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Old 10-07-2008, 01:30 PM   #31  
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First of all, congrats!!! 30 lbs are an accomplishment! please do not let anything discourage you and remember that you did it for yourself and you do not need anyones validation!!
Way to go girl!
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Old 10-07-2008, 01:41 PM   #32  
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Congrats on your loss, that's such a great accomplishment!

I totally understand your frustration; you've worked hard and want that work to be recognized. On the other hand, wouldn't you have been crushed if someone had commented on how you looked before you lost the weight? I agree with those who've said that people generally just shy away from commenting on weight, unless they know the subject is not taboo.

To be honest, there are very few people I want to comment on my loss because, as I'm still heavy, that's not a subject I want to discuss with a lot of people. However, I've found that if I initiate the discussion, I get lots of comments. I mentioned my new workout program to my niece and her response was, "Yeah, you look GREAT, but I didn't know if you wanted to talk about it." Likewise, my kids know how hard I've been working, but don't really say anything until I do. When I recently mentioned that I've lost almost 20 lbs. to my son, he told me how he'd noticed it the week before and how proud he was of me. So, I'm sure people are noticing; they're just trying to be sensitive to your feelings.

Last edited by rmc9142; 10-07-2008 at 01:42 PM.
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Old 10-07-2008, 02:22 PM   #33  
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Congratulations on your loss!
I find that with me, the weight always comes of my butt/hips first (and nowhere else) so I think it is much more obvious than if you lose more evenly all over your body. And like somebody else said, if it's people you see very often, maybe that's why they haven't noticed yet. Wait until they take a good look at you and then you'll start getting the compliments.
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Old 10-07-2008, 02:29 PM   #34  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by luvin2lose View Post
Ok ladies, I am so dang ticked off. Ok, ticked off isn't really the word. Mildly annoyed. Frustrated and in need of validation.

I have lost almost 30 lbs in the last 2 months. And not ONE person has even NOTICED. I mean COME ON !!! REALLY? I MEAN REALLY? No one has noticed 30 lbs loss. I can see the difference in my face alone and I am my harshest critic. How rude !!!

I am proud of myself and still motivated, just annoyed that I have lost 11% of my body weight and no one has even the slightest inkling. Puhleeaase !! Oh and let me mention this, NOT EVEN MY HUSBAND has commented on my loss. Give me 10 more lbs and I will post some before and after, errr, during pics. You CAN and WILL be able to see the difference.

*stepping off soapbox*


(umm, can you tell I just started my period??? )



I'm sure they do notice, but perhaps don't want to say anything? That is possible. I've had ppl ask others behind my back if I've lost weight and that I look good, yada yada, and the person they tell ( usually my sister ) will say, make sure you tell her that!
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Old 10-07-2008, 02:38 PM   #35  
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Congrats on the FABULOUS loss. FABULOUS.

I will tell you that for me, I myself didn't notice until I had lost about 35 lbs. And others, it took about 50 lbs for people to start commenting. And then boy oh boy did those comments come - and come - and come and I've been at my goal for 15 months now - and they're still coming. So just stick with this and hold on tight - cause' there's gonna be more comments coming then you'll know what to do with.

BRAVO on a great job thus far.
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Old 10-07-2008, 03:54 PM   #36  
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I think sometimes it's very hard to notice weight loss in ourselves or in people close to us, because if we see someone (even ourself) every day, the change happens so gradually, all we know is that we and they look the same today as we did yesterday. It isn't until someone pulls out an old picture that we're reminded of the difference.

And of course there are people who notice, but are uncomforatable talking about it because they don't know whether it would be seen as rude or not. There are a lot of people who do view any mention of weight or physical appearance as a taboo subject, especially to gush. I read in an etiquette book once that it was rude to be too enthusiastic or gush about a person's change in appearance, because it implied they looked horrible before. So a "you look nice today," is ok, but a "wow, you look great!" (with a surprised expression on your face) could be interpreted as "Geez you were hideous before."
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Old 10-07-2008, 04:02 PM   #37  
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Another thing to consider here ... my friend who has pancreatic cancer has lost quite a bit of weight. He and I have discussed the dilemma he has. People who haven't seen him in a while and don't know about his cancer diagnosis will often say "Wow ---, you've lost some weight haven't you? You look great!"

(And yes, he wanted to lose a few pounds before his diagnosis - he was about 20 lbs overweight to begin with.)

But now it takes on a different meaning. He knows these people don't mean to be insensitive because they don't know. But how does he respond? "Thanks. By the way I have terminal cancer and that's why I'm losing weight." ??

He's always gracious, but then when these same people ask how he's doing and he tells them, he says you can see the looks on their faces that they're regretting their original comments about his weight.

Commenting on someone's physical status is WROUGHT with potential drama. My policy is unless I absolutely 100% know that someone would welcome my comment .. I don't.

That doesn't make me rude or thoughtless or inconsiderate or even mean that I haven't noticed.

.
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Old 10-07-2008, 07:45 PM   #38  
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First off, congrats on the 30 lb loss!!! That's so awesome!

I had lost somewhere between 30-40 pounds before a lot of people started noticing I had lost weight... or at least saying it to me. And I'm short and trust me it wasn't hard to tell!!! I think a lot of people just aren't sure how to bring it up. Unless you lose an extremely large amount and then keep it off a while, then they feel safe to say something. That's how it seems to me!

Keep up the good work and eventually they won't be able to hold it in any longer!
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Old 10-07-2008, 09:19 PM   #39  
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Have you bought new clothes yet?

I lose 25 pounds and no one noticed, until I went shopping and got some clothes that actually fit me. If your wearing the same clothes that have enough extra room for 30 lbs of you, people won't usually pick up weather it's baggy clothes or flab, especially if they see you everyday.
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Old 10-07-2008, 09:51 PM   #40  
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Congratulations on the weight loss- you must been doing great if you've lost 30 pounds! Don't let it bring you down if people don't comment about your loss though, but I know how frustrated u must feel!
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Old 10-07-2008, 10:08 PM   #41  
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Puh-lease! I have written your exact same words on this exact same sight a couple of times. I don't know what people's problems are - it is SO frustrating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All I can tell you is that you will suddenly hit a point that people will start to say something - for me it was when I hit around 220 - a 36lb loss. Really?? No one could tell before that??

Hang in there - it's almost like a test. You have to learn to be proud of yourself - and not only that - not just care if anyone notices, but to do this for yourself (who? Me?). I don't know if you are like me - but all of my weight loss fantasies included how other people would react to me and my skinny self. When that didn't happen I suddenly didn't know what to do. If not for everyone's reaction then why am I losing weight?? ( I know, I know - my health, happiness, blah, blah, blah) - but for a long time it was other people. When they didn't care - then I had to make a big decision - dig down - and care enough FOR them. Not easy - but somehow I'm doing it - and you know what?? People notice my loss like crazy now (the very thing I wished for) and it makes me feel funny because I feel so strong and their words don't matter.

I'll cheer you on -- we all will here - go try on those too big clothes and cheer out loud for yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!: cheer:
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Old 10-07-2008, 10:34 PM   #42  
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I can totally relate to this! I've lost 46 lbs to date and just recently started really getting compliments. It seems that the people who see me most often are the last to notice but those who haven't seen me in a while are blown away! So, I think that the ones we see all the time are seeing us lose a little and along and don't notice as much.

Last night DH and I went out for dinner and ran into an old co-worker of his. I haven't seen him since before my weight loss journey started. He told my DH that he honestly thought that he was there with another woman.

Talk about feeling good!

Keep up the good work!
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Old 10-07-2008, 10:37 PM   #43  
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It is frustrating when you work so hard for something and no one notices. I have had one person aside from my mother notice my weight loss. Congrats on the 30lbs!!!!
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Old 10-08-2008, 04:21 PM   #44  
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I would actually be mad if people went on about it. Cause I would be wondering if they were thinking "about time," or "she's still huge." Unless I know the person really really well my lips are staying sealed.
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Old 10-08-2008, 04:28 PM   #45  
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Now that I really think about it, I was a very secretive dieter until people really started to notice the change (about 50 lbs in.) I had the opinion that if I failed, only I would be hard on myself rather than everyone else as well. Of course, that also made it very hard to celebrate victories as well...
Be happy at your achievement!
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