Still though, I don't get why for me, anger and frustration is what sets me off, and for others it's boredom, loneliness, or anxiety.
I'm an anger/frustration gal too.
I decided to try a new shop online/pickup at the store service so I didnt have to haul the kids shopping.
So after lunch today I was supposed to go pick up...What a disaster.... There is a number you are supposed to call when you are ~10 minutes from arrival. no answer. I let it ring FOREVER . One of my new years resolutions is to not drive with the cell phone. Eventually though I give up waiting in the restaurant parking lot. I hit redial, and turn the volume up REALLY loud so I can hear it ring. I figure I can pull over when they answer. They never do...I let it ring for 9:54 . I get to the store and pull into the space where they have a green customer service button. Press the button which spouts out an automatic page. Wait. and wait ....and wait. Finally I dig through everything and find the phone number to a different store in the chain and call them and they get a hold of my store. Because if I was going to have to unstrap both kids and take them into the store someone was going to die. Dips*** who was supposed to be answering the online orders phone had forwarded all calls to his wireless and then turned the unit off.
By this time dd (almost 3) was kicking my seat crying because she loves grocery shopping and wanted to go in the store to buy something and was bored. She screamed loud enough to wake up ds (3 months) who proceeded to scream for the entire drive home.
And what do I find? As a "welcome to the online shopping program" they gave me a free 1/2 gallon of premium organic strawberry ice cream. It took all my will power to drive home frustrated without getting a milkshake and now there is ice cream in my house and I am stressed and pissed.
I had never even HEARD of the term "emotional eating" until a few years ago. I began reading up on diets and emotions and nutrition and exercise and really began to realize how uninformed I was about the whole process!
Apparently foods that we eat DO cause us to remember/react to past situations in our lives. They also cause our bodies to produce certain chemicals that calm us for awhile. It IS a physical process as well as an emotional one.
For me, I needed to actually develop the awareness that I wasn't always eating because I was hungry! Also, I needed better foods to eat that were more nutritious and had more staying power (whole grains, for example).
Something else that I learned was spreading my total daily calories over the day in smaller mini-meals and snacks rather than eating a big amount just a couple times a day. Spreading out the calories, protein, fats, carbs, etc. assures me that I never get totally famished. By not getting super hungry at any one given time, I don't end up stuffing myself like I used to do. I also ALWAYS eat something like an apple or a whole wheat pita spread with some extra crunchy peanut butter BEFORE I go anywhere where there is FOOD! Eating beforehand makes me far less apt to overeat restaurant portions or buy the wrong stuff at the grocery store.
I have also been bringing home 1/2 of every meal that I eat in a restaurant. My skinny teenage son usually intercepts it as I walk in the door! That has helped a lot. He now jokes with me saying, "Hey Mom! Can I HELP you with that?"
Most of all that I have learned has been really NEW STUFF! The newest thing of all is me discovering that I actually LOVE MYSELF now. I don't think I used to even LIKE myself before! As I lose more weight and fit into smaller sizes I think that I am finally caring for myself. I istopped doing that when I got married and had my sons. I was GREAT to everyone else. I was GREAT at my job. I just was NOT GREAT to myself. That's why I let this body put on ONE HUNDRED POUNDS in 25 years! If that's not hating myself, I don't know what is!!!
I wish you much luck on your journey! Please know that you have MANY, MANY people right there with you ON that journey! We may be from all over the world, but the world of weight loss has many caring individuals in it that are there to support you!
Hi Cheryl, thanks for sharing. Sounds like you've really got a handle on things these days. I can relate to the 'after kids' weight gain. Everyone else comes first and it seems as though your/my whole life gets put on the back burner. I think once I became a wife and mom I somehow forgot that I was still and individual with needs. We tend to think our whole purpose in life is to serve the family, or maybe that's what the expectation is. It's easy to ignore yourself when other people are needing things. Good for you for taking time for yourself. I'm taking care of me these days too. Somebody's got to do it!
Thanks for the kind words too.
As for boredom, I think the best way to stop the boredom eating is to keep your hands busy. Learn to knit. Do some gardening. Give yourself a manicure. Get on the forum & type your little heart out! Clean your house (when I am bored, my house is quite clean & shiny!). Lots of things you can do - just keep your hands busy, & your mind will stay busy too, plus, when you're doing something with your hands, you won't use them to feed your face.
So very true. When I feel an attack of the emotioal-eating munchies coming on, I pick up a riduculously hard knitting pattern that takes all of my concentration. My hands stay busy and my mind is totally distracted. Knitting is so good for me!
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I mean why DO we turn to food for comfort? Food, how did that all come about? Well, you know our mother's probably comforted us with food, and their mother's comforted them and so on and so on.
I think a lot of it is about nuturing and comforting. I know I started really 'sneaking' food when my mom when back to college. It ended up being the best thing she could have possibly done for our family, but at the time, it was really hard. Our relationship suffered and I sought comfort in the form of food.
I think it's also similar to someone cutting themselves. Except slightly opposite. Someone who cuts themself is so numb and they want to feel something. Emotional eaters are in pain and want to numb that pain with food. It's awful, and ya'll are right, it's miserablly hard to reprogram the brain to seek other forms of comfort and to face the pain and the problems.
I've picked up knitting again too. It really is a great distraction, isn't it?
I agree about using the food to numb the feelings. I think sometimes when I'm mad or frustrated I start eating just for some type of instant gratification. If I can't fix what's bothering me than I'll eat something and that will at least give me some sense of satisfaction or comfort. Still though, I don't deal with the original problem. Hmmm........? If I do react to whatever is bothering me, instead of eating, will I then not have the urge to reach for the food? No quick fixes I guess. So we can learn coping strateties, and try reprograming our responses to our respective triggers. I think this requires a tremendous amount of self-awareness.
That's why I let this body put on ONE HUNDRED POUNDS in 25 years! If that's not hating myself, I don't know what is
Hugs!
Cheryl
So, then if I put on 160 in twenty years, how much did I hate MYSELF? Because when it comes down to it I suppose you just hit the nail on the head and boy am I sad right now. I find it to be very, very sad that I could let such a thing happen. Incredibly beyond words sad.
The upside to that is your already in the right place. You ARE taking care of yourself now. I really think there is a lot more to weight loss than reducing our intake. I think these little bits of self-discovery are key in being successful with this.
I think putting food in it's proper place and realizing what it's value should be in our lives is also key. It's just food. It is there to provide nutrition and energy so that our bodies can function. It's not here to provide us with comfort or entertainment. Or at least it shouldn't be. I am definitely a work a progress.
I'm sorry that you feel sad, but maybe we all need to get sad enough or mad enough or SOMETHING to get ourselves back into the land of the Skinny Chicks! (I'm reading The Secrets of Skinny Chicks by Karen Bridson and learning so many new things that my head is about to pop off! )
I truly believe that I spent so much time thinking of everyone else that I LOST MYSELF for a lotta years there! SAD isn't a big enough word for THAT!!!
Cheryl I just gotta tell you, you are a great poster!!!! You always have something informative to say.
Okay. Yeah, I guess by only using "sad" kind of minimizes it. And it's not that I got sad and decided to change my life, I had just had enough, and I didn't want to be fat anymore. The time had come to do something wonderful for myself. Something grand. And what could be more wonderful and more grand then losing all this weight? That came right out of my journal. It's one of the first things I wrote in it.
So there's the land of the skinny chicks and then we've got the 3 fat chicks. Hmmm, interesting. Definitely beginning to see a pattern. And yes I do believe that we will indeed do this thing!!!!
We all have foods that bring us happiness when we are feeling blue. Not to blame my parents (but oh well!!)
When I was a kid I was "rewarded" with food. When I was ansty I was given food. When I had to do something unpleasant I was promised food.
Now I do it to myself. I am trying to find other ways to "reward" or "treat" myself. I found a long hot shower helps....you can't eat in the shower!
That is the food that started me on my way to obesity. 
Someone who cuts themself is so numb and they want to feel something. Emotional eaters are in pain and want to numb that pain with food. It's awful, and ya'll are right, it's miserablly hard to reprogram the brain to seek other forms of comfort and to face the pain and the problems.
