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Old 02-17-2007, 12:41 AM   #1  
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Default Feel myself slipping -- HELP! (Long)


So I've been doing South Beach for 5.5 weeks now and have been generally feeling great, and committed, and lost 10 pounds. Was really happy. Am really happy. For the first 4 weeks I did not cheat even one single iota. BUT. The primary reason I didn't cheat is because I'm a bit of an all-or-nothing person. I knew that once I cheated even a little, it would be a slippery slope. If I can avoid things all together, I'm ok. If I give a little, I tend to give a lot (this is the reason I have not even had a single puff of a cigarette since I quit smoking a year ago). Unfortunately, food is harder to avoid than cigarettes, and I'm finding this journey a lot more difficult!

A week and a half ago my boss took a client and me out to lunch at an Indian restaurant. I did the best I could, but obviously didn't do very well because I felt HORRIBLE afterwards (think sheer exhaustion, killer headache). I then went home and after dinner, proceeded to eat 4 desserts. Plus a piece of bread at dinner that wasn't in the plan. My desserts were all South-Beach friendly (I had two servings of homemade pb cookies, a SF fudgesicle, and SF pudding), but still. I hadn't binged like that since I before I started!!

I got myself back on track, but now I feel I'm slipping again. I had to go out of town for work yesterday and had little choice in my food. I managed to eat a ham, mushroom, cheese omelet for breakfast (SB friendly, although it was a bit oily) but then ate half a slice of (I'm sure) non-SB friendly bread. Lunch was breaded, stuffed chicken breasts with salad and vegetables. I was starving at this point and the veggies and salad alone would not have filled me up. Then I caved and ate a 1/2" sliver of brownie. And a 1x1" square of butter tart. And it wasn't worth it. For dinner I had caesar salad w/o croutons, 3 giant prawns, a bacon wrapped scallop, and "steamed" asparagus (in quotations because they were drenched in oil, so I only had 3 stalks). I also had a small piece of sourdough bread. But I didn't eat dessert, although everyone else did and they tried their best to tempt me.

I was feeling crappy about that, but then consoled myself by thinking that normally I would have eaten two desserts at lunch, french toast, eggs, and bacon for breakfast, and pasta, two pieces of bread, and definitely dessert at dinner. So I'm doing better. I just don't feel I'm living up to my own expectations, you know?

Tonight I got home from work and was EXHAUSTED and did NOT want to cook (even though I had a meal plan), so bf made me a grilled cheese sandwich, cottage cheese, and green beans. Not bad. But after he left to jam with his band, I ate four desserts again. Two servings pb cookies, two SF fudgesicles. Oh yeah, the first time I did this was also when he was gone for the evening. I won't do it in front of him.

Before he left, we made plans to go to our favorite pizza place for dinner tomorrow. Although he's been very supportive, he told me he misses going for dinner with me (we used to go every week and eat WELL). I agree. And I was thinking that I need to learn to give a little without giving up. The pizza place is authentic Italian, so very thin crust pizza with sugar-free tomato sauce (basically just tomatoes). Not the worst I could do... But now I'm wondering if I'll just sabotage myself further.

I'm so scared to slip back to where I was. I really want to lose this weight, but it has taken over my life. It's all I think about, talk about, care about. And to tell you the truth, I want my life back.

Any advice? Suggestions? Should I cancel tomorrow? How do I get myself back on track? Should I go back to Phase I again for a week?

Feeling frustrated and very confused.
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Old 02-17-2007, 01:23 AM   #2  
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It's hard to answer because you have slipped lately and I know how you feel, but if you really want to get the pizza, then get the pizza. Eat a nice clean day and plan for your starches at dinner, and get right back on plan afterwards. You'll feel better if you just look at this with a lot of confidence and recognize that this is a journey and you are bound to hit some rough patches. You DID go 5.5 weeks without cheating which is awesome, and I think you can get over this hurdle and move on down the beach.

Maybe you need a few days on p1, if you find that you really need the sugar?
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Old 02-17-2007, 03:59 AM   #3  
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I don't know anything about the south beach diet as I calorie count but I know a lot (too much) about letting things slip. One of the reasons I joined this site was in the hope that people could teach me that by having a bad day - or even several of them - it wasn't all over. You've lost a great deal of weight in a short but safe period of time. You cannot possibly have undone all the good work you've done so far. The only way you're going to do that is if you decide that you don't want this anymore and throw in the towel.

We all mess up but you've got to accept that that's happened and move on. I see no reason at all why you shouldn't go out with your boyfriend and have dinner. Eat on plan all day, make wise choices at the restaurant and it should be fine. I do reckon that you should forego dessert though as it seems to be a trigger for you.

You can do this - you've already shown that you can. You do have to live as well and if you start to learn now how to cope with things when they don't go according to plan you've got a way better chance of keeping the weight off long term.
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Old 02-17-2007, 07:07 AM   #4  
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Hmmm. Maybe time for some "tough love"... ?

OK, you're almost 6 weeks in, so that means your body is really craving certain foods, like carbs. And, you're not just giving in, it sounds like you're going over the edge. Eating desserts in secret? Hmmm. And where did those homemade pb cookies come from? Hmmmm.

If you were saying "Day before yesterday I had one cigarette, and then yesterday I had two more," I would say STOP! STOP NOW! You also said you "consoled" yourself by thinking about how much you would have eaten in the past. Well, that's like saying, "I used to smoke a pack and a half a day, so a cigarette or two isn't so bad."

Yes, it is possible to go out to dinner with your boyfriend--even for pizza--but pizza is very tricky calorie and carb wise. It's not going to be something you can do every week, I would guess. Not and lose weight too! You might have to find other places to go, other foods to enjoy. Do plan ahead calorie-wise for it.

You said, "I'm so scared to slip back to where I was. I really want to lose this weight, but it has taken over my life. It's all I think about, talk about, care about. And to tell you the truth, I want my life back. "

I know what you mean. In the past I have lost weight, then gotten tired of the effort and given up so I could get "my life back," that is, do things the way I used to. There is a saying, "If you keep doing what you always did, you'll keep getting what you always got." I gained the weight back again. So I've now concluded that whatever "my life" is going to be, the eating part of it has to be really different from now on. I have had to figure out how to eat when out of town, how to eat when out to dinner with people, etc., and you can, too!

Good luck! Don't give up! We are cheering for you!
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Old 02-17-2007, 04:11 PM   #5  
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Originally Posted by RidiculouslyAddicted View Post
I'm so scared to slip back to where I was. I really want to lose this weight, but it has taken over my life. It's all I think about, talk about, care about. And to tell you the truth, I want my life back.

Any advice? Suggestions? Should I cancel tomorrow? How do I get myself back on track? Should I go back to Phase I again for a week?

Feeling frustrated and very confused.
I think Jayell is right about the tough love. Are you sure you want your old life back? The old habits are what put you in this postion. It may have been comfortable but it wasn't good for you. You want to be a healthy, thinner person with healthy eating habits, right?

Sometimes the all or nothing approach is hard to escape. But the fact is some days are just going to be really difficult. But you CAN do it. Look how far you've come already! When you have stumbled and made a few bad choices there is no reason to think of it as failing. You have spent the past few weeks being a healthy person. Every minute of everyday is an opportunity for you to work toward the healthy life you want to live. Ups and downs are just a part of life.

Plan ahead as best you can and don't put your life on hold. We all hit rough patches, and man they can be brutal, but you just have to keep on going. You just need to rev yourself up and get excited again!

PS- My ticker only shows my current battle of the bulge, but I've had several big weight losses in years past. Now I have the battle at lower #'s. It's a challenge at these #'s too!
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Old 02-17-2007, 10:40 PM   #6  
Join Date: Apr 2006
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I think that the right diet is the one that WORKS for you. In the long term. For me, I found that restricting carbs was the worst possible thing for me. Even though the literature says that "you will get over the cravings within a couple of weeks", it doesn't take much to TRIGGER those old food habits. Just one English muffin and OFF I WENT, for weeks. So really, the short term results were great for me, but the long term plan really sucked.
You might try a more balanced diet plan, such as Weight Watchers or Calorie Counting. If you can learn what reasonable portions of normal food are, you might be able to control your weight successfully over the long run. You can still lose 1-2 lbs a week (pretty much what you are doing on SB right now) without the agony of trying to avoid binging on restricted foods. We both know that a binge doesn't just equal more calories, but an extra dollop of guilt and self-loathing too. Who needs THAT??? Certainly not YOU!!!
And, if you are on a restrictive diet (i.e. low carb) it might be IMPOSSIBLE to maintain if your whole household isn't on it with you. That has been my experience.
The best advice I can think of is:
take a deep breath
look at your eating habits
perhaps change diet plans to a more balanced approach
LEARN PATIENCE - it is WAY easier to put it on than to take it off, and often restrictive diets are more a reflection of the HOPE one has for quick weight loss at the expense of a livable life-long weight solution.
Best of luck!
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Old 02-17-2007, 11:15 PM   #7  
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south beach isnt low carb if it is followed.

In any case you have to find what will work for you FOREVER. Personally, when I did SB (and my diet is still 90% SB) the "desserts" were the killer. They triggered more cravings than any amount of bread or potatoes could ever do. They gave the desire for sweet without ever truly satisfying. They dont help you get over the desire for overly sweet overly processed foods. Eat real food and it will be easier.

Make sure you eat enough earlier in the day. The larger the breakfast I eat (and that is one meal I am pretty SBD strict even now) the better off I am.

Also, many of the pre-packaged south beach snacks do not actually conform to south-beach guidelines. They are for "occasional use". (Read: we caved to marketing pressure)
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