Hi, everybody--It's 12:11 a.m., and I can't sleep. The reason I can't sleep is that I quit my job tonight, and I am pretty much in a state of shock. I'm glad I did it--as you all know, I've had my ups and downs in that job and with my boss--remember how I tried to quit last spring? But this week something was wrong--she criticized me for every little thing. Then tonight after closing, she took me aside and began basically to tell me that I was not doing the job she hired me to do, not working enough hours, (she compared me to herself and how she comes in at all hours to work--as if that was what she expected me to do too), and that she was taking away a pay increase she offered me the first time I tried to quit. I tried to quit because she piled so much work on me that I couldn't keep up. She also has a history of browbeating employees. She had tried to do it to me, and I wouldn't put up with it. The raise she gave me allowed me to do some of my computer work at home, which I was doing. There were only two weeks out of the whole summer that I didn't do computer work at home, and that was because I was so busy at the store right before school started that I needed a break from it once I got home. I did come to work on two extra Saturdays, once a full day, and the other a half day, to make up some of the time. She never before tonight questioned me about how many hours I worked at home or anything. This was absolutely the first mention about any of it. Another problem was that she would give me responsibilities, and then in effect tie my hands so I couldn't do the job she wanted me to do. She wanted me to take initiative--do things on my own, but when I took the initiative, I would be criticized for doing it differently from how she thought it should be done. Of course, I wouldn't know how she wanted it done until after I did it, and she didn't like it. If I didn't take the initiative, she would criticize me for that. So basically I've been in a catch-22 situation for some time. I think I've known it, because I haven't been happy for some time, but family finances made me feel that I had no choice but to stay. After what she said to me tonight, I knew I couldn't work for her any more. I told her this wasn't the job for me. I didn't even really clean my desk--didn't care. I just took three things that were mine, said bye, and walked out the door. In a week or so, when the bookkeeper comes back from vacation, I will call her to find out about a 401k account I want to cash in and to mail me any check that is still coming to me.

Right now I'm not going to do anything except stay home and collect myself and get some rest and catch up on all the things I am behind on. I don't want to make any hasty decisions about my future. I feel a great death-like loss inside myself. Part of me wants to blame myself. I'm not perfect (just like everyone else) but I know I was doing my best, and that this woman has a reputation for treating employees badly. Most people don't like her. I honestly think she wanted me to be a superwoman. I'm not one of those. I guess it's credit to me that I refused to be her doormat. I used to let myself be one to people. I'm kind of scared because we have some credit card debt, and I don't know how we're going to work that out. I have a strong faith in God, though, and I know He'll pull us through it. I also think maybe He had a hand in this. I've often been thinking lately that I wanted to spend more time with my girls, enjoy them during this time of their lives, have time to enjoy life a little more, spend more time doing what I wanted to do, rather than always juggling six or seven things and being forever tired. I've learned in my experience that having something on my mind like that for a while is more than just me alone feeling--that it's a power greater than myself directing me. I know it will be okay--we got through hubby's unemployment for 2 years when I had no job and two small children. I just want the hurting/death feeling to go away. Hubby said it would take time. He was really supportive of me--much more than I expected. He told me to take a few days for myself and do whatever I wanted--that he'd handle the house and stuff like that.

Also, I just wanted to say--also to my credit--I did not use food to anesthetize myself in my grief. I did have a bowl of cereal, but it didn't taste really good to me. I also ate an Atkins bar, and I had a glass of wine--I really needed to take the edge off my shock. I am going to make sure to walk in the morning and every morning. I really need to take time for me.

You know, it's 1:00 a.m. I feel much better having talked about all this. Thanks for listening, ladies. You're a real support to me.

Hey Everybody..I hope you enjoyed your weekend...As usual, mine just flew on by...I saw a movie...The Order on saturday night....man is Heath Ledger a hottie...even in a priest's outfit...

On Sunday, I went hiking in Mont Rigaud .... a very pretty setting..we did a 5km hike through the mountain....but I ate buger king...a whopper with onion rings!!! So when I got home, I cycled for another 4 km because I had spaghetti for dinner.

Hey Newie...hang in there...you did the right thing quiting...life is too short to be in a work enviroment that is killing you...it doesnt seem like your boss would have changed and you gave it your best effort is trying to fix your relationship with the boss. I think it was time for you to move on to better things and a better work situation. Its a good idea to take some time off and relax a little bit...like you said...get caught up on things and when you are ready to find work...I am sure you will. Stay strong and good on you for not eating away your stress with lots of fatty foods!

Hey ladies...post in and let us know how you are doing

Cyan

Hi, everyone--I'm here and making it. My hubby has been wonderful with all the turmoil this weekend, and friends I saw this weekend were so supportive of my decision to leave my job!I've also seen a lifting of stress in myself each day, and a similar opening of my eyes in regard to how I haven't been able to be really there for my kids, husband, or home in the last few months. My husband (his name is John) told me this morning that I seemed different. I did send a message to my kids' school principal that I would be available for substitute teaching (I am a teacher by trade), but other than that, I'm just going to try to get my life and my family's life together. We're trying to make some financial decisions now--about how to eliminate what we owe on credit cards (that's our only financial issue).

I do feel a sense of loss that John told me won't go away for a while, and I feel an unfinished feeling in that I left my desk just as it was except for three things that were important to me (my Smurf coffee cup--given to me by a former student nearly 20 years ago--my white-out pen, and a special ruler). I have no intention of going back there for anything, so I'll have to get over that feeling. I plan to write the bookkeeper about mailing me my final check, and I'll ask her to send me a couple of tiny photos of my girls that I had hung up with it. If she doesn't, oh well. I have more. I guess I took with me the important things--my dignity, self-esteem, and self-respect. Material things aren't important.

On to other things--I weighed myself this morning--I lost another pound--I'm down to 160.5. I'll be so excited to get under 160. It probably will happen fairly soon, because I really don't have much of an appetite right now. The most challenging thing for me to do is to maintain the low carb plan without some of the more expensive options I've been using up to now--some of the Atkins products--very pricey--and low-carb bread and peanut butter. I know it's only a matter of making good choices and limiting portions of high-carb foods, and I can do that.

Well, I'm going to get to the grocery store and get some housework done--is this house ever a wreck!!!!! I didn't see how bad it was till I slowed down. I'm also going to my local bank to discuss a financial option a friend in the banking business told me might be a good option for us. See you all tomorrow!!

I need to say this--it's so nice to be able to slow down!!! I was so exhausted and stressed!

Hey Ladies,
I hope all is well with you and you all had a great weekend!

Newie,
Cyan is right, you did the best thing. Being in a horrible work environment doesn't do any good for your inner self, and we all know that In order for us to be happy on the outside, we must be true to ourselves on the inside.

You did the right thing. Clear your mind of any wrong doing that you think you did. You worked hard and you know that, so don't browbeat yourself for that.

Lisa,
I hope you daughter is doing fine. I am sure her scar will fade away in no time.

Cyan, keeping busy I see... Good for you.

Well, I filled my new fridge with all healthy and Point -friendly foods this weekend. And today< I officially started writing down what I eat again and counting points right.

I weighed in yesterday and I am still 191.2(which is good for me) I didnt' gain anything since the last time.. Now, I want to be down at least 1-1.5lbs by next week...
We will see....

FYI, I found Lady's home address and sent her a card telling her how much we all missed her and to please drop in and check in with us...

I hope to hear from her...

Talk to you all soon!!

Reina

Things are going through a slow period here at work...I should take this opportunity to read up on the lates trends out there in my field but first I will post here.

Hey Reina..I hope you hear from Lady soon and keep us posted.

I didnt exercise last night..but tonight I am on that bike if it kills me I will focus on doing weights as well and some abdominals on my ball. All in all it should be about a 30 minute work out...yeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaa....ok gotta go but stay strong everyone and lets keep losing losing losing.

Cyan

Hi, everyone--enjoying being at home--I walked two miles this morning. Still working through some emotional issues with leaving the job, but that's normal, and I am feeling better each day and more peaceful too. Thanks, everyone, for your supportive words. I haven't heard anything but support from everyone I know who knows what my situation has been. The only unresolved issue is finances. But we have a good friend who is a banker, and he is going to advise us on eliminating any debts so we can live just on John's salary. I think it will work out just fine. Take care, all--have to get something done. Bye for now.

I have been working hard on my diet...every once in awhile I get away from the basics and start introducing very caloric and fatty foods in large amounts!!!...then I wonder why I am not losing weight...sooooooooooo......

This week I went back to the basics of no regular soft drinks...even if its one can per week...it then becomes one can per day ...one can per meal and so on I do this for all forbiden foods but I digress

Anyway, so I have gone back to the basics and we will see what happens with the nasty scale...please move left

I have found it very hard...I got used to drinking my regular sodas and loooooove them...so good..especially in the mornings..I also got used to having desert after dinner which ten turned into desert after lunch and then snacks accckkkk!!

So does anybody have similar stories where you slip back into old ways..I would be interested in hearing about that...

big hug

Cyan

Well ladies, sorry I haven't written sooner. We all made it and everything is going well. My boys adjusted well, quite suprising actually. We went to the Philadelphia Zoo today for Joshua's 5th birthday. Had lots of fun.
I won't be writing individual posts this time, but maybe next time. Has anyone tried Sugar busters? I am looking into trying something as I see it will be hard to watch my weight here in the states---too much food here in the USA:-)
Well, gotta go.

Deana

Hi Ladies,

I missed you all !!! The summer is over and I am ready to get back on track. My weigh loss has stalled and I need to get motivated again.

A quick update on what has been going on with me this summer...
we spent most of the summer at the lake house, renovating, fishing, boating...it was very nice. Although it needs a lot of work, the house has a beautiful view and the sunsets look like paintings. The house has no cable or computers and this forced my 5 and 8 year old sons to play together instead of watching tv or playing video games. They played chess, spent hours with their lego "inventions", built sand castles and forts on our beach, roasted marshmellows, and Jimmy my eight year started to get l interested in fly fishing. Now that school has started the boys are not watching as much tv and only played a video game once (when a friend was over) I hope to keep up the family time with them here.

Foodwise this summer has been bad! Too much ice cream , pizza, cookouts, wine, s"mores, fast food, you name it I was eating it this summer. Starting next week I am getting back on track. By Dec. 1st I plan to lose 20 pounds so I can look good for the holidays. Anyone want to join me?

I will do it by:

1. Eating breakfast every morning with the kids.

2. Taking a multi-vitamin for energy

3. Walking, biking, gardening, hiking, rowing, and doing my yoga tapes.

4. Put together a low-fat recipe book for myself of things I like to cook and I know my family will eat.

5. Take time for myself now that the kids are back in school ...get a massage, manicure, go to a few art museums, buy an outfit that I would not normally wear.

6. Instead of watching tv and snacking at night do something else..I signed my husband and I up for a landscape garden course that runs for 6 weeks on tuesdays in oct and Nov. I also want to put togethr some scrapbooks for holiday gifts and would like to work on them in sept, oct nov.

7. keep a food journal again and of couyrse start posting here again.

8 join weight watchers again.

9. Keep track of my goal on a weekly basis.

Currently I am 132 with 32% bodyfat up from 127 when I last posted and would like to be 112 by Dec. 1st with 25% bodyfat.


Well, I read a few posts and wanted to say I was so happy that lisa lost all the weight on adkins, cyan broke her plateau and is still as motivated, miki is still exercising, Deena is back in the states (and needs to visit me!), sad that lady is still missing, Happy that Reina is filling the fridge with healthy foods, and that newie is still part of the group. I'll write more individual posts in the next few days. I'm glad to be back!
1.

Hi ladies!

It's almost 11 pm and I still have things to do tonite but wanted to check in. I was thrilled to see everyone had posted! (just wish LadyRider would get back.) I dont have time to post much but foodwise I'm doing ok and still walking. Scale hasnt moved down anymore since last week or week before when I told ya'll I had finally gotten off that plateau. Maybe this week. I'll let you know. Sounds like summer is over and everyone is ready to get back into the groove of things. Hope we can all check in more now. Gotta run for now.

Miki

Hi, everybody! I haven't checked in for a day or two--still adjusting to my new at-home schedule and working through various feelings about my decision to quit my job so suddenly. I honestly don't regret it--I don't think I could have handled working for that woman anymore. Also, I've seen so much that I've neglected and am feeling so much less stressed. I've been very crabby for several months, and really wanted to stay at home anyway. I think God has been nudging me that way. The suddenness of the change is just a real shock to my system. The slower pace seems so weird right now--I'm so used to running everywhere, and everything always seemed to be a race against the clock. I can actually supervise my daughters' studying, and they've had afternoon phone calls from friends, which they could never have had before because they were in the school's extended day program. I'm yelling less and feeling less out of control, which are both good. There are just some things that feel so uncertain right now, like "what is my life about now?", learning to structure myself in an unstructured setting, being alone more, and learning to live on one income. Although John is very supportive of me, it has also caused him some anxiety, now that he is the sole breadwinner. He has experienced job loss himself a couple of times, and he has found himself asking if it could happen to him again, especially since his yearly review is coming up. That, I guess, no one can answer. We just keep prayer in our lives. The only other thing I am experiencing is this feeling of real inner sadness that comes and goes--I've been told that's a feeling of loss normal in this situation, and it will take time to go away. I feel sad that I really didn't get to say goodbye to my coworkers, and there were several I really liked. Anyway, I'm trying to be good to myself during it all--got a haircut today. And I work on household things that have been neglected, but I'm not killing myself to get everything done by tomorrow. I'm really trying to be very gentle with myself. I'm not sleeping well, so if I want a nap during the day, I take it.

I'm trying to take good care of myself food and exercise-wise. I'm walking 2 miles in the morning now--no deadlines to make me leave the track when I want to walk more, and I'm trying to stick to my low carb routine as much as possible. I am avoiding sweets like the plague--I'll get addicted to them again if I try even a cookie. Cyan, you really were talking to me when you spoke of how you start by having one of something daily, and then it leads to two daily, and then it grows and grows from there till you are out of control. I honestly think it's the addictive power of certain foods--for me it's sweets, anything crunchy that's either sweet or salty, and anything in the grain family--anything carbs, I guess. If I let myself start eating those things, then I begin thinking about ways I can include them more and more frequently, and then the more I eat them, the more I think about them, and on and on and on.

Anyway, it was great reading everyone's posts, and I'm sure that I'll be able to respond more individually as I get my head together. Thanks for listening as I work through this whole transition. Take care, everyone!!

Hi everybody

Newie, I'm sorry that your job ended the way it did, but overall, I'd say it was a positive thing. A paycheck isnt worth being stressed out and feeling as if everything around you is out of control. That's the way I had started feeling when I finally went from fulltime to parttime. I was feeling like none of it, my job, husband, kids, house, etc. were getting the full attention they needed. Now, I still work most days but just knowing I have the option of saying no when I need to makes it so much less overwhelming or stressful. Just the fact that you are feeling better and are in a better mood and frame of mind makes it worth it. I bet your family wouldnt trade that for anything!

Debee, so glad you're back! We missed you too. Your family time all summer sounds wonderful. I'd love to lose 20 lbs at least by Christmas so I'm going to join you in that challenge. My losing has been crawling lately but maybe together we can get the speed back up.

Cyan, I've been much more slack too in what I let myself eat or drink. I need to get more strict with it like I was in the beginning.

Deana, glad you made it to the states safely. Will you be in the Philadelphia area the whole time or traveling to different places? And for how long? You're welcome to drop by Arkansas.

Reina, I'm happy to hear your found Lady's address. Maybe soon we'll hear from her again. I hope everything is ok. How are you doing with your points so far? I hated finding out about your fridge...it's sickening when that happens. Girl, you are right about the year flying by...I cant believe we've all been around that long! Pretty cool our group is still going strong.

Lisa, how is your daughter's face healing up? Good thing she has a nurse for a mommy. Dont worry too much about failing that test...I'm sure you'll do better next time! Ok Im curious about your fun news...I'm not a patient person.

Well all, better run. Almost time for "taxi mom" to round up the kids. I swear I stay in the road as much as I stay at home!


Miki

Hi, everybody--it was great to read your post, Miki. I agree that being stressed out for a paycheck isn't worth it. I'm a better wife and mom already. Everyone in my family can tell. I'm now struggling with something else related to the topic of jobs which has added a bit of stress to my life. My hubby got a short evaluation from his supervisor at work--he's in graphic arts--works for a publishing company. She said he hasn't been growing as much as the department had hoped he would. She said he needed to make improvements in his performance or she'd give him about six months to make other employment arrangements. Now I don't know how long he has to make the improvements--that all was pretty vague (my hubby is fairly new in the field and doesn't learn as quickly as some of the younger folks), but it didn't make me feel very good. I'm still glad I quit my job--I literally couldn't take that woman any more, but since 1995, when the General Mills cereal plant my husband worked at for 20 years closed down, my husband has spent 2 years in school full-time studying graphic arts, and has had three different graphic arts positions. One he was let go from, and the other one he quit for what he has now. Job loss, unemployment and financial insecurity are very scary things for me to deal with. We've been praying a lot about it and decided he should simultaneously do two things: 1) work to improve his performance so he can hopefully keep his position, and 2) begin a job search in case he is ultimately let go. As a matter of fact, I just finished helping him revise his resume. For now, I am still staying home--there is so much here that needs my attention, we're going on with our financial plans with our banker friend. At some point I may go back to work, maybe even teaching again. I am trying very hard not to worry about the future. I am a very religious person, but I have trouble with things that are out of my control. I am sure that a lot of my overeating behavior originates with that issue. I have used it to comfort myself in situations that were out of my control. I'm not doing that now, though. As a matter of fact, since I quit my job, I've lost 3 lbs. I'm down to 158 1/2 lbs. That's the lowest I've been in years. The change and loss and all that has gone on recently has kept me from eating very much. Anyway, I don't want to keep going on and on about my problems. It was so good to hear from all of you. I'll keep in touch. Tomorrow I am cutting the grass and beginning to work on the sponge painting of my daughter's room. I guess that will keep me busy for a while. I guess I'm taking it one day at a time. Thanks for being there for me.

Hi,

Back from another busy weekend at the lake. We had the house painted last week and I was anxious to see how it came out...we painted it something called cape cod gray..sort of a creamy tan color and had the trim painted a dark green. During the summer my son and hubby made pine tree cut-out shutters and I filled window boxes with flowers. It is beginning to look real cute! This weekend I vowed not to eat any junk food and I was pretty good...friday night we went out to dinner and I had one whiskey sour and a chicken dish, saturday I had one blueberry pancake for breakfast, lunch was some very hot chili, dinner was a little pasta , leftover chicken and a glass of red wine. sunday I had whole wheat toast and a small amount of eggs and ham, lunch was some brie, ham and french bread and dinner was an apple...although it is 8:30 and I could really go for a small snack..maybe some popcorn. Exercise this weekend was gardening and a nice long family walk. this week I plan to go for a walk each day and begin my yoga tapes again.

Miki, I would love for you to join me on my Christmas challenge! It would be great if we could package up a 20 pound weight loss...what a great gift it would be for ourselves!

Cyan, how is your mom doing. I think of you often...everytime I am food shopping and see sushi you pop in my mind.

Lisa, isn't it great that your first year of nursing is under your belt..also you muat feel so good with all the weight you lost.

Reina, make sure that refridge is filled with healthy food...hey I just had an idea..let's name the three most unusual things in our fridge. Here's mine

1. A three year old jar of lemon curd. My husband got it for me on a business trip in London and I don't know what you use it for but I can not throw it out.

2. Ginger root. I read somewhere if you suck on it if you have a headache it helps.

3. Slimy basil from my garden that about a month ago I was going to make pesto.

Newie, my mom always told me "When one door closes another opens ...or at least a window of opportunity " I believe things happen for a reason, at the right time that you need them to happen.

I would love to hear from Lady...maybe her new business really took off and she is really busy.

Deana, please check in with us and if you get a cahnce let's try to meet up for lunch (low-calorie of course!)

Hello Everyone!

DEBEE, HELLOOOOOOO There, I have missed you, I just found your address the other night, I tore it off the mailing you had sent me and put in a box and I just found it...

Sounds like you have a beautiful Lake house! I would love to see it sometime! Sounds like a regular Home and Garden Viewing Home!!

Well, I have tried to stay good this week, but I have to be honest, my flab is reallyyyyy getting to me. I am noticing that flab below my belly button is getting well, let's say FLABBIER!
and maybe bigger???

So, I am on a hunt for the perfect ab trainer! I need to get rid of that quick!

Hope you all had a great weekend! I got sick last week with Sinusitis and it wasn't pretty, my eyes were all swollen and red and I had to wear sunglasses for 4 straight days! But I am feeling better, I ate lots of sugar free jello, so hopefully that helped!

Well, gotta get back to work, I still haven't heard back from Lady! I gave her my phone number, hoping she would call me.....

talk to you all soon!

Debee, I am gonna take you up on your challenge, 20lbs by December! I am so there!
Let's plan out!