I started my weight loss because of something someone said to me. They said, "You used to be so tiny in high school." Well, with my 10-year reunion coming up this June, I decided to drop my last 25 pounds of baby weight. You know what, my reasons may not have been honorable, but it got my butt moving. I have lost 13 pounds of my 25. I have less than half left. I follow weight watchers very strict. Easy compared to Atkins, which I always struggled with. I think there is a some pathology behind weight gains, but once you get started, you will feel so empowered. I weight 168 pounds right now, but I feel the same way I did when I weight 138 pounds, because I am doing something about. When I started at 182, I felt the same way you do. It is amazing how exercise and the right diet help you get over heartbreak.
thats realy gr8 feeling to see all ur extra pounds vanishing again
i wish i could feel that soon
im not patient anymore
but i will listen to all of u and follow ur advices
I hate looking at old pictures because it makes me more depressed too. It should make me motivated to get there again but it doesnt. When my husband and i meant I weighed 125-130 I now weigh 100lbs more and it doesnt even bother him. I think that too I have to lose weight so some skinny chick doesnt catch his eye. But you know he loves me for more than the way I look. He doesnt make comments about my weight. If I ever say anything about it or something he is very supportive and loving. Once in a while he asks what he can do to help or do I have a plan. I had girls watch tapes of me doing dramas a few years ago and they are like you were so skinny back then. so yeah its like slapping me in the face and saying YOUR FAT NOW!!! But this is the best place for you to be and have support!!!! Good Luck!!!! You can do anything you put your mind to!!
i agree with u .. everyone can do anything they put in their mind
but im depressed thats why i thank God that i found this forum ..
sometimes words could change a whole person
and u r all pushing me up with the lovely and supportive words
Sweetie I really think you need to go see a counselor. You are so wrapped up in how much it's about looks it makes me sad.
Do you really believe that the only reason he cheated on you is because you gained weight? Seriously? Is that what you believe love is about? That if you look pretty enough someone will love you? It's not. Llove isn't about looks or weight or what is external.
Your posts make me ache for you. Life is about so much more that what you are on the outside. What you are on the inside is so much more important.
.
Last edited by PhotoChick; 05-09-2008 at 09:44 PM.
First off...Welcome! And *hugs*...it sounds like you desperately need one.
I feel for you, because I was in a similar situation. Through high school and into my first year or so of college, I was also on the smaller side. Then because of school and boy problems, I ate horribly and racked on the pounds. I didn't realize how much I had gained (it's hard to notice yourself gaining weight, since you see yourself everyday), until one day I was looking through pictures and saw what I USE to look like! I remember thinking "Oh my goodness, I forgot that those pants use to be HUGE on me...but now I can barely button them!" And from that moment on, I got even MORE depressed...and therefore ate horribly...and gained MORE weight. It was just a downward cycle. Luckily though, I realized I deserved to wake up everyday and feel good about myself. I deserved to look at myself in the mirror and not point out all my flaws. I deserved to feel sexier. I deserved to treat myself better by feeding myself better. I deserved to not be depressed and be happy with myself. So I made a change, and I went on South Beach Diet. And that worked wonders for me. And now I feel a lot better. Not just because I lost weight, but because I'm treating myself and my body with a lot more respect than I use to before.
I hope your reason for wanting to change your lifestyle and eating habits is for yourself, and for no one else. You deserve to enjoy your life and your body, and no one else should be influencing you to do anything that would make you think or do otherwise. Also, I hope you don't feel like you don't belong here because "70 pounds isn't much to lose". 1 pound is a lot to lose if that 1 pound is 1 pound you're uncomfortable with!
I'm not trying to preach South Beach to you, and by no means am I saying what I did was right and what you're doing is wrong. I just want to let you know, there are people out there who can empathize with you, and we're here. And we're willing to listen. And we'll be here for you through this whole ordeal. You can come to us when you're sad from a bad day, or when you need to go shopping for a smaller pair of jeans! We can be a great resource, and you should come to us for anything and everything. And I hope you do!
thanx alot for all what u've said
u r words realy mean something to me
i felt that the world is still fine
its hard when we r shocked and in a bad situation and we see that life is so hard .. we find good people that offers their help and try to help us out of our problems and push us forward to meet our goals
Hi Cindy, good foor and exercise is the only healthy way to loose it im afraid....
im reching terretory no i dont ever remember being in before!....
it will take time and hard work, but if your determined enuf you will get there....
i promise to re-organize my schedual and do workouts and find a good diet for me
I agree with photochick. Also, you did NOT make your ex cheat on you! Did you hold a gun to his head and say, "go have sex with someone else"? NO! You did not! Don't feel responsible for his stupidity.
Let's pretend your weightloss did make him cheat on you (which it didn't!). What would he do if you were pregnant and heavy because of the pregnancy? He'd still cheat on you!
I think you are a lovely girl, and I hope you realize that looks don't make a person better or worse. You'll be fine, just take everything we say with a grain of salt. I know we're all throwing a lot of pep talk at you!
Hugs,
chickybird
I know this is easier said than done....but do not let your weight gain determine your self worth. I know it's soooo easy to let it get to you, but in the end overcoming this will be a victorious battle that will make you stronger.
Have faith in yourself as a person and choose something that you know you can stick with. Don't be unrealistic with your goals and keep your head up high. You can do this.
i used to believe that judging a person always depends on his personality and the way he thinks and tearts people
but after my shock i think that something happened to me .. i never thought that i will one day feel that i am nothing in the world
i forgot about everything good about me .. and just start to think about my body and my over weight and pounds
all ur words helped me get a knock in the head and start to think positive this time
i realy need to change
and i believe its time to think wisely regarding diets and workouts
First of all let me say that if he left you because you gained weight, then he didn't deserve you to begin with! Ladies, please let us all embrace this wonderful woman with our love and support. Honey you can lose weight, and we can all help you stay motivated. How about getting yourself back on that healthy food diet you were once on as a belly dancer and join a gym for good exercise? You can do it!! We are here for you! *hugs*
ooh thats so nice of u ... thanx for ur motivation ..
i promise to do my best
and promise to get back to my hobby bellydancing
i'll stick into a good healthy diet
i need my good health and body back
thanx alot i have no doubt about all what u have said
Sweetie I really think you need to go see a counselor. You are so wrapped up in how much it's about looks it makes me sad.
Do you really believe that the only reason he cheated on you is because you gained weight? Seriously? Is that what you believe love is about? That if you look pretty enough someone will love you? It's not. Llove isn't about looks or weight or what is external.
Your posts make me ache for you. Life is about so much more that what you are on the outside. What you are on the inside is so much more important.
.
i tried to see a counselor
but i kept crying all the time that i was saying my story
so i didnt contact him again ..
i dont know what to say
i dont like to let some1 sad because of my story
i came here searching for help for loosing my weight
and i found myself talking about something so emotional to me ..
and what made me talk is ur kindness and extra caring
i know that apearance is not everything
but all guys care about apearance
even if they say they dont ..
this is something natural
i dont care about the way he look
but i still love him
and what is so disapointing that i cant control my feelings ..
I agree with photochick. Also, you did NOT make your ex cheat on you! Did you hold a gun to his head and say, "go have sex with someone else"? NO! You did not! Don't feel responsible for his stupidity.
Let's pretend your weightloss did make him cheat on you (which it didn't!). What would he do if you were pregnant and heavy because of the pregnancy? He'd still cheat on you!
I think you are a lovely girl, and I hope you realize that looks don't make a person better or worse. You'll be fine, just take everything we say with a grain of salt. I know we're all throwing a lot of pep talk at you!
Hugs,
chickybird
i respect what u say
and i accept anything u will say or said
maybe because u r not seeing the problem the way i see it
because im thinking with my heart not brain
thats why i know im wrong
i dont know why i keep comming out with excuses for him
and he hurt me
the only 1 good thing that he did is that he let me decide to lose weight and found all of u friendly kind people here
It's ok to cry. It really is. It's especially ok to cry in front of a counselor - they're used to it.
And I'm sure you still love him. It's hard to end a relationship and harder when you've been cheated on. I've been there. I know. It's one of the most painful things in the world ever. And you *should* cry. You should grieve for a lost relationship and a lost love. It's important to do that and it's healthy!!
Don't beat yourself up for grieving or for still loving him. All of that is ok.
Seriously, I think you should try talking to a counselor again. If you're not comfortable with the one you talked to in the past, try calling another one until you find someone you're comfortable with.
And if you want to talk about it here, then you should. Maybe just letting it all out to us would help - since we're not right there face-to-face with you.
Hang in there. Keep posting here. Keep talking. And I promise it will get better. It really will.
It's ok to cry. It really is. It's especially ok to cry in front of a counselor - they're used to it.
And I'm sure you still love him. It's hard to end a relationship and harder when you've been cheated on. I've been there. I know. It's one of the most painful things in the world ever. And you *should* cry. You should grieve for a lost relationship and a lost love. It's important to do that and it's healthy!!
Don't beat yourself up for grieving or for still loving him. All of that is ok.
Seriously, I think you should try talking to a counselor again. If you're not comfortable with the one you talked to in the past, try calling another one until you find someone you're comfortable with.
And if you want to talk about it here, then you should. Maybe just letting it all out to us would help - since we're not right there face-to-face with you.
Hang in there. Keep posting here. Keep talking. And I promise it will get better. It really will.
.
maybe its a matter of time ..
but i hope it wont be as long as our relation was 8 years ..
regarding a counselor .. i dont know were to find a good trusted one
the previous was ok .. but i dont think that i'll call him back because i told him i'll meet him and then canceled the apointment ..
i will try to amuse myself by taking care about my body walking bellydancing and finding good diet
You've really gotten some great, caring advice already. And I agree wholeheartedly with it.
Do something good for just yourself. Enjoy that walking and belly dancing. Have a sensual bowl of fruit on a lovely spring afternoon. Something good for your body and your mind.
You've really gotten some great, caring advice already. And I agree wholeheartedly with it.
Do something good for just yourself. Enjoy that walking and belly dancing. Have a sensual bowl of fruit on a lovely spring afternoon. Something good for your body and your mind.
