WWJLD? - a new game....
 

What Would a Jaded Lady Do?

Here's a new twist on the "Would You Rather" game.... give a situation but no choices for an answer. The one who responds should answer the question, and then give a new challenge.

The first one is: If you knew a friend's husband was cheating on her, would you tell her?

This is a toughy but I would have to say NO! Because I think she would get mad at me for telling her and not believe it. What I would do is confront the husband and tell him I saw him with this other woman and if it didn't stop I would tell. But I still don't think I could tell, I wouldn't want to lose the friendship.

Okay, if your friend was adopted and she was looking for her parent(s) and you know who they are but they don't want her to know would you tell her anyway?

Probably not right off the bat. I would first approach the bio-parent and find out about their feelings in the matter, and tell them the bio-kid was looking for them. Then I would stay out of it unless there was medical information needed to save someone's life.


Ok - found out today that my dad and his wife were in town yesterday and didn't tell me. I had no idea they were even here until my grandmother called me this morning. My dad lives 5 hours away and, regardless of how he may feel about me, you would think he would want to see his grandchildren. So, WWJLD? Do I call him up and confront him? Confrontations don't tend to work very well with him because he just denies everything and keeps doing it until the confronter gives up and goes away. I'm ticked...but more sad than anything else...lay your wisdom on me ladies :)

Wow, Katy, this one isn't hypothetical! I think since you said "confrontations don't work well with him" that you'd be wasting your time to try and reason with him. But you could mention that you knew he was in town, just to let him know he's busted! Btw, so sorry this happened to you! (((HUGS))) You have been a good daughter and deserve better than this!

Now, for a hypothetical one - if your friend or co-worker brings a dish to a carry-in that is totally gross then asks you if you liked it, would you fib to spare her feelings?

I think I would try to say something like "I'm sorry, but I don't care for olives." or whatever was in there that you could pick on. Otherwise if it is a common dish and just nasty you could fib a little bit or say you hadn't gotten to it since there was so much food. I can never say that I just thought it was gross.


If you had a friend that NEVER was the first to call or initiate a lunch, get together or just a chat, but always was so glad to see you and so much fun, would you keep trying to be friends?

Depends on how we have been friends...if she has always been that way, then I would still remain friends with her. If shes a new friend then I would kick her butt to the curb! kidding

You have been friends for a long time with someone and well you like them but can barely tolerate their kid,,,would you tell them that infact its not acceptable the way they act? Or bite your tongue? Or not socialize as much? Or Socialize but without kids?

Since we've been friends for a long time and like her company, I'd still get together sans brat by choosing occasions that children shouldn't be a part of, and enjoy ourselves without the child, lol. :cheers:

What would you do if your boss, with whom you work very closely, had terrible breath everyday?

Grin and bear it, for the most part. Maybe leave a bowl of mints on my desk, then when the boss is in the vicinity, take one for myself,then offer him/her one.


Scenario: you are in the grocery store with your toddler, who is behaving like a toddler, basically ( gimme gimme), but not really being a bother to anyone but you. Then a stranger walks up and makes a snide comment about your parenting skills, ie " if it were mine I'd be spanking him".....Do you ignore? Justify yourself to a stranger? Agree? - this is a hypothetical this time....;)

Being a single person without kids, no desire to have kids, no tolerance for kids, I totally understand the strangers point of view. Kids are loud, annoying, and disruptive. I can't stand it when someone takes there kid out, and they just scream, throw tantrums, etc. Especially in restaurants. My theory is, if they want to scream and cry, I'll give them something to scream and cry about. Don't worry, I don't plan on having any kids! With that said, you should probably just save your breath when speaking to someone who makes comments like that. There is no way you are going to change their mind. Just ignore them.

Ok, here's my scenario, and it happened to a co-worker with the NUTBALL!

She was in a situation where she voiced what she really thought and was told by NUTBALL, the President, and the Corporate Compliance dept that she wasn't acting like a manager and should be behind the organization NO MATTER WHAT. Now she feels like they are out for her head. Later that week, when dealing with funding on a particular case, realizing that Medicaid would not pay for a nurse to take a patient to the doctor (duplication of services) the NUTBALL told her to submit it anyway and see if they notice! This is really an issue to be reported to Corporate Compliance, it is fraud, but she feels like it doesn't really matter, no one would believe her, etc. What do you do?

Yikes, Jen! Not all kids are little monsters, lol!

About the situation you mentioned... if I were you, I'd do nothing. If I were the nurse in question, I'd point out to my supervisor that it was an illegal thing to do, and document when/where/what was said. If she told me to send it anyway, I would, but I'd make sure I made a couple copies of the documentation!

If your neighbor kept borrowing things from you and you wanted it to stop, what would you do?

Funny, I am reading all of these posts and have had a lot of these happen, the one about the toddler, the friend's husband cheating, the friend with the horrible kids-LOL and this one, and yes not all kids are monsters. Okay, I did have a neighbor who always borrowed stuff, a tomato, onion, cup of sugar, rice and so on and I must say it didn't really bother me. Of course she asked me one day why I never borrow anything. Never needed to since I bought groceries once a week and made a list of all I needed. So...I would have to say it depends on what exactly the neighbor is borrowing, if it is like tools from DH then I would let him decide when he has had enough but food like the neighbor above I never got tired of it, we were friends and it was never a nuisance.


If your driving down the road and you see a fight between a couple, not arguing but an actually fight what would you do? Would you just pass on by? Would you stop and help? Or would you pull over not get out but call the police on your cell phone if you have one?

I would call the police from my cell and take a picture if it was a picture phone. And get a license plate, note the time and make of the car, the location, then make a follow up phone call when I reached my destination. I think getting out of the car to intervene would be a very dangerous thing to do.

What do you do with a girlfriend who continually fills you in on the explicit details of her love life.....you want her to know you support her as a friend, but then again, her morals may not be the same as yours? At what point do you say ENOUGH with a friend like this?

I would pull over and yes call the police on my cell phone and from the safety of my vehicle yell over that I had just called the police. I
Like you Christina, Ive had many of these things happen in my life. We were on holidays once and saw this man grab his wife/gf and hit her open hand across the head. Within seconds there was a group of people literally holding this man down. I had to stick myself in the midst and asked the woman if she wanted me to show her how to hit back...using the *dummy as the dummy.....lol

What would you do if you frequently visit a web site support group and enjoy the place yet there is one person who has such a low oppinion of themselves all the time. When you try to say something nice to them they have a way of returning it with the comment of you're crazy to think there is anything good about them?

Oooopsie! You both (Angie & Katy) answered the same question. I will go with Katy's and then post Angie's question as the next one.

To Katy's: I say the first time she starts telling me. I would stop her and say, ummm too much info! I wouldn't want anyone to know about my sex life and I sure don't want to know about others. I would tell her I enjoy her friendship, that is if I did, and tell her her sex life is between her and her significant other and to please refrain from telling me.

Here is Angie's question:

What would you do if you frequently visit a web site support group and enjoy the place yet there is one person who has such a low oppinion of themselves all the time. When you try to say something nice to them they have a way of returning it with the comment of you're crazy to think there is anything good about them?

Angie - OMG, that is such a good one, but I have no clue how to answer! Anybody else??????

Been chewing on this one....I think I used to BE the person you are talking about, Angie! I think that good energy put out into the world in the form of compliments or any kind of support is never wasted, even if we can't see the effects right away. I just think it makes us better people to be nice, even if it appears to go unappreciated. It's kind of a "pay it forward" concept, if you've heard of that. As to the person in question, I would keep on supporting that person, but would not get so involved as to make them a "project", so to speak. Their bleak view of themselves is something they have to deal with, but I'm not going to let it make me less of a person by withholding praise. People who show up on support boards to reject support have to deal with some stuff, that's for sure!


Ok - I'm running out of conundrums.....I have an almost 3 y/o girl who is sort of potty training but not quite there yet. My 8 y/o son was also a late-to-the-potty kid, training at 3.5. My kids have really stubborn personalities and I decided with both that this issue was not going to be my Waterloo with them. So, what do I say to the regualrly scheduled lectures I get from people (like MOM) who swear to God they trained thier kids ( like ME) by 12 months and anything later than that is just plain lazy parenting? Ok I agree potty training is kind of scraping the bottom of the barrel here, I'll work on some better scenarios :)

RK you aren't the person I was talking about...lol

As for potty training, to each his /her own time. We are all different people and some have to go at a slower rate, or faster in some cases. My aunt talks about how her son, 2 months older then me, and how I was potty trained a good 6 month before him, but he learned many things way before I had a clue. Tanner was trained before 18 months, but couldn't/woudln't talk till almost 3. He had to go to speach thearapy for a year before school started.

Now this is really going on in my life,,,what would you do ladies...
You have a 12 yr boy who loves football, is mediocre on the field but has heart. Next year he goes up a division to the older boys, Bantoms, and well he doesn't want to go cause he is small, he knows hes small. But his coaches now are pushing him to go, even thou they know he will probably be benched most the time. Now the12 yr could have a major growth spurt in the next year, he probably would be benched most the time but the learning of new plays and the other boys would be a good thing too,,,,but to have to do all them drills for 3 months 4 nights a week is asking alot....asking alot of the mom too....lol What would you do?

Next year's football practice season is so far away, I'd wait until a little closer to then and then do what the boy says HE wants to do at that time. As for right now, he can just tell the coaches "we'll see" or "probably" to get them off his case. If he does decide to skip it next year, you may have to speak to the coaches about laying off DS.

If you were pretty sure that one of your teen's friends was drinking while the parents were at work, what would you do?

Ask your child if her friend is drinking while the parents are at work. And if so, ask her what her parents are like and then decide how well you know the kid,,,well enough to be someone they can talk to...or if the parents are approachable talk to them, would you want to know if your child was doing that?

What would you do if you had a friend who talks non stop about her weight,,,how big and fat she is when shes like a size 8? She used to be a 6 but gained abit,,,shes is obsessed with trying to lose it and calls and wants to talk for hours about it.

oh- I know I would just lose it after awhile and tell her to stfu (excuse my language). Ok, it's strong, but I can be that way when people get too self absorbed on me. When someone does that around a person who is truly trying to make healthy changes to lose weight, that is just plain rude. Tell her to take all that energy and focus it on, say, the homeless, or the genocide in Sudan.....

Hmmm - now my turn, and I am getting progessively worse at coming up with scenarios....Ok, how do you go about getting something back that you have lent to someone without putting them on the spot and/or making them feel bad? I was raised to just expect it back when you get it and if you loaned to a flake, well, you just have to consider that you gave it to them. DH has a different view, which is you basically hunt them down and ask for it back.....

I would call the person and ask for it after we chit-chatted about other stuff first.. kind of like, oh by the way, when can I come by and pick up my ____ that I loaned you? And if the person gets embarrassed, too bad! She should have returned it long ago!

Now, what would you do if someone (not your best friend) asked to borrow something that you really don't want them to. Not a cup of sugar, but something more valuable, like a piece of jewelry or an expensive piece of clothing?

First I have to comment on Angies question-I had a friend who was always talking about needing to lose 5 or 10 pounds and I looked at her and said "WHAT!" "WHERE!" She was 5ft. 9 and she said she weighed 110 lbs. I think it was more like 90-100 she was so skinny and wore a size 0-1. Crazy! She wasn't obsessed with losing it or talking about losing it but just every now and then we would talk about losing weight. I told her she looked fine and I didn't see where she needed to lose anything anywhere.

Anyway..Jane to your question I would just tell them no, especially to the jewelry. I don't have a lot of jewelry and what I do have 98% Vince bought me for a special occasion and I could never loan that to anyone. The same with expensive clothes-don't care for sharing clothes with anyone period, not even my sisters.

What would you say to a relative or friend who has overstayed their welcome? They came for a visit and was going to stay for a few days, and the few days turned into weeks and before you knew it a month has come and gone and they are really getting on your nerves? But it looks as if they may continue to stay longer!

Although it probably isn't right, I'd blame it all on Neal and say HE wants the house back with just family in it. And I'd make sure the person understands that I'm not upset with them, but would offer to call the Holiday Inn for them, lol. 1-800-HOLIDAY :D

What would you do if your co-worker at the next desk hummed all the time and you couldn't have a radio or anything to drown her out?

I'd start singing.....Meeeemmmrreeeez..like the corner of my mind...misty -water- colored memmreeezzz of the way we were........(I'm so evil)

body odor, anyone? What do you do if it's a young tween-ager girl and the parents (not close friends) appear to be clueless?

Katy, I actually had this one happen. The girl was a friend of my Katie's, but I didn't know the mom well enough to bring it up.... so I made these gift basket for both girls and included face wash, Secret anti-perspirant, bath beads, nail supplies, Love's Baby Soft cologne and some hair scrunchies I had made. (Maybe some other stuff too, I can't remember it all.) and it worked, too, the friend DID start using the anti-perspirant.


Could you become close friends with someone who doesn't like your favorite cat/dog and always shoos them away?

Yeah, I could, because my cat is schizophrenic and doesn't like anyone but me and my husband (well, she loves Tim but sometimes doesn't like him, and she tolerates my sons). She will approach visitors and sniff their ankles -- but if they try to reach down and greet her, "aw, hi little kitty..." she hisses and backs away, yellow eyes glowing with malice... It's almost impossible to believe she is the same cat that wakes us up every morning, walking back and forth all over us on the bed, purring and rubbing her furry face on ours. So, we actually shoo visitors away from our cat for their own protection! LOL But on the other hand, I know some people just aren't "dog" or "cat" people -- sometimes they've had a bad experience, or they grew up in a house where they were taught animals are dirty or a hassle. So, that's ok, there are probably other reasons why that person and I could be friends. If my pets really bothered them, I might put my pet in my room while they visited (Chloe is often exiled to the bedroom when we have company), or I'd suggest we meet at the friend's house instead, or go out somewhere.

OK, here's a scenario: you have too many bosses at work telling you to do too many different things, often in conflict with each other. None of the bosses appear to have authority over each other, but they all have different agendas and different priorities. I have three different supervisors right now that are telling me to handle my required duties differently, and I don't know if I follow the last order I was given until someone else comes along and tells me to do it a different way, or if I email them all the same email and let them hash it out? Yikes, does this even make any sense?

Go to the top boss and ask for a moment of their time. Then ask what you can do about this problem of not knowing who's authority to follow. I have been in that same situation and I would start something then be taken away from that project by another supervisor then the first one would come by and freak when Im not doing their project and on and on it went. I finally went and asked the top boss what I can do other then lose my mind. I did it in a humerous way, and all came out well, I was promoted to supervisor and was in charge of all of them! Life has a way of working itself out eh?...lol

What would you do if you work next to a woman who has no tact? You work in a customer service inviroment and shes blabbing away about inapproperiate things such as working in a *love shop* ( adult sex stuff) You know she needs the money bad.
You have given her a few hints that what she saying is inapproperiate.

Where is the supervisor? He/she is the one who should be picking up on the conversations the co-worker is having. IMHO, since you've already given her some subtle hints, at most, you could give her some stronger ones.


Although I have given hypothetical situations so far, here's one that happened a long time ago. Tell me what you'd do, then I'll tell you what I did.

Back in my 20's, I made ham salad to take to the Indy 500. Ground the meat, etc, and placed it all in a 1/2 gallon Tupperware bowl. This was at a lover's house. I turned my back to rinse off the spoon I had used, and when I turned back around, his daughter's cat was licking the ham salad in the bowl!

What should a Jaded Lady have done????? Throw it all out? Scoop out where the cat had been licking? Kill the cat?? We had other food to take - chicken, etc., just so you'll know.

I would have grabbed the cat and swatted its butt, then scooped up the area the cat in,,,,then when eating would of avoided that salad...lol kidding...
I would have talked to the lover and asked him if he was ok with eating left overs from the cat...lol and then left the salad cause I know I wouldn't have been.

Your at a children's activity and later in the evening when darkness falls, a group of older teens show up and loudly start to use profanity. What would you do?

Since no one else wants to answer this.....
 

First, let me tell you what happened with the ham salad.... keep in mind that this was during my single mother days when there wasn't enough money to go around. I tossed the cat to the floor, then I scooped out the ham salad all around where the cat was licking and.... you already know what I did!! I smoothed out the rest with the back of a spoon and took it to Indy. There were 6 of us there, and by the time we ate it, we were feeling no pain, and nobody got sick, lol. A friend's S/O commented how good it was, saying it had just the right amount of onion.... I had to laugh, but didn't 'fess up! And I never forgot it, either, lol.

Now, about Angie's question. Since it was teens, I would very nicely ask them to please watch their language. Actually, this happened to us in a DQ years ago. And one of the kids said "Sorry" then they all left. If it was an older bunch, or a threatening-looking bunch, I'd take my kids and leave. Too many NUTBALLS running around with guns, knives, etc.

Here's a trick I've used since then, in the movies, etc. Tell the offending kid "Oh I thought that was you! Tell your mom that Jane said hi, ok?" This turns them into perfect angels, since they don't want you narcing to their momma, lol, even if you don't really have a clue who the kid is.

Here's one for you, and this is a real situation. One of my "friends" acts all buddy-buddy when it's just us together, but acts more reserved, and will even say "picky" things when there're others around. That really makes me uncomfortable.....

Well, I have to say I had a friend, or so-called friend that did that and I let it slide. I wasn't sure what to do about it but I thought if it was so important for her to make me feel that way then more power to her. I decided I was above that and would never stoop to treating someone that way. She knew that I wasn't pleased with the way she was acting as I would just give her a look. Of course this didn't last long anyway and I think that deep down I knew it wouldn't, one reason I let it slide. I caught her in so many lies the friendship couldn't continue and she knew it. There were never words between the two of us but just from our conversations we both knew the so-called friendship was over. It just ended.


Let's say you have been friends with someone for years, many, many years and you are the one who keeps the friendship going. The other person hardly ever calls, writes, emails, etc. or reciprocates a lunch or dinner date and you have done a lot for her and her kids. You feel there is a bond but at the same time not because you wonder how a friendship can continue or if there really is a friendship with it being one-sided or so it seems. What would a JL do?

I would just let it go... friendships have to be 2-sided to work. Actually, this happened to me with 2 different people over the years. One was a school friend, and the other was a neighbor from town. Both always seemed so glad to hear from me when I initiated a phone call, but after a while, neither called back and I didn't like being the one to always keep the friendship alive. So, sadly, each one went by the wayside......

If you found a plain white envelope in a parking lot with $1000.00 in it, what would you do?


No, I didn't find one, lol!

Thank my angel for sending down shoe money .... no really I would check out all the stores nearby and ask if anyone lost anything and leave my name and number. Don't give the amount or that it was in an evelope. This will be how the person who lost will identify it.

What would you do if your one sibling said she always felt there was another kid your father, fathered but has never told anyone about. She evesdropped... and years later have come across someone who matches the age, and similar physical characteristics, and has both of the family given names?

I guess I can kind of relate to this Angie because my dad did father a child by another woman when he and my mother were seperated. All I know is the woman is Asian and from what my brother & SIL said she is very pretty. Okay, what she saw in my dad if she was pretty I will never know. Anyway, they said she had an abortion because in their culture it is a disgrace to have a baby out of wedlock but we really don't know, she was also thinking of adoption. I kind of think he may have fathered more but we will never know. Wouldn't even know where to begin. But, if they were to try and find me I would welcome them with open arms. I don't hold any ill feelings toward them nor would I ever, besides they would be a part of me being a half-sibling and I would never turn my back on them if they were to want to meet. Now my brothers and sisters are a totally different story.

What would you do if you actually caught your teens best friend having sex in a public place? Would you tell the parent(s)? Would you have a talk with the teen? Or would you just let it go?

If the girl was my DD best friend, that would mean I knew her pretty well, so I'd talk to her and try my best to come across as caring and not preachy, but I'd be armed with a list of "what-ifs".


If you thought your close friend's new BF was married, but not telling her, what would you do?

Definitely give an opinion, if asked for. In the beginning of a new relationship, close girlfriends will chat, I think the friend is probably wondering all the usual questions that one has in a new relationship, so unless she is so gaga she is beyond reason I see no problem with saying something in the course of a conversation about that is about the guy already. I would start out pointing out all the good qualities that person has, but then maybe a question like "Don't you think it's wierd you haven't been to his house yet? Wonder what's up" Something like that.

OK, longstanding Emily Post question...written thank you notes for ALL gifts, or just those not opened in the presence of the giver and thanked for personally? The exceptions, of course are bridal and baby showers and large birthday parties, because it's very difficult to thank everyone personally in those situations. The book says the former, but seems like everyone I know expects them for all gifts - just wondered what the JLs thought....

Me being me and liking to send cards, I would send Thank-yous to all regardless of whether I thanked them personally or it is expected.

What would you do if your best friend was cheating on her hubby?

I would for sure still be her friend, but wouldn't cover for her. I'd help her get to the root of why she was cheating, if I was able, and if she wanted me to.



What's a Jaded Lady to do when you attend a weekly business meeting of ... say, 8.... people in a conference room, and the boss lady wears too much unpleasant cologne and it permeates the room?

Totally hypothetical, of course, since I don't HAVE a job, lol.

Well hmmm....I don't think I would want to make direct attention to it, so I personally would sit farthest away from her. And maybe mention it to someone who was closer to her (friendship wise) so she could possibly talk with her.

Now....at Sony, we had a tech who wore WAY too much cologne.....and since I knew him well, I went up to him and told him that he really shouldn't bath in the stuff and learn how to dab a little here and dab a little there. His respond was a laugh and then he sprayed more on! (we were friends)

Ok....since I haven't posted on this one yet.....here it goes.


Let's go back to our teen years....what would you do if you saw one of your siblings sneaking a cigarette???

Since all of my sisters (had no brothers) were older than me, I wouldn't say anything. They would've beat the stuffing outta me!, lol. Not only that, but we never narced each other out for anything that I can remember.....probably should have, though!!

What would a Jaded Lady do if she is having lunch at a friends house, and she sees a big fat roach on the countertop where the lunch things are laid out, but the friend doesn't see it? (totally hypothetical!)