A pep talk
Hi,
Well, I was up BIG time at Thursday's weigh-in. I gained 3.75 lbs. Since I was ready for it I'm doing ok with it, because I know that I did it to myself and I also know that I can undo it as well.
The good thing is that I'm still under the weight I've promised myself I will never go back over again and that's 245. I had a heart-to-heart talk with myself, in front of the full length mirror. I asked myself a really important question: Do I want to stay where I am or do I want to continue on in my weight loss journey. It was something I had to be real with myself about. Right now, I'm doing ok. I'm finding cute clothes I like. I can even wear regualr XL t-shirts. I'm fairly fit. I can bench press 65 lbs and walk 2 miles in 30 min. Men find me attractive (I was shocked by this!--my husband pointed it out to me) and my husband loves me as long as I'm happy with me. From a health point I'm doing ok. Blood pressure is good, cholestrol is good, etc. My doctor even comments that I'm in great shape despite my weight. But you know what? I want to be under 200..so I'm not staying where I am...I want that 199 (actually I've set my goal as 170 and a size 12-14)...so I'm choosing to go on. It was high time I had that talk with myself.
I'm a huge Oprah fan. I subscribe to her magazine and the April issue is a great one. In her column, What I know for sure, she is talking about: The Ultimate in being healty is to operate at full throttle-physcially, emotionally and spirturally...I WANT that. She talks about struggling with what she thought was a weight problem for over 25 years, instead of looking at my out-of-balance life and how I used food to repress the facts. (Ladies that's me!). She goes on to talk about caring for your true self and about conquering the fear that we need to work through instead of overeating. She says "Conquer the fear and you'll fly. This is the par that got me: "You need to schedule more rest and stop sprinting through your life as though it's some race you have to win. You've already won. You're still here, and with another chance to get it right, to do better, and be better--staring now".
So if you are doing well...keep going...you are an inspiration to the rest off us...continue to tell us how great it feels to do this to take care of yourself.
For those who have lost their way...every day is a chance to get it right...keep pushing through...have that talk with yourself...in that same article I was readying Oprah says "What you do today creats every tomorrow. To own the abundant life that's waiting for you, youv'e got to be willing to do the real work. Not your job. Not your career profile. But heading your spirt, which is whispering it's greatest desires for you. You've got to get silent sometimes to hear it. An check in regularly. You must feed your mind with reading material, thoughts, and ideas that open you to new possibilities."
I've put the entire article in my journal. I know I"ll have to pull it out and read it again and again..but for me I know it's time...and I'm starting NOW.
Today I went with our friends to Children's Hospital while there 16 month old was beign checked out for a heart mummer. Thanks be to God that she is healthy and it's nothing to be worried about. You want to talk about knowing what's important...it was very effident to me today.
I'm detoxing ladies...no sugar sweets...I made it though today without them. I journaled, I posted, I napped (we were off work for Good Friday) and I'm happy.
How are you doing?
Susie
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