Like everyone else is saying...those girls are not very friendly..You need to surround yourself with motivating and accepting people. Hanging out with these girls is a form of self abuse, they don't mean you any good. It's time to upgrade...Take it from someone who's been the fat friend for most of her life. Good luck

Yup... cut 'em loose... They are dragging you down... They will sabotage your efforts... Avoid them, don't take their calls, find new friends, new things to do! :yes: Friends don't treat friends like that. You've become their punching bag.

Jay

I know you're all right. The problem is that I'm also the pushover of the group.. the same girl can get me to do her chores even when I say I wont and I don't know why I give into her when I hate her so much. She's also been my friend for almost 8 years... how am I supposted to cut off a friendship (or I guess "friendship") like that? The other one on the hand is actually pretty nice... hardly do I hear anything from her and I actually hear positive things rom her unlike the other.

Katrina... I think I just may use some of those lol. They are hilarious. I've always wanted to say something to her but I wanted to try to set an example to her and never say anything bad about her... she doesn't ever seem to get catch on to this, though. This will be fun :) Thanks

I agree with the other posters, real friends may tease, but they don't hurt. My best friend and I tease each other all the time - she's 4'11" and I'm 5'7" so there are lots and lots of height jokes (both ways), but I would never EVER say anything to hurt her.

That girl isn't your friend. High school is a tough time, it does get better when you get older. There is still the occasional rude person (most often just thoughtless) but most people aren't deliberately hurtful.

I do have to say that elmuyloco5 had some seriously funny responses. I wish I had been that witty in high school (I had a terrible overbite - which my real friends NEVER mentioned. Can't say the same for some of the other neanderthals I went to high school with).

You are about where I was in high school, I weighed around 145 lbs, I was a size 14 (of course, with vanity sizing, I was probably a size 10 in today's sizes). So many high school girls are little bean poles, just tiny tiny straight up and down because their bodies haven't started becoming womanly. Those of us who start to get womanly curves early feel overweight, but we really aren't. Your height will probably catch up to your weight and you will be even more gorgeous.

The most important thing you can do in high school is establish good eating habits. Limiting fast food, junk and soda, trying to eat more fruits and vegetables. Pick whole grains when possible. Learn about portion sizes. Read labels. Take advantage of the opportunities for sports - learn to love exercise!

It isn't a friendship. She thinks you're a big joke. She really enjoys being able to say mean, hurtful things without getting anything back. She picked you because you won't hit back!

Like I said, don't take the calls. Don't go shopping with them. Say you're sick, say you have to stay home, say you've got your period... OR, you could be really honest and say "I don't want to go shopping with you, so I'm not going. You'll have to find someone else to make fun of." And then hang up the phone! The point isn't to get her to change, 'cause she won't. The point is to get away from her.

Jay

Cassie,

Simply stated, these beyatches are NOT your friends. They are abusing you, and you're allowing them to get away with it.

I'm a little scared for you, because I can see you in a few years talking about a guy you're dating, saying, "He hits me, but it's because I deserve it."

That may sound harsh, but you sound like you have some pretty serious self-esteem issues.

Please know that this behavior from these girls is not the normal way friends interact. It's the way abusive bullies treat their victims.

You have the power in you to change your situation. Believe in yourself as a valuable, lovable, considerate person, and quit putting up with this BS. You have a right to say that your feelings are being hurt and that this behavior is unacceptable.

Find some groups at school or some activities out of school to make new friends. You may also want to talk to your parents and ask if they can help you find a counselor to talk to - you may have some issues that you're not aware of that that are allowing you to accept this behavior from people you think are "friends."

Good luck and don't put up with the BS! :club:

You have gotten great advice from everyone. I am sorry you are having such are hard time right now. High school is difficult. I still remember it and I am almost 65 years old.

I agree with everybody else but I know how hard it is because I did it. What I did was started to spend more time with people I really liked and then kind of transitioned with no real fuss.

You do chores for her? I think you know what you need to do.

I know you have been friends with her for years..but she is using you..to make herself feel better because SHE is insecure about herself for some reason.

I was part of then "in" crowd in highschool....We were all size 7's and so however LOL (weird I know, maybe a southern thing?) I had this one friend..we had been friends since 6th grade. We'll call her Bee Bee. All she did was pick on me, humiliate me in front of our other friends..about flaws she had herself as well(such as thick eyebrows, or the dreaded chickstache) I remember one day Bee Bee came home with me after school and she talked me into letting her pluck my eyebrows. She plucked them so far I had about a 3 inch gap between them, and one of them was crooked. I cried and cried, and wore my hair over my face for weeks at school til they grew back. And I also stopped being BeBe's friend after that. I just stopped talking to her as much. When she said something negative, I just ignored her. I didn't laugh it off, I didn't snap back. My other, non hateful friends in the group still were my friends. In fact, Bee Bee and I both considered a certain other girl to be both of our's best friend, and that friend didn't pick sides. She remained friends with both of us. Just break off the relationship with the one that is MEAN. If the others are truly your friend, they will understand and overlook the split between you and the B****.

Ok.. I don't think she acts like that just with me.. she treats pretty much everyone like crap. Shes fun to be around when she doesn't have her comments, but I really don't want be around her and her behavior. It's really just too negative.

I think what I'll do is just, like some said.. not laugh at her jokes... I used to laugh along but mostly I don't and I don't think she really gets it. I really want to use those comments that Katrina suggested, haha. I really need the confidence to say that but Ink I can manage. Last time I told her that her coments hurt my feelings she made excuses like you guys said, "can't you just take a joke", "well you always say you fat so I'm finally giving into it and agreeing" (which is totally not true, she said those things the first year we were friends and I wasn't even fat).

So yeah, I'm just going to try to grow away from her and make different friends (which is a little hard, I'm painfully shy haha). I doubt she'll get the idea... I think shes the most clueless person I know. But I just stop answering her calls and stuf. I hope that'll work.

thanks guys.

This really does bring back high school memories, not so much with the teasing, but being worried about how you cut out a friend when she's part of the "group," right? I had this horrendous "friend" in high school - lied to me all the time, talked about me behind my back, even made out with an ex boyfriend... and I WISH so badly that I had "phased" her out or at least stop putting up with her manipulative crap instead of letting her walk all over me for four years. It wasn't until my senior year when I started gaining confidence and making more friends that I felt like I could "phase" her out. I stopped calling, stopped hanging out unless I absolutely HAD to (because she was with the group). She didn't have a driver's license and always wanted people to pick her up and drive her places... I stopped being walked all over. And when we all graduated, I finally cut her out of my life for good. (By the way, she still tries to contact me on Myspace every six months, and I just ignore her).

I think you've got the right idea about not laughing or reacting to her jokes anymore. Maybe you should try the "kill with kindness" approach. She's not a friend, she's a bully, and if you branch out now and try to make new friends, it'll only serve you for the better! It's hard enough to be overweight, you don't need someone bringing you down and making you feel even worse about yourself. I wish you a lot of luck.

Why even worry about people like this and how to cut with them 'the right way' or something? She looks like a moron who spills her own insecurities on other people by showering them with insults hidden under so-called jokes. With friends like this, who needs enemies?

That's not friendship, that's just someone using you because she knows she can. Please don't be bothered about diplomacy and whatcrap here. She doesn't seem to be worth it, and YOU will be able to quickly make new, real friends, I'm pretty sure of it. (Real friends don't like you because you do their bidding and is always kind, they like you for who you are.)

Yeah, you can do stuff with the nice girl, and don't do stuff with the mean one. You can keep your morals and not say nasty things, while at the same time growing away from her. Kind of like you can smash an ice cube, or just walk away and let it melt.

I have a friend who is not at all mean to me... she's done something I don't think she thinks I know about...

I used to be the thin one. Now she is. And I found out that she has this awful photo of me where I look crazy-fat. What makes me suspicious is that the other photo of me that she has is one when I was thin. I wonder if they are motivational photos for her... it's really weird that she has a photo of me thin next to a photo of me thick, and not any other prominently displayed photos of me (she's not like a best friend, so it's not unusual that she doesn't have a million photos of me, just weird that these are the two she has displayed).

I don't think she means for me to see this, or that she's doing it to try to hurt me. It's just kind of freaky to wonder what she's thinking by putting up those two photos right next to each other. :(

First of all, that girl is not a good friend. I'd talk to her about it and if she doesn't back down and stop then don't hang out with her and tell the others that you refuse to do so and if they don't back you up as well then they aren't good friends either. There's nothing else I can say since you've gotten some DARN good advice and comments.

Wow. That is really weird. I hope she's not the psychopath type... I could swear one of my friends is a psychopath... not like dangerous, just manipulative and a liar to the extreme but totally charming.

Maybe you should think about asking her about it or something... just like pretend you accidently saw it and be like, ok why the heck do you have my pictures or somethin.

That would drive me nuts knowin that someone had pictures of me like that.