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Old 10-23-2003, 07:34 PM   #16  
Why is chocolate so good?
 
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What up, biznatches?!?!?

Sorry, just thought I'd get into the groove we've got going here!

I'm with everyone, good vibes all around!

Keep it up gals, we can do this!

Things have been stressful at home. I don't know if I mentioned the fact that, apart from the condo being such a wonderful new place to live, my parents are old-fashioned and don't thing people should live together before they are married. Anyway, I am not that antiquated and sure as **** old enough to make my own decisions. But the stress of my parents trying to argue with me over this (EVERY SINGLE time I talk to them) is really starting to put a strain on our relationship. (Both on my relationship with my Boy and on my relationship with them.) I mean, I'm upset by things my parents say, and me being upset filters onto him being upset and then we end up upset and arguing.

I don't know what to do. I keep thinking that I'll try to get my parents to see my side of it, so that they will feel better and not upset, but I just can't. I don't think there is anything I can say that will make them get over it b/c it comes down to the fact that I'm not going to do what they think I should do....which is just get married. I want to get married once and forever, and that's not something I'm going to take lightly. But they are putting so much strain on me....every time I talk to them, we end up in an argument and I'm crying. I hate this.

Now you see why I have been avoiding posting, b/c I knew I'd just end up posting a long endless rant. All in all, I'm terribly upset all the time with them. I wish I could just let it go and just say to myself, "well, I'm doing what makes me happy, and that's that," but I can't just dismiss my parents like that.

I keep thinking I'll come up with something magical to say that'll just fix everything. I mean, they don't even want to come up for Thanksgiving any more. What do you guys think? I don't know that there's anything I can say, so I think that they just need to get over this themselves. It is SO STRAINING.

Heeeeelllllpppp!

Sorry ladies, don't mean to bring the good vibes down....although with all this parent talk, I guess it's fitting.


Not a happy camper,
Mari
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Old 10-24-2003, 11:43 AM   #17  
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If you're parents aren't paying your bills, then do yourself a favor and set some limits with them NOW while you're young. Next time THEY bring it up you need to repeat the following, "We have been over this and I know and understand your feelings. I will not continue to fight with you about this." Insert change of subject here. Stay calm and repeat the same thing EVERY time. They can't fight with you if you refuse to fight, they are clearly NOT open to your POV and you're not going to change your mind. You can continue to fight about it or you can choose not to. Repeat the same thing every time, change the subject, and if they refuse to move to the next topic just say something like, "Ok, well I have to go now. Talk to you later" and hang up. Eventually they will figure out that you are serious about refusing to engage in this BS and they'll have to give up. I use this method A LOT when I just don't want to hear crap from other people. My family is the kind of family that thinks everyone wants to hear their opinions about everything and frankly, my life is very different from theirs. So are my choices. They don't pay my bills, they don't get a vote.

Raff - Sunday is a few days away. You never know what could happen between now and then if you put your mind to it.

Dot - I am really getting frustrated with the pace of WW. I honestly think they set the points so high so that it will take longer for you to lose so you have to keep paying for meeting longer. I really think they do. I am 253/4 pounds - weight should FALL off of me. I am going to bet that this week I don't lose anything. If that happens, I'm going to shave off a few points. I really think if I added up how many CALORIES WW allows in a day, it would be pretty high. I see all these people on the WW boards losing .8 and .5 pounds a week and they're like 300 pounds - that's just nuts. At that weight, they should be able to safely lose much faster. I don't want to plod along. If I have my head on right and I'm actually on program, I want results. I may be impatient, but I think I'm also reasonable.

Anyway, that's my little ranty-poo for the day!

Brandy
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Old 10-24-2003, 12:26 PM   #18  
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TGIF Girls!!

Mari-about your parents I am with Brandy. They need to understand that you're an adult. They need to accept you, but most likely this will seem impossible to them. I am sure with time they will easen up. I think they are just pushing your buttons to see if they still have the say. U know parents vs child thingy lol. I went through a lot of that with my parents, but they calmed down a lot in the end and now we actually get along quite well. See, you pay your own bills, you have your own home so they can no longer say, "As long as you live under my roof..." because it ain't their roof anymore. Now its your turn to make your own rules. They still try to manipulate their way into you in order to still have some control, but soon they'll learn its time to let go. Brandy's advice about the change of subject is good. Hope things get better. Oh and if you have a good thing with this boy, don't let this prob. come between u two.

Brandy- I get what you're saying about the slow pace. Last week I lost nothing(TOM had just left), let's see what happens this week. I just try to not use my flex. The most I've used are about 8pts. in a week. But yes I think they make it so you loose an average of 2lbs a week. Then it slows down to like 1lb a week or every other week. I guess they just want u to learn better eating habits without starving yourself, so that you'll stick to it longer. But hey figure if you loose 1 lb a week that's 52lbs a year. Hope this helps.

Okay hope you're all doing good..take care.
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Old 10-24-2003, 01:20 PM   #19  
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I'm kind of in a hurry to lose some weight. I mean, I'm 30 and like 100 pounds overweight and I'd like to get pregnant next year. The thing that's stopping me, for the most part, is my weight. I mean, Mark and I stall and "discuss" a lot of things when it comes to having a kid but as long as I'm THIS overweight the biggest issue IS my weight. I can not imagine being pregnant on top of all this other weight. I mean, I'm already uncomfortable. That would put me over the edge. I'm considering trying the whole "Wendy" thing because I DO know that when I mix it up, I lose. I will probably try it with the weight category UNDER mine. I'll try it for a week or two and if I don't like it, back to straight up WW Flex I'll go.

Brandy
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Old 10-24-2003, 01:32 PM   #20  
Why is chocolate so good?
 
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Thank you Brandy and Dot for your fabulous advice!

It's true....I am completely on my own, my parents don't support me any longer. I don't know why I've been letting them drag this out. I think it's b/c I really wanted to believe I could make them understand, which I can't and won't.

So I'm gonna try your advice, Brandy. What can they do if I won't argue? Let's hope not much.

And I'm not going to change my mind. This man (I know I call him a boy sometimes) makes me happier than I've ever been. I know he is my soulmate, he is definitely my best friend, and I know we are going to get married. Some day. Not today, which is what they want, but I know one day when we feel ready. So it's not like he's going anywhere.....so I guess they'd better get used to it! And you're right, Brandy, if I don't set up some ground rules now, they'll be trying to raise my kids for me before you know it!

Keep up the WW, you two! If you feel there is too much leeway with the points, then try cutting them slowly. If you feel like you're starving, then that's the clue that it may not be such a good idea......only one way to find out!

Thanks again for the advice, I'll put it to use this weekend!

I heart you guys, you rock!

-Mari
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Old 10-24-2003, 04:16 PM   #21  
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NEWS FLASH! GOT EDDIE IZZARD TICKETS FOR NOV 5TH! VERY EXCITED!

WILL COME BACK TO CHAT LATER.
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Old 10-24-2003, 04:55 PM   #22  
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Mari, best of luck with the parents. Putting up little fences around your adult life isn't exactly easy, but it's so necessary.

Raff, YAY YOU! It was a great show!

B
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Old 10-24-2003, 07:04 PM   #23  
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Here I am! (Said like in the movie "Zorro the Gayblade")

Hello Ladies! I am no longer on vaca and I am also not doing well on my weight loss adventure. These reasons have kept me from this party house, but I am back for more self-torture.

Mari - Like the girls have said, be strong! I would suggest that you precede your comments to your parents with "I love you both...." this might help ease some of the pain.

Thanks to all you lovelies, your kindness is much appreciated for all the support you provide to me and to others.


TGIF!

volley11
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Old 10-26-2003, 09:19 AM   #24  
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Hiya Ladies! Thanks for the positive vibes. They must have worked because I lost 1lb this week.

Brandy - Congrats! You're planning on getting pregnant. Good for you. I too have a lot of issues regarding getting pregnant and luckily my husband understands. I don't see myself getting pregnant in the near future. Maybe when I'm older; I'll have a change-of-life baby.

Volley - You'll get back on track. I think its safe to say that we all go through little slumps. I'm just getting out of a big one.

Dot - Hope you're doing well.

Mari - Not to seem like I'm standing on a soapbox, but your life is your business. I made the mistake of letting people, including my mother and sister get involved in my love life. When my husband and I were dating people were concerned because he was Arab. They were stereotyping him. They thought it was going to be like the Sally Field film, "Not Without My Daughter". My friends expressed concern, but my family was adimant about their disapproval. I almost had a nervous breakdown from the stress.

Well, once they got to know him they love him to death. And all apologized 50 times over. We have been married for 5 years now and Thank God he is exactly the same since the day we first met.

I guess the moral of my long story is: Hopefully your boyfriend is going to be your partner in life. Your life, and your parents have to accept that. Or you can be more forceful when speaking to them and say, "Get over it."

Take care,
Raff
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Old 10-26-2003, 05:42 PM   #25  
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hey girls just checking in to say I lost another 2 lbs.

okay gotta go and get ready for tomorrow.
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Old 10-27-2003, 02:22 AM   #26  
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Raff & Dot, congrats on your weight losses this week, well done!

Well, I must confess that I have found it very difficult over the weekend to get back on track and stay there. Every morning I started to write everything down, but by the evening I had gone overboard Today however, was my first day back at work (we have just had half term hols at school) and I felt so darned uncomfortable in my clothes ... it's amazing what a difference an extra few pounds can make! Anyway, I feel so depressed at the way I look, I know I've just got to do something once and for all. I've got so many things coming up over the next couple of months, they should be an incentive to me to stick to my diet ... ok, I know it's only 27 October, but it's gonna be Chirstmas before we know it Various Chirstmas 'Do's' to go to ... and we're planning to go away for Christmas ... I really don't want to be looking like this again!!! I feel so embarassed and self concious about the way I look. Why do I find this so difficult when it really is quite simple?

Well, it's the start of a new week so let's see if I can make it a good one. Hope everyone else has a good week.

Nichola
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Old 10-27-2003, 09:43 AM   #27  
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Happy Monday!

Congrats to the losers! Raff and Dot, WTG!

Nichola, you can get back on track again, I just know it. And you're so right - it's better to get going BEFORE the holiday craziness sets in so you have that momentum behind you. Well, that's my theory anyway

Volley, it's great to see you around again!

Today is my weigh in date and I'm at 251, which is down three pounds for last week so yay! I think that's like 14 since 9/29 and the lowest I've been since we started this list - and close to 240! Maybe I'll be in the 240s next week! That's so exciting! YAY!



Hope everyone has a GREAT week!

Brandy

Last edited by NicoleNYC; 10-27-2003 at 09:49 AM.
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Old 10-27-2003, 09:50 AM   #28  
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Ok, why won't my new sig show up?
Alright, THERE it is. I can move on now
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Old 10-27-2003, 10:30 AM   #29  
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Congrats Raff on your lose...sorry if I skipped you before.

Nicola- come on girl we know you can do it. Just plan ahead and try hard to stick to the menu.

Brandy-Alright girl! You are doing great. I'm telling you that's 14lbs in less that a month! Just keep on it and before you know it'll be another 14lbs and so on. Hey as long as its coming off .

As for myself, I am hoping to be 155 by thanksgiving and hopefully like 145 by new years. Keep them and coming. This week I reduced my plan by 1 pt. I know its not a lot, but I want to break myself into 20pts for the day. Now I am doing 21pts/ day.

Okay, well that it for now....I'll check in later.
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Old 10-27-2003, 10:35 AM   #30  
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Thumbs down DIET BUDDY NEEDED

YES INDEED I NEED A DIET BUDDY TOO. I HAVE SUCH A LONG WAY TO GO. HOWEVER I AM VERY SERIOUS. I HAVE BEEN ON THIS ROLLER COASTER TOO LONG AND I AM READY TO GET OFF. LAST WEEK I LOSSED 5 LBS AND THAT WAS SO GOOD. I AM ONLY GOING TO WEIGH MYSELF ONCE A WEEK NOW SINCE I REALIZED I AM OBSESSED WITH THE SCALE.
I CUT OUT SUGAR AND FLOUR AND THIS IS THE ONLY THING THAT HAS WORKED FOR ME THIS DRAMATIC IN OVER 2 YEARS. THURS WILL BE 2 WEEKS. IF I WEIGH IN 3 OR MORE LBS LESS THAN I WAS LAST THURDAY I WILL BE SO HAPPY. WW SCALE HAS ME AT 212 SO THAT IS THE NUMBER I WILL USE SO IF I AM 209 BY THURS THAT WOULD BE AWESOME.
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