Crap!!!

Man was it a short summer. July was HEAVEN. August has been so so. And now we are going back to school. The inevitable is upon us.

On the positive side...is there a positive side? Anyway, the structure of a schedule will keep me on program more...and who knows? Maybe by next summer, I will be closer to where I want to be.

So, here we go. Best of luck my comrades. Let's knock 'em dead!

Evening Ladies,
Sorry I have been missing in action. On Friday I went school shopping. I was glad to be able to buy one of my new shirts in a smaller size. Yeah!! Then it was off to teach my last evening of VBS. Saturday, I worked on school stuff in the afternoon and the evening went to a scrimmage football game with the family. Yesterday we had a family reunion to go to and then played ball with some friends in the evening. So I have been keeping busy and hopefully sticking close to my diet and excerise plan.
I can not believe school starts tomorrow for my district. I can't believe how fast the summer went. It just seems like yesterday that I was hoping for summer to get here. I am looking forward to having a wonderful year with my students. I just hope that they can all get along with each other this year.
Mouse good luck on your interview. I am so glad to hear that your clothes are fitting differently. That must make you feel good.
Robyn, here are some (((hugs)))) for you sweetie! You are going through a move to a new environment and it is just a little scary. But you will be fine. Enjoy your week of new teacher inservices.
Summer so are you already for school to start? What are you going to do with your dd during that 1st week of school? I hear you about being back on a schedule. I know that way I am granted my time for sure.
Ginny, are you ready for the wheels on the bus to go round and round? When does your dd leave for college?
Well I need to go and get my lunch packed and look over a few last minute things before my big day tomorrow. Talk to you all later.
Kerry

I received devastating news today that puts all else into perspective.

One of my little darling girls from this past year died on Thursday night. She was very sick and was given amoxicillin (at least that is what the bottle said). She immediately turned blue and later died. Unfortunately the adults (her uncle and grandfather) watching her didn't help her fight for survival since instead of taking her straight to the hospital, drove across town to the mall where her mother works to get the insurance card. Then instead of driving to the closest hospital down the street from the mall, drove across town to another hospital. That child never had a chance.

She was not allergic to amoxicillin. The hospital ran a toxicology report but haven't gotten the results yet. It looks as if the pharmacist made a mistake when mixing the medication.

I went to the wake tonight, and it was just awful. Seeing her lying there made me so ill. She was only 4 years old with her entire future full of potential ahead of her. I will never understand why things like this happen. There are people who would say, "it was meant to be" or "it was her time." When I see God, I have a multitude of questions for him, and at the top of the list will be, "Why did she have to go so soon?"

Oh, boy, Summer. I have been so lucky not to ever lose any of my students while I've had them. In my inner-city school, we regularly lost students due to the violence on the streets. I can't even imagine losing a student, really. I mean, I can... I usually have this speech I give them about not wanting to see their names in the paper. And I mean it. Its bad enough getting the notes in email that soandso has been committeed to the state prison pending trial or probation decisions.
Staff goes back tomorrow. And I did the interview today. I think I did the right thing: The district really wanted to hire me, and it was so hard! They offered me more money, tuition reimbursement, a chance to be near my mom and grandmother again... and I said no. I just pictured the looks or lack of looks and comments from my former students, and remembered how they reacted when the classroom assistant went on vacation for a week. They thought she left, and wrote her notes. Last year, when I hurt my ankle, one of my most seriously disturbed students used her free time to make a card in MS Paint for me. How could I leave them without any warning?
I don't care about the administration: they can find somebody else to replace me, and if it were a business job without the kids, I'd be gone.
Robyn, Summer: my thoughts are with you...
Kerry: Good luck tomorrow.
Me? I'm going to go buy a book for my iPaq so that I can have something to do during the intermible staff meetings. Last year they were 4+ hours long each day!

Oh my. (((hugs))) Summer! I am so sad to hear about your student. How sad that those who were caring for her didn't understand or see the "emergency" part of her reaction to the medication. How sad that they let the concern over the bills and the insurance card over ride their concern to save her. How sad that they have to go thru all that is to come. I'm sorry that this has been added to your plate.

Mousie, you will know when it is right. I changed jobs without any second thought because I knew that it was right. ....of course we don't count or talk about all the tears! LOL I'm sure you looked wonderful in your new outfit! I thought of you this morning as I was digging around in my jewelry box looking for JUST the right shade of blue beaded bracelet to wear to the meetings today!

Kerry, you sound busy! Keep up the great work! Celebrate that blouse in the smaller size, girlie!

Ginny... did I miss a message from you, hun?! Hope all is well with you and your family and that you and your dh enjoyed your teenless weekend evening that I last heard you looking forward to!

Me? I was in meetings all day today... go to more meetings all day tomorrow! I'm packing my lunch tomorrow so that I make better food choices! (Today was a mandatory luncheon...so I was *FORCED* hehehe to eat whatever they put out! Dessert and all! hehehehe...*FORCED* they had knives and forks pulled on me...what was I to do?! And the dessert was CHOCOLATE! AND IT TASTED GOOD!!! I didn't eat it all! I left a tad.... a small tad.... but it was a tad! he!) Tomorrow I'm back to doing right...or someone will have to get the OoompaLoompas to roll this BadBlueBerry out to the Squeezing Room! OoompaLoompa dwiddly dee, if you're wise you will listen to me.... Why does the fat chick eat all of that when she knows it will make her FAT?! Is she inSANNNNE?! I'm telling you....they had weapons...what WAS I to do?! AND...they were strangers... I couldn't go refusing the food of my new employer now, could I???? It would have been rude!

take care, ya'll!

Just a drive by visit here.....Summer- I can't imagine how awful you must feel. And how sad, that maybe- had another individual seen her and got her the care she needed she might still be here today. Do you have a special memory of this little angel that you would like to share?? Hugs to you.
Robyn- with all you have been up against, how are you holding up? Love your sense of humor, girl!
Mouse- sounds like a tough decision......it did all along. I agree with Robyn- when the time is right it will feel right. Congrats on getting that over with.
Kerry- congrats on the new blouse size!!!!!Bet that feels great. Sorry that the music has started for you.....how did the first day go?

Me, I am still hung up in back to school stuff....trying to get a life set up for my 18 yr old who is old enough to be out with her friends all day......all over the place but not be here to get herself set up for college (bank accounts, etc........aw leave it to Mom...grrrrrrrrrr......) So I am busy. One week left.....we go back 9/2. And won't finish up till much later than all of you who are already back.
Gotta go pick up Ds from bball practice. See ya later!
Ginny

Today was the funeral. The funeral was in Spanish, so there was an interpreter. Those of us who didn't understand Spanish didn't get the same impassioned sermon as those who did. The interpreter didn't speak English very well, and from what I could tell, a lot got lost in the translation, and she spoke very "matter of factly." In spite of the sermon, the music was beautiful, and the woman who spoke for the family was wonderful. My principal went with me which helped. She usually keeps her "professional distance," but today, she broke down that barrier, put her arm around me and cried and prayed right along with me. The superintendent (the one who was ousted) came too. She was surprisingly gracious and actually expressed her sympathy toward me. I guess my red, swollen, and tear gushing face brought out her sensitive side. I couldn't help it, I was beside myself. Both of them sent me home for the day, and the superintendent suggested that I take the week off. At first, I tried to tell them that I was alright to return to school, but after walking in the building to retreive my things, and hearing people laughing like all is well with the world, I realized that I couldn't handle being there right now. So, I left.

Tomorrow, I will return to school. I need to move on. I have 36 children excited to begin school for the first time. I need to give them every ounce of what I gave my little angel. Over the next couple of weeks, I will plan a memorial garden for her and a ceremony for her friends to attend. Hopefully, I can plant a butterfly bush before it gets too cold. Then in the spring, I will add other butterfly attracting plants. To make it really special, my classes can "grow" butterflies and release them in the garden when they are ready.

Ginny, I will always think of Keylyn with her best friend, Abreanna. Those two were inseparable. They were two of the smartest girls in my class. They wrote and illustrated "books" together.

Thanks to all of you for your kind thoughts.

Mousie, always go with what your gut tells you..."what the heart knows today, the head will understand tomorrow."

Robyn, I would have handled the luncheon situation the same way. No guilt.

Kerry, take care girl.

Onward and upward.

Evening Ladies,
Well I made it through the first day. I love my new class this year. I have six boys, 4 returning ones and 2 new ones. I think I will be able to do a lot of neat things with them, since none appear to be a behavior problem. That is a good thing.
I went to TOPS tonight. I gained a pound and a half. But I am okay with that. I had three staff meetings where they feed us really great food, but not suitable for a person on a diet. SO I know how you feel Robyn. Don't beat yourself up over it. Just enjoy!! Plus I had my dh's family reunion on Sunday with lots of starchy foods and great desserts. But I have been given a challenge by one of my fellow TOPS pals. She challenged me to take off the 1.5 pounds and an extra one by next week. So I am going to try very hard to accomplish this goal and then some. So I started by dong a walking video tonight. I did 2 miles. Then tomorrow morning I will get up and do another walking video. Plus I will go to Cuvres after school tomorrow evening. Plus I start packing my lunch and taking in iced tea to drink with my lunch. Plus my water through out the day. So I have a plan and hope to stick to it since I am slowly getting back into a set schedule. Enough babbling about me.
Summer, I am so sorry for you sweetie. I can't image the pain and suffering you are going through losing such a young student. You are in my thoughts and prayers, plus your student's family. I think the idea of planting the tree is a great way to keep her memory alive. Plus it will help you get over your suffering. I have never had an exact student die in my class, but I have had a couple parents die and a sibling die during my time as an inner city teacher. Keep your chin up and enjoy your new students in the coming days!

Mouse I think you did the right thing. You seem to have this very well planned out. Did they say anything about a possible job opening for you next school year? Don't get too bored in your staff meetings tomorrow.

Robyn, other than them feeding your really good food and desserts, how are your meetings going? Have you meet some new friends yet? I am thinking about you making a smooth transition and having a wonderful start to a new school year.

Ginny, sounds like you will be very busy your last week of freedom. I understand what you mean about getting your dd ready for college. I have had to help get the kids ready to start school. So I know what you are going through. Do something fun for yourself before school starts next week.
Well I best be off to bed. I want to be energized for my students tomorrow.
Talk to you all later.
Have a wonderful Wednesday!!
Kerry

Evening Ladies,
I am so proud of myself. I got up this morning and did another 2 mile walking video before getting ready for school. I felt more energized and was able to make it through the day without being as tired. So I think I might attempt to do this all year long. Then on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays also go to Curves and workout. I have also decided that this is going to be the year I grow smaller and more professional. Can you tell my contract is up at the end of this year? I want to please my boss this year so he is not on my backside all year long. Lord knows he would have enough fat to hold onto. LOL
So how was everyone's day today? I hope you are all doing well and staying on your diets.
Well I better go and watch a little tv before going to bed. Talk to you all later.
Have a great Thursday.
Kerry

Hi, All. I'm just going to try to respond in a batch because I didn't read last night and its already after 8 pm here.

It took less than 2 hours (1 hour and 5 minutes exactly) before the administrators and the winging of some of the staff ticked me off and made me truly regret my decision. I keep saying I'm doing it for the kids, but the few staff I told said I made the wrong decision and they can't imagine why I'd ever want to stay in the place.
The pool is closed this week, so I can only go upstairs... and I found out yesterday and today that no matter how hard I work, just being upstairs doesn't burn enough calories! Yesterday I worked out, lifting weights and some cardio with the bike and the upper body bike, and only burned like 600 calories in an hour. Today, I did the same but added a bunch of new weight machines and stayed exercising for an hour and 15 minutes. And STILL only burned like 600 calories! And my ankle hurts from the extra biking! Admin keeps changing homeroom lists, so I've gone from seniors (my kids that I've had the last 2 years) to juniors (never taught them, but do know the ones we picked out pretty well), to sophomores (and again, I know them because I had them for Tech Ed last year). But this group of sophomores won't have me for any classes: they've mostly already done survey. And I teach mostly freshman. These guys are not the ones I would have picked to not have a case manager/homeroom teacher as a subject area teacher. They're disorganized, some behavior issues, and two of them are fresh out of self-contained non-rotating classes. And three of them seriously disliked either myself or my TA or both of us by the end of last year.
Oh, and Kerry, my administration is always on my butt too. I don't kiss-up, so I don't ever get the better things or the plums. The plums are reserved for the kiss-ups, and most of them can't teach. Drives me absolutely nuts. The whole homeroom thing is a prime example. If I were a kiss-up, I would have gotten to keep my seniors without a question. We had an issue with the database administrator and grades as well... she was very unprofessional, and yet I was the one that got my head handed to me.
:sigh:

Today was a better day. I had a preschool workshop on oral language. The presenter had a great sense of humor which helped hold my interest and pass the time. Most of what she talked about I agreed with. Some of it was b*llsh*t, but all in all it was relevant. It was certainly better than most of the workshops I have to sit through that just don't apply to my grade level. It also was very good for me to be intellectual today rather than focus on Keylyn's death. Yesterday and last night I couldn't get her off my mind, and when I woke up this morning, I wept some more. Today's workshop was just what I needed. After the workshop, I walked in on the tail end of our staff meeting. Why the principal scheduled it when she knew that not everyone would be there, I will never understand. Nobody could really tell me what was covered, and the agenda was so friggin general. Just watch...in a couple of weeks I will be asked where such and such is or if I took care of this or that. I will ask what she is talking about, and she will tell me that it was discussed at the staff meeting. I'm just waiting. Anyway, after the meeting, I tried to finish my bulletin board when several families came to either register or drop off forms. Everybody needed help filling out the forms which wasted more time. I essentially got very little done. So, school is starting tomorrow, and I'M NOT READY!!! If these f*ckers would have just left me alone, I could have been ready. But, all those days I worked in my room, I hardly had a moment of peace. Next year, I'm going in earlier in August, and staying away from school at the end of August. Maybe that way I can prepare without parents and teachers bugging me. I'm so grouchy, but being anal retentive and a perfectionist, I wanted to be really prepared for tomorrow, and I'M NOT!!! And, before I had a chance to record necessary info from the physicals, i.e., allergies, etc., the nurse has confiscated them. It will be really hard to get them back now because of the whole friggin confidentiality thing. I had them in my hot little hands for weeks, and planned on recording the info yesterday or today, but because of unforeseen circumstances, it didn't happen. Now, I will have to fight with her. I'd better stop.

Kerry, keep up the great attitude and the hard work.

Best of luck to all of my fellow educators, bus drivers, paras, lunch ladies, and school secretaries!!!

Hello people!

I've been sitting in InServices......... with my brain on the REAL subject at hand....
what I'm going to do at school REALLY..... not on what I'm sitting listening to....Which isn't good...but, well.... you know! Today I finally got to hang out a little bit with my new gradelevel friends! What a fun group! They have the same sense of humor (somewhere between "Far Side" and "Beavis and Butthead") as I do! AND They have the same nasty mouths as I do! (We discovered that we all have the same favorite curse words! Yahooo!) AND They were really informative about stuff in general!

AND..... There are 2 who go to the Wellness Center which is RIGHT AROUND the corner from our school which I happen to belong to but NEVER go to because I have NO one to go with! Now, HOW COOL IS THAT???! I'm sooooooo excited! Also one of the two, the one MOST like me.... hehehe....also goes to WW! NOW.... Do you think that this could be destiny?! This is going to work!

Well.......... gotta run. More inservices tomorrow. I've got to get a few things made for the room and printed before I turn in for the night! Kerry, LOVE your plan! You can do this! Summer, how are you feeling? I've had you on my mind! Ginny and Mouse, hello! ((hugs)) to all!

I'm off to do my school work! Yipee! Just like old times!
take care!

Hi!
Sorry for being MIA here....just up to my eyeballs in college land. Tomorrow we take Dd there- parent orientation for us while she sets up her room. Then some seminars for all of us.....we will be bugging out early to get home to the remaining troops (Ds, bless his crabby adolescent heart does NOT want to watch his little sister..... oh, gimme a break). So no long posts for me here today. My heart goes out to all of you back in the trenches-meetings, students and all of that. Part of it feels good to be back, I am sure- the kids can really get you excited......and then part wants to stay on vacation. I think of each of you - and know that I'll be in the same boat next week.
Summer- thanks for sharing your memory of Keylyn, her "books" and the service for her. She sounds like one of those special students who you will never forget.
Mouse, Kerry and Robyn- I wish I could get personal now....have a tired and impatient 8 year old who has not seen too much of her mommy the past few days due to college prep stuff for her sister. Better go take care of her!!
See you tomorrow. G'nite.
Ginny

Hi, all! I sat in meetings about stupid stuff like food services and where to park all day. I traded with my TA: She hates meetings the way I hate copying, so I had leverage. I said, "I'll sit here... but YOU have to do all the copying for that first unit!" It says to copy this on that paper and this on that cardstock, but we have 30 something kids doing it, and guess what: I ain't doing it! :P
So, I sat there and read my e-books (finished all but the Princess Diaries IV)... two of them were really good... Mouse, which is about a girl who is living with her aunt and winds up homeless on the streets of Orlando and writes to Mickey Mouse about what is happening to her, and "Mars is No Place for Children" which was a novella about a girl growing up on Mars, and who doesn't want to leave when she finds out she is sick and she can't be treated on the planet.
Been at the gym every day, and did the Red Cross thing tonight. Can't wait for the pool to open!

Heyyyyyyyy ya'll! Miss me??? Whew. Week 1 down! TGIF!

The inservices got better.... but I'm about inserviced OUT for now! I spent most of today on my feet working in my room.... my legs, knees, ankles will recooperate in time for me to go back on Monday....

Monday... Monday.... BACK to ww on Monday! I have to prepare this weekend.... I've got to go hardcore again or I'm gonna have to get bigger clothes.......GASP!

I'm soooo tired! I'm thinking of turning in for the night! Tomorrow I go to a wedding.... it is on a huge sailing ship out on the Bay. Sunscreen and hairspray are MUSTS!

take care.....will return when I can write coherent or nearly coherent sentences!