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Old 03-13-2008, 11:24 AM   #31
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I didn't just say it only to make a point. I do think Mother Theresa would have said it herself. If not toward others, then definitely toward herself. As a Catholic, when she made confession, she had to confess to something, right? There's much been made of her admission of her struggles with faith (used by atheists to prove she was an atheist, which is ridiculous to me), but to me it shows nothing but that she was a human being, with many of the same struggles as the rest of us.

As a Lutheran Christian, raised Roman Catholic (I converted before marriage, as my husband and I felt it important to be of the same faith, and he was more committed to his denomination that I was to mine). The core doctrine is the same, only Christ was sinless, so no matter how saintly, even the best among us struggle with our darker nature. I think the biggest difference is that the best among us, don't dwell or wallow in the darkness. So yes, I believe Mother Theresa had uncharitable, even dark thoughts, but unlike most of us, she chased them away much more quickly.
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Old 03-13-2008, 01:42 PM   #32
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As a Catholic, when she made confession, she had to confess to something, right? There's much been made of her admission of her struggles with faith (used by atheists to prove she was an atheist, which is ridiculous to me), but to me it shows nothing but that she was a human being, with many of the same struggles as the rest of us. So yes, I believe Mother Theresa had uncharitable, even dark thoughts, but unlike most of us, she chased them away much more quickly.

I believe that when Mother Teresa went to confession her sins were those of humility, doubt, lonliness, temptation to lead an easier life, etc. But uncharitable thoughts towards others? I guess we all believe what we choose.

I'm not going to respond to this subject anymore; I'm sure it will get booted. Just want to remind everyone that religion and politics are not good references on this particular board because of so very many different beliefs.
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Old 03-13-2008, 08:35 PM   #33
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You are absolutely right. The specific reference, particularly a religious one, was unnecessary and easily misunderstood. My point (without religious references) was that we all, every single entirely human person who lives or has ever lived on the planet, has made mistakes and has had unwelcome thoughts. The exact nature, number, duration and frequency of those unwelcome thoughts was not intended to be the issue.

I think it's important to realize that while the fleeting negative thought is normal it doesn't have to, and shouldn't affect our behavior and beliefs about ourself and others. The first few seconds of a mean-spirited, or less than generous thought is the smallest part of the mistake. What often makes it a bigger error, is dwelling on it, believing it truly reflects what we are or what we believe about ourselves and others. When a thought like this occurs, we need to acknowledge it, recognize it as false, remind ourselves of the truth and move on.
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Old 03-14-2008, 04:25 AM   #34
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I wouldn't blame anyone for feeling jealous. I have feelings I'm less than proud of, that I work to challenge in myself and expunge. But I'd like to put in a word for those of us whose starting weights were not what others would consider fat.
I'm 5"3 and of extremely small bone structure from a Western perspective (I'm half Asian and take after that side of my family, on which some of the women are absolutely tiny). Thus, even though my highest weight would only have put me in the 'overweight' category for my height, I had waaay too much body fat, was terribly unfit - couldn't even walk up the stairs without getting out of breath! - felt awful in all my clothes, looked fat next to my friends, etc. I really think we need to remember that numbers are not always a good measure of the amount of fat a person is carrying. When my mother was young she weight 7lbs more than I do now, at the same height, and looked positively skinny, whereas I look healthy and eat a *lot* more than she could to maintain that weight.
Also - and this something I tended to forget - slim people have problems too!
That said, I agree that everybody has uncharitable thoughts. I certainly do! The important thing is to challenge them before they become attitudes or actions.
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Old 03-14-2008, 11:35 AM   #35
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Wherever we are starting from; wherever we are right now; wherever we will finally get to -- the only thing of which I'm certain is -- we are all in this together.

Keep up the great work everybody.
You're going to make me cry! This is why I keep coming back here. And thanks to everyone for the responses, it helps to see other peoples' perspectives on all of these issues. I feel all warm and fuzzy now... Mother Theresa or not
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Old 03-14-2008, 11:46 AM   #36
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I cant' even look. I'm old and I'm short and I'm very very very fat.

my goal is well beyond what even a doctor would call fat. i'll still by the book be FAT IF i ever get to my goal.

but it will be a doable weight for me for my life.... isn't LIVING and being healthy and HAPPY way more important than being a size 2? It is for me.
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Old 03-14-2008, 01:05 PM   #37
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Agreed---- I just don't let it get to me. I've got a big frame... Iv'e got years of "being fat" behind me.

Maybe some of these women have ALWAYS been thin, and that's what they're used to, so it's easier for them to make a goal of getting back there?

I tell ya--- I'm 6'1"... my goal is really ULTIMATELY 200 pounds. I don't really have aspirations of being in Onederland any time... maybe when I get to 200 it will still be easy and I can keep doing what I'm doing and still lose weight...

According to the dreaded weight charts, my HIGHEST healthy weight is 180... No way! I got to 215 and I was a size 14... if I could get to 200 that would probably make me a 12, something I would be VERY VERY happy with.

Yet there was a girl on here (don't see her that often lately) who was 5'11", very close to my height, and her goal (and maintaining) weight was like 150... I couldn't IMAGINE... then again, she said her body fat % was like nonexistent...

Everyone's goals are different--- who knows, when you get close to goal. maybe you'll realize you can keep going and you never thought you would have been able to before. Maybe, right?

One day at a time. That's my mantra. One day, one week, one weigh-in at a time...
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Old 03-14-2008, 05:20 PM   #38
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I think it's also important to remember that goals can change (for any of us). Some of us will come to realize that we've set an unrealistic goal and have to change our expectations. Others will reach their goal, and realize they want to lose more. There's no law that states we can't have more than one goal either, and possibly plan a period of maintenance after each, before heading on to the next goal.
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Old 03-14-2008, 05:33 PM   #39
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I've felt the same way sometimes. I've noticed that I'll also see someone who is starting at a heavier weight than I and think "Wow, she's got way further to go than I have and she's staying positive and not quitting. I can do this too!" It's all a matter of perspective.
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Old 03-14-2008, 05:41 PM   #40
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Don't compare yourself to others. We are all different. You are the only one who knows how you look and feel at a certain weight. Do what is best for you and let others do the same.
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Old 03-14-2008, 05:52 PM   #41
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I agree that we are all different heights and weights and shapes even and while our goal are different we all feel the same about needing to lose weight.

Here's my problem...I am about 5'3 3/4 and weight 169.5 lbs. While that is over weight for my height, it really wouldn't be that bad if I were well toned and if it were spread all over my body. My biggest issue is that most of those extra pounds are on my back, midriff and abdomen. The midriff is the WORST part because it makes it very difficult to buy clothes to fit. If I find pants that fit my slender legs, they won't go around my waist unless it is an elastic band and even then not always. If I buy some that will go around waist, the legs are so huge on me I feel like a clown, Tailoring gets expensive and can only do so much. The lower rise pants have been a God send to me in a way but with my belly hanging over they sure don't look so good.

Dresses, now that's a whole nother story...it is pretty much impossible to find a dress that fits. If I can find any dress that fits me around my back and waist, then it is huge everywhere else. I feel I'd rather be big all over than this way! My mom used to say at least I could hide my fat with a jacket (she was pear shaped) but what about in the summer?

Carrying so much weight on my midriff is more unhealthy too and I am more apt to develop health issues. I already have diabetes and my doctor says it is very important for me to lose weight. He wants me down to 145 at least. So I may not be morbidly obese or even obese by many people's standards, but my weight is definitely a serious issue for me.

I guess my point is that no matter our weight and shape we all see our problem as terrible and our goals are pretty much the same...to be healthier, to look better and to be able to find clothes that fit better.
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Old 03-14-2008, 06:03 PM   #42
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Smile We are all different!

Each of us is on our own journey, and measure our accomplishments in different ways! The nice thing about the message boards is there is something for everyone. What works for some may not work for others, but we can listen and take what we want, make it ours, and toss the rest away...The challenge is to be supportive and non-judgemental.

You can't judge your journey or progress by anyone else's, or even compare. Enjoy the fact that you are doing so well! Congratulate others on their accomplishments! Support people who are going through difficult times. Offer prayer for those who ask for it...

Come on chickies...we can do this!! Beth
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