I've been struggling with weight all my life, and I've discovered that by not taking myself so seriously, I've begun to feel better about myself. I mean I know my weight is an issue, but I also know that there are some people who are so depressed over the fact that they are overweight and I don't want to be that person. I was that person - for years! Life is too short. What if I never lose the weight? Am I going to be miserable about it my entire life? I need to find a balance between life and food and although I'm still searching for that balance, crying about it isn't going to get me any closer to my goal. It's all about having a good time, hard work, determination and a little sense of humor. I'm NOT saying to make fun of fat people. That's awful! I'm just looking back on the years I spent working at Lane Bryant (which we all know and love) and the fun I had laughing with my fat girls over the people we encountered:

1. "I wish you had clothes like this in my size." -- They do, honey. They're in EVERY OTHER STORE IN THE WHOLE FREAKING MALL. Check it out.

2. "I'm not shopping for me, I'm shopping for my mother. She's fat." -- And I'm sure she appreciates your skinny *** talking about her to me.

3. Me: "Well, how big is your mom?" Skinny girl: "Reeeally big." Me: "Like my size?" (Note: I am an 18/20) Skinny girl: "No, not that big." -- Great. Apparently anything 18/20 and above is made only for elephants like myself.

4. "Do you have any size lower than a 14?" -- No, we are a plus-size store only. If you are not plus-sized, please do not buy the clothes. Only buy the jewelry.

5. "Will this fit me?" -- Yes, it is a pair of earrings. Just because we are a plus-size store, doesn't mean the earrings will only go through fat lobes.

6. "I could wear this as a dress!!!" -- Please do. I will help you try it on ... and then I will strangle you with it.

7. Skinny girl walks into the store, unsuspecting. She looks around at the sales girls. They are all beautiful, plus-sized chicks. She looks at the clothing. Sizes 22 and 26. What? Could this be ... a FAT store? OMG, I have to get out of here!!!! -- You would often see a skinny girl wander in and then wander out like the fat was going to fly off our bodies and stick to her tiny thighs. Get over yourselves. You can't catch FAT.

8. "Do you have any plain bags?" -- No, we only carry the ones that say Lane Bryant. If you are egged by your friends for carring a bag from a "fat girl" store, then you might want to change your friends.

9. Me: "What size is she?" Skinny girl shopping for someone: "Reeeeally big ... she has such a hard time finding clothes ... come to think of it, she's about your size." -- Funny, I didn't have a hard time finding these clothes. They were in my closet, along with all the other clothes that come sizes above a 4.

10. "You sell sexy underwear here, too?" -- Believe or not, heavy chicks like to wear sexy underwear. We're even classy enough to wear it under our clothes, and not outside of them.

Life is too short to take what these people say literally. You may not always be fat, but they'll always be an idiot (lol). Relax and enjoy life. Stress keeps the pounds on, so I'm told. Laughter takes them off.

<-- hysterical

LOL I needed a smile on my face!! Those are GREAT!!

YOU are a RIOT!!

I love it! Just what I needed.

You are a funny chick!!! You should ask if you can make a sign and post them in the dressing rooms!!! I think it'd brighten everyone's shopping experience.

LOL! Great post, people can be such idiots. I’m afraid in a few more pounds I may not be buying clothes at Lane Bryant anymore. I’ve been in love with LB since I first discovered it a few years back. Even when I can’t wear the clothes anymore I will always return to LB to buy my bras, it’s the only place I can go bra shopping without wanting to tear my hair out and cry.

Yeah, they do have rockin' bras. I'm a 42DD and I always know that I can find my size there. The best part is, if the hooks get all weird from the wash you can return them and grab a new bra. They don't mind! It's all policy.

Good one!!!
I always wondered what skinny people do when they walk in to LB by accident.
I don't know what I would wear if it wasn't for Lane Bryant, maybe one of those flowery moo-moo's they sell in other "fat girl" places.

OMG!!!! Moo-moos (I honestly don't know how to spell it and thank God I've never worn one) are horrible. My memere (French for grandma) said that all they used to sell were Moos with big flowers on them. That's just what a big girl needs, right? A big red flower on her stomach ... like a bullseye.

Those were great comments and thanks for the laugh. I needed it today. I never thought about it but you probably do hear some pretty funny stuff working at LB. I used to get almost all my clothes there, and it is still where I go to get my bras.

You are HIRED! Thats some funny stuff you got there.

LOL! I'm cracking up. And I know what you mean, I no longer worry about what people think of my weight.

wow, I hope I never walk into a Lane Bryant with someone feeling offended at my presence! I understand your humour and I love it, but if I ever need to buy clothes for my plus size friend, you probably scared me from going into Lane Bryant or any plus size store.

LOL, moo mooos!! My mother still wears these and I have always been embarrassed by them. She is maybe 5' tall at the most and a tad over 200, although she won't tell. It makes her look alot bigger than she is and it drives me nuts. Another thing she used to wear in the summer that was a source of extreme embarrassment to my sister and I was a strapless terry cloth shorts suit, braless.................ouch!!

Oh man! Those are the worst. I have a cousin who was a big fan of the tube top, especially without a bra. She is about 300 lbs. and always wears a dress over the tube, but the arms are cut really low so you can see the tube poking out underneath ... God awful. She looks so much bigger than she is!!!