I wish I could see myself through unbiased eyes; every time I think I'm examining myself honestly, I get different results. Sometimes, I look at myself in the mirror, and I'm astounded because I'm much skinnier than I expect (I don't recognize myself). Others, I look in the mirror, and am surprised because I see myself as even bigger than I was 36 lb ago -- which can't be accurate, unless my scales/measuring tapes/clothing have all been lying to me. (Or maybe I was in denial 36 lb ago, and am now seeing accurately?) I can't seem to reconcile the two into a happy medium, and I have no idea which one is closer to the real me.

It would be nice to have this little mental disparity sorted out by the time I reach my goal weight, so that I can decide what to do when I get there (maintain or keep pushing). It's rather important that my self-image is accurate so I don't make the wrong decision, right?

Anyone have any words of wisdom, or even just a "yeah, I get that too?"

Thanks, everyone!

My problem comes from what i see in the mirror compared to what i see in pictures. When i look in the mirror, i think i look pretty darn good (with clothes on that is!!!). But then when i see a picture, i think i look like a blimp still. Now, when i compare a picture of before and now, i can see the difference. But just in a picture of me now....cow!!! Fortunately, I know how i want my body to look when I don't have clothes on or at least in a bathing suit, so I know I still got a ways to go. At least to 130...if not 120. But yeah....I know what you mean. I totally understand!!! Good luck!!

I hear you.

I think that woman who have grown up in the last 2 or 3 generations have had a very difficult time with body image and what their correct weight is. We're constantly being told we shouldn't look like the models nor should we have a BMI of 18, but that's all we see. A picture is worth 1000 words.

Yeah, I'm the same way Sometimes I think "Wow my big tummy is gone!" when I'm looking in a mirror and other times, when I'm just sitting around I realize I still have those "folds" in my stomach and then I feel just as horrible as I did 50 pounds ago.

The last time I lost weight and reached goal I had this same problem. With time, it does go away so don't get too discouraged!

Ummm, yeah..... I get that too.

Sometimes I seem soooo much smaller then I used to be and other times like not much has changed at all. It's VERY weird. I have no words of wisdom for you. I truly wish I could see what others see when they look at me. I get all sorts of comments and compliments, but I wish I could just SEE what they're seeing. I even ask my daughters all the time if I am thinner or heavier then so and so just to get an idea of what I look like. You'd think the mirror would be enough - but it's not.

I'm hoping that in time, it won't be such an issue for me. That I'll just be ME and whatever that is - it is. Who knows?

Your post jogged me memory (and I may have hubby start doing this with me again)

When I was still living at home, I would have my younger sister take a photo of me every month with the instant camera, when I was on Nutrasystem. I not only wore the same knit capris and t-shirt (tucked in!), I had two masking tape lines on the floor. One for me to stand at, and the other for my sister with the camera.

She'd take two shots. One head on, and one sideways. I'd write the date and weight on the bottom of the photo in permanent marker

My "mug shots" really helped me (and my family) see the progress I was making. Looking in the mirror, or for my family seeing me every day, made it impossible to see weight loss. After all, I didn't look any different today than I did yesterday, and so the change was too gradual for myself and people who saw me day to day to notice.

If you have anyone who can help you with this (or a camera with a timer), you might consider something like this. It really gives you a different perspective on what you "really" look like.

I am the same way. Sometimes I look in the mirror and think - hey, not bad. Other times I look really, really fat. Same mirror, same clothes. Wierd.

Like the photo idea, Kaplods.

I was thinking the same thing. I still see myself as fat, when I know I am not. I am finally in a healthy BMI and I can wear a size 5/6 now but I always look at other girls and think, man she looks better than me, when really we probably are the same size. Not sure how to stop this either.

OMG I thought I was the only one that felt this way. I thought maybe I had body dismorphic disorder or something. I can not seem to get a clear picture of what I look like. I ask my sister all the time to point out people who look like they are the same size as me, because I just can't tell what I look like. I so want to just look "normal" size.

I'm really starting to hate it when people call me "skinny", because I'm not!! I still need to lose at least 50 more pounds. People say, "What? 50 pounds! No way! You only need to lose like 10 pounds!" and I'm thinking, "What? Have you lost your mind?" I think maybe it's just the drastic change in my appearance and they are probably trying to be nice and supportive.

I've also started to realize that your weight really isn't a good reflection of how you look. Some of my friends have told me what they weigh, and I've been so surprised because I thought for sure I weighed more than they did, and I was 20 pounds less!! The same thing with pant sizes. Girls I thought for sure were wearing a smaller size than me weren't. It's just so weird that we can't see what others see.

I know I look a lot better, but I'd still like to improve. A size 4 is my dream!!

I am so blind and have completely ignored my weight gains and now I can barely look at myself anymore. I wonder how my DH possibly can stand looking at me. He is so supportive but I don't take advantage of this support.
The mirror is not my friend and I have been blind. So, it is time for me to wake up

We just bought a full-length mirror. I've been doing some sewing, and needed it. I looked head on, and thought "ok, not horrifying." In fact, I thought the skirt I had made was quite flattering, then I turned sidewise, and nearly passed out! Yikes! I didn't ever remember "most" of my weight being in the trunk before. What is really silly is I always thought I looked better sideways than head on (and from the waist up, which I can see in my regular mirror and public restroom mirrors, it might even be true). But, wowza I never realized I had such a big butt (now I'm afraid to have hubby take those polaroids LOL!)

I think it must be an epidemic! lol but seriously I think some of it is related to hormones, I noticed that even at my heaviest weight if it was just after TOM I could walk up to a mirror see that I was OW but still think I was "sexy fat". I would even sometimes think that I shouldn't worry so much and just not gain more. Then a week or two later I would be dressing in the bathroom and such to avoid my hubby seeing my fat body! It is hard that is for sure.

I know what you mean skinijeni I get that all the time with my height weight I guess I don't look like I need to lose 50 pounds. Its like hello can't you tell, people guess my weight at 160 all the time and will seriously not believe me if I say what it really is, lots of people have been shocked cause they thought I weighed what they did!

I am just gonna try to think positive thoughts as much as I can and go for health, if I decided 150 is healthier then doesn't matter if there are skinnier people out there that is my perfect weight.

Dance Naked!

Yep, I said dance naked. It's a great treatment for body anxiety. If you have someone to dance naked for, great! Though if you're very self-conscious, or if you don't have someone to dance for, dance alone (naked though, that's the important part, start in undies if you have to, but the goal is naked). For beginner and intermediate naked dancers, I would suggest avoiding a mirror while you do so (I still have not achieved the advanced level of this sport, so while I dance for hubby, I can't face the mirror).

The first time I did this, I was in bra and panties, and it was a "joke," I expected hubby to laugh, not be awestruck (in a good way, not in caught sight of the medusa and turned to stone kind of way). Now I do it alot, as a joke, as a turn on for hubby, or even just for fun. It's great exercise, even if you do feel you have to wear clothes.

At my current weight (and higher) you might ask how hubby (not a fat-fetishist at heart) could be turned on by THAT. I know I did! And he said, "no woman has ever danced for me, before, it was beautiful." Ok, he's not only delusional, he's wonderfully romantic as well. Gonna keep him!

In all seriousness though, I think the more we avoid things that might reveal accidentally or intentionally reveal our least loved parts, the more we limit our lives. Swimming, horseback riding, bicycling, dancing (naked or not) are wonderful things, and we shouldn't give up on the pleasure (and mental and physical health) they bring just because of how we look (or imagine we look) doing them.

And as Forest Gump would say, "and that's all I have to say about that."

I totally get this. I've only lost about 6 pounds so far, so there really isn't much of a difference in my body yet. But some days I look in the mirror and think I look good, and really like my curves. Other day, I want to cry!