Jill, baby, congratulations on the job offer!! I know you've been bummed about your current job. Maybe that will light a spark under my behind, ha.

You're right, I'm going to go stay with my friend at a hotel for a couple of nights and we'll do some running around sans Rob. I think he has it stuck in his mind that she doesn't like him, and I really don't think that's true. She doesn't even know him. Plus he takes it too seriously. I only see her once every 5 years or so, not like she's in the same neighborhood and I see her all the time so that it has to even be an issue.

I feel like it's really tough for me to give you any advice with your situation. I don't know Jeff, and if I'd hate to steer you in any kind of direction that wouldn't be helpful. I'll give you my take, and you can decide how relevant it is.

Jeff may have been a little freaked out about moving in with a woman (you), since it's a serious commitment, especially for a guy in his twenties who basically never lived on his own. It's been my experience that younger guys have a tougher time with the idea of being in a serious relationship, while girls/women tend to seek that out from a younger age. He may or may not have done something stupid, and then may or may not have lied about it to you.

Really it's not that he doesn't need to lie to you, he shouldn't lie to you. And I hate threats, they're immature and hurtful and destructive, and Rob has done it and deserves a smack on the head for doing it (I don't literally smack him on the head, but I tell him I don't respond well to threats). They're usually done in the heat of a moment.

I can't tell you whether you should pursue this with Jeff or not, but in any instance you shouldn't feel like you can't stand up for yourself, in a calm, mature, self-assured way. Like after you got upset initially after seeing the email and you had discussions with him, to tell him then that you don't appreciate being lied to (I'm not telling you that he did or didn't), you don't appreciate being threatened.

You deserve to be treated well, and if you show him that's what you need and want, he'll respond. You shouldn't feel like you have to sweeten him up to confront him with bad behavior. You can say stuff like "I'm not trying to attack you," or "I'm not against you." It's not always easy to hear criticism or to face bad behavior, I know that from both sides of that fence.

You're attractive, productive, hard working, affectionate person. Don't sell yourself short for anybody.

Oh, man, I still SO on cloud 9 about this job offer. It is just such a relief, like SO much stress has been taken off my shoulders. Jeff is very excited for me, too--I was infectiously happy last night, so every time he looked at me and saw me smiling, he couldn't help but smile, too :p

As for the Jeff chat, yeah, it didn't happen. I was too giddy, and then we had to watch American Idol (priorities, ya know ;) ). I think you and I see things quite similarly, Marge. Some people said I should have dumped him based on his reaction back when things were all fired up, but I know he was just being defensive and heated, and I was so heated (and emotional and freaked out) that I wasn't thinking clearly enough to even clearly or maturely respond to his threat, ya know? We were both being immature (at 23, imagine that :dizzy: ), and I really have to evaluate whether or not it's worth brining up again--after all, the only reason I even know he lied at all is that I wasn't completely honest about all I knew, either :o I'll probably still bring up some stuff, but honestly, I just feel so happy about the job situation right now that I'm wondering if some of my job stress just stressed me out more about our relationship? Because now that I am so happy about work, problems with Jeff seem a million miles away (especially after how happy he was for me last night!).

I was all set for a talk with him last night. He got home and sat at his computer, and I sat on the floor near his computer (as I often do), and he could tell something was up. Normally, he would just start playing his game while I went and made dinner, but instead, we spent a lot of time kinda cuddling. I told him I'd had a bad day at work, and whenhe asked me what happened to make it a bad day, I told him, "I had to go in." I explained how every day is the same and how sick I am of it all, and I put my head on his knee, and he just pet my hair and kissed me on the forehead. He could definitely tell I had a lot on my mind, but then when that phone rang, and I talked to my new future boss, it was like everything just disappeared :D

I don't want to completely cop out on talking to him--it'll happen. Our 2-year anniversary is next week. That's a long time to go with only having had one major issue throughout the relationship, so I think we're doing pretty well.

Good for you, Jill. I know how easy it is for me to confuse job angst with relationship angst with life angst, etc.

I think Chris may be the one to go the distance on AI, time will tell. Maybe with the extra money you two can take a nice weekend somewhere.

HOLY COW!!! There is SO much snow here... I am talking 1/2 - 1 inch!!! BTW, thats a lot of a city by the ocean! It's NOT melting and cars are just ramming into eachother everywhere! Josh made it to work alright, and will come pick me up, he thinks it's safer to drive than for me to walk. Especially since I'm STILL stuck in flip flops! My boss still wants me to go in at my regular time, uhm, well, her choice... because we aren't gonna any customers. My friend called to tell me how her bf was standing outside watching all the cars hit eachother or get stuck.

I gotta shower for work.. i'll be back though!!

-Aimee

Sheesh....it's amazing when snow falls in a place that never gets any..it seems to send the city into a state of panic! I grew up in Indiana, so driving in snow and ice and whatnot is not a big deal at all....now if it snowed HERE in Florida....YIKES!

Aimee, I forget: when do you leave?

Jill: there will be another opportunity to talk to Jeff about what is bothering you. And you'll know it when it comes along.

So when do you start your new job? More importantly: what is it? LOL

Jen - I live in Vancouver, BC. Or rather just a little outside of the city in a place called Coquitlam. I live up a mountain, and no one here buys winter tires. I grew up in Winnipeg, and then lived in the interior of BC and learnt to drive in the snow, with some black ice.. coming down a mountain and if your car slips you fall down the edge of the mountain. So snow I can normally handle, it's just CRAZY, we are into spring/summer here!

Jill - so what are the details of this job? Where is it? Is there a commute? I am stubborn, and if my bf said to me "if you bring it up one more time I'm dumping you", I would have been SO mad, I would have screamed, but only because to ME, it's disrespectful. It would feel to me like he was saying that he doesn't validate my feelings and doesn't care. Josh and I were lucky enough to have an issue early on in the relationship, he danced with another girl when I was 600km's away, we talked about it and said the cheating is the one thing neither of us will tolerate. There are no chances, and no lying. In that sense we are very lucky to have found eachother, we feel the same on those things.

Marge - I think it's great you are still going to spend the time with your friend, it'll totally be worth it. And maybe make Rob think twice.. I know Josh hates to be left out of things... heh. I often go off without him when he doesn't want to go.

On that note, Josh is on his way to pick me up! It shall be very quiet at my work today, so I will bring something to read! Have a good day :)

-Aimee

haha, it amazes me that there are people who don't know how to drive in snow. I grew up in CT, so we usually had snow on the ground from around Halloween till Easter. When I moved to Va Beach and it snowed maybe an inch, business were closed, accidents were everywhere, and grocery stores were packed--it was surreal! I guess it all depends on what you're used to, and that scene was just such a shock to me :dizzy:

I DEFINITELY love Chris for AI. I love Taylor Hicks as well, but he's clearly not really AI material, but I think the exposure will certainly help him in his future music career. I also love Mendisa, but I don't know if anyone is really as equally talented and genuine as Chris. Plus, he's cute ;) Of course, Jeff likes Catherine--he thinks she's a good singer and is very pretty. I agree, but there's something about the way she moves on stage--strange little mannerisms and stuff that kinda get on my nerves.

Oh, the new job is working for USIS (US Investigation Services, I think). They're a defense/security contractor (much like the company I work for now, just more focused, as my current company does ALL kinds of contracts, not just defense--obviously, since I do work for Medicare :p ). I'll be researching new RFPs for the company to bid on and working on writing proposals. The manager seemed SOOO nice when I talked ot her yesterday. She said she believes in getting people where they want to be, so if I am a good worker but realize that, hey, I want to work in Operations, she'll help get me there. She's also extremely flexible with vacation time (I told her I needed a day off in April for my sister's wedding...NON-negotiable! ;) ), and she said that even though the company doesn't technically have a comp time policy, she let's her group basically do comp time if they don't want to use vacation time. I also asked abou flexibility in hours (since right now I work 7am-3pm), and she said she doesn't care if I work 5am-noon as long as I get stuff done. She also said some people even do a lot of work from home since the company provides everyone in the group with their own laptop :o I'm not sure it could sound more perfect!

Wowie! It does sound good! I'd take advantage of the work from home thing, at least part of the week. Alan does that now--he is in the office 3 our of 5 days. I definitely can't do that with my job! But that's okay--I really love the company I work for!

Good morning! So glad this week is coming to a close!

Well, it looks like we will be moving out of our apartment by the middle of April. We are going to stay with friends who have just bought a house close by. They should close sometime in the middle of the month. We'll stay there until either: A--the house we are building is done, or B--until we can't stand it anymore. It's hard to tell what is going to happen.

Anyone seen Kimberley lately? I haven't seen her post for a few days!!

Holy cow... MORE snow! As we drove to work yesterday the car started to slide, and our A.B.S. brakes kicked in, which was the first time I'd ever heard them do that before. I don't know that I was able to breathe until we hit the main roads which were salted and clear. I'm just not down with this whole sliding thing!

Where IS Kimberley??

I am off to work! Have a good one!

-Aimee

Hey, everyone. Sorry I've been scarce. My MIL and I both have a nasty cold and I'm still having troubles with my jaw. It's not my teeth, but inflammation in my jaw. I hope the bite guard I'm using at night helps, providing it's because of clenching or grinding my teeth that my jaw has hurt so badly.

I've lost 3 pounds this week...FINALLY! :encore: I'm back down to 203 now.

Jill, that's *fantastic* about your new job! The fact you can work part of the time from home is wonderful.

Speaking of which, I need to get some work done. We have to turn in our hours every Friday now, so I need to get moving here. Tonight I'm going to a crop with my friend Ivana. It's at a scrapbook store from 6pm-Midnight, and we're going as part of the Columbus Scrappers. Every month, different scrapbook stores open their work areas to the group and there's no charge to go use the facilities. They do service projects, too.

Howie and Ivana's husband Keith are going to see a movie and get pizza. We really like this couple and it's fun to have people to do stuff with like this.

Rob and I went to the DMV today to change my California license over to a New York one. My Cal DL expires in May, and I figured, hey, it's been 19 years since I've been living in New York, guess it's time, heh heh. We got to the office early, before it opened, and the line went down the freakin' block, I couldn't believe it. Luckily I had all the paperwork and ID ready, so it ended up taking us an hour altogether, which isn't bad for the DMV.

Afterwards we went shopping at Target (right across the street from DMV), then we took the subway to Brooklyn Heights to have lunch. It was early and everything was closed. We were starving though, we finally found a Mexican place that would let us sit at the table while they got ready, ha.

We even ended up sitting in the park before we came home.

I can't believe it's snowing where you are, Aimee, it's 70 here and sunny.
Yeah, I talked to Rob again about the friend visiting, and it's not that big a deal. Rob is planning on eating spam and running around the apartment in his underwear while I'm gone.

That's so cool you're building your own house, Jen.

SPAM??? LOL

Yeah, that's the plan. We've wanted to do this for awhile, but we have run into obstacle after obstacle. Hopefully the way will be clear very soon to proceed!

This is the type of house we are looking to build: http://www.deltechomes.com/

Not only is it hurricane resistant, but it is unique! There are only a couple of them in our immediate area. The best thing about it is there is NO wasted space because of the design. We are planning to do two levels, each level about 1000 square feet. The main living will be on the second level, while the lower level will be a home gym, entertainment area, laundry room and extra bedroom. The plan is to get the shell up and get it liveable enough to move in before it is finished, then finish it while we live there. I have to admit, I'm a bit nervous about the whole thing. I've never done anything like this before! It is a HUGE undertaking. But this is where we want to stay for the next 30 or 40 years, so why not make it the way we want it?

Hey, Jen - The link you posted had timed out. What's the model called so we can search for it? It would be neat to build a house, even with the headaches; I love the thought of being able to plan the house around OUR needs instead of being limited by the house. I'd kill for a studio area.

Sarah & Lorraine's house sure looks neat. Have you seen the photos at Sarah's blog?

http://www.deltechomes.com/

Try that one, Kimberley! We're looking at the Savannah (I think that's the one! I don't know if that is on the site or not.

Yes I did she Sarah and Lorraine's house! Pretty awesome!