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Old 12-04-2015, 04:49 AM   #1  
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Default Lonely new member!

Hello, let me introduce myself! Apologies in advance for my very boring life story:

I'm 25, and have always been overweight. I swing between not minding and hating myself fairly regularly and have done for as long as I can remember. At my heaviest I was 285lbs, and my lightest I can remember around 230lbs.

I have a beautiful 16 month old little girl (M) and I am a stay at home mum. I struggle with boredom eating/grazing throughout the day when we are home. I gained 35lbs when I was pregnant with M and had managed to lose 33lbs of that by the time she was 9 months old at which point I discovered I was pregnant with number 2 (H)! I'm obviously not aiming to lose any weight atm, just trying to limit how much I gain this time - so far I'm 33 weeks and am 20lbs up (269lbs)

I have struggled with unhealthy dieting in the past, starving myself and making myself be sick etc and I work really hard to keep away from that now.

I've never had many friends, I have 3 close friends from school along with my sister and my sister in law. The friends I made at uni got pushed away as a result of an unhealthy and abusive relationship I was in and we never made up. My school friends are all in a completely different point in their life to me, none have kids or serious relationships and I feel like we've become really distant. I suffer with some anxiety and have basically convinced myself that they don't like me anymore because they don't seem to make any effort to stay in touch with me 😣

What I'm really looking for is some friends who are in a similar position, or who can relate to how I'm feeling that I can chat to about how I'm feeling, get (and give) support and just general chat as I feel really lonely and pathetic tbh!

Thanks if you've managed to make it to the end of my moaning!
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Old 12-05-2015, 03:04 AM   #2  
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I had my first two children 18 months apart, and I found it very isolating as well. I like the spoon theory, if you've ever heard of it? Basically, your daily energy amount is like a handful of spoons and there are only so many to go around. You need to spend your spoons on your little family right now rather than using them to go chasing after people who are "too busy" to be your friend.

I depended heavily on internet friendships while they were small, and the only places we went were toddler play groups. You aren't pathetic AT ALL, just at a very demanding life stage that doesn't have the flexibility that your former friends have. You'll get there.

As for eating, try to focus on eating quality nutrients for you and the baby. It's not too late to change things up a bit - it will give you more energy for your toddler and help you through labour, delivery and recovery. I wish you all the best! Having two little ones close together is intense for a while, but soon they will be playing together and everything will suddenly "click". At least, that was my experience.
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Old 12-13-2015, 07:18 AM   #3  
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Hi Becky,

Congradulations on the little buns :>

I won't pretend to understand what it's like being a woman, pregnant, or having to look after a little girl whilst losing weight

But i will say that not eating isn't the answer, i'm sure you know this. The solution is obviously to eat, find a whole range of healthy foods which you enjoy/might enjoy and keep them stocked regularly

Don't dip into junk foods or snacks, plan your days so if you get hungry there's a piece of fruit or sandwhich you can eat if you're out and about, keep a bottle of water handy

I'm not an expert on eating healthy during pregnancy and definitely recommend both self studying and asking for help/advice from other mums and your doctor knowledge is power when it comes to your diet

For excercise i'd recommend looking into strengthening key areas, legs and back(lower back) spring to mind when thinking about your situation.

Again i'm no expert but recommend going to one and finding a range of excercises to suit your needs, focus not onto one excercises which help during pregnancy but also excercising to strengthen key areas you need support in

As an example, my lower back and right knee both have old injuries and are focused areas for pain and problems, i work targetted excercises to stregthen these areas and the support areas which help take the weight off them and relax and do lots of simple balance excercises to keep me stable and help prevent injury

Good lucky with the new baby, trust that there are others who understand what you're going through
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Old 12-14-2015, 04:16 PM   #4  
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Hi Becky! I understand your feelings so well- I feel the same way, and I'm finding sadly that this site isn't as welcoming as I had hoped- but I would love to talk to you and help in any way I can
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Old 12-26-2015, 11:18 AM   #5  
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Hey all, hoping you are still coming back! I'd love to suggest you look around a bit, find some active threads whose conversations interest you and jump right in!

I was a sahm too. It's certainly something I am eternally grateful for, but it is necessary to find some adults to visit with!

Hope to see you all around lots!!
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Old 01-04-2016, 04:55 AM   #6  
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Hi everyone, thanks for your replies. I didn't mean to be rude and not reply, I've just been feeling a bit down. As usual I put on too much weight over Christmas 😣 but I've got new focus and am concentrating on eating healthily for bub (who is due in just 2 weeks!!!) It's been really easy to put off changing my habits until "after baby is born" but I realise that's just a load of rubbish as it will be just as hard once he's born so I might as well start now! I will try and update on my progress as often as I can and would love to chat to anyone who wants to - feel free to pm me 😊
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