[KLK]

My mother also needs to lose some weight (I'd say around 50 lbs; she must be around 210lbs right now and I think if she got down to even 170lbs or 160lbs, she'd look better and feel better). About 4 years ago, she managed to lose a lot of weight -- I don't know how much -- but she looked really good; not "skinny" but much more svelt. Then, she abandoned her new eating habits and regained. Also, this is a person I have NEVER seen voluntarily walk further than the distance from the car to the door, so getting her to exercise is not an option. At this point, she obviously wants to lose weight (esp. since my wedding is coming up!) but she persists in eating doritos, cookies, sugary fruit and her idea of diet is like "I wake up, I eat nothing but have coffee, get to work, have coffee, for lunch, have a fruit salad and coffee, then come home from work, have coffee, have dinner, have coffee, have like 8 cookies, go to bed" so she's eating like 800 calories, none of which has any kind of nutrition.

So at this point, I just encourage her to actually have lunch and to stop buying junk food. I feel, as others have said, that you can't bully someone into losing weight, even if you mean it in the best of ways.

[yoyoma]

This is a very tough situation.

In the end, *she* needs to want to lose the weight. It is very hard work to adopt a healthy lifestyle and you can't do it for her.

Others have suggested possible ways to trigger her epiphany -- the realization that she should make these changes a priority in her life. Suggestions included a heart-to-heart talk, seeing a doctor, looking at old pics, etc. I hope you find something that works.

I do want to add that regardless of how she gets started (and even if none of these suggestions work), it might be a good idea to help nurture her desire to take better care of herself.

Subtle suggestions from my family members (that I could eat healthier, exercise more, etc) tend to backfire, but I am an absolute glutton for compliments. Frankly, even when I know I'm being manipulated, it still works!

Your mom may be quite different. But, if you can find things to compliment, she might decide to actively seek more of them and get motivated that way. It might even work if the compliment isn't weight related... things like, "That outfit (top/dress/whatever) make you look (pretty/energetic/upbeat)."

If she does buy any healthy foods already, you might eat some and ask her to buy more of the same [basically, this gives her an indirect complement for her savvy shopping as well as ensure some healthy foods are stocked.]

Also, are there any recipes that she makes that you think are healthy? I'm sure she'd love to be asked by you to show you how to make that dish.

Good luck -- I am glad that she has caring family members who have her best interests at heart!!!

[sacha]

My sister is overweight. She is around 170-180lbs at 18 years old and gaining quickly due to a poor diet and inactive lifestyle.

All I can do for her is make sure that I MODEL good habits (without making negative comments on hers), encourage her when she makes good choices ("that apple is great for you!", if she chooses it instead of chocolate), and hope that one day she makes the right decision for herself.

I'm sure her self esteem is beaten up enough already, no need to make it worse.