is it just me or has anyone else heard "you got such a pretty face, if only you lost weight". im tired of hearing it! i know i need to lose weight but dang just hush!

Yep, had someone years ago tell me that I'd be beautiful if I lost weight. I am still wondering to this day whether she actually believed that this was some kind of compliment, or whether she thought that I would magically start dieting because I would be beautiful after I had lost weight. This lady was stick thin, and I have a feeling she had ALWAYS been stick thin, and she was a harsh, cold person. I remember thinking that I did NOT want to be thin if I turned out like her.

These 'back-handed' compliments are derogatory and thoughtless. I actually believe that they are meant as insults and serve no purpose.

Zelma

Looool tell me about it! You've spoken to my heart. I've had them quite often - as well as "you used to be a great dancer... if only you lost weight you could be again" wow... that one really makes me grrrrr. I have Arab origins so belly dancing was something we... just do. Because I'm not as fit I can't dance as long as before and my sister is super skinny and fitter so she can... bleh.

This has not happened to me--but if someone did say that to me, I would look them right in the eye and say, without anger, "Why would you say something like that to me?" This puts the attention where it belongs, on the dope who made the comment. And then we would have quite a discussion...

Jay

People used to tell me that all the time. I wonder if they would think I am beautiful now. Probably not. They would find something else to find fault with.
Terrie

Yep. Been told that before. However, I have also just been told that I am beautiful and, at the end of the day, I get to choose which one I let sink into my core!

yup- count me in, I've heard that "compliment" before.

I replied with: "And you have such a pretty (handsome) face! - if only you'd shut your mouth."

^ HAHA! I'll have to remember that one.

Yes, I've heard that before. Most embarrassingly when I used to work with middle schoolers and they didn't know this white girl spoke Spanish - so they jabbered away (I pretended like I didn't hear) until one of them that knew told the rest of them and then we were all embarrassed.

I hate that. It implies that one must be thin in order to be beautiful, and we all know that that's certianly not the case! Fabulosity has nothing to do with weight!

Yep, heard that one before. By my mother no less.

I also get all the time "you have such a pretty eyes and hair, you only need to loose some weight", **** with them, i found me pretty enough and also do the people arround me

Been there too!! My family tells me that all the time the funny thing is they are all overweight too.
What's worse I have to say is being told that when you were skinny you were so beautiful because that totally makes you feel like crap. Like you don't know that you gained a ton of weight and of course even you think you looked better when you weighed less. Like you need to be told. People can be so stupid.

yeah my mom used to tell me that allllll the time. She was right though because I wasnt as pretty then as I believe I am now. I think what makes my features "beautiful" is that they are sharp. Sharp lines, which you couldnt see under my fat I was still cute though

Hmm... I can definately see how this comment can be hurtful. But some of us... well, maybe just this senorita... never get the 'pretty' part of the comment at all. Which I think sucks more, to feel like you can be fat or not fat, but either way you'll never be cute.

I have also heard this one before.

I even had a guy in high school tell me that overweight girls looked fine when they were dressed, it's when they take their clothes off that their weight becomes a problem. Way to try and pick a girl up, eh?