melissa.. i think you must have done your best with kate, and if she makes bad choices, it's not your fault. what can you do? you have little ones (hers!) to think about. and yourself of course. i guess not having kids, it's easy to say, but sometimes you need to do things just for you. don't feel bad if you want to limit your interactions with her. people only have so much to give.
as for me, good news and bad. the bad is, my favorite jeans don't really fit anymore (and were too expensive to replace.. my awesome mama gave them to me, and boy is she a spendthrift.) the good news is that they are too big. yay!