Sue....You just keep pushing babe. I was going to aviod you all for a couple of days but Lee told me No. So here I am. Before I spill this let me tell you My Hubby thinks this board is great and he is amazed at what a difference it makes. He evn asks now...have you posted today? He was not supportive when I first started he said oh ssure 15 lbs and it over we have gone through this so many times. Being A Sioux I looked at him and said" we who white man!" Every time I see him he is eating junk !
Now he has seen such a difference and I am Op daily....unless suffering from terminal stupidity. Then I think I am op...sigh live and learn.
I have cried all day. I haven't slept more than five hours in two days trying to care for my Sweet Puppy cat. He is 10 months old and dead today. God I hurt so bad. The vise grip on my heart is really tight and my eyes are swollen, my stomach is all tore up. My chest is wet from all the tears. I guess that's one way to lose the extra water. I am Op and will continue to be so. Pups had feline luekemia and suffered a total kidney failure. He lost so much weight .I was force feeding him in hopes that the Vet could help him........its just.........if you had asked me I would have told you that I could take no more but I guess God thought i am alot stronger than I feel. To much you know. My Beloved Son Tiny, Che and now pups ...my pups,my little pups. He was so sweet and gentle as beautiful inside as out. My Simba and Chi are also sick. I have to nurse them now. How much can I take in such a short time. These are my children. I haven't children of the skin, these are mine. I don't know how to love half way and wouldn't want to. Be it friends, family, or children of the fur. I have been blessed in my life to be greatly loved by people and animals one hundred percent. I have loved them 100 percent and as much pain as it can be at time there is just as much joy in the giving and recieving of such total love. I would never change that. Right now I am an open wound as so many are in this country right now. Being in this group doesn't help , it doesn't make it easier for any of us I am sure. I just have to got through it over and over again. At ths time I feel like so many pieces of me is gone that I am bleeding to death myself. A chunk here , a chunk there.
I am again so broken hearted. There are three little graves beneath my bedroom window now and tonight there wwill be afooorrtth. Four little loves. I just keep crying.once aagain a big vet bill that causes hardship financially as well, but I have my remaining children who have to be treated for this virus. God help me no more for a long while ,no more. Please God no more. I haven't evn gotten over Tiny, my beloved son. This is pointless I just have to maanage. I am sso ssorry to be so miserable. I really didn't think you all need to to hear all of this and bring everyone down. I want you all to keep Op and do well to be enthusiastic and happy. Laugh and enjoy your bus ride despite what ever set backs you may have had. I hope I can sleep soon. I will be back and don't worry I will not fall. This has nothing to do with my goals, remaining OP or any of this although my water has suffered a good bit. Soda eases my stomach and at the moment I really need that not want it. Take care all.
Love you all,
Pam
P.S. Ok Lee my dear I have followed your advise. Look now Ive rained on everyone go get them some towels and help dry them all off. Talk to you soon.
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