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Old 03-24-2008, 07:37 PM   #1
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Default How does having a (in person) work out buddy work for you?

Being new to this site and my new way of life in general (currently celebrating day #6) I have a slew of philosophical weight loss questions in my mind. The most prudent is regarding work out buddies.

I am someone who has failed in conjunction with sharing the weight loss journey with a friend. We had each other to work out with, but we also had each other to cheat and give up with. We were not committed enough, but loving each other as much as we did caused us to give up and not reach for our goals.

We failed in our devotion to work outs as we would too often treat ourselves to eating out a our favorite restaurant and patting ourselves on the back for being honest, loving women and terrific mothers. Who cares if we were chubby? We were chubby together. That is all that mattered to us.

So, I would love to hear tales of yours regarding work out buddies.
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Old 03-24-2008, 07:41 PM   #2
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I love that you're celebrating your days!

I'm no good at the work-out/diet buddy scenario. I actually had a different problem, though. I chose to change my life. I can't be constantly looking after someone else's. The friend who had been going to WW with me for awhile decided to quit. Well... I can't quit. Quitting isn't an option. *shrug* I like doing my own thing, I don't like waiting for people, or having to talk to them while I'm concentrating on working out. And I don't like the temptation that they sometimes bring with them if they aren't as committed as I am.

I like my friends, but I need to do this for me.
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Old 03-24-2008, 08:24 PM   #3
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I'm not good with workout buddies either.

However, I enjoy doing healthier things with my friends. Rather than go out to lunch or margaritas why not have a walk? Last week when a close girly came over rather than chill on the back patio with wine we moved the exercise equipment outside, talked and laughed about how we felt we were on a workout video.

My friends are all into health and well-being, but aren't 100% committed right now. I share my victories and setbacks with them, but don't depend on their motivation for my success.

In the past with a workout buddy if their baby was sick that was a good enough excuse for me not to go either.
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Old 03-24-2008, 08:38 PM   #4
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For me, it's not so much about having other people hold me back, I just get self-conscious when I work out with people there. The only people that have ever "seen" me work out are my brothers, and I put "seen" in quotes because they're usually too busy paying attention to the videogames than me huffing and puffing on the treadmill! And even then, I usually get my exercise done in the morning before they wake up or after school before they come home from THEIR school haha.

I can't even bear the thought of joining a gym where strangers can see me, much less a friend of mine seeing me red as a tomato and jiggling all over the place. However, Faerie and fatbaby do bring up excellent points. I can definitely see me trying to conform to a friend's quitting just because I'll feel bad because I'll feel like I'm rubbing it in their face that I keep going. Weird, I know, but I never said my thought process was entirely normal... haha. Anyway, just like Faerie said, you also have to remember you're doing this for you, not a workout buddy.

Best of luck!!
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Old 03-24-2008, 08:55 PM   #5
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When I first started working out, my SO was my workout buddy. It worked out (oops, pardon the pun ) well. In fact, it was key to getting me into the gym. I was terrified of the gym and I don't think I ever would have gotten up the courage to go on my own. Having him with me for that first day was so important.

But we didn't really work out together for long. I immediately hired a personal trainer; my SO would go with me to the gym and work out on his own while I worked out with my trainer. For a while, my SO would also go in with me on the weekends and we would ride stationary bikes together. It was nice to have someone to work out with, but I quickly decided I wanted to use other equipment (I've never felt like I get a good workout from the stationary bike). So we would go to the gym together but do separate workouts. Then my SO stopped going to the gym altogether and I started going more. Now my workout buddies are my personal trainer (the perfect workout buddy ) and my iPod when I'm not working out with my trainer.

It would be nice to have someone to do cardio with or to take classes with, but none of my friends really live close enough for us to work out together. And, my iPod is perfectly companionable.

It is interesting that you say that you didn't care if you were chubby because you were chubby together. There is a study that says that if your friends are overweight, you are likely to be overweight as well, and that is one of the reasons. (Also, if your friends work out and eat healthy, that makes you feel like should do the same; vice versa if they don't.)
- Barbara

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"Life has hills. Set the treadmill at an incline."
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Old 03-24-2008, 09:47 PM   #6
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Thanks for the replies. Yeah, I am so doing this for me. My intent was to not tell my family, but I had to inform the skinny minnnies that Mom was no longer eating dinner in front of the tv, and I would not be eating snacks in front of it either.
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Old 03-24-2008, 09:53 PM   #7
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Me and one of my housemates are weight loss buddies.

We go for power walks together, do exercise DVDs together, we sometimes cook meals for each other and we only really talk to each other about our weight loss efforts. I think it's absolutely great that I have someone who is as committed to their journey as I am to mine to help me along.

It's great that we encourage each other but it only works because we both want to get healthy and slim so badly. Our other housemate started with us but after like 2 weeks gave up.
SO what I'm saying is, anyone who has a work out buddy needs to ensure that if your buddy stops you don't stop. You have to hope that he/she is as committed as you are. Then it can be great fun and encouraging to have someone to share the journey with!
Look! My Before and During Pics!

When I get to 140 I will reassess my goal (I want to get to 140 by 28th March 2012)
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Old 03-24-2008, 09:58 PM   #8
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It seems to be a common "game that women play." I've seen friends of mine get together to lose weight, and do the same thing--the next thing you know, they're out at a restaurant giggling together while eating 1200 calories. Each. It's like they give each other permission to give up and go off plan.

So one important thing is to be really clear about what you are doing, whether it's with a buddy or two, or by yourself. Ultimately, it's your body!

Hang in there! You can do it!

"My religion is kindness." --His Holiness the Dalai Lama

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Old 03-24-2008, 10:46 PM   #9
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I work out in two main ways, the gym and swimming. I find a gym buddy doesn't work for me, I don't work out as hard or as long. I do find the motivation of having other people around me amazing, I use them as inspiration. I use to feel like people were looking at me and thinking all these terrible things but then I realised that *I* wasn't thinking that about *other* people, so why would people think that about me? After that I found the gym a lot more fun, I am still conscious of the people around me but this pushes me and its positive.

For swimming I have a buddy and it makes me work harder. Swimming is very solitary so its not about encouraging, its more that she is a better swimmer than me so she will swim for longer which makes me go further. The days I don't swim with her I never swim as far. And also because she is over weight there is the moral support of the two of us in our bathing suits (that was important when I first started swimming, much less so now but I still have moments where I think I just don't want to get out of the pool because people are going to see me without the clothes to hide behind!!).

Most important buddy I have though is my mp3 player! I even have one for in the pool because music makes me move it baby!!
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Old 03-25-2008, 09:26 AM   #10
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I can't stand working out with someone. I like to workout at my own pace and don't like someone "encouraging" me. I find that encouragement is really irritating and makes me want to just stop exercising.

I like my music and my chosen exercise. That's it!

I do like doing weights and stretching and yoga with my 5 & 3 year old though. That's fun!
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Old 03-25-2008, 09:56 AM   #11
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My best friend is my part time workout buddy. I do my morning routine every day at my gym. She scoffs at getting there at 5 am. Hehe. But then in the evenings and on the weekends, we usually hike or go to the other gym (I'm a nut with two! gym memberships...) together. It gets me moving at night because I look forward to hanging out with her, and it motivates her also. Some days I end up working out for 3 hours because of the arrangement, but it's worth it to see my friend and motivate her!

My bf is planning to go with me early in the morning when he changes jobs and is able to. I am happy of course, but a little worried I'll be self conscious exercising in front of him. I like it when he comes to my races because he only sees me at the beginning and end!
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Old 03-25-2008, 09:59 AM   #12
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I used to think that having a workout buddy would be great, but I push myself more when I am working out on my own. I get more self concious when I excercise with other people. I used to go to a gym here, but it got to the point of where it was always busy and I was spending more time waiting for the machines to come available and then a that point I lost interest in excercising.
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Old 03-25-2008, 12:54 PM   #13
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20 years ago I had tried working out with some gals from work... They stopped after 2 weeks I continued... I felt out of place at first but then I was good to go ... Then I met a girl at the gym and we were there at the same time every time we went so we started working out together, that worked out VERY well for a couple of years, until she got married and had kids yadda, yadda, yadda ... Over the years I've met some girls at the gym that are as serious as I am, if and when we happen to arrive at the gym at the same time we workout together... and I like this a lot... But generally speaking I rely on MYSELF to workout...

Oh, I also was part of a running group for 2 years, but even that fizzled out after a while...
I l e n e
Falling down is not failure....Failure is staying down.

Last edited by Ilene; 03-25-2008 at 12:54 PM.
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Old 03-25-2008, 01:33 PM   #14
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I think the question has been answered. It's nice to have a workout buddy, but, ultimateally, it's up to you. Other people come and go and you have to be motivated enough to continue. I walk, outside when it's warm enough, on the treadmill in the winter. It's great to walk outside with someone, but only if they walk the same speed you do. I was walking with someone and they really made me slow down a lot. I wasn't getting the workout I needed, or wanted.
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Old 03-25-2008, 07:26 PM   #15
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Again, thanks for the replies. From what you all have said, I am in no way setting up for failure if I don't have a buddy to work out with. That was probably why the dilemma kept popping into my thoughts.

Once I am a power walker who is not huffing and puffing, I have a friend who is in perfect shape who walks nightly. So, I will walk with her every few days. Other than that, I don't think I will seek anyone out.

The friend I failed with is currently doing a weight loss program, but we are no longer friends. But we are still in each other's lives due to other connections...but that is a story for the Dr. Phil website!! LOL
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