Thank you -- that was definitely the @ss-kickin' I needed lol.
I know for sure that a person's appearence, great, flawed, really flawed, etc. does NOT determine their worth and what they deserve in life, but sometimes, for myself only, I feel like my appearence is the be-all and end-all of my life and worth as a person. It's silly, but it only applies to myself (in my mind).
I'm also pretty sure that I didn't actually gain body fat -- I'm POSITIVE I was eating far less than 3500 calories a day, so it's a physical impossibility to gain pounds of fat that way, but psychologically I felt so huge and gross and etc. All that time outside, standing in the sun, sweating, etc. didn't help matters.
Re my ticker: I've been STUCK at 74-75lbs lost for about 3 years, so the joy of it has worn off, I'm afraid, and I kinda just feel like a failire now for being swso stuck there. Blagh. Still, losing 75lbs is an accomplishment, I know.
Thanks again
Quote:
Originally Posted by retiredone
Just let me say, suck it up and get over it. You're not the first or the last person to go on vacation and have a rotten time/gain weight. You were only gone for 4 days!! How much damage could you possibly do?
And since when did how much you weight determine a person's worth? If you feel like a fat ugly beast now, you'll feel like a skinny ugly beast when you lose all that unwanted weight. Obviously your fiance sees through your exterior and loves you for who you really are. He just put up with your whining for the last 4 days, didn't he and you're still engaged and he still loves you, right?
Take a nice bubble bath, put on some make-up and a nice outfit and go forward confident and brave knowing that you are a beautiful, and in control woman who can and will win this battle and be stronger for having fought the demons that surface from time to time.
And take a look at your weight ticker--that'd make me do a happy dance!
That was all so SO SO true, but I keep losing sight of that.
I had my wedding shower the day before we left for vacation -- it was a total surprise calculated by my fiance, my mother and my bridesmaids and it was very sweet (I've never been genuinely surprised like that with a party, as I can usually smell things like that coming...). It was fun and very sweet that they all organized this for me and decorated the restaurant stuff. And hey, I even look pretty good in the pictures... but i heard my cousin (who Im not close to, who never met my fiance before last Sunday and who is older than me, thin and "pretty") was marveling in surprise at how good looking my fiance is. Saying things like, "Wooow, Karen's fiance's actually so good looking" etc. Like surprised I was able to attract someone handsome (and he is handsome!). I know part of it is jealousy at being older and "prettier" (though dumb as dirt-- ahem...), but still, why is she so SHOCKED? Bc I'm ugly and ugly girls don't attract handsome guys. At least that's how I was thinking all vacation.
But you're very right -- happiness and kindness makes a person (anyone) beautiful and cruelty, jealousy and whatever makes a person truly ugly.
PS: I'm sure you were a beautiful princess on your wedding day! What style dress did you have? Mine is A-line and gathered at the waist on the left side.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kaplods
I weighed pretty much my higest weight on my wedding day, and I'll deck anyone who says I wasn't a beautiful bride. I felt and looked like a princess (ok, a humongously fat princess, but I was the best d*d looking fat princess on the planet that day), because I was wearing the custom gown I'd helped design with my seamstress, and I was marrying my fat, handsome prince.
And you know how I knew I was beautiful, not just to me and my handsome prince? My skinniest, blonde, gorgeous coworker at my wedding (an aquaintence more than a friend) had tears streaming down her face at my wedding. Because happiness is what makes a bride beautiful on her wedding day, not the dress and not her figure.
Don't let your image of what you think you're "supposed to be," ruin that day.
As much as I want to lose 200 more pounds, I would not change a thing on my wedding day - not even my weight. That fat princess met her fat prince, and are living happily ever after. And while weight loss for both of us is part of our happily ever after, I wouldn't unwish any part of that wonderful day.
At it's worst, fat is just fat. Fat can't make you truly ugly. Only mean-spiritedness can make a person truly, to-the-bone ugly. A gentle and giving spirit is always beautiful to those who know HOW to see. If no one at your wedding but you and your fiance see that beauty - that's a terrible loss for all of your guests, but a much greater tragedy would be if you were the only one NOT to see your beauty on that day.
Re my ticker: I've been STUCK at 74-75lbs lost for about 3 years, so the joy of it has worn off, I'm afraid, and I kinda just feel like a failire now for being swso stuck there. Blagh. Still, losing 75lbs is an accomplishment, I know.
Thanks again
If you've been stuck for about 3 years maybe you should look into a real life support group like WW or TOPS, etc... to supplement 3FC. They may be able to kick start your weight loss again and then you'll get to move your ticker again.
All the best as you get closer to your wedding day. I'm sure you'll look back on it as the perfect wedding day any girl could have.
I think you'll be surprised how much better you feel how fast. A few days of treating your self and body right, and you'll be back on track. You already have a good base of healthy living to fall back on.
My dress was a renaissance inspired style. When I get home, I'll attach a photo in this thread or in a PM. It was fitted in the bust, with a high waist with sheer butterfly sleeves. I look way too pale in white, so it's a light ivory.
I know how easy it is to judge ourselves by a different standard than the rest of the world, but we have to remind ourselves of the damage doing so does. We are just as human as any body else, and putting ourselves last, or having unrealistic expectations is disrespectful. And how much respect will anyone else have for us if we clearly don't respect ourselves. We have to be our own best friend, not worst enemy.
Sometimes it helps to act a little crazy in front of the mirror. Look at that woman in the mirror and talk to her - treat her as if she were your best friend - because that's what you need to make "her." When we lose respect for ourselves, often other people start to as well. You are worthy of your dreams and don't forget that. When you start to berate yourself, try to stop and first ask yourself if you would even consider punishing or criticizing someone else like you're doing to yourself. If it would be rude, horrible, unforgiveable to do to someone else - don't do it to yourself.
I know most of us aren't taught to live that way. We're often raised to be martyrs - meeting our needs only after we've done our best to satisfying everyone else's - the problem with that is that it never ends up being your turn. Take your turn.
Sometimes it helps to act a little crazy in front of the mirror. Look at that woman in the mirror and talk to her - treat her as if she were your best friend - because that's what you need to make "her." When we lose respect for ourselves, often other people start to as well. You are worthy of your dreams and don't forget that. When you start to berate yourself, try to stop and first ask yourself if you would even consider punishing or criticizing someone else like you're doing to yourself. If it would be rude, horrible, unforgiveable to do to someone else - don't do it to yourself.
I know most of us aren't taught to live that way. We're often raised to be martyrs - meeting our needs only after we've done our best to satisfying everyone else's - the problem with that is that it never ends up being your turn. Take your turn.
Hear hear!
Karen, I hope you're feeling better and getting back into your groove
Sorry you had such a bad experience. A few other people that I know went up and had an amazing time. They said the food was great and the experience was something they would never forget. It even inspired me to sponsor a chicken (which I plan on visiting some day soon). Maybe it was just a bad time when you were there? Are you vegetarian or vegan? I know sometimes people who aren't sometimes have issues with the food.
Being stuck at a certain weight can suck, but think of it this way - at least you haven't gained any weight, right?
and there's really no "at least" about it. Maintaining a weight loss is so much harder than losing it in the first place, that being "stuck" is still a success most people can't accomplish.
I would also recommend a support group like TOPS. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my TOPS group. The prizes and incentives and contests and all of the friendly support really keep me motivated. Since I have such a hard time getting the weight to come off at a reasonable rate, it can get so frustrating, but the group really keeps me focused.
Oh and here's one of my wedding photos (just got home this afternoon, haven't gotten on the scale to see how much damage I did on my vacation). It's got a weird border, but it was the only photo I had that was small enough to upload.
Colleen - you are SO BEAUTIFUL, and you both look so very happy! Yay!! It's wonderful to put your posts together with a face. Gorgeous dress, too!
KLK ... hang in there girl. It's been a gaining summer for me too. Maybe we could do a new little thread -- The Get Serious Thread. I still have a month until I go back to school, and I really, really do NOT want to have to buy bigger clothes for work!
What do you all think - Would a "Let's Get Serious" Thread be in order??? I think I need it!
I think sometimes the idea of "getting serious," sometimes turns into punishing for not being perfect. So I'd suggest maybe a foucs on maybe specific goal setting. You know planning and following through. How have you planned for success and achieved it today?
On a personal note, I don't really know how I managed it exactly, but I only gained a half pound during my vacation. I am completely stumped, except that I did make (unconsciously, so it must be becoming a habit) better choices and did a lot of walking. I'm rather shocked by it actually, because I didn't follow through on my plan for success (weighing and journaling daily. The scale broke, but I didn't have an excuse for not journaling).
