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Old 03-03-2008, 07:50 AM   #1  
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Default A Little Help? A Few Nice Words?

My parents were in town this weekend, and that's never a good thing for me. It's a good thing that it was only a two-day trip for them. I had had a good week, but then Friday night we drank a little and ate out at Chili's. I couldn't resist the french fries. Saturday is my weigh-in day, and the scale said i GAINED two pounds! I had expected to lose at least two, even with the one meal of greasy, high-calorie stuff. I'm hoping I was just retaining water from the extra salt, but then of course all day Saturday and yesterday I ate all the crap they brought into my house--leftover sausage omlette from breakfast, raspberry pie, hashbrowns, girlscout cookies, white wine, wine coolers, gin and tonics, fettuccine alfredo. I'm getting sick just writing it all down, but I think honesty is important.

I love my parents, and I love seeing them, but they're such a bad influence on the way I eat! It's no surprise why I ended up at 242 lbs in the first place the way they eat huge quantities of crappy food and then talk about their daughters' weights only in their absence. They were talking about one of my high school friends, Amanda, for a while on Friday night. Now my little sister Kimberly is overweight and has a lot of the same issues that I do, except she still lives with my parents. My dad made a comment like, "Well, we know how much Kimi weighs, and Amanda is a lot heavier than her, so she's got to be 330 or 350."

For some reason this really bothered me. I'm protective of both my friends and my little sister, and even though what my dad said was probably the truth, I know he doesn't understand what it's like to be big and have an eating disorder with clinical depression. He is ignorant and hurtful about these things.

So yeah, one meal of grease and salt and I gained two pounds for the week. Then I proceeded to eat alone, secretly, and with abandon for two more days. I need to get back on track now! I need to eat yogurt and vegetable soup and all the things that I know make me feel good, mentally and physically.
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Old 03-03-2008, 08:13 AM   #2  
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Put the foods down now!

That "gain" you saw was probably retention & salt from the night before. Actually gaining two pounds is NOT going to make you feel better.

I have every bit of faith in you that today you'll put the past behind you and start anew.
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Old 03-03-2008, 08:57 AM   #3  
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Ack, I just experienced the same 'worked hard at it all wk, had one slip up, and the scale didn't budge so I ate off plan for a day out of frustration' week too. See, that's why we come here -- to get reassured that everyone is pretty much in the same boat at one time or another. Misery loves company!

Let's get back OP right this second, 'k? There will be no sausage anything, no booze, no M&Ms, no cheese puffs -- none of that nonsense. Sometimes I get so furious at the fat on me that I just get determined to 'show it' that it will not win this time. You 'n me and everyone else here can do this.
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Old 03-03-2008, 12:22 PM   #4  
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I know it's really hard sometimes to get back on track after a binge, especially if you're an "all or nothing" perfectionist. I think just by fessing up and posting here that you are helping yourself get past the slip-up.

When I lost a lot of weight several years ago, one of the hardest things for me to do was NOT eat meals or goodies from my mom or other people I cared about. It was like if I rejected their food, I was somehow rejecting them and all the love/care they put into preparing something for me. I've been like this since I can remember: in grade school, I always made sure to eat everything in my lunch box my mom packed for me, or I thought it would hurt her feelings! Crazy, I know, but part of me still thinks that way.

What I had/have to do is remind myself that I'm not rejecting them or their love for me, but I am rejecting being fat! It was hard at first not to eat what was offered, but I got used to it. Yes, I would occasionally eat something off-plan, but I would make sure to compensate for it the next day or so by eating a little less, and/or exercising a little more.

KendraLynn -- just keep going, and don't write off all your efforts because of one lousy meal, day, or weekend!
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