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Old 04-14-2012, 10:16 PM   #16  
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Hang in there.

First break ups are always hard because there's nothing else to compare them to. The late teens and early 20's are collecting yardstick experiences. Everything is bright and new and every feeling is sharp and poignant.

I remember my first break up was HORRIBLE. But my second was a lot better and made up for the first -- much classier way to part and though we eventually lost touch, I have fond memories of him. Other break ups past that were even easier because I knew how to tell if it was going to be a long term BF or not even a runner, how to handle the "you aren't the one for me" talk more gracefully (giving and receiving). Both I and my dates were older too -- less awkward, more gracious. Dating gets better.

First break ups are also hard because often as a teen this person has become very important and you've lost a bit of connection with other friends. So when something horrible happens it's like you want to tell you BEST companion and wait a minute... that's the ex... shoot! Don't want to talk to THEM about how it feels horrible without them!

But don't worry. Take a deep breath. Be with your family, your other friends. Do your school activities and hobbies and volunteering and hobbies and work and whatever else you do.

You will heal at your own speed. Don't worry too much about how he's doing with his process. That's not your worry or your job. Tend to your own self.

In fact, it's like tending a garden. Life cycles around. There's a time to rip old plants out and compost to make room for the new. It's grubby and UGH feeling work. If it is your first garden you might not know how to work it well yet. Not esp efficient at clearing the brush. Not esp adept with the garden tools.

BUT... If you have learned something from the experience -- yay! You will be all the richer for it the next cycle for when it is time to plant and clear and plant and clear over time. Your next heart garden crops will probably yield even better!

It may feel like your heart is broken, but it keeps on beating all the same.

Don't worry about whatever he's doing. He's got to do his own healing/personal growth at his pace/style and he's got his own row to hoe.



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Old 04-21-2012, 02:16 PM   #17  
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Yes, break-ups are difficult at any age, but we are more tender when we are young. The good thing is that you realize in your mind that the relationship wasn't a good one, but it will just take a little time for your heart to catch up ...

You are a very pretty girl, and lots of guys would be honored to be your friend. Try to keep busy, have fun with your friends, enjoy your youth and singleness -- the world has so much to offer you right now. Life is an adventure, and a continuous learning experience. Take advantage of it now, while you are young and free ...

Last edited by Justwant2Bhealthy; 04-21-2012 at 02:20 PM.
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