Hi Gravity!
First, let me welcome you to this wonderful board. If you don't have support, you've found the right place! I don't think I could have gone as far as I have without the constant support and info I have found here.
When I started, I felt lost too. I didn't know where to start and I couldn't stick to a program if it was covered in glue!

I kept letting myself down to the point where I felt that I was lying to myself. I have a food addiction so the thought of not being under the power of food seemed very hard to believe. I wanted a solution. I wanted a miracle.
That was me...and I think you and I share a lot of simliarities....just as I am sure many of the people on this board feel. A huge percentage of us have been in your exact shoes and yet we have managed to somehow get started and stay on it.
How? First: stop beating yourself up for the past. It's over and you MUST move on. Second: there are amazing ladies on here that have had a lot more to lose than you or I and they are doing it and have done it (see the goal section...read people's blogs, etc.). Third: you have to find something you can do forever. No quick fixes will do. For me, the miracle has been calorie counting ( I also keep things lower in carb, but not very low). The reason calorie counting works so well for me is because often times, I feel like I ate too many calories, not knowing it's still fine and this gives me a sense of control. Seriously. Also, it sounds impossible at first, but once you get started, it becomes second nature. THere is a Calorie Counters forum here. If that sounds bad to you...there are MANY OTHER DIETS that work! The key to them all is consistency...not motivation. MOtivation will only get you so far when you get started, but consistency is what gets you to goal and maintenance!

The beauty of calorie counting is that it's cheap. YOu eat things from anywhere, but you can just make sure your portions are controlled.
Fourth: Exercise is critical. Start slow. Do you belong to a gym? If not, there are lots of DVD's you can buy or get from the library. You can go for walks...once that becomes too easy, you can cary a backpack full of water bottles, etc. Then, you can move on to other things and you'll get lots of ideas here.
Finally: You must change your habits. When you are stressed or want to eat and you knjow you shouldn't ....find something else to do. I like to eat frozen grapes or chew gum. I measure out one cup of grapes and freeze them into portion controlled bags. They have only 65 calories! If I want a very low calorie lunch, I eat a boca burger with a low carb tortilla from La Tortilla Factory: it's 150 calories for the whole thing!
To figure out how many calories you should eat, go to Google and search for Resting MEtabolic Rate. That will tell you (once you add your own info) about how many calories you burn if you do nothing at all but stay in bed all day. That's how many calories I eat. Then, I workout and burn more. If I burn 3500 calories a week in exercise and I creat another 3500 calorie deficit by eating less, then I should lose about 2 lbs. per week. or 8 lbs. a month.
Oh, I forgot to mention: get rid of your thinking in terms of time pressure. Yeah, we all want to lose x amount of weight my x amount of time, but what's the point? Why not decide that this time, you're going to lose it for good and if it takes you a little longer, then so be it. Be kind to yourself and set up rewards for a job well done. I like to do something special for every 5 lbs. that I lose. So, I get manicures, pedicures, buy cheap clothes at discount stores, etc. You figure out what makes YOU feel good. Maybe take time to go to a movie, or a walk somewhere.
I am so sorry this got so long! I hope you will find your way here and I hope you will reach your goal...I know you can do this because I know how you feel!!!! Just be strong and start today. Food doesn't solve problems but it can sure create them!