I love this thread! I'm built, like a male friend once so eloquently put it, like a "linebacker breeder". I wear size 11w shoes, men's gloves, and my wedding ring size is larger than my husbands! Even when not working out I stay fairly muscular, and build muscle easily with minimal work. Basically I'm pretty solid, at least under all the flab on top, lol. It makes it really hard to determine a goal weight, because the "experts" want me around 160, which I have listed as my goal weight but in my mind it's up for debate. I remember weighing 160 when I was around 12, very fit, and hadn't developed boobs yet! I'm thinking I'll be better off around 185-190, but I guess we'll see as I get closer to it.

Hello Nurse, I can totally relate. I build muscle easily as well, so a lot of those exercise videos that are being advertised on TV just make me bigger and more masculine looking. It's a terrible thing to workout and sweat so hard and the only result is that you build bigger muscles under your fat. You burn very little fat if any with these exercise routines, but you build muscle like crazy. I was informed a while ago that my body type is called "endomesomorph", which is the most exasperating body type to have. If I want to lose weight, lose fat, reshape and tone, I have to be veryyyyy discipline with my diet (high lean protein, very few carbos). I must walk (in the fat burning zone at a steady pace) for at least an hour a day. I must use fluid ballet-like body movements using my body's own weight to reshape and tone. I must never lift weights, not even 5lbs. dumbbells. Yes, I've tried all of this simultaneously, and it works. However, I have to be discipline and organized to do it and to stick to it. Usually, I fall off the wagon if a crisis distracts me. And then, it takes a long time before I can get back on the wagon again. For the past month or two I've been working on my mind and emotions to set myself up for success in this area of my life. I know how to lose weight; I just need to start thinking correctly and managing my emotions and stress correctly so that I can really take good care of my body.

Why don't people think before they speak? I mean, really. I've been reading your posts, and most of you have mentioned the unflattering comments that have been lodged at you by folk who seem to me to suffer from diarrhea of the mouth and constipation of the brain. Who in their right mind would tell a woman that she is a "linebacker breeder" or "she's from good stock" as if she were livestock instead of a person. Maybe I'm overreacting. However, for most of my life I was surrounded by negative, judgmental (even mean) people who always thought that it was their duty to keep me informed about my appearance, so I have formed some strong opinions about people making personal and oftentimes insulting comments that are unwarranted and unsolicited. The funny thing about it is that if we were to turn the tables on these "commentators" to show them how it feels, they would be very upset and would hate us forever. For instance, one of my former principals (yes, a principal of a school) decided to inform me (out of the blue) that I had broad shoulders like a swimmer or a gymnast. He went on to say that I was genetically built this way. He said this to me in a public setting. I was mortified. I wanted to tell him that his receding hairline (he was noticeably self-conscious about this) with its pitifully thin widow's peak meant that he was follicle-challenged-- its genetic you can kiss your hair goodbye. But I didn't issue a retort, he was my boss. But I would have loved to have returned the favor.

That bothers me too. Why would anyone feel they have the need, or the right, to comment on another person's body. The "linebacker breeder" comment was innocent, however. I'm friends with both he and his wife, and she is naturally tall and super thin. She has a lean, not naturally muscular build. We were talking about our respective body types when he made the analogy. It was pretty accurate, and not in an offensive context at all

Well, most importantly I'm glad you weren't offended and that you didn't consider the person's comment to be mean-spirited or out of context. However, usually these types of comments generally carry their own unique kind of sting.

Oh I loved my muscle, I have a beautiful home gym. Had to give up serious weight training due to tendon deterioration but I'm really, really thinking about getting back into it, just need to consult with my doctor.

It's nice to know I'm not the only one that's been in the supermarket and had a shorter person tap them on the shoulder from behind and say "Excuse me, sir, could you get that can off the top shelf?" even with my long hair. I have a story I like to tell, from the time my husband and I were vacationing in Provincetown. For those of you not familiar, Provincetown (nicknamed P-town) is very popular with the gay crowd. I was standing at a counter waiting to pick up our classic New England style lobster boil dinner in this shanty restaurant on a dock while my husband held the table. Now you have to know, my husband and I both have long hair and prefer large framed glasses. On vacation we tend to dress similarly, basically cargo shorts and tees. As I head back to the table with dinner I see my husband laughing his head off. He's sitting there alone so I've gotta ask what's so funny. Turns out that two rather effeminate men at the table next to him were having a quiet debate about me. Specifically they could not decide whether I was a guy or a girl. I couldn't decide whether to be humiliated, indignant or proud that I was able to completely throw off not one but TWO gay mens gay-dar.

Hi ReNew Me, did you do any pro or amatuer bodybuilding before your tendon injury? I've always been interested in toning (not bulking)my muscles while stripping off the fat that's covering it. It seems that I really have to be extraordinarily discipline to do this, and it usually occurs at a slow rate. My diet must consist of almost no carbs, which is really, really, really, really hard. Did I say that it was really hard? :-) If you have any pointers or instructions on how to strip the fat off so that I can see my muscles (they are naturally big) without losing my mind because I crave bread and pasta, please let me know.

Hey GameChanger, I wanted to compete so badly from the time I was in my 20s. My personal life prevented the training and dieting the way I needed to. By the time my life was in a place where I could do the diet/training, I started having health problems (my health has been screwed up since the late 1990s, but I was able to weight train until about three years ago).

The simple facts are that most people do not have the metabolism to strip fat while maintaining the majority of their muscle. It can be done up to a point but as you already pointed out in your post it requires discipline and regimented eating.

I could go into a dissertation that explains metabolism, anabolism, catabolism, blah, blah, blah ... I'll give you the simplest metaphor I know: Ever watch Survivor? By the end of the season just about EVERYONE left on the island has ripped abs. Why? Diet. There is an old saying in the weight training community: "Abs are built in the kitchen." It's true.

POWERLIFTING (as opposed to bodybuilding) is about leverage and pure strength. Many powerlifters do not "look strong" or can look downright pudgy. Many bodybuilders can look like they can rip the roof off your car but they don't have the strength of powerlifters, they just have really low bodyfat ... hang with me for a moment and I'll bring this together.

Muscle is actually metabolically wasteful from a biological perspective. What that means is simply that one pound of muscle burns more calories than one pound of fat (or bone, or just about anything that falls under the "not 100% critical" category -- like heart or brain). So, in a famine situation, our bodies are going to do everything they can to reduce metabolism which is why starvation diets result in rapid weight loss: Our bodies cannibalize our muscles BEFORE they attack fat stores (to a point) to reduce overall metabolism. And that's why starvation diets ultimately fail: After the person goes back to eating normally they've now got a significantly reduced metabolism because of lost muscle and now they're eating above their requirements and they yo-yo back up the scale.

This all is both too long and yet is EXTREMELY condensed but I'm trying to explain how the whole fat/muscle thing works and it helps to understand why cutting fat and retaining muscle is so hard. What successful bodybuilders can do is find a "personal sweet spot" where they can retain an enormous amount of muscle while simultaneously burning fat. That requires basically fanatically precise eating, seriously. I'm talking eating everything weighed to the gram, eaten on a schedule. And still not everyone's body is capable of getting down into single digit fat levels. It's a genetics thing as much as a discipline thing ...

Long story short ... if you really, really want to lose fat and retain muscle (a/k/a toning) you have to be a total diet psycho and watch the proportions of carbs to protein to fats vigilantly. It's very hard for a lot of people, they often go at it the wrong way and lose patience (you can't be half-way about this kind of diet, you have to go completely clean and sacrifice the junk for months at a time) and even if they go at it totally balls to the wall with complete dedication they still might not have the genes to achieve the results they want.

Did I answer your question or go completely south? I've been doing that a lot recently. If I went off the reservation let me know. I realize you aren't really interested in so much competition but more general body image but the concepts apply, which is why I ended up covering so much ground.

I was kind of tired and distracted when I wrote that earlier post and I failed to give you the ratios that most bodybuilders start from when it comes to cutting (which is the process of dropping bodyfat while retaining maximum muscle). Please bear in mind I'm coming at this from the perspective of a female bodybuilders looking to cut. Men can approach things differently and still have success, women need to be highly disciplined.

One thing you need to know is that for the most part people who are considering serious cutting are usually weight training anywhere from two to five hours a week in three to five weekly sessions, in addition to anywhere from 30 to 60 minutes a day of cardio.

Now, having that knowledge, the general rule of thumb to cut is 10 to 12 times your bodyweight in calories broken down into macro ratios (in grams) of 40% protein/30% fat/30% carbohydrate. You don't start at the lowest percentage, you start at the highest percentage and then assess progress, which would work like this:

Assume (for the sake of math simplicity) you weigh 200 pounds. You will be eating a total of 2,400 calories a day in about five or six small meals. At the end of the day you would have needed to have consumed 240 grams of protein, 180 grams of carbohydrate and 80 grams of fat while drinking anywhere from one to two gallons of water a day. You will not eat refined foods or sugars. The usual diet consists of eggs/egg whites, plain oatmeal, chicken breast, low fat fish, brown rice, sweet potatoes, low carb veggies, olive and/or flaxseed oils and protein powders if the person is having a hard time getting their protein macro in.

Most people start with the 12 x their bodyweight number, weigh themselves before they start the diet, weigh and measure themselves weekly, maintain a weight training log, and then consider adjustments after anywhere from two weeks to a month. Those adjustments are based on if they're losing too fast/too slow or gaining fat or their lifts are stalling or going down. Depending on what's happening with their weight and lifts (and even photographs from all angles) calories may be raised or lowered or macros adjusted.

Hey Renew Me, I'm sorry that you've suffered from ill health, and I'm also sorry that you didn't get the chance to pursue your dream earlier in life. However, if you still desire it, it's not too late. I've read about female bodybuilders who competed well into their late 50s. So if you still want to go for it, I say, "Go for it!" You would probably be spectacular.

Thank you for all of this helpful information. I appreciate it very much. You're right, I don't desire to be a bodybuilder or to have a total bodybuilder's physique. (I doubt that I could achieve it anyway, like you said--genetics.) However, I do want to significantly decrease the fat I have covering up everything. The diet you've written is similar to a plan that I was on a few years ago (everything except the oatmeal). And you're right again, the diet worked like a charm. I lost weight and fat, felt better physically, and many ailments I had been suffering disappeared. At first, it came off fast (25 pounds the first month), but then it slowed down somewhat (8-10 pounds a month). I was very pleased with the results, but the diet was so restrictive. After about six months, I fell off the wagon due to stress, time-management, and cravings.

Let's face it. I've got to get more disciplined about my food choices and gain better control of my mind and emotions. Hopefully, I'll be able adopt this meal plan as a life style change instead of a temporary experiment so that I can reach my weight loss goal and maintain it. It will also help in correcting some of my health concerns. I've just got to wrap my mind around it and accept the fact that I can't just eat anything I want. Thanks again Renew Me. I appreciate it.

Hi Ladies,
I hope everyone had a great weekend. I was surfing the net and found the following resource for big and tall women. It's a sort of pathfinder for clothing and shoes (yes, even boots). Check it out when you get the chance:

http://www.tallwomen.org/clothes/usa/

I hope this is helpful.

Oh, GameChanger you are so sweet but serious weight training like I used to do is completely out of the question for me and I'm not so sure at this stage of the game, with hormone issues and the fact I'm lucky to be able to use my one arm at all. Heck, if I can do a few things down the road (even if I have to buy assistive devices) I'll be happy but there are certain moves that I would be placing certain tendons under too much strain and I've spent too much time and money over two plus years of recovery to jeopardize it.

Oh, you mentioned that you found good success with cutting fat on a clean, managed diet but fell off the wagon due to the restrictiveness. Bodybuilders run into the same problem, which is why they build a planned cheat day into their diet (for some people it's just a cheat meal) Usually they have ONE day every two weeks to a month that is their cheat day (some people call it a refeed). The thing is, your body usually needs it, too and it keeps the fat burning process moving along.

Awesome! So glad I found you guys been dealing with the big n talk for well... Ever!
I've recently moved to the USA from Canada and my fiancé always says I've got that northern blood- that's why I'm so talk- lol I can't help it!
I'm far from dainty- but I like to pretend!

Hey Renew Me, how's it going. I've been celebrating dropping 14lbs. since May. I may not be dropping it like its hot and 14 may not be a big number, but I promised myself that I would learn to celebrate small successes. I have so much weight to lose, and waiting the two years it will probably take me to drop all of it to celebrate is just stupid. So I'm celebrating the little steps.

I love the cheat day idea. If I can have one of those every other week, that would definitely help my morale which will help me to stay on target. Thanks for the info. I appreciate it.

Hey Mountain Mama and welcome to the Sisterhood. I sometimes pretend about the daintiness as well. I think it's fun.