After a somewhat frustrating day yesterday, I feel better today. When I got in the car to go to weigh-in, it refused to cooperate, just groaned. I had spent some time getting ready to go -- finding my scale-friendly clothes , trying to decide if I might have lost a pound or two -- when I should have been working. Then my son called to see if he could come for lunch and get a ride to work. Since the car wasn't going I couldn't pick him up and felt badly but at the same time like, "You're 24 years old; you need to be taking responsibility for getting yourself to work. I can't go pick you up and take you every day even if the car IS working." I told him that he should try to line up rides with coworkers and chip in on the gas. But of course I felt conflicted and frustrated about it all day.

I've been a little out of sorts and cranky anyway. I'm not sure where it comes from. I suppose it could be menopause-related. I was having a bad time with hot flashes again for a while and I know there's a mood component. Just not "Suzy Sunshine." To say the least.

I find myself getting really angry at my mom because she won't face up to her weight problem. She's 5 feet tall and weighs at least 250. She never exercises, not even walking around or doing her housework (except for cooking ). And she thinks the reason she has trouble getting around is because she has arthritis! It drives me mad! I took her to buy groceries the other evening and she spent $110. without getting one nutritious item. She's 78 (and her mother lived to be 100!) -- I'm really afraid that she will become completely incapacitated. She would HATE to be completely dependent (and I'm afraid that I would be resentful) but she won't face up to the fact that she has to take responsibility for her own health and that she can't continue to exist on junk food and no exercise without paying the price.

Whew! Anyway, she came over for a weight-loss meeting with two of my sisters yesterday, more or less just as a visit, but I have some hope that she will get into it. We talk about our problems and ways to deal with them, and maybe it will help.

On a positive note, our beloved cat was found last night. He was hiding under the porch of the house next door -- I think he's not used to the traffic noises after living in the country for a few years. I can hardly believe he was there all the time, but he does seem to have lost weight -- luckily he was a bit of a chubber to begin with -- say, that gives me an idea... naw, I guess it's too cold for me to spend a week under the neighbour's porch. Maybe in the summer.

Sorry to ramble on, but thanks for letting me vent. This morning I still felt grumbly and tired when I woke up, so I told my husband that I didn't want to pitch myself out of bed to walk at 6:15. I got another cup of tea and nestled in bed getting caught up on the newspapers. Just what I needed. It looks like a nice day now, and I think I will go for a walk later on.

Today I resolve to eat only at the table, journal every bite, get all my water, and get in a walk (already did a.m. Chi, I'm determined to try to do things that make me feel GOOD!)

Let's make this a great day! Love to all!

xo
babette
231/210/160

hey all. well,i did pretty well until class last night. it was our last real class (before the final) and people brought cookies and candy and stuff. i didn't do *that* bad, as i was busy studying, but i ate more cookies than i should have. then, after class, my wonderful (hahaha) s.o. talked me into a burger and splitting some fries. he knows my weaknesses.
i felt really icky after all that, especially since i had to get home and get to bed right after-couldn't really sleep since i had just eaten this big, greasy (but oh so good) burger. i started with a bowl of kashi this morning and i am feeling good. we'll see how the work luncheon goes.

babette-wow-sounds like you have a lot going on. glad your kitty came back. i have 3 now, and they are my babies, so i understand what it's like to be missing one. as for the 24 year old son-well, my s.o. is 25 and i am the one taking him to work and whatever else. no sense of responsibility at all. drives me nuts!! i know it's not my problem and i'm trying not to do it but.....well, here i am rambling for no reason.
as for your mom...that's a tough one. yeah, it's hard to see, but what can you do? hopefully, you can help her out somehow. invite her out for a short walk when you're together? as we all know, some movement is better than none.
hope you're in a better mood as the day progresses. everyone has those days....

take care everyone

Storms have abated and my phone lines work again, so hopping on the internet before it all crashes again.

Having a good week calorie and exercise-wise. Not sure about the other stuff, but we carry on. I've been under 1800 calories each day since Sunday and consistent in working out. Hope to see those extra pounds disappear soon.

Babette: What an irritating morning you must have had with the car conking, the son needing help and you feeling conflicted about it, all when you were trying to focus for a bit on your own needs (WW). Your son sounds nice and normal, though. Bet he didn't give it another thought all day.

I know what it's like to worry about a mom when you don't seem able to do anything to help. Remember, though, that THE CLICK is a personal thing for each individual. Your mom won't deal with her weight issues until she hears the click for herself. And the more others try to make her deal with the issues, the more she will close her ears. But maybe you can be sneaky and help a little. Could you bring her healthy meals as a surprise because you just know her arthritis is bothering her? (Thus validating her feeling that she's unable to move because of pain). And, as Sychie says, invite her to walk with you, maybe to the corner because you need her advice on something (make something up that she needs to help you with?). Then you could just gently stroll and talk and stroll and talk. If you could become the helpless one, maybe she'd exert herself to aid you.

But I know it's easier said than done. Believe me, I've been there and am now reaching the end of that journey.

I think it's cool you have "weight-loss meetings" with your sisters! You are so lucky to have that support.

Glad you found your kitty!

Sychie: Kashi is so delicious, isn't it? I just love Good Friends as a dry snack, but I add some raisins, then put in a baggie and carry around. I think I'm going to try cooking some regular Kashi in a crockpot ... maybe with blueberries.

Edyie: Glad you were rescued from the chocolate coma! I think I'm lucky that vanilla is my favorite endorphin producing substance, because chocolate seems to have a powerful effect on a lot of people. I like chocolate (a lot), but don't crave it. I've also found the sugar free Swiss Miss cocoa takes care of any desire I have for chocolate. It's the only sugar free cocoa that really satisfies me.

Tomorrow is my last day at work until January 3rd! My intention is to make it a very healthy time, kind of a spa-at-home thing. Garry's off the last 2 weeks of the year and he'd be into it too, I think.

Babette, So glad your cat came back. Years ago one of ours wandered off and after 2 weeks we mourned her and were sure we sensed her sweet kitty ghost with us and then on the 16th day she comes back! So much for our pychic impressions.

Had a very bad food day yesterday but I'm past that madness for now.

Thanks for all the support & sympathy, Girlfriends! You guys are the best! I had a much better day today. Talked out some child support/custody/etc. issues with my son's ex-girlfriend and am feeling hopeful that we will be able to come to a consensus. Tomorrow I'll see my son and work on it from that end (he's not ready to talk to her yet). I'm very determined to do what I can to make this situation the best it can be for everyone.

I achieved all my goals today: water, eating at the table, exercise, lots of fruits and veggies I will aim for the same tomorrow.

Sychie, funny about your S.O. Men! They will be boys, won't they. I know that I (unintentionally) brought my son up to be more dependent than he should be. I love him to bits, but I would love it if he would get some more initiative. Actually, when his life is even a little bit stable he starts to, but he has had some tough times (I know they say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but I think sometimes it just maims the **** out of you instead). And we women, on the other hand, try to make sure that everything is okay. The whole control thing is a real problem for me, trying to control things that I can, put up with things that I can't control and know which is which (to paraphrase the serenity prayer - it's a good one for me, for sure).

Crone, how are you feeling about coming to the end of your mother-parenting days? It sounds as if it's been a long and sometimes difficult period for you. I do think that doing some gentle exercise with my mom is the best idea, because she loves to do things but just never thinks to do them on her own. I think it comes from having to just do what had to be done for so many years. She had 10 kids, an alcoholic husband, and - usually - a full-time job. So she never had to plan her time, she just jumped in and coped the best she could. She sure never had to deliberately get exercise. Now, when she doesn't have to do anything, she just sits on her couch. I know that part of the reason it bugs me so much is because I imagine myself falling into the same trap.

You're right, it's great to have my sisters, although sometimes they drive me crazy too It can be pretty wild when there are a bunch of us together all talking at once. And thank you for saying my son sounds "nice and normal" -- I guess you're right! And he may not have given it another thought, but then again when i talked to him today he sounded less like he thought his mummy should look after him.

What kind of storm were you having? You live in such a different environment than I do! Although we've had some very pleasant weather lately, it's mostly been chilly. Time to pull out the woolies.

Eydie, congrats on the vacation! Oh, that sounds nice. Hope you have a wonderful, healthy, rejuvenating time. I love it that the solstice is coming up, even though it seems a little paradoxical to me heading into winter and into the lengthening days simultaneously. My DH & I could use a little R & R, too, whether that stands for "rest & relaxation" or "rockin' & rollin" -- this moving stuff has really cut into our couple time. Are you making any fabulous treats for the holidays? You always seem to be making the BEST stuff! We have a few feasts this time of year and I like to substitute quality for quantity, take a day or two off the regime and just enjoy the festivities.

Have a good night, Everyone.

xo
babette

hello.
well, i mostly made it through the company holiday lunch thing yesterday. did fine til i saw crumb cake. and i took a slice. and went back for another. then took 2 at the end of the party for snacking in the afternoon at my desk. and then there was just one more left later in the day and the receptioist asked me to take it so she could finish cleaning up and i did. on the up side, i'm sick of crumh cake for now, so i don't need to worry about gorging myself on that for now.
i'm glad to hear things are going pretty well for everyone.

babette-i hope you get some good "couple time" as well as some good personal time; moving is a killer.

crone-i havent' found "regular" kashi that you cook-any ideas where to look? how do you cook it?

eydie-sounds like a great plan for your time off. wish i could take that sort of time.

well, classes are over tonight (except for one annoying accounting class-bleh), so hopefully things will be a bit calmer. unfortunately, it seems that things are flaring up wiht the s.o. again. it may be the end-finally. (this is a strange relationship)
hopefully, i'll be smart enough not to eat my way through it.

take care

Having a better food day than yesterday, which I am counting as my "splurge" for the week. My exercise is consistent, so that's to the good. Hope to see some results on the scale this week.

Sychie: The original kashi is a pilaf that is cooked like rice or any hot cereal. You can make it into a sweet or savory dish depending on what you do with it. There are lots of ideas on the package. I believe Morrigan (whom I miss and hope is ok) mentioned mixing it with applesauce for breakfast (sorry if that citation is wrong!). It's generally sold with the other kashi cereals or with hot cereals in the grocery store or in the health food section. They also have a website. (Type "kashi" in the search engine.) Hope you find it; it's really good, IMO.

Babette: Glad you're feeling more chipper! Sounds as though you take a good deal of time and trouble to make things come out right for the people you love. I think that's nice! Don't forget to love yourself also.

Re my mom, I'm kind of numb on that right now. Just waiting for the hand to play itself out however it may. I think I understand what you are saying about wanting to galvinate your mom because of a secret fear your future will be similar to hers. There are no easy answers to this dilemma, because often we do turn out much like our mothers ... but often we don't. It's important to remember that your mom is the product of her life, which is not your life, so she'll follow her own path whatever you say or do. Still, some walking wouldn't hurt!

Eydie: Your "spa" vacation sounds like a great idea. From reading your posts on this board, I deduce that you are a wonderful cook and probably have a whole menu of "spa" cuisine planned. Maybe you could share some recipes?

Hope this doesn't put us into four pages! Good-night, everyone. I'm off to tat, then read in bed with sugar-free hot chocolate. This is the only month of the year here where hot chocolate seems remotely viable to me, so I have it every night.