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Old 03-18-2007, 02:51 AM   #1  
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soulnik's Avatar
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Talking Prayers to the Saint and God of Weight Loss

I am one pound away from my first 25 lbs mini goal so I decided to juice up my religious expression to help me with my weight loss efforts. Introducing: St. Sizita, Patron Saint of Fewer Inches & WeightTaker, the Great God of Lost Pounds. I've written prayers to them below. I'll let you know if they help!!!!

A Prayer of Supplication to St. Sizita, Patron Saint of Fewer Inches

Hail Sizita,
Free of Fat
Weight loss is with thee
Blessed art thou among fat women
And blessed is the size of your butt and hips too
Holy Sizita,
Calorie counter of God
Pray for us dieters
And at the hour of our binge

A Prayer of Supplication to WeighTaker, Great God of Lost Pounds

Our WeighTaker, who art embodied
Hallowed be thy scale
Thy weight loss come
It will be done
Each day
And not just before special events like weddings and reunions
Guide us each day
Away from loaves of bread
And forgive us our gym avoidance
As we forgive ourselves cookies and candies
And lead us not into temptation
But deliver us from donuts
For thine is good health, full life and lower BMI
For ever and ever
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Old 03-18-2007, 03:28 AM   #2  
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Lol, the second one is gold.
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Old 03-18-2007, 03:50 AM   #3  
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Thanks...I so needed that laugh
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Old 03-18-2007, 11:16 AM   #4  
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I love it, Soulnik! Congrats on your successful weight loss thus far. Just one lb....you can do it! And I LOVE the rewards you've set up for yourself. Way to go!!!

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Old 03-18-2007, 12:30 PM   #5  
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hahaha I especially love the part
"Not just before special occassions like weddings and reunions".

I think we're all just a LIIIITTTLE bit guilty of that.
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Old 03-18-2007, 03:09 PM   #6  
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lol...thanks for the pick me up. I think we all need those prayers right now.
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Old 03-18-2007, 03:46 PM   #7  
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Too funny, Soulnik. I was at church this morning, Lord's prayer and all. Maybe next week, I'll quietly use your words instead!
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