Melissa, there is a name for what you're describing, when you lose a lot of weight but still see yourself as you were when fatter. I forget what it's called of course, but it is recognized now as a true disorder. With heavy people, it's usualy when they drop a lot of weight but still see themselves as a fat person, their mind just doesn't make the connection and they don't see what other people see. It can happen with other people as well who haven't lost weight, even thin people, they think they are ugly or look like a monster and just think they are hideous...they don't see what other people see when it comes to their own body. I am scared this will happen to me, that no matter what my weight I will always feel like the fat lady. I wish I knew an easy answer to it. You have lost over 40 lbs. girl...I'm sure this is a big change in how you look! Maybe taking pictures of yourself every 10 lbs. or so will help...you can look and SEE the difference. Do you have pics of yourself before you lost this weight? IF so, go take a picture today and see the difference. Hope things go well in court and you can get out of it and stick him with his own debt somehow...all my luck is with you.

Theresa

Melra, they are cute at this age, but not always in the moment. Sometimes you have to get through it first, then sit back and chuckle. But I have to say, I did keep looking at her face while I was dressing her because she is just so beautiful. She doesn't have like chubby cuteness at all, she just has very gorgeous features, she's so beautiful, that's what I was thinking while I dressed her. Then I got her awake on the porch and she started screaming and got all red teary faced and those thoughts all went away

Theresa

I think that is a good idea. Mom has a digital camera so for every 10lbs I will start having her take a picture of me. I have massive fattie pics-all in various poundages. Maybe if I see it in front of my face it will start to give me a better image of myself. I just don't want to go way over the other way-look at me, I am worrying already over somthing that is way far away. I still have over 80lbs to lose and I am stressing about it. Geez.
Melissa

I think what we can be is delusional, always feeling fat no matter what we weigh, always thinking we are not good enough, someone else looks better, etc.
I was once passing a psychiatic hospital that had a beauitiful lawn in front and a woman had her back to me and she was reaching up to catch falling leaves. She was wearing jeans, and had no bulges and a flat belly and little tush. For a moment I was jealous. Then I saw her battered face, which had been in all the newspapers for weeks because her partner had beaten their little girl to death and this battered woman's legs had been shown on tv, black and blue and gangeous and scabbed. Can you imagine! I had a moment of jealousy when I saw her.

Although I am 60 lbs away from being thin, I am going to try to be positive and look at the improvements, not at the bad parts. I know it's easier to say than to do, but I am going to try. I think that women who don't have food issues have a better and more realistic attitude towards their bodies. We are never satisfied. They are and food isn't a crutch to deal with the dissatisfaction.
Maybe this time when I weigh 135, I won't think I am a huge elephant.
Laura

melissa, you are doing great. i agree you shouldn;t worry about the pounds you have left to lose, but the ones you have lost already. i'm sure you look different now.. i think it takes some time for your brain to catch up with the changes of your body. congrats on your loss!!!
everyone is doing great. as for me, no cheesecake today

Well I just got back and the other side never showed so it was dismissed without prejudice which means if they can show the judge good reason why they didn't show and what the bill is actually for, I could have to go back. For now though it is done. The jackass couldn't quit talking to me the whole time we waited-I just kept reading like he wasn't there. Apparently the cps thing is on me and it was that neighbor I had it out with a few weeks ago. She called because josh rode his bike with no shoes. Can you say get a life???? There was supposed to be welts on his rear too but if she added that, I would like to know what she is doing looking at my son's bottom. Cps obviously isn't taking it seriously since I have heard nothing at all from them so not going to stress about it. I know I am a good mother. Well I am going to get out of this dress that is saggy and see you guys all later.
Melissa

Glad everything turned out well.
Monica

Other than having to be in the same room with my ex I am very pleased to have that at least out of the way for the time being. Tomorrow post will be probably later in the day since I have to have my son in Seattle tomorrow for his MRI. I have planned ahead and will have the bacon ranch salad which is 6pts compared to their grilled chicken sandwich which is 10! That salad is about the only thing on the menu that is worth the points to me. I want to thank everyone for such great support. Mom is going to start taking a picture of me every 10 lbs with her digital camera so I can make a kind of weight loss journal picture diary thing. I think that if I keep looking at the pictures it will help me over time. I tell you I was really kind of embarrassed to wear that dress to court today-it was so stinking baggy but the two other ones that are smaller, I still need to lose about 10-15 before they fit nice. So I opted for a bit baggy than a bit tight.
Melissa

melissa- glad to know all is ok for now- I hope all goes good for the MRI
and your neighbor does need a life.. and you are doing great!

Kathy - your hubby sounds so wonderful! I hear so much great about curves- I'm just afraid I'd go 1 or two times and not go back- I'd make up an excuse not to go..

Melra it IS possible for adults to go awake and then 30 seconds later go zzzz my hubby does it all the time after working a 16 hour day

I avoided trigger foods and temptations today when i wanted to eat all the bad foods.. french bread, strawberry poke cake with homemade icing, mayo and cheese and all those YUMMY foods that make me weigh even more. I hid in my office- safer that way- i don't know if I would have stopped eating if I started.
I think my stress/ upset/ issues is all work related and I need to stop nibbling. Office politics and the fact that we had a memorial service monday and have another one scheduled Thursday - too many people are dying- I have a habit of getting attached to these little old people- but I shouldn't use it as an excuse to nibble- I should just learn to live with it and accept the fact I can't change it and eating can't fix it so...
I am glad you all are here- hubbys just don't get it sometimes

I am glad to see everyone is doing great- have a good night all!

Hi all -
Melissa - glad it worked out for you in court today. Too bad your neighbor is such and ***.
Sounds like everyone is doing well on their plans and exercise! Keep up the great work!
I got a bit of the stomach bug today - so I've been eating bread, rice, toast and drinking water - I know it's not very nutritious, but I need the FIBER!
Hopefully I will be back to normal tommorrow... this sucks!
I'l let you all know how I like the Yoga Booty tapes when I get them and start, seems that no one knows about them, so I will be the guinea pig!

Sorry to hear you are under the weather-I just got over a mess myself of course it was all psychological for me. Once I figured out I was more upset about being around my ex than actually going to court, I started feeling better.

You did the right thing by removing yourself from anything that tempts you Sandisuze. Sometimes it is the only thing a person can do. I don't work outside the home but I did work in a grocery store and man it would be so hard sometimes not to buy things especially on a stressful day which was most of them.

I think we are getting smarter about things and choices!
Melissa

***BIG HUGS*** Melissa, you sure are going through a rough time there. I don't understand people who call cps just to get back at a parent--do they not know what they could be doing to the child, who doesn't deserve to be in the middle of something they don't understand??? I think sometimes about what if someone called and made a false claim on me, would they come and yank my kids away over a lie? Anyway, I have a huge soft spot for kids and thinking kids are put in the middle this way is just heartbreaking. And you are SO right, what is she doing looking at his bottom?? You'd think they'd start questioning HER once she made that claim. Gets me boiling I'll hush now. We're here for you, and you are handling this all so well. You're a role model mommy.

You actually remind me of my MIL, though she only calls my hubby and complains instead of saying to my face. The latest thing I've done is not pick up all the little sticks in the front yard that fall from the trees, because that could poke of the kids. Well, I DO pick up the sticks but more fall every single day, so of course there will always be some, and now leaves to join them...I go out about every 3-4 days, but come one, they keep falling, we have 4 huge trees out there. I seriously think she just has nothing else to do with her life but pick me to pieces.

Hope you feel better tomorrow, StillTrying!

I stayed under calories today, but the content was mostly fat and carbs again Does that really matter? I was almost 100 under my calorie max and I got in 7 miles of exercise...so I hope I'm okay. I never worried about anything but the calories before, but seeing that graph on fitday and how little is protein, how MUCH is carbs, how MUCH is fat, it bothers me now.

Theresa

Makes you sad to think that some people have so little in their own lives, that they need to pick at someone else's. I just don't let it get to me anymore and the more I have been thinking, I think my ex was lieing anyway. They wouldn't tell me the other day about the call about him so why would they tell him anything about me?? He also apologized for not sending support in aug or sept and that he would give me cash. I think he really was just trying to get me to talk to him which I didn't do. I just kept reading my book like he wasn't talking to me at all. I did forget to tell ya'll that a really good looking cop smiled at me as I walked out of the courthouse today. Heehee. Wouldn't that just kill my ex if I dated a cop! ROFL. I did smile back but got the heck out of there cause I didn't want him following me out to the car.
About carbs-your body does require them. It is what your brain turns into food for it. the thing I would maybe watch is starches which I think alot of people confuse with carbs. they are both carbs but starches pack on the weight more readily. Potatoes, pasta, corn, breads, and the like can pack on the pounds. Fresh green veggies, fruits ect-if those are your carbs, I wouldn't worry about it. Fats too depends on what you are eating and where they are coming from. Your body also requires a certain amount of those daily too. Ok I am off the soap box lol.
Melissa

See, turning heads already Melissa, and even in a baggy dress Imagine if you wore the tight one I'm sure the ex noticed too, not that you want him to. I wouldn't trust him that the report was on you. Why would he hear about it, and never you? I'd think they would tell you about the one on him, considering it is your child it concerns. Shouldn't the other parent have the right to know what kind of accusation is being made? I would think so.

Let's be productive today ladies and post the positive things we do for ourselves. I'll post later, off to log breakfast into fitday.

Theresa