Seriously...are you getting support or criticism??
What I mean is....do the people you see everyday who tell you how good you look and ask how much you've lost and how much you want to lose...when you tell them your goal, do they say..."oh no...that is too little for you. You'd look sick!!!!"
I would like to see 120. I am 154 at the moment (okay...156.6 this morning!!!) I know when I walk by the mirror outside my office, I pretty much like what I am seeing. but I also see myself in the mirror at home in nothing but my bra and panties and I can see the FAT that hangs all over. I appreciate the wonderful compliments i get everyday at work, but i know that underneath the clothes I wear, is a body in bad need of dropping more pounds of FAT!!!!
If you've lost alot of weight, how do people react when they ask you your goal and you tell them????
I just plain don't give people any numbers. My weight and my goal weight are my own business! I'll just say "thanks, I've lost a bit of weight." Similarly, if people ask what I'm doing, I generally just give an "eating healthier and exercising more" rather than go into specifics about calorie counting (unless they're looking to lose weight, too.) Most people don't press it if I say these things, but if they do, then I may go into specifics, depending on the person. (I have an advantage here because 145 sounds a lot less "scary" than 120. People seem to think that healthy people should be 130 across the board. ...people are so clueless about healthy weights!)
It's funny how three little digits can get so much criticism in our society, eh? They're either too high or too low!
I've had the same issue. When I told my boss how much I wanted to lose he told me the same thing; that I would be too skinny. Then I politely explained that I've been too skinny for my frame before and my goal weight is about 20lbs above that weight. He backed off. Now when people ask how much more I want to lose I just say "a few more lbs." Which is true now (wasn't always), but I prefer to be vauge because people do like to make comments.
The thing is, no one can really know what is right for you. People don't take in to account your frame and sturcture. What one person can weigh at your height is not neccessarily correct for you. People don't typically think about this before they open their mouths. For instance, I'm one inch shorter than you and my goal weight is much higher than yours. But I have a large frame and don't care if I can pinch an inch here or there. I also have a big head and once I get to a certain weight you can really tell (I get bobble head syndrome. Lol.) But I'm not going to tell you your goal weight is too low! If it's right for you, then it's right for you! We are not cookie cutter people! We are all different and our bodies are different. I wish people (and doctors sometimes) would realize this! Ok, sorry, off my box now... this is just a topic that gets me riled up.
Usually I just don't tell my weight--not their business, indeed. But when someone asks, I basically say "gee, I dunno, if I can lose a few more pounds without too much hassle, then I'll lose them, and we'll see". And really, I don't know. I'm lighter now than I was at 12, so I have absolutely no idea of what I should weigh (my ticker here is just so that I have *some* kind of goal).
Funnily enough, when you don't bring numbers in, people aren't that much interested in the end, at least the people around me, that is.
I have heard from more than one person lately, "you need to eat" and "don't go getting to skinny". Fact of the matter is I also see that lovely belly pooch every single day and know there is still room to go. Yes I have almost reached my goal and for now that number remains, although looking at my pooch and my backside, and my thighs I think there are a few more pounds lurking out there. Sometimes I think it is just other people insecurities that make them say those things, because trust me, I eat all day long! What they fail to realize is what I eat. Shoot I am still on the high end of my healthy weight range, and fully know I will NEVER see the low end which is just below 100 (WHAT?). For now I just smile and take it as compliment.
It depends on the person whether I tell them how much weight I've lost generally I'll tell. Sometimes I'll underestimate so that people don't realize how heavy I was. But I don't think I've shared with anyone what my goal weight is. I find that most people don't have a concept of weight and body size so I think they will think I'm trying to get too thin.
On a side not my SIL tells me all the time that I've wasting away. She is a very heavy set person and she is also very tall which I think makes her look heavier. I went to get a long sleeve shirt out of the car on Saturday, we were at a graduation party outside, and she tried giving me my nephew's sweatshirt, that I had bought him on vacation. It is a childs large (I got it big because he grows really fast and I wanted it to fit him come winter and he has a large head, it runs in the family, and I wanted to make sure it would fit over his head) I bought a similar one for me that was an adult large. She was making this big deal on how if I lose anymore weight I could fit into his. I snapped back at her that it wont fit me, I got it so it would fit him for awhile, and if it would have fit me then I would have gotten myself the same size when I got his. I feel bad about snapping but it was clear that she was trying to embarass me in front of my family.
I get a mixed variety of responses, ranging from, "That makes sense" to "NO! DON'T DISAPPEAR!" But I'm early enough in the weight loss game (and was never huge to begin with) that most people just commend me for getting as far as I've gotten and believe my goals are reasonable.
When I was 2 lbs. from my goal, my SIL told me "you are wasting away and need to quit losing weight". I'll add that she was always the first one to point out before how much smaller she was than me or any of my sisters.
My own sister told me I should have set my goal at 155-160 as she says I'm "too thin" at 145. Like others have mentioned, I'm the one that sees my body without clothes. I really don't think another 10 lbs. off would have hurt a thing. But, I can't seem to get that low or maintain it.
I did get down to 141 for a while and a good friend of mine who's been following my wt. loss progress seriously told me she thought I was "losing too much". Her's was the only comment that I thought was heartfelt. She pointed out that the extra 4-5 lbs. off made my face look a little too bony. I noticed really that she was right. I felt like she was being honest and supportive where some of the others were not.
I, too, get mixed responses to my very visible weight-loss (let alone the very few occasions that I do share how many #s I lost).
Actually, I feel more awkward about coming up with a "you've lost weight" reply -- I really don't feel comfortable saying "thanks" because, frankly, I was as happy with myself when I was heavier as I am now. A "you look great, too!" seems a bit contrived, since it's like a forced reciprocation. And a "well, it's still a work in progress," evoke some sort of "you don't need to lose more" response.
So yea, still feeling my way around the best all-purpose response to that comment.
You do what you feel best doing. You are the one who sees yourself in the mirror.
Several of us told my BIL that he needed to gain some weight. He went on South Beach and did a wonderful job of losing weight. However, he was getting consumed with it. The next time we saw him, he'd regained about 10 lbs and looked great. When I spoke with my SIL about it, she said that he went back for his check up and the dr jumped all over him. He said that he needed to regain 10 - 15 lbs that there is such a thing as "under" weight and severely under weight. My BIL was approaching the latter.
The others have said it best. You are the one who knows your body. If you are seeing a dr., then that will be something you two can discuss. It's your body, not theirs. You are taller than I am. I have a goal similar to yours because of my bone structure. I was called too thin when I was under 125. (Well, except by the now rotund one.)
I don't tell my weight or my ultimate goal. If someone asks how much I've lost, I tell them in round numbers.
If someone says, "Oh, you're getting so skinny!" I say, "No, I'm not." Because the fact is, I'm still in the overweight category at this weight. Usually they mean it as a compliment, but I'd just as soon set them straight on it.
Lumifan, I don't know whether you'll be able to reach 125, but you can work that out later on. I'd just avoid the issue by not saying.
I think, in general, folks want to help. Unfortunately they often pitch in with a partially educated suggestion.
There's so much media attention about eating disorders these days, we shouldn't be surprised to get that sort of response.
I've had someone (who was ailing themselves) ask if my loss was intentional or was I sick.
How the heck would anyone know what weight would be fine for me? I didn't know I'd look like this. Women come in a dizzying array of fabulous shapes and sizes!
And I also think folks want you to know that they know something about health and well-being. If you're getting fitter, they want to be 'in it' with you somewhere.
I used to gush and hurry to explain my criticizers mistakes but ... actually I don't know it all either.
Alas ... another opportunity to smile and nod.
I think a lot of people just don't realize how much you actually weigh. When I told my best friend how much I actually weighed she nearly had a heart attack! She said there is no way you are that heavy! Well I had to get on her scales to prove it!
As for other people, I do not tell them how much I weigh or that I am on a "diet" and trying to lose weight. When they ask why I am eating a particular thing (or not eating it) I just say something to the effect that "my cholesteral is high and the doctor wants me to watch what I am eating" ( which is true ).
When I was in my 20's and after having my son, I weighed 105 pounds. So when I say I want to get down to 130 I know that is a realistic goal for me and I really could lose more and look better. But that is a weight I can be comfortable with. However, when you are short like me, people think the opposite when you say that and think you should weigh around 100 pounds thanks to all the starlites in hollywood!
( everyone will have to excuse my spelling. I never was very good at it! )
Seriously...are you getting support or criticism??
rotund one
