Hey! If you are looking for a good Buddhist book to read, I recommend "When Things Fall Apart" or "Start Where You Are" both by Pema Chodron. She's an ordained Buddhist nun who is a Western woman.
I think you are suffering from medical depression and should consider medication and therapy.
I agree with your mom. Do not lose weight or try to look beautiful for boys...just do it because you want it! I didnt kiss or even hug a boy until I was 23 and now I am happily married with hardly any relationship problems whereas my then "slim trim pretty friends" who had kissed and slept with guys are still roaming around unhappily single/broken relationships. (nothing against people who are single/have had broken relationships)
I found someone who looked beyong my weight and face, even if I found him a bit late...thats ok but I know he loves me for my heart!
You seem to have a wonderful mom and so you are not alone. You volunteer a lot and that makes you a good and kindhearted person that you are and be PROUD of it girl..not everybody is like that!!! I know its hard in your age group because girls or boys wont pay much attention if you dont have a near perfect face and body and will come running to you if you do have these things...but just imagine how superficial persons they may be! do you want such friends at all? or would you rather wait a bit for real good friends?
If you want to motivate yourself there is a great lil book by Richard Bach called "Jonathan Livingston Seagull". Its a small book and the more times you read, the more motivated you will get! Join groups like Curves where you may make new friends.
Hey vouge(is that your real name? its neat if it is, Is it pronounced Vogue like Madonna's song?)
I am also 16! Its really hard. I used to be depressed about my weight, i cried almost every night.. it was really depressing and of course i went to food. I've never kissed a guy eaither, it's okay though because i know most of them our age are beepholes lol. You definatly won't be alone for the rest of your life! there is someone out there for everyone.. as hard as it may seem to realize right now. At the beginning of my weight loss journey, i was losing weight to get a boyfriend too but over time i realized i need this for myself, not some guys. I'm really sorry about the whole situation at school, i know how it is when your best friends become distant. If you ever need to talk to someone in the same age group, i'll be roaming around these boards lol!
Hey in noticed that a few of u guys r teens and im trying to start up like a teen support/club kind of thing and so, yeah i guess im kind of advertising. lol But, go into the "Support Groups" forum and the thread is "Teens-introduction" and it would be great to get to know yall better. I want to start this cuz i think loosing weight as a teen is so differnt than as an adult. Like i have no control over when my mom goes shopping and what she buys and if i go 3 dayz and we have no veggies except frozen broccole, there's not much i can do. So, yeah, hope to see you in the teens thread, and i hope things are going better for you Vouge, u rly r worth it, everyone, should feel that way and its a great attitude to have.
You remind me of myself when I was your age. Of course, I'm only 2 years older than you, so it hasn't been that long ago. You have to learn to not compare yourself to anyone else. Your worth isn't based on your clothing size, your weight, or how many boys you make out with. It's not based on the way you measure up to anyone else either. When you are constantly worn down by others around you, it's hard to see yourself as worthy or priceless, but there comes a point when you just have to put up your blinders and shut everyone else out.
Make some time for yourself. Do things you WANT to do, not things you feel like you're obligated to do. I promise you, things do get a lot better, and you CAN change this. We can all change this, and we're all here fighting together.
thanks for he book recomendations, no I dont think i am clinically depressed I think that I am a hormonal 16 year old ! haha. But william I know what your saying my anerexic friend may have made out with a lot of guys and done some naughty things that i would never do at 16 but have any of those men stayed around? no!
Summernights- no , i made it cause I ahve a fashion obsession which leads to my depression of models and such which Im giving up for now,.
100 percent- yeah but my mom is understanding and will buy those things if I ask her but there is also always browines staring at me on the counter. But yeah when I live on my own I will be eating nothing but helathy saldss, and eveyrthing healthy I am even going vegitarian when i go to college.
wildfire- yeah thanks for the inspirational words.
Vogue,
I was cruisn the site and found your cry for help, after reading all the replies, you have to know there are alot of people that are rooting for ya, me included. I am a mother of 2 girls, one is 23 the other is 18. I went through the struggles with them like your mom is going with you. Trust her, she knows. Both my girls struggle with their weight, the 18 yr old, Chantal battled it from about 13 when she had to start taking medication for depression and ended about 2 yrs later, but packed on the pounds between then. They both never dated, kissed a guy til they we both around 18 (that may sound like forever, but honey, it goes fast) and they are better persons for it. Chantal decided to take steps on her own to do something about her weight and before I knew it she had melted off 26 pounds in around 4 months!! All she did was really watched her portion sizes, and stayed away from the junk food and pop. The confidence she has now is amazing and I know you will have this too. All the advice the gals are givin you here are totally true and remember that with patience and determination you can succeed. Do you have a myspace? I have a space and so do my daughters, its a fun way to meet new people too, but you have to be careful. I would love to add you as a friend if you like, just private message me with your site or I will give you mine.....
Take care
Shirley
