Ok chicks. I need a kick in the ... ahem ... today.
I've mentioned in other threads that I'm dealing with a lot of personal stress. There's too much to go into here, a lot of which is private, and some of which I can't talk about for legal reasons. There are restraining orders involved (from me, not against me ). Sounds like fun, huh?
So all this month I've been working on my accountability - not letting all of this stress get to me.
Day before yesterday some friends came in from out of town and we had a girls night, which I decided would be my "no counting" meal. Great. That pushed that day up to about 3000 calories (estimated), no biggie. Back on track.
Except not.
Yesterday I was so stressed and worried I came home from the office, went to bed, slept for 4 hours. Got up ate a frozen pizza (actually French Bread pizza - both of them), drank 2 beers, and went back to bed. Slept until this morning.
I feel like crap. My tummy is upset from the grease, I'm swollen and puffy from all the sodium and the beer. I'm headachey and still tired. (Oh and btw, total calories for yesterday? 3007. *sigh*)
I know better. I know that sleeping and eating is NOT going to make anything easier. I have a to-do list that's as long as my arm and when I go to court I HAVE to have all my ducks in a row or it will be a waste of my time and money.
Someone smack me around and make me see common sense. This is not getting me anywhere.
I'm sorry you are going through a tough time. Stress sucks. My suggestion is next time maybe you should post you are about to indulge on beer and pizza BEFORE you do it, and we can talk you out of it. Though of course, sometimes we don't want to be talked out of it.
What ever is going on in your life seems to involve another person, and by sabotaging your own weight loss, the other person is getting the best of you. DON'T let that happen. Stay strong, stay fit. You need to stay in control. The better you feel the more power you have.
Wow, Photo, it is just so compelling when the going gets really tough just to opt for those old coping behaviors that give temporary relief. The trick there is "temporary," as I'm sure you know. The next day, comes the "hangover" in whatever form.
My suggestion would be like this: Instead of going for the food and beer, give yourself half an hour, or even 15 minutes, before you go there. During that time, just sit and be quiet. It won't be easy--you may want to jump up and take some action, but make a deal that 15 minutes is OK not to do that.
While you're being quiet, reflect on the big picture of your life--what do you want it to look like? Try to see it as you want it. There you are, slimmer, prosperous, doing your work and enjoying it, having time off and enjoying that, eating healthy but delicious foods in moderate amounts, having good times with your boyfriend. If any negative thoughts intrude, don't push them away--notice them, acknowledge that they are there, and then turn back to the big picture.
When the 15 minutes are up, you'll be better centered in yourself. You may not make different choices--but then again, you may, and in any case, you have had a restful 15 minutes.
Sounds like you're really going through a rough time in your life right now.
The best way to get through it in one piece is to eat healthfully. Eating to fuel your body makes one so much stronger - both physically and mentally. The grease and sugar will only make you feel defeated.
I find that everything else in my life just looks so much better when I'm eating right.
Try to get through the next hour without over indulging in the wrong food choices. Then another hour. Then get to dinnertime. Then to bedtime.
Tomorrow morning after a decent day today you'll feel more ready to take on your life. Your eating challenges. All of life's challenges. There are so many things in life that one cannot control. Your food choices are in your control. You know how to do the right thing - just look at your weight loss numbers.
You said you wanted the kick but I kind of think the hugs are more what you need so here's a little of both.
Stress bites! From all your posts that I've read, you are (mostly ) a very together lady. Even the most togetherest folks are bound to have a minor meltdown once in a while and do things they know better than to do. I was going to say that, tough as it is, you gotta take care of your physical health to give you the strength to deal with the mental stress, but you already know that. You also already know that one or two days of backsliding isn't going to totally undo all that you've accomplished so far as long as you get a handle on it quickly. Even with all the rotton stuff you are dealing with, try to make a little sliver of space in your mind to regain that toehold of control you have over your food choices - maybe it will give you a minute or two free of worrying over the stuff you can't control by yourself. Then, if you haven't already, go order those boots you posted about on another thread. Those are the most *I'm in control* boots I ever saw (outside an adult toy store)
Photo - I've woken up in the middle of the night wanting to eat to make the stress go away, too. Never good!
This summer, when the world went to heck and back, there were two or three nights I did some light yoga when that happened. Just autopiloted to my living room floor, put on my "Zen in your Den" PM Yoga, and just -did- it.
By the time it was done, if I wasn't sleepy, I was at least more relaxed, and I didn't want to eat.
You might give it a try. Obviously you don't want to do exhaustive cardio or hard workouts, as they'll adrenaline you up to a point where you won't sleep. But something gentle might help you to put your mind at peace.
Hang in there sweetie, you will get through this. I agree with the poster who said don't let this other person or persons win by letting yourself slip back into bad habits and making yourself miserable. You have come so far and accomplished so much, letting them take that would be tragic.
Now, for the kicking part - pull yourself back up and get back on track today and tomorrow will be so much better! You know how much better you feel when you make healthy choices, so you know exactly what you are missing today after the French Bread Pizza and beer. Do you want to keep missing that good feeling you've talked about in so many posts? I think not!
I'd suggest a punching bag on a stand for when you come home from work full of stress - banging on mine has really helped me vent mine lately. That, and the fabulous boots mentioned above.
Last edited by Shannon in ATL; 10-10-2008 at 12:02 PM.
Ah, Photo.....so you're human....I think you've gotten a lot of good advice so far so I will just add---you don't have to be perfect. So you had some beer and pizza....you have made so many healthy habits that one or two slips or missteps will not undo all you have done. It is ok. We can and do slip into our former comforting mechanisms. Don't be so hard on yourself, 'kay? So I won't smack you, but you instead. None of us are Superwoman. And we don't have to be.
Last edited by midwife; 10-10-2008 at 12:21 PM.
Reason: typo
You guys are awesome. Seriously. I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes. And I love that you're all telling me what I know and what I've said to others.
Lori - what you said about allowing these other people to control my life really hit home hard. I have allowed them to control my life for a very long time. For a long time losing weight and being healthy was the one thing I had that THEY were not a part of. When I decided last month that it was time to become more aggressive with resolving things, it stirred up the muck at the bottom of the pond again and I wasn't entirely ready for it, emotionally, even though I know it has to be done for me to move forward.
But you're absolutely right. To let it influence me in this way is allowing those people control over me again in a very negative way. And I've worked hard this last year to get negativity out of my life. So I can't let it back in now.
And Mrs. d - you're so right. This is what I would say to someone else: DO NOT LET THIS PERSON OR PERSONS RULE YOUR LIFE.
So I need to remember that for myself as well!!
Thank you all. It means so much to me to be able to get this kind of support here.
.
Last edited by PhotoChick; 10-10-2008 at 12:47 PM.
I know better!
). Sounds like fun, huh?
The next day, comes the "hangover" in whatever form.
then a 
) a very together lady. Even the most togetherest folks are bound to have a minor meltdown once in a while and do things they know better than to do. I was going to say that, tough as it is, you gotta take care of your physical health to give you the strength to deal with the mental stress, but you already know that. You also already know that one or two days of backsliding isn't going to totally undo all that you've accomplished so far as long as you get a handle on it quickly. Even with all the rotton stuff you are dealing with, try to make a little sliver of space in your mind to regain that toehold of control you have over your food choices - maybe it will give you a minute or two free of worrying over the stuff you can't control by yourself. Then, if you haven't already, go order those boots you posted about on another thread. Those are the most *I'm in control* boots I ever saw (outside an adult toy store) 
well, then turn around....
