God YP1 I am so jealous! You can fit Mango clothes! I had to laugh when you found the 'secret' zip. I have lost count of the number of times I have done that. When I was living at home My mum would be ironing something and saying "oh you have a side zip in this dres" I would deny it and she would show me!!!! It is the same with pockets. She would say how nice a dress/skirt/trousers are and I would say shame there are no pockets and she would look at me and say "what are these then?" Duh.

Hello everyone, and hello Helen - that is dedication to post when on holiday!

I am planning a very relaxing weekend. I will lie in the garden in the shade under the apple trees, apart for the occasional dash into the sun for 10 minutes in an attempt to make my (oh my god my EYES, my EYES) white legs get a little bit more colour and therefore a little less blinding!

What can be upsetting Frus so much?

Kykaree, I almost fall asleep at my desk every day and I don't have the excuse of jet lag! I am soooooo bored at the moment

I'm always doing that - not so bad when its your own clothes, but when I'm describing stuff for sale on eBay it can be a disaster.

I love DH being at home but we always seem to spend a lot of money when he's off work! This week we found a wonderful farm in the Peak District National Park area where they have a tea shop and a farm shop selling their home made pies, pasties, chutneys and pickles and meat / deli products from animals raised on their own farm and a couple of adjoining farms and - best - they only charge about the same as 'normal' meat in Sainsburys so we filled up the freezer!

Some of the chutneys are amazing - blueberry and lavender is my favourite.

We also went swimming in a reservoir with the dogs - that was fun! Blummin' cold though!

Woops! We posted at the same time - what IS wrong with Frus? Any why is she going to the airport??? The mystery deepens!!!

I'm back from the airport!

I had to pick up an American student - she is staying with our company for a month. She's lovely! I like her lots and I'm going to take her shopping, er sightseeing in London next weekend!

I'm less mad, but still mad. If that makes sense.

Ok, a few weeks ago Lee (kickboxing instructor) says that there's going to be a "Martial Arts" weekend away in Bournemouth! WOOHOO, weekend away, no DF, sun sea sand surf and clubbing Really looking forward to it, really excited about it, planning outfits etc. THEN about 2 weeks ago he says one of the instructors has broken up with his girlfriend who is, yes you guessed it, a student They are both from India, but different religions (sunnis & shi'ites I think, but don't quote me!) so of course it was never going to work in the first place. He is now "engaged" to someone else. Anyway, instructor does not want is EX to come on the "Martial Arts" weekend. So Lee asked my advice about what to do. My solution, it's HIS problem, if he doesn't want his ex coming then he should be the one to tell her. Lee suggested that maybe I could organise a girlie weekend and stay in a different hotel from the boys (WTF??? I don't even know where Bournemouth IS let alone how to get there and where to stay!!!) Plus he asked me to ask around and see which girlies wanted to actually go on this weekend. He KNOWS I wanted to go, I don't think anyone else had been enquiring about the weekend. I'd ask every lesson, "What's happening about Bournemouth?"

Soooooooo I asked last night, "What's happening about Bournemouth?" And Lee says. It's going to be a boys weekend. WTF??? I'm so sorry I wasn't born with the right equipment for you. It's not like there's many girls who even wanted to go... Just me, and perhaps one other girl who hasn't been asking about what's happening.

So I'm really MAD! I feel like it's worse than being at school. I've been excluded for no reason and it's just stupid and childinsh. They've been on boys' weekends before, last year (they said they would do a girls' weekend but that NEVER HAPPENED) and that's fine, if they want a boys weekend, fine by me. BUT don't sell it as a group bonding Martial Arts weekend then say girls, it's just us boys. And you guys know how hard I train, twice or three times a week every week. There are some guys going on the boys' weekend who don't even come to lessons, so it's hardly a martial arts weekend!!!!!

THEN Lee says, Oh it's on the 29th. Hint hint. Like he wants us to book our own place and then GATECRASH the boys weekend. SO NOT HAPPENING. I know where I'm not wanted and the "boys" took a vote that it was going to be a "boys" weekend. Well DUH - ask a kid if it wants cake... You KNOW the answer!

Thing is, I don't want to go now, because it's "supposed to be a boys weekend" and I'm not gatecrashing and I don't want Lee to say to the other guys, "Jen's really upset, we should invite the girls." Because that would be even more awkward. I'm not going down to Bournemouth by myself and I don't really get on well with the other girl who's kinda up for it. So I wouldn't really enjoy a girls-gatecrashing-the-boys weekend. Plus, who wants to be in the position of being the gatecrasher.

So I really want to ring him up and tell him how hurt I am (crying till midnight) about him going back on his word about it being a mixed weekend. BUT I don't want him to "solve" anything, because NOW I don't want to go because it will be all horrible and awkward.

I just feel like I fight so hard for equality (literally) in class. I am the only girl at the advanced class - I am breaking into being the only female instructor. I really feel that me not going on the boys weekend is just another way to keep the girls suppressed. That may not be the case, and generally all the guys are lovely and only 1 hates women, but I FEEL that way. Personally I'm not surprised that their aren't more girls at a higher level if this is what you get for giving yourself to the club 100%.

Rant over.

Anyone got any suggestions about what I should say to Lee when I phone him soon? Basically I'm just going to tell him that I'm hurt about his decision about the Bournemouth weekend, AND that there's nothing really he can do to "fix" it.

HUMP

Tell him men are pigs. How can you be excluded because an instructor has broken up with his girlfriend? You should organise a trip for just students.

I wouldn't be able to go on that one either

I am going to tell him, don't you worry about that! I just rang him up but he said it's not "convenient" to talk right now (ie he's with one of the "boys").

Even more annoyed and will not get much work done this afternoon. One of our placement students has left and the other one is crying his eyes out. Bless him! Respect to a man in touch with his feelings.

What a horrible thing to happen! I thought most groups nowadays don't tolerate sexism, racism - or any other kind of 'ism' - because what he is suggesting is definitely sexist. Does he have a boss you can discuss this with? This is so WRONG!

I think I'd tell him exactly how you feel (excluded, segregated, side-lined, etc) Be calm, don't rant, just tell him that you 'expected better of him' - and then suggest that the planning of future events should be thoroughly thought out in advance - and should take place as planned irrespective of changes in the instructors' love-lives!

Thats really shitty tell them to get over themselves.

Its either a group thing or a boy thing but it should be clear from the outset.

Well of coruse I cannot say what you should do but personally, the inner b*tch in me hopes none of the girls go and they have a sh*t time!!

Just because 2 people break up? Those two should not go - they are spoiling it for everyone else!!!

Bournemouth is down South. You can get there by National Express from Victoria and other places quite cheaply actually.

Yes you can, you can make up your own rules like they are.

2 frus why don't you girls go somewhere else - Brighton is good for shopping!

Sod 'em.

Bah! I told him that I felt completely ostracized and he was really dissapointed that it was only going to be a "boys" weekend too. He's kinda saying he didn't really organise it and "next time" it's going to be a martial arts weekend.

His excuse was it's always been a boys weekend, but NEXT time it's going to change! Pah! Well I am in charge of the "next time" and newsletter and it will be sorted out. But that's a whole bloody year away. I'm just really dissapointed with the whole scheme of things. Blood will be flowing when I get my hands on the instructor with the EX.

He's saying that this is an issue we might come across because I'm infiltrating the group of "boys" being an instructor now. He takes the "boys" out for pizza and cinema and stuff and next time I will be invited and they'll have to stick it. But for now it's a boys weekend and Jen out on her ear. Thanks. Like I said, there's nothing he could really do to fix it now, but he could've at least stuck by his "martial arts weekend" word, especially since he'd already promised it to us gals. I'm just dissapointed in him, but he reckons that he didn't really have much to do with organising this weekend. I don't really have much of a gripe with Lee personally I was kinda expressing my dissapointment that he went back on his martial arts weekend thing. He also said that at least 2 boys wouldn't be going if girls were there. Well he's lost 2 people by saying that girls can't go, and he's thoroughly pissed one off. I don't think I'll be looking at the people I train with in the same way any more. Which is a shame, since it was supposed to be a "bonding" weekend. It's just wedged us apart instead.

Jen, I hope you told him exactly that. Sometimes blokes just don't think things through carefully enough. Lets hope he remembers to tell the others that you, as an instructor, are now their equal and should be included in all their future bonding weekends.

TBH, I'm not sure I would really want to bond with people (male OR female) who are so thoughtless.

Infiltrating the group??? What are you? A Spy? A cockroach? An infectious disease. No, you are a (gasp!) woman! Oh Jeez! Run for the hills it's a woman! AAAARGH!

In Bournemouth on the red alert in case Women infiltrate it????

Those attitudes are enough to make me start kickboxing!!! Give em a lethal blow from me!!!