Hi, I've just joined up and I'd love to be 199 sometime soon! I'm trying to focus on getting fit and eating more fresh fruit and veg rather than following any particular plan. I'm just about able to run 5km now, so I'm hoping to keep that up to get the weight falling off. It's worked so far, so I'm hoping I can keep it up!

Welcome YP1!!!!! You are doing great!!!!!!!!

To the Dump, the dump the dump,dump dump.........
Spring cleanup day!!!!! The trailer is full for trip 1! I am feeling all the bunged up karma flowing away!!!!! Weeeeeeeee

Going to get my hair done...ALONE! DD is at a sleepover DS is hanging out with Daddy!!!!!!!!!!
Rainy day. I got lots of cleaning done yesterday. More today. Paint those darn stairs.
Had a big long sleep.
I didn’t eat icecream for lunch but I did eat WAY too much bread. One step forward. Another one today.

GIRLIE!!!!! wow and yeah!!!!!!!!!

Have a groovy day chicks!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good Morning Ladies,

Boy I have been swamped with school. Late nights getting ready for the last week. 4 school days and counting. It snowed this morning in ND, and my tulips look awful chilly out there.
Weigh-in was Tues. didn't lose, didn't gain. I was bummed. But, I do know I am responsible for that. Last week, was Educators week, and for some reason, administration thinks we would all LOVE food in the teachers lounge EVERYDAY. So, needless to say, nibble nibble, and no weight loss.

I have missed all of you, and thought I would get to post, so now it is going to take forever to do personals. I will try.

Holly- YOU are loved, valued, and respected. I hope you can take that to heart, and just mark off the other day as a YUCKY day.

Welcome YPI, you will love it here. We are a great support staff and we have great listening ears. Welcome to the Race.

Girlie--Congrats on new job. I am thrilled for you. Bravo

Annie, glad you are back. I have wondered about you. Sorry about your illness, that is no fun.

MyChoice2bfit-- congrats on the loss, any loss is better than a gain. Take it and be thrilled as it was 3 #.

Spores, sorry about your BF family and his cholestrol. You both will inspire each other and be strong when one is not. That is wonderful. Have fun

Hi Debbie- I've used fitday, and i find it cumbersome. I need to take some time and really try to get it to work easier.

justjodi--isn't that the way TOM can be. Last month, I grabbed a small choc. bar, and put it in the jacket pocket that I wear out to recess. It is there still, however, I put there because I wanted to eat it. I knew it was always going to be there, and I have been fine knowing if I want it, it was there. It is still in my pocket a week later, and I am just at peace somedays knowing if I want it, it is there. very weird I know. Obsessive/Compulsion?

Ladies, have a good weekend. Get love, rest and whatever else you need.

We aren't going racing this weekend. It snowed, so we are going to go into Grand Forks, and just do some errands. I'll check in soon.
Love Sandi

Hi, thanks for the welcomes. I'm 3lb down on last saturday, unfortunately last Sunday was a freakily low weight and I ill advisedly took that as my weigh in instead of Saturday (the vanity of it) so based on that measurement I've stayed the same over the week. Still, it's better than gaining.

I've been running and swimming this morning, have just done a bit of light gardening (mowing the lawn) and will probably go for a walk later so I'm feeling very virtuous. The fridge is full of fruit and veggies too, although that doesn't necessarily mean I'll eat them all...

Dear Chicks,
I need you very much right now. I am very angry, relieved ,happy, sad and I want to hug my Grandma.
I definitely know what I have been “stuffing down”.

I received an email form my Aunt and I have replied. It is sooo over.
Here it is. Needing a collective hug in a huge way!!!

H,( this is from the Aunt)
Although I was not going to respond to your emails from last Sunday and Tuesday, I have decided that there are a few things that you need to know.

I will respond firstly, to your Tuesday message.
Perhaps you need to pay attention to your own words of advice and “Do” rather than just “Dish out.” I think, if you went to take a course on caring for the elderly, the very first lesson would probably be that a must is to be very discrete when a person has confided in you.
As far as communicating, I think that has been done.

I will comment on your Sunday email even though I am still almost too angry to do so.
I cannot believe that you were so cruel and inconsiderate of your Grandmother when you wrote all of her business to more than me. How could you do this to someone that you care so much about? If I choose to show her or read to her your email, it would kill her. All this to get at me? The whole email was pretty well irrelevent to anything I said or asked you. I am aware what you do. I am aware of what B does. I am aware of what I do as well. Besides these things that are done on a regular basis, there are other things that need doing. They have been mentioned to you and others and have not been done. The 3 things that I talked about in the email to you were what I did in 2 days(not a week). They were looking after cleaning curtains, arranging for a painter, and cleaning the basement. The only one you may not have known about was the basement. I thought I was doing you a favour by asking you to look at some poles rather than just throw them out. I thought maybe I was doing you a favour by putting them out for you if you did not want them. Apparently not. If you did not understand what I was talking about, would it not have been more appropriate to be in touch with ME to find out what I was talking about?

I am at a stage in my life where I have to look after my own health and have decided that it is time to make some changes. I am just not finding it in my heart to forgive you for what you did to your Grandma. I have also decided that, after about 30 years of taking verbal abuse from you, I am not doing it any more. I have so many friends both young and older who care about me, respect me and don’t really think that I am all that bad. You seem to be able to dish out abuse and then tomorrow is a new day and it is all over. For me, it takes longer to get over the hurt. I have tried to do so to keep peace in the family. I have decided that I am not doing it any more. For now, at least, I do not want to have you in my life. I would appreciate it if you didn’t contact me in any way. I love your children and will continue to support them. I know that it may be difficult at times to be in the same building but you can just ignore me. I have not told Grandma what you wrote, but have told her that you wrote some pretty awful words and sent them out to many people. I also told her that I do not want anything to do with you.

My advice to you would be to be careful about what you write about other people and send out all over. One day you may find it gets you into a lot of trouble. M.

and from me........

Well, that must feel good. I think it is the first time you have ever been honest with me in 40 years. I am quite relieved.
You have accused me of the very same things you have done so I guess it is a draw.(projection?).
I ,unlike you, have nothing to hide from you, Grandma or anyone in my life. I emailed concerned family members, whom you have alienated with your negativity.This is about Grandma’s care and certainly my father needs to know these things. Everyone has had to listen to you for years and has bad feelings about it. It is better in the open.You have NOT communitcated what has needed to be done clearly to anyone!

I was not trying to get at you.I dont play those kinds of games. I was trying to let everyone know that you cant handle it and they need to wake up and step in.

My children do not need your love or support. We are a family unit and come as a whole package. Besides, if you were never capable of loving and supporting me, how can you possible give that to my kids? They are a part of me too.
I also, have many people in my life who love and appreciate me. You will not be missed.

Funny, I have been forgiving you and turning the other cheek all my life. Amazing, that a wise, educated, Christian person like yourself can’t do the same.

We may be on an even playing field now, but ask yourself, how fair was it to to be petty and cruel to a young child and teen? You are 22 years older than me and you were an adult, I was an innocent child.

I do like and admire some things about you. I have genuinely tried( for years) to love you as part of this family.I have also been very forgiving and tried to understand you but it is hard when you are not open and honest with me and ALWAYS play games.

How can you say you love your Mother and say and do the things you do?? H

Holly, I'm so sorry that the drama continues. Here's a hug:

judy

Holly,

I am here for you. I know that confrontations are extremely painful.

It may be a little overwhelming right now, but don't lose track of your self, your goals, your ideas, and your sucess. YOU are strong, she apparently was a weak link. Let it go, get on track, and know you are supported and cared for here. As hard as it is, try not to pull other family members into this. They will see her for who she is on their own. More times than not, they (family) already knew it.

Sending a TON of love to you,

Hopefully, tommorrow there will be NO rain.

Love to you
Sandi

Afternoon everyone,
Hope everyone is having a great sunday.
I've not done too well this week on my food. Bad choices. Still working on portion control. I know when I weigh in mon nite I'll be up. DARN IT!!!
Just been puttering around today. Did some light mending. Good grief.., I lead a dull life. I never have anything interesting to post.

Holly: BIG HUGS!! My prayers are with you. I hope you feel them. Embrace the loved ones you are close to. Know that you are loved and appreciated.
I only have one aunt living and she absolutly hates me and only because she hated my mother. If she had had her way I would not have been able to attend my father funeral. It still hurts to know how she feels. I have no parents, grandparents or aunts and uncles living except her. I have 1 sister and 1 brother. I'm the oldest.
So I hold my little family close.

YPI: WELCOME.. and CONGRATES on the loss.

Sandi: snow? It really makes you realize how far apart we are. I'm running my a/c. My tomato's are the size of golf balls. I've been thru ND several time and liked it alot, except for being in whiteout conditions a couple of times. (A truckers nightmare)
Fitday can be a real challenge. I've never heard of some of the food listed. I had to enter most of my own.

Girlie: I wish I was brave enough to try a new job. Mine is so deadend and
very low paying only plus is the working outdoors and the walking. And thats not a plus in August.

Judy, Annie, Susie and anyone else I missed: Hope you are all doing well.

Hello all…
I would like to join in if I may!?!

I have been on various threads over the past year of so and just saw this one and it fits for me! I was once up to 320, but lost about 80 some years ago…..now I find that when I don’t watch what I eat I fluctuate up to 245-250, but with diligence and work I can get it down to 235….but then seem to get stuck……I am 43 and I know age does not help!!!

Oh well, my goal is to get to 190…a weight I think I could live with…..I once was done to 130…but never could maintain that….I just want to be a comfortable weight, feel good about myself, and not to have to wear plus size clothes!!! Right now I am an XL, 1X, or 18-20, but would love to be a L or 16…doesn’t seem unreasonable does it???

Well like I said I am 43, single, no kids, just 3 cats. I work in education and am looking forward to some time off VERY soon!!!!

I am happy to join you!
Lilybutt

Welcome Lilybutt!! I am not always an emotional trainwreck!! LOL!

Thank you chicks. I adore you.
My emotions have been all over the place today. Swinging from extreme happiness to deep anxiety. Church this morning was very emotional and powerful for me. I am feeling incredibly close to my husband and children. I went to give my Grandma a perm today and was there for 3 hours. It was peaceful being there. I actually fell asleep when she was under the dryer. I feel sad but haven't put my finger on why. I am focussing on the positive things in my life, like you chicks, and the appreciation I get from our minister, and school principal for the work I do there.It seems that every time I let go of part of my past I find a new deeper connection with my husband. I love that.
This is the life I dreamed of as a little girl and the life I waited for and then fought for....dreams do come true. I will let my heart be filled with the blessings of my marriage and sweet babies.

I just recieved an email from my sister. About once aweek I email family to let them know whatw e are all up too. I did email about being sad about the anniversary of Ben’s death.
I am on a low dose anti depressant.
This is just crazy to me...maybe I am crazy.
Here it is!


Hi,

How’s it going? I have received some interesting information that struck close to home. I felt I needed to share it with you. I hope you use it to better educate yourself and don’t dismiss it.

Someone had just recently been dignosed with having anxiety and being borderline clinically depressed. They were put on antidepressents. Unfortunatlly they were the wrong meds or they were miss diagnosed. The person ended up in the hospital on life support after trying to commit suicide.

With doing further reseach I have discovered that this is a serious side effect of most antidepressents( mine being probally the highest ) I couldn’t remember the name of your medication so I couldn’t check it out. I hope you are still working in close contact with your doctor and trust his diagnose.

I would being lying to you if I didn’t let you that a few of your group emails you have sent out have worried me.
They sometimes are a little manic and I am concerned about your well being. I’m here to help and support you anyway that I can even if its just listening.

Talk to you soon, have a good week with all the little monsters. Are you planning to come to the cottage at all this weekend?

Tata for now
B

This is where i am really at!...I had a short deep sleep last night. Woke up with a huge realization.
If my aunt and parents have a problem with me from when I was a child and are still holding a grudge they really need to look to themselves. They obviously did not handle it effectively and certainly did not bring my failings to my attention or discipline me or teach me a better way to be. I have raised myself since I was 10 years old and I learned mostly through trial and error.I did okay as far as I am concerned.

My weight is way down,228 again. I am feeling great and in control. Food has been good, easy actually. No snacking, no sweets.

I do have a bit of an emotional hangover.
Storytime today. A full house of kids(8). It is very tidy.Good place to start from.
I did get the 2nd coat of paint on the stairs!!!! Feeling good about that.

Love to you chicks!!

Lilybutt, you and are have a lot of similarities. My 'set-point' (remember those?) has shifted up a little higher with each passing decade. It used to be around 200 in my late twenties, which was horrifying, and now it's in the 230s, where coincidentally I am stuck this spring. I lost over 70 pounds a few years ago, but couldn't get below 200, and essentially gained 50 lbs or more back. I am fed up with fat!!! If I ever saw 190, I would feel skinny , but my long-term goal is settle around 160. I'm looking forward to succeeding on this long journey with your help!

Holly--I'm glad that you're able to focus on the positive today, on the many things that are precious to you and that you can control.

Sandi--Snow on the tulips? How sad! Our tulips came and went a while back, as did the blossoms on the trees. Now it's a riot of azaleas, pansies and all kinds of other flowers.

More later--judy

Holly:
You are going through a lot.
No matter what, you are right, you have your marriage and family to be happy about and support you.

YP1 and Lillybutt - welcome!!!!

Sorry this is so short. I'm so tired today, little sleep...and I guess I'm just worried about making this job transition. I have so many things that I need to do before I leave. I'm just trying to take my time and work on everything slowly until everything on my list is crossed off.

I have a busy week outside of work as well, friends want to hang out, one friend is moving and I'll not see her after I'm back from vacation, and we still need to fix our computer at home and plan our vacation. Even our vacation won't be a total vacation, because we are stopping and visiting family, but we hope to get a couple of "just us" nights in there, hopefully on the VA coast. I'd love to get some time on the beach.

Talk to you later!

Girlie

hi chicks!
i've got no good excuses this time. i've not been taking care of myself. i never want to post when i am not doing well even though i know that is the time i need it most. today is going well so far, i have been doing lots of work outside so the exercise is there but the food. oh yoy the food!! i know what the problem is no planning, giving in to every little whim. feeling like i "deserve" a treat. just plain old not caring for myself. now it is time to put all the knowledge to work and get my butt back on plan!

i am running late so no time for personals at the moment, i'll catch up with you all later hopefully!!

Hello Ladies,

shhhhh YIPPIE, only 3 more contact days, and we are out of school. Wed, is our Kindergarten graduation, I have 3 kids in that class, so that will be a busy day. Thursday my 1st grader, will have her class party, so that will be a huge day. My 2 little pre-schoolers were the hit of the graduation last Tuesday. Summer is soon here, my summer school classes are almost in order. Life is good here. Snow is gone, we hit 65 today. Blessings, blessings, and grace. I love it.
There really is so much to be thankful for in the big picture of life. The people we hold near our hearts, truly know we do, and we see grace everyday sometimes we recognize it, sometimes not.

Holly----Life is really mysterious. I am praying for you, and really holding out that you will survive this. It is a loss knowing you and your Aunt are estranged. But, Life does go on, and you HAVE to do what you need to stay healthy. Be strong, and when you aren't come here, we will help. Love to you today!

Girlie----I chuckled when I read your post about vacation. "not really being a real vacation because of seeing family" . Golly, I feel like that ALLLLLLLL the time. I love my family, but I don't want to have to work so hard to make it fun. It is alot more fun being with friends. Ha ha ha.

judydc--I love azaleas. My pre-schooler parents bought me a huge Martha geranium? It is absolutely lovely. I have it in my garage protecting it from the cool evenings, but hopefully will move it outdoors next week.

Lilybutt----welcome. What do you do in Education? I am in Special Ed. I mainly work with Autistic kids Pre-K-8th grade.

Debbie----I would love, love, LOVE, tomatoes on vine right about now. We don't even have our garden in yet. This weekend. I am soooooo green with jealousy. Hip Hip Horray for you.

Justjodi--- Ok, so you are a bit off track. The ride isn't over. It is just at the blinking intersection with the caution lights annoying you a bit. Roll down the window, turn on the radio, and look at the map. You can do it. We are here for you. ALWAYS. And, we won't tell anyone when you take a wrong turn. Because believe it or not, we are sometimes driving along side of each other. Honking and waving.

I am whipped, got a lot of planning to do in the next day with the Health Sac. So gotta run.

Love Sandi

PS. Our lives are just that. OURS.
Weigh-in tommorrow. Keep your fingers crossed. I have had a great week. Hope it shows.