People didn't start commenting until about 60 lbs. lost. From 50-65 lbs. lost, I got a lot of compliments on my shirt, my hair, my makeup, etc.....from all those who couldn't quite put their finger on what was different about me.
I'm going to be completely honest. I don't like telling people who are overweight that they are losing weight. I think it might be embarrassing or uncomfortable for them-- and it sometimes is
If they are average size and they lose a few pounds, i have no problem telling them. But with overweight people, I tend to think they may be offended by me telling them so. Unless I know them well, I keep it to myself.
"Wow you look great? Did you drop a few pounds?"
"What was wrong with me before?"
idk just a fear I have that I think affects more then just me. lol
So people may definitely be noticing but not saying anything because they don't know if they should. Try bringing it up.
"I've been exercising and eating healthy lately"
"Really? Omg i totally notice you dropped a lot of weight"
I know from experience. I dropped 30 pounds and was underweight and no one said anything lol
Last edited by sweetlovin; 04-08-2008 at 09:44 PM.
I didn't get a comment from anyone until 70+ lbs had been dropped. I didn't even notice a difference (I barely do now) so I can see why no one else would. I don't really mind, though. The little things... like needing some new pants... always keeps me goin'!
Would you walk up to one of your coworkers and ask if they've been losing weight or make a comment on it?
I would, I think everyone deserves some credit for their hard work. My friend gained 20 lbs and I didn't even notice, I think when you are really big it's a lot less noticable when someone puts or takes off weight.
Yea...but I would only do it if I knew FOR SURE that someone had lost weight (i.e., when it's really obvious). I've had people ask me in the past if I'm losing weight, mostly when I wear a new piece of clothing and it always made me feel like a loser to say, "Nope, must be the skirt..."
So people probably are noticing but are being respectful.
Look at recent threads on other parts of the boards. There is one going on right now that is something about " how do you feel when other people comment" and the vast majority of people answering said "I hate it" ...! The answers range from "what? was I that fat and ugly before?" to "why do they think it's appropriate to make such personal comments".
And then we have a post like this where someone says "why doesn't anyone say anything??????"
It's funny to me because it highlights how much we personalize the things people say to us ... how we interpret them through our own filters ... and how everyone is damned if they do and damned if they don't.
There's a line in A Fish Called Wanda where John Cleese says:
The British - we never ask "how are the wife and kids?" because we're terrified to hear "the wife left me and the kids died in a fire last week"?
I think it's even more true of us here in America. At this point anyone is afraid to say anything to anyone - because of how it might be interpreted. Because it's not "PC" enough. Because everyone wants to find insult in everything anymore.
If you say "wow, you look great. have you lost weight?" you're an insensitive clod who is implying that the person looked like crap before and was a fat slob.
If you don't say anything, you're an insensitive clod who doesn't even acknolwedge the progress and struggle that someone has gone through to make themselves healthier and look better.
Whoa. NO wonder people are afraid to say anything. Because nothing they say is right and everything they do is wrong. Do I compliment my co-worker on her weight loss or do I keep my mouth shut? Discretion is the better part of valor and all that ... so I keep my mouth shut. And I'm still wrong.
It's funny. In a really sad sort of way.
I wish we'd all just learn to take what is said or not said at face value and quit trying to make it all into some hidden agenda. It would make life so much easier from both sides.
.
Last edited by PhotoChick; 04-09-2008 at 12:39 AM.
do you live in a cold climate? I dropped 50 pounds before my coworkers noticed. Now that It's warming up I've dropped the leggings and layers and layers .... and actually bought some new tops.
No one had said ANYTHING to me about it and within a week of 40 degree weather every single woman I work with (only one of the guys heh) had come to me and complimented me and asked me how.
Now It's totally annoying. I feel like my butt is being watched for changes everyday heh.
"I think it's even more true of us here in America. At this point anyone is afraid to say anything to anyone - because of how it might be interpreted. Because it's not "PC" enough. Because everyone wants to find insult in everything anymore."
Photochick-GREAT wording there. It is 100% true nowdays, in EVERY situation that you can imagine.
Some people I think notice, but don't want to say anything...and sometimes, I think people are just so into their selves and own lives/thoughts, that they don't pay that much attention. After my first child, when I lost part of the weight from having her, someone noticed my new haircut at the time, and said that it "made my face look thinner". I told them that it probably wasn't the haircut...but the 40 pounds.
My girl friend is still dropping hints about my going to Weight Watchers with her. She lost 50 lbs and is keeping it off, but she hasn't noticed my 35lb loss. I guess because she sees me a few times a week and I haven't said anything about it.
My MIL and both DILs have mentioned that I have lost weight. No one else.
I had lsot 29lbs and wore a new outfit to my brother wedding and a family member told me the outfit I chose was slimming on me. She said i needed to choose more outfits made that style so i didnt look as fat. I walked away and didnt say (its not the outfit that is slimming it ME). I cant wait to see her again in a few months.
debi
Welllll..... when I lose or gain weight, it is really easy to tell. It shows in my FACE.
I think a lot of people just don't notice stuff into it really slaps them in the face. I once lost 35 pounds, & EVERYBODY I worked with was complimenting me on my hard work & blahblahblah. But this ONE GUY... OMG... one day he came into the office & looked at me point blank & said... "You look different. Have you lost weight?" I said, "Yes Bob." He said "Really? How much?" I said "About 35 pounds, Bob." He said "Well, you'd think I'd notice something like that."
Then there are people like me... people who notice if your shoe is untied. If you have a zit. If your bra-strap is showing. IF YOU'VE LOST 10 POUNDS. I am a noticer. I notice everything. But like it has already been mentioned, some people just don't take others opinions very well.... even if they're complimentary. So when it comes to weight, it's a touchy subject. I have to have a good acquaintance level with a person before I'd dare compliment them on some as personal as THEIR BODY.
As for myself, when people notice & speak up about my weight loss, I now simply reply "Thank you! I've been working really hard at it!"
