Good morning,

Just wanted to vent (or whine a little, as the case may be) my frustrations. My husband and I took on this “life style” change 3 weeks ago, well just over 3 weeks. We don’t “diet” but we have cut back on portions significantly, eat almost 3 or 4 times the vegetables we used to, added more fruit, count calories, watch fat, count dietary fiber and take a multi vitamin every day. We also bought bikes for the family and started riding them. I’ve only missed 2 days in 3 weeks, I get up every morning at 3:30am and do no less than a mile and a half before getting ready for work. He’s done pretty good but he misses a lot more days than I do. My frustration comes in the form of jealousy. You can SEE a difference in him. He LOOKS like he’s losing weight. I however, do not see a difference in myself at all. I still look huge and it’s frustrating. I won’t give up but I had hoped to at least see a little improvement on the outside to match the new “good” feeling inside.

Sad in Minnesota ,
Jennifer

aww jennifer! im afraid thats sometimes being a female SUCKS!! this is one of those times.

men dont have to do a thing to lose weight or gain muscle, theyre genetically predisposed toward it!

we have to work harder... dont despair!

Hi Jennifer - I'm so sorry for your frustration - believe me when I say - there isn't a chick here who hasn't felt it before. Unfortunately, for each of us - we don't know if that feeling is going to be present at the beginning, middle, or end of our journey...but my best advice for you is to post your exact meals here so that some folks can give you their opinion on what you are eating and what you can do to improve. Also...just a thought, you are doing at least a 1.5 mile bike ride every day - are you working in any other exercise? I know life is busy - but maybe you can try to add in one more thing each week - a new workout video, riding an extra mile each day, lifting some weights....there is a lot you can do - but sometimes we just have to change it up - I've had to do that myself with the recent addition of yoga and pilates to my lifestyle...which I LOVE LOVE LOVE by the way

Don't get frustrated (or at least don't quit!!!) just because your hubby is seeing changes more quickly - btw, have you asked him if he is noticing changes in you - I know in my head, I often see myself fatter than I actually am these days...sometimes our eyes and brains just aren't ready to work it out for us!!!

P.S. take your measurements on a monthly basis - you WILL see a change there!

Jennifer - Ahhh... men. :-/ They naturally lose weight/fat faster than us chicks. And they build muscle faster, too!!! Unfair! Unfair!!! We can either form a protest & march to city hall... or we can just keep going... And while the protest would be a good way to get in some exercise, it wouldn't accomplish much else. You're making some great & healthy changes. You may not be able to see much of a difference because you cannot step outside of yourself to observe. Be patient. You'll see those changes

Yup - what they said. Especially what Faerie said.

Men lose faster, and gain muscle faster. Some women lose faster and gain muscle faster, even when eating the same things and doing the same sorts of exercise. Each of us has a unique metabolism, and that's just the way it goes. Jealousy or frustration at someone else's pace is only going to frustrate you, with your husband and maybe with others as well. The only one you should compare yourself to is you.

BTW, have you been weighing and measuring yourself? Because of the way the brain works, we see changes in others bodies before we see changes in our own. So it may be that you are changing too, and your eyes just can't see it yet.

Take pictures right now. Any time I get ready to do a big push and really focus on losing and exercise I actually usually gain about 2-3 pounds. The first month is awful. I gain a few and lose a few, like 3 and hate it. But I take pictures and a month later I can SEE that my face is slimmer and my body is slimmer. These things you don't notice so much unless you take pictures. Keep up the great work!

There was a study done on men and woman losing weight. It proved that mens bodies are so different and as soon as they change anything they lose wieght but in woman when they start changing things lowering portions excercising...the study showed that in most womans bodys it will take 3 weeks before there is much changing because some womans bodys protect their fat storage until after a few weeks the body realizes hey we are getting rid of the fat...so hang in there...also have you been checked for thyroid problems because you can do all you want to lose weight and it does not help very much....Keep going!!!

You didn't say how much you each had to lose. If you have a lot, it takes time for a noticeable change. I have been at goal for more than 30 years and still see a fat woman in the mirror. Take a picture of yourself every month when you measure. I'm always amazed to se a picture of myself and I'm thin. What I'm trying to say is we don't always see ourselves as others do.

Hi you guys, thanks so much, I really appreciate all the support. Actually, in hindsight, I wish I had measured myself 3 weeks ago so that I could see if anything has changed that I haven't noticed. Here's, however, the breakdown.

Me: I weighed 292 pounds 3 weeks ago and a week and a half in I had lost 5 pounds but haven't weighed myself since. I need to buy a scale for home since the only one I have access to at the moment is at work at a friends desk....I just don't like weighing there. My current goal is 200 pounds to start. Will re do my goals after I reach that one.

Hubby: he weighed 386 pounds 3 weeks ago. He wants to lose 100 pounds for starters. I don't know what he's actually lost but he DOES look like he's dropped quite a bit. It is very noticable...and I am very happy for him. I am.

I can barely look at myself in the mirror so the thought of pictures scares me to death. I know I prolly should take them though.

Jen

Ugh... I'm sitting here eating broccoli and tofu and drinking water and my fiance has 3 slices of pizza and a can of soda... guess who lost some weight this week?

Take them now. You don't even have to look at them now, but just take them. You'll want them to compare when you're down the road.

At nearly 50 pounds lost, I *still* don't see a difference when I look in the mirror. But you know what? My sister sent me a collage recently (after I whined to her about seeing no difference) of before and after pictures she's taken, and the difference in print is substantial. You can see them here if you want to.

So my advice is TAKE THE PICTURES. Get your husband to take them so you don't have to look at them, and put them away until you're ready to take more pictures. I think you'll find the differences are pretty amazing when you keep photographic evidence around.

I started off at nearly 290 pounds (actually, probably more than that because I don't know what my highest weight really is) and I didn't really notice a difference in the way I looked until I dropped almost 50 pounds. My clothes felt different, sure... but I looked the same. And it's only been the last few weeks that the people around me have noticed any change. My sense is that it has a lot to do with your size and how your weight loss is distributed on your body. It'll happen, just be persistent!

Hang in there, you may just not be noticing the subtle changes in your body! So stay with it!