck! You can do this!

good ideas. My binges these days start out so innocently, with , well I can have a bit, no problem. But I AM AN ADDICT. and I MUST remember this.