Jeanne I have fought this same demon everytime I have started to lose weight and people begin to notice. I think it is fear but fear of what I am not sure. I am sure it could be a million different things. I know one of them for me is male attention. After my marriage I packed the weight on so that no one would "bother" me and I wouldn't have to deal with it. Wrong and bad especially when the word no works wonders. I am sure it is something I will have to deal with when another 50lbs are gone but I guess it would help if you could identify the thing that scares you about it so you can start to try to work through it. Not sure if I made sense or if it helps but I do understand what you are going through. Here if you need to talk.
melissa

Jeanne - It sounds like you are right back on track.
Re losing your focus as soon as people notice- I have always done the same thing. Start eating as soon as someone says somethng nice. I don't know why I do that, but this time I will try to be aware(when it happens in 20 pounds or so). Then maybe I won't lose my way. I don't think I need to know exactly why I do it, just be aware so it won't happen.
A yogurt smoothie sound wonderful.

Cadwell- Maybe you should give away the fat clothes, cause you're never gonna wear them again!
Laura

Melissa- I think that I gained weight when I had thoughts of leaving my marriage, and I ate alot to feel better, but I also think as long as I was fat I couldn't leave cause I had it in my head that I could never be alone and no one else would ever look at me fat.
Anyway, the marriage worked out, but I'm still fat.
Laura

I started to pack in on toward the end of my marriage. I was so depressed and miserable. I started to lose weight after the divorce but then I got scared and put it back on and then some. I think now that I feel more confident in making the right kind of decisions for myself and so it isn't as much of an issue anymore for me. I am in the age bracket that I don't have the stressors younger women have. Marriage, biological clock, ect. Those can be powerful influences.

This is the first time that I am going to lose it just for me,not my husband or my kids, or a special occasion. That never works for me and I just feel like such a failure afterward. I'm going on 2 weeks now and I have been so calm most of the time, rarely deprived, or hungry or angry over how much I have to lose and however did I get this fat. It's going to take time and I'm not anxious about it.
This week my book club is having a pot luck. There will be great food and I have always been a pig at times like this. I know there will be salads and I'm going to bring a big bottle of vanilla seltzer. Just because all this food is there doesn't mean I have to eat it.
Laura

Wonderful outlook Laura and the good motives that last a lifetime. Bookclub sounds like so much fun! I have always wanted to do one. I love reading and books, even some of the novels I had to read for college, which is saying alot. Planning ahead is so very key for me. I have a BBQ next weekend and already planned for it and taking a salad that is OP for me and the fair coming soon for us too and already planning on just bringing my own snacks and lots of water! It feels different for me this time too as it is just for me-not because I am hubby hunting or have some event coming up and I have been amazed at how stress free it has been to stay OP.
melissa

A book? What's that? LOL - I actually really enjoy reading, but since having my DD 3 years ago, I can count on my hands how many books I have finished.

Laura and Melissa - good for both of you for deciding to lose for you! I bet that is what will make you successful this time. BTW, I see both of you discussed marital issues. Do you think there is a natural ebb and flow to relationships? My husband and I can go for what seems like years without having any substantial arguements. And then there are those times where the arguements seem to be frequent - generally over nonsense. I guess having kids only compounds things more since we each have less "me" and "us" time.

I do believe there is an ebb and flow. We didn't even have one argument until after our son was born. My ex really resented having to "share" me and my time and he also didn't like having his time so my responsibility grew and I always felt alone in the deal and I also worked full time. Life is full of ups and downs and the trick is to keep time for just the two of you-I know it is hard once the children start to arrive. But even if it is waiting till the kids go down for the night and doing something together and talking, keeps things better. I read while they are napping or right before lights out. I have the advantage of no hubby so I can pick and choose when I do things (but that is the only advantage) I would much rather have that someone to share life with.
Melissa

Melissa, you seem like such a great lady. A man would be lucky to have you.

awe ya got me blushin' now....:0)

JJeanne- there is an ebb and flow and it becomes more recognizable as time goes on. You start to laugh at the silly fights and know that it really is just a way to blow off steam. And hopefully you learn to discuss the real disagreements or at least understand the other person's point of view. Our biggest disension has to do with my dh feeling I am too affected by my children's ups and downs. I still feel responsible when they screw up, like I failed to show them the way, and I suffer from guilt. He feels they are grown up and need to learn to take care of themselves and bear their own consequences. I know he's right, so sometimes I don't tell him everything and then I am angry cause I feel alone. Nuts, huh?
A good piece of advise I got from a friend was to think about all his good qualities, and then hopefully the bad pales in comparision.
Time really flies, and you realize that you should't waste your time together on nonsense when there is so much good stuff to do.
I feel like an old crone, giving advise to the young, but I do feel that I have learned alot, and we have come thru some difficult times together.
Laura

Weigh-in day for me...161. No loss, but no gain either, so I guess it could be worse. Next week WILL be better though!

No gain is better than a gain. I am probably going to be right there with you this week since I had my fiasco earlier on. Still a pound higher than last weigh in for me. But it sure showed me it wasn't worth it!
Melissa

I have been butsy, busy busy but found my way back FINALLY!! We have relatives in from California, they only come in ever 4 years so we have been going through lots of family functions this weekend with them. I have been struggling with eating and I know it's holding my weight back, so I made a decision that I am going back to vegetarian. I was a veggie for 7 years before I had my daughter and went back to eating meat, but everytime I take a bite I feel like getting sick. It just nauseates me to know I am eating a dead animal and I don't want to do it anymore...so why am I still making myself do it if it makes me feel sick? So, I am taking a gradual process, taking out red meats this month, turkey and chicken next month, eggs and fish the next. I know how to do it healthfully (it's not hard as people think to get what ya need) and felt so at peace and happy once I decided this is what I want to do, and even with all the celebrations and eating out it has been easy...easier than counting calories actually.

Last night was a big dinner with the entire family and I did really well, passed up all the red meat and went with a big salad topped with cottage cheese instead of dressing, and a bunch of veggies and other non-meat dishes that were there. This morning hubby took me to Golden Corral for breakfast and again I had a big salad, some eggs and a tiny pile of hashbrowns.

I am also cutting out sweets and cookies and all that stuff, and it was easy pasing up the salad bar. I feel really good remembering how healthy and happy I was when I didn't eat meat...I just felt better in every way and after just one weekend of no red meat I do feel much better already. Mawmaw actually hugged me yesterday and said "what did you do different? Did you lose some weight?" Only 5 lbs down and it's already obvious to some people who know me well.

I read through everyone's posts but I don't have time to keep typing right now...glad to be back in the loop though. Keep going ladies...we will get there!

Tonight is a cookout at MILs, so not eating red meat will leave me with just the sides and I'll have to make due...but there will be salad and I love me a big salad

Theresa

That is a very healthy lifestyle. I did that for about 6 months or so and I also found I felt wonderful but alas, I do like meat lol. Sounds like a lot of fun for you this weekend and glad you have a great handle on it. Keep going!
Melissa