I don't think I am depressed, normally I am cheerful, but I do get down sometimes, like we all do. Just feeling a sad, missing something, and feeling a little lonley of a special kind of friendship. A touch of melancholy! This is normal. The trouble is, feeling down gets me cheering myself up with biscuits and lots of toast. I went over my cals today and fat. But it wasn't real binge territory, that is something.

I do agree that I will feel happier if I spend more freetime doing something more valuable than sitting about! I need to learn this, and in turn as I get slimmer I hope it gets easier not to be so lethargic and worn down! Thank you for caring, you are so sweet xxxxx

I know that feeling, like something's missing.

Had that yesterday... Then I realised it was my mums birthday... I hate not being there with my parents at those sort of things. Birthdays and especially christmas's (when I can't get to Germany) are haaaarsh. Chokes me up thinking about it. which is silly coz i know I'm going again this year and I'm already getting excited coz I should be about halfway to goal by then.

Are you close to your family Jose? I was always a daddys girl... But now me and mum are really close... In a long distance way lol. We email every week, and I know shes always at the end of the phone if I need her.

I guess what I'm saying is that we all need love, whether is from a lover or from family. Even if we cant have a hug when we need it at least we know its there waiting for us... Oh crap I'm crying.... Homesick much?! Jeez!! I'm gonna go before I flood the forum with tears lmao what am I like?!

Awwww, you have family away also? I did not know you are German. My family mostly live away too. I have always been very close to my mother, I miss seeing her as often as I like, and hardly ever extended family. I have a difficult relationship with my father and one of my brothers but I love them still too. Luckily though I get to see my dearest lovely older sister often though. She is a super fit, a model and teaches classes at the gym of dance based exercise, will you beleive!! Despite this she never has any shame of me.

Sorry... probably more than anyone asked... just I love them, I like to talk of them. I feel you love your family so much too. I listen if you ever wish to talk of them. We are lucky to have them but unlucky to have them far away.

I get a little lonely as i can't always have family around me and have no relationship (I am very unlucky in love!) But I do have good friends around me, and now wonderful support here!!
Mwwaaaah, you all so lovely xxxxxx

I'm half german on my dads side. They moved over there about 9 years ago now... Wow... That's a long time lol. They moved there so my dad could look for his biological mum, turns out she wants nothing to do with us. Her "new" family know nothing about her past. Its a v.long story that I won't go into now.

The rest of my family are on Berkshire so not really in arms reach, and to top it off I'm an only child.. Haaaarsh I know... And sometime I wonder how I cope, but I do. That's kind of where my depression stemmed from amongst other things, but I'm done with that... I hope lol.

Well I'm off to bed now... Busy day working out and waiting for our stupid front door to be sorted... Kinda lol night all

*Huggles* xxx
He might not have a mother who cares but he has a wonderful daughter who does!!

Hmmm...
I feel a little pathetic because whilst I try hard, it is definitely NOT easy to stay in my calories. But My Fitness Pal says I can have nearly 3000 a day so this is a lot compared to what a normal person who isn't even dieting eats!

However, it suggests that at this rate I'll lose weight at just over a pound a week. This is supposed to be a healthy rate. BUT this sounds very slow, it'll take forever. I figured it'll take me nearly 5 years to reach my target weight. It'll take me nearly 2 years to even get out of the 'super morbidly obese' catagory. Which I am very keen to get out of!

But then, I suppose it took me several years to gain all the weight so maybe that is just how it goes?

I could aim for fewer calories but I also worry i won't be able to stick to it if I did that. Big challenges ahead, i wish I had more patience!
xxx

It is hard work. Whoever says it isn't is a liar. Patience is key to this, and try not to think of how long it might take you to get there, but the fact that you WILL get there at some point. You didn't put the weight on overnight, so getting it off will take time. In terms of the calories... I would say, get yourself into the rhythm of your current cal intake and see how you do, you might loose a pound a week, you might loose 2. Everyone is different.

I started out on 1500, and after a few weeks I found it difficult to eat that much as my appitite started to decrease. So I brought it down to 1300 and I'm feeling good. It's all about finding the right balance for you. But give your body and mind time to settle in, and look at it again later on.

Like I said the other night, I started just by cutting my sugar intake, more water and 3 good meals a day with plenty of fruit. Educated myself for a few weeks in what was good and bad, and took it from there. The body might be willing, but if you're anything like me, the mind might be a bit slower to understand what you're doing.

Oooh Noooooo!!!!
I was having a really good day; I really wanted a cooked breakfast but I did it the best way possible, all grilled and things, lowest possible fat options. It came in under 700cals so not bad.
Because I had had that, I skipped lunch but I was still full enough from breakfast. Then I did some shopping on the home... THEN I realised I was actually really hungry and started some cooking. Within just over an hour I ate nearly 3000cals, OMGod!!!!!!!! What is wrong with me?? I actually still feel hungry now!!!!!!!! Oh ****, I better do some serious exercise and hardly any eating tomorrow. I can't beleive I did that, I HATE that about myself and feel rightly ashamed!!
I feel guilty that you even supportive to me when I just mess up and lose all control like this!
xxx

blip!!

A MASSIVE one! I have some massive making up to do. Oh my Gosh, I think there is something wrong with me, I have a deficiency of willpower and control. I don't deserve anyone saying anything nice. I probably shouldn't have posted this. Actually I just shouldn't have DONE IT!
xxx

It takes time for your brain to get the message!!! It takes your whole body to get used to this change. Mentally too it is soooo hard the first few weeks babe. I nearly flipped the eff out coz people were trying my patience and it made me want to eat. But I didn't. It's all about the support. And while we may not be able to take the pain, or the disappointment away but we can listen and be a metaphysical sholder to lean on lol

As Lozz said, it's a blip. Draw a line underneath it and move on. It DOES take time to get into it and as long as you are making small changes then you're on the right track. Don't be tempted tom starve yourself the next day to make up for it - just get back to healthy eating or you'll be more likely to binge again as you are so hungry.

I find I can't even have junk food in the house or I'm likely to crack and scoff it all so I get your willpower issues.

Keep at it!

It's interesting the way you've written this - very much skipping past the overeating part as fast as possible. Suggests you're feeling guilty, is that right?

If you're feeling guilty for overeating, then stop it! All you'll do is make yourself worse and make it harder to succeed. It was a blip, these things happen to all of us. It doesn't matter that a blip happened, what matters is what you choose to do next - give up in despair or crack on with it and try to make healthier choices next time.

What happened, though? Cooking 3000 calories of food takes time; what was going through your head? It's worth thinking about even if you don't want to talk about it, because then you'll perhaps be better prepared next time. Also, what did you cook? Because whatever it was, it may help if you don't have the ingredients to make it in the house next time!

Don't dwell on it, but remember how bad you feel now. And next time this is about to happen, think about how bad you felt, and how little you want to feel that bad again. You will get the hang of this. It just takes time.

I think that was my mistake Elliemar, even buying the stuff. I think I thought since I'd had a hard long week, I'd relax and treat myself- in my mind that still means food. So I bought some noodles and things, make fried noodles with meat and eggs and things. The thing is it was about 3 or 4 portions worth but I ate it all. I also ate a whole extra large bag of prawn crackers and a whole packet of chocolate bicuits. I had eaten a prepacked sandwich on the way home too. So that is kind of how it happened Brid.

Of course I feel very guilty Brid, you are a wise one, who can read between the lines of language. I feel guilty because I let myself down after all the hard work I did this week, I guess this will cancel out a whole lot of that. And I feel guilty because I knew I'd have to own up on here, and it feels like I am throwing back in your faces the great support and beleif you have given me.

And I also feel guilty because before my diet this kind of eating was fairly normal for me. I don't know if that is shocking or not- I suppose you don't get to over 400lb for no reason. And I never counted how many cals that might be (I chose to go with the 'ignorance is bliss' approach!). It makes me feel awful to think I had got into a habit of eating 4000, 5000, even more than that cals everyday. I wish I hadn't let myself get to this point
xxx

Don't despair Joselo I bet there isn't one person on this site that doesn't feel the way that you do..."why did I let myslef get to thispoint???" But by facing up to th efigures and taking control, food slowly breaks it's stranglehold....you will get there
sorry about the rubbish spelling!