I had to get my picture taken for a school id on Friday. The last picture I had was over 2 years ago (and 25 pounds lighter). The woman taking the photo was the thinnest I've ever seen (about 5' tall and no more than 100 pounds). She had to shred my old id and then hand over the new one. As she was about to shred the older id, she took a peek at it and said "Was that you? Wow, you were pretty!"
OK, is it just me or was that insanely rude? Who...but who ... reminds someone that they USED to be pretty when they were many many pounds lighter as many moons ago?
It's not just you, that WAS insanely rude. Just use all that negativity as more of a motivation to go on and keep losing. Channel it into something positive, and then the next time you go back you can say "Hmmm, you were so much prettier the last time I was here!"
Darlin I completely understand. Nothing makes you feel worse about yourself. Or if someone says "well you still have a pretty face" you want to freakin punch them in the throat, be extremely rude and say something like "o thanks, what happened to you, or have you always looked like that" or on a bad day you just go to your car and cry.
I've been hyper-ventilating these past few days and was worried that I was over-reacting as usual. I see now I'm not and that some people should be better trained in customer service. BAH!
Let's face it...some people say exactly what is on their minds! If this woman was really skinny, probably almost everyone looks heavier than they should be to her!
Take her comment as yet another reason to commit yourself to look the way you want to look. Use her comment to spur you on to losing the weight you want to lose.
Come here often because we here all have pounds to lose, and with each pound we DO lose we get closer to the thinner person buried inside us!
It was clearly a mindless comment--however, it might be that she wasn't even thinking of your weight or how recently the photo was taken. Key phrase here is wasn't thinking.
When we're overweight and we know it, ANY comment like that can hurt, but sometimes the person holding the knife is our own judgmental self. Yeah, it was a dumb thing for her to say, but who are you really mad at? In my case, part of my anger would be self directed. That anger comes up, even though it's not helpful.
Yes, she probably didn't realize what it means to be obese. She's no more than 100 pounds - the tiniest waist and hips she had and everything about her was petite and delicate-looking. Maybe it's just me being JEALOUS.
I don't know, ladies. In the last month, my husband has been really P/A with me. He pulled up all my pictures from 1999 (the LAST year I was slim - about 123 lbs) and has been leaving them everywhere I can see them. There's one in his purse, I know. He's also been taping pictures to the bathroom mirrors, the sink counter tops, on the kitchen table, at my computer desk - anywhere I can see them and it really HURTS that he resents the way I look right now.
Maybe I'm reacting to the angst inside me - this can't be too good for my marriage - and a harmless comment from a perfect stranger just sets off the ticking, terrifying time bomb inside.
Have you talked to your DH about his behavior? It may be that he thinks it will motivate you somehow if you see what you used to look like. This could be his way of trying to help. Even if it is, though, that kind of behavior is rude and hurtful and not a good way to behave towards one's spouse, and he needs to hear that flat-out. And if it isn't...you need to smack him upside the head and tell him he can either support you or get the **** out of your way, but no more of this passive-aggressive bull----.
Although I would say, don't beat yourself up for reacting poorly to that comment. It wasn't harmless. It was thoughtless and tactless at best, mean and spiteful at worst.
I agree with everyone... that woman was not only rude but totally insensitive. As for your husband, I hope maybe that he is just trying to help - probably not really aware of how hurtful he is being. I hope you can get it through to him that you need some good love and support -- you don't need him putting pictures around like easter eggs or policing your food.
And as for the rude comment -- any chance you can use that for fuel? Use it for motivation? As in "I'll show her pretty!" Occassionally hurtful things can make me more determined (I had one break up that did that), but I guess it really depends on how you feel that day.
Well, this is thoughtless at best by both of them. Chalk hers up to stupidity. However, you need to say something to your DH. If he thinks it is encouraging, then tell him it's hurtful. If he is nagging, then point out into the back yard and ask him what size dog house he wants.
No kidding - she was a mindless nobody---brush her off she has no value in your life
But if what your dh is doing is hurting you he needs to know and if he STILL does it... thats just mean beyond words and not supportive at all.
I would take a picture of my middle finger and post it everywhere HE could see it if it continued.
Or you could tell him if he doesnt cease and desist there are about 100 women over here who would be willing to barage Dr. Phil with letters until he got interested in dragging his butt on stage for a public talking down.
And he seems genuinely bewildered. He says he believed that seeing what I was hoping to achieve would motivate me more - he says he thought that by envisioning my final goal, I'd feel energized and activated to aggressively go for it!
He sounded very hurt and I ended up feeling bad. He says he put my 1999 photo in his purse, to remind him that I was on the path to becoming the girl he married and that would motivate him to support me by NOT bringing home soda and chips and fast food!
I had to get my picture taken for a school id on Friday. The last picture I had was over 2 years ago (and 25 pounds lighter). The woman taking the photo was the thinnest I've ever seen (about 5' tall and no more than 100 pounds). She had to shred my old id and then hand over the new one. As she was about to shred the older id, she took a peek at it and said "Was that you? Wow, you were pretty!"
OK, is it just me or was that insanely rude? Who...but who ... reminds someone that they USED to be pretty when they were many many pounds lighter as many moons ago?
Yeah, one of my friends said that to me when she saw my high school grad picture. "Oh my gosh, Shelby, you were SO pretty! Um... no, I didn't mean you aren't now, you're still super cute..."
I said to a friend of mine, after seeing her for the first time since she dropped 40 lbs "Oh my god honey YOU LOOK GORGEOUS!" to which she coldly replied "What did I look like before, a big fat cow??"
Sometimes, it's just not quite meant to sound as bad as it comes out.
Glad you talked with hubby.
Ennay - the middle-finger comment made me *actually* laugh out loud.
You WERE so pretty!
