Modcat - I'm sorry to hear about your financial woes. It's scary, these times we live in. It must be especially hard having to be so stressed and work hard at bringing a loved one's spirits up. More . Chin up!

Everyone - Thanks for the suggestions/support about the scale weight. It's nice to know that others are going through this too. I do weigh myself everyday (bad I know, but I'm so addicted to it at this point!). I record the weight in my trusty Excel spreadsheet hehe. I was hoping to see an overall loss at the end of the month with all the fluctuations in between. That 170.5? That was the end of the month. I started out at 169.5. So I um gained a lb over a month. Nice. Way to go, bod.

Well, I finished Day 12 today, woohoo!! And I have an exercise class tonight so I'm psyched to add something new to my workout regimen.

Flyby here - from the states!!! Dang it's cold here! LOL

Mod - I'm so sorry to hear about you personal troubles! I hope you find effective ways of dealing with it all while preserving your mental and physical health!!!

Hi everyone!
Thanks for your words of encouragement. Denial is not a river in Egypt, you know? Sometimes though, I am the queen of denial. One of these days I will learn that it is not worth it.

So, I am back on track...logging my food, back on Adtkins and logging my water and exercise. I made it all today except the exercise. I am starting that tomorrow as I have been really tired and just need to go to bed. Soon.

Modcat-I am so sorry to hear about your financial woes. It is such a bad time right now in our country and people just can't keep up with what is happening. But, you will make it through this and get your feet back under you. I hope you can keep your house. My parents went through what you are going through and they made it out the other side with their home and then just worked to rebuild their credit. Luckily, you are two educated professionals who can more readily recover. Try to keep your center, be good to yourself, get your sleep and exercise and keep talking about it. It is so painful to have a traumatic event and not be able to talk. Try not to feel horrified or ashamed. Even though money is important, you did not commit a moral crime, you are a victim of circumstance. These things happen to most all of us in one way or another at some time in our life. When I was young I got evicted because I could not afford my rent and I ate popcorn for four days until my mom sent me food money. That was scarey. Thank goodness a friend took me in for a while. Let people help you and we will help you, too!

Red-YOU are rockin' on the no alcohol! Is it getting easier to avoid drinking or to respectfully decline? I admire your resolve and hard work! And congratulations of making those non-stretchy pants a little looser. One of these days soon you will get that button done.

I enjoyed reading your comments about training as a rider. We all need such passions in our lives to make us feel the spark of life! What is your horse's name? Description? Breed? I liked the kitty pictures, do you have a horse picture?

Miriam-I am glad to see you finally made it back to the states for your visit! I bet your kids are having the time of their lives! Are you seeing all the sights and visiting family? Hope you have a wonderful time!

Hi Tex! Glad to see you doing so well and back on track! And, I am glad you made it through all the sick kids and feeling low yourself!

Sunni-Keep going! You have the right attitude, even if your body is not cooperating. Sometimes you just have to outwait and outwit it! Good job on all of the exercise, too!

Hi Cyndi! Good for you for ridding your life of all the sweets! Do you find you are feeling better? I rarely eat sweets anymore (this from a person who used to be a professional pastry chef) anyway, I find that my energy is so much more steady and I don't get headaches like I used to now that I am on a very low sugar/sweets diet. I ordered a regular coke the other day and honestly could not drink it, and I used to love the stuff. I ordered an ice tea later. Good luck with that and let me know how it is going!

Foreverlove-Welcome to the forum! I know you will love it here! Good luck on your challenge!

Well, if I have missed anyone, I am sorry. You are all the best, but I am just out of steam and off to an early bed time.

Adtkins day 1
logging food day 1
8 glasses of water day 1
exercise day 0, tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow

G'night!
Sheri

Daily Exercise Day 10
Level 3
Exercise? Check!
Stats? 37.30 minutes on the elliptical – 6.50 miles
Mood? (This is for you, redballoon!) If this was an hour ago, I would say I felt like ROADKILL! But now, an hour after exercising, I feel awesome. My legs are very sore, but I just can’t believe I’m still doing this. It’s a gift every day that I do this, a gift to myself and to my future.

I had to exercise late tonight, but I DID get it in before midnight. I finished up around 11:15, actually, but I wanted to shower and cool down before posting. So the post is late, but I did day 9 ON day 9, I promise! I can’t believe I went 6.50 miles again. I wasn’t sore at all today from yesterday’s workout. So when I got on, I was surprised that both of my entire legs were insanely sore! I nearly gave up at 2.50 miles, so I kept setting mini-goals. I’d tell myself, “Surely you can do just one more quarter mile.” So I quarter miled it all the way to 6.50. It took a little longer than last night, but not much. And I’m still in shock that I made it. Thanks to everyone for the continued encouragement, so much of this is YOUR success, because without you, I really don’t think I’d have stayed committed past DAY 2. I’m NOT kidding. So thank you!
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modcat44 – Great job staying on plan today despite the incredible pressure and turmoil you’re going through right now. You are so incredibly strong to have maintained through all of this. I’m so impressed, truly. And I wish I did live near you; I’d LOVE to have an exercise partner! I’ll tell you what, though. I KNOW I’d never make it 6.50 miles of actual running. I can’t run 6.50 FEET! It is so much easier on the elliptical, and it helps seeing the distance tick by; it keeps me going somehow. I’ve always admired runners. When I get more of this weight off, I’m thinking of jogging on the river levee by our house. A lot of people do that around here, and I always look up at them longingly. It looks so fun and refreshing, running by the river like that. And I am so sorry about your bad financial news today. I will keep you in our prayers. I just saw your second post regarding your financial woes. That sounds so weak…”woes.” And don’t you dare apologize for “bringing down the party.” You are understandably at the end of your wits, and we’re here for you no matter what you need. I’m just heartbroken for you, truly. This is so incredibly sad, and I’m so proud of you for trying to stay as upbeat as possible and maintaining your sense of humor. I understand what you mean about being fiscally responsible, I do, even the feeling arrogant about it. But with the economy as crappy (another weak word) as it is right now, there is only so much you can do. Right now, you need to focus on what’s best for your family. This hit you like a freight train, and it’s not something you could have prepared for. I really hope that you are able to get out from under this. And I promise you, we will be praying for you hard core. And if you need to vent again? We’re here for you, promise.

redballoon – FOUR WEEKS?!? FOUR WEEKS!?!? Here’s another one for you, four, count ‘em four weeks you’ve got down! That’s an entire month of hard core success. Way to go! I love your counting tricks, by the way. I actually tried it tonight on the elliptical, and it helped! In fact, that’s how I broke through that 2.50 mile mark when I thought I’d quit. I had read up on your posts before exercising – I tend to do that and it motivates me to get in there after reading about everyone’s successes for the day. Where do I get the will/motivation to keep going? That’s actually harder to answer than it seems. It’s soooo many things. First and foremost, I always pray for strength and determination before (and during) exercise. And I remind myself that God made me, but he didn’t make me FAT. HA! Only I have control over that. And I’m thankful for working out at home. I seriously talk out loud to myself in there. When I want to give up, I will verbally say to myself, “You can do this! Just keep going a little farther; you’ll be so glad you did.” And if that doesn’t work, I get mean and go Jillian on my own a**. I’ve argued with myself. “I’m so weak. I can’t do this.” “No you’re not! Weak is what made you FAT. So shut up and just DO IT.” Don’t I sound NUTS?!? Ha! That’s okay, because it works, and I’ll get mad and push harder. Also? THE IPOD! I received one as a gift a while back, and last week I got DH to load it down with lots of fast rock songs and some really lame but upbeat stuff. But it helps, because I don’t get to listen to music a lot. I’m always studying. So when I turn on the ipod, I look forward to hearing the next song and the next and the next. Thank you for the poem, too! It is PERFECT. I’m going to print it out and read it more – it’s VERY motivational. Keep ‘em coming! That was my little present from you! It sounds like you had a great day today, despite the problem with your horse. I’m really sorry to hear about that, but I AM glad that your teacher was kind to you today. That had to be a welcome change. And I LOVE your cats – they ARE like our children! We have two – well, technically three, one lives outside – and we have conversations with them like we’re human. Dang, I’m sounding more and more insane by the minute. The bad thing? It’s not because it’s after midnight! I’m just plain crazy. Heehee

CyndiM – WTG on nailing THREE challenges again! That’s one tall order you’ve got there, and you are DOING IT! Great job on tossing the Dove, too. Mmmmmm, dove. That’s some willpower right there, buddy. You are so focused, and you should be proud of yourself. Keep it up! And thank you for your kind comments. I can’t BELIEVE someone called ME an inspiration. I read that earlier today, and it nearly brought me to tears. It just felt so good, because YOU all inspire me every day. And it felt so good to remember, again, that I really am doing it this time and that it means something to others is really cool. Thank you for that; you made my day.

ForeverLove (Randi) – Welcome! I’m sure I’m not alone here in saying that you are MORE than welcome. There aren’t that many of us here, so it’s pretty easy to keep up. And everyone is so incredibly supportive. Your challenges sound great, and quite doable. Let us know how you’re doing every day!

Sunnigummi – You too? I record my weight on Excel, too. Ha! And day twelve! You’ve got nearly two full successful weeks under your belt. WTG! I hope your exercise class was as great as you hoped it would be. You have a great attitude. Keep it up!

miriam101 – Bundle up! It’s good to hear from you. Stay warm and have a blast!

Quixotica – Good for you for getting back on track. Great job! I’m running out of steam at this point, and I’m sure you’re all sick of reading! But I hope your trip was great, and WTG for getting back on plan.

Sorry for being so long-winded everyone. Can you tell I'm done with the semester? All kinds of time to waste. HA! Seriously, I just wrote a freakin' book. My apologies!

Hi everyone! Well, I think that I am offically back on track I have finish Day 3 of both exercising and clearing my home of clutter - 1 bag at a time I have not been on the scale for 2 days, I was tempted last night, but I just walked past it. I don't know what this strange fascination is with weighing myself is. I never voluntarily stepped on a scale BEFORE my weight loss journey began

mod I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through financial problems. I'm glad that you are here and are able to talk about it though. Keeping it inside is not good. From reading your post, I think it sounds like you are holding up well. A few years ago, we lost all of our "cushion" - I know how it feels - it's not so much the money, it's the security that it brings with it. More it will get better!

Red - WTG on your booze/ciggy challanges Glad to see you doing so well!

Quix - Hope all is well - Eventually I will finish some challanges too

Hope everyone is doing well! Have a great day!

Hello All,

Writing it down challenge (3 pauses): Day 8 complete 1-pause used.

Well I ended up using a pause for Sunday But 6 days in a row is pretty impressive for me. I'm usually good for 3-4 then "oh I'll just restart next week". I restarted keeping track on Monday, but have been way off track with eating (the numbers look pretty scary), but I didn't want to have to report that I started over so I've been writing away. Hopefully, that will make getting back on track easier.

I need to come on-line more often it took me so long to read the posts that now I don't have time to post personals

So I'll just say this:

to all who are sticking to their challenges or working on sticking to them.

Modcat - feel free to vent anytime And hang in there

Red - your cats are cute and so is the horse, love the pics.

Have a great day everyone.

-Tech

Hey everyone. I'm back, starting over Day 13, I think I was on. No exercise yesterday, and ate out with DH (at Hooter's, just try to find healthy food at that joint!) and then came home and had "dessert". Not too good but hopefully back on track today. At least, no beer. Haven't had any this entire challenge, nor any wine, like Red says, it's just become another "habit" to not even think of having any. Had a headache off and on most of the day and I NEVER get headaches, so maybe that encouraged me not to want any alcohol, instinctively not wanting to wake up with a new one!

I don't know what to say to everyone, except all of your comments and support have meant more to me than you could ever know. Seriously, tears and everything when I finally got brave enough to open up the thread today and read everything posted. I actually thought I would feel better yesterday venting, but strangely, I didn't. I felt more naked and vulnerable and weaker and thought, oh jeez, why did I do that, that's TMI, what is everyone going to think of me, etc. Why am I so concerned with everyone else's opinions of me, still, at age 44, even an anonymous online community? THAT is weak, right there!

But now actually, after reading everything and accepting the helpful support, I DO feel better, much better! (Maybe the cry had something to do with that as well.....) So now I think, ok, yeah, maybe it WAS a good thing to do, write it out, ADMIT it to someone, let some people see a little bit behind the curtain (Oh Dorothy!) maybe it all is essential to my learning how to deal, to being able to process, to accept, and then, move on.......

And yes, I am/was guilty of arrogance, and the new-found humility will be good for us. And back to Maslow's hierarchy as well--that could be a blessing in disguise. I mean, no more mid-life crisis issues for me, at least for awhile. No more agonizing over self-actualization, what do I want to do to further fulfill my life, find meaning, express myself, leave my mark, give back and make a difference, debate and ponder philosophical, spiritual, even political issues, trying to answer age-old questions and solving cerebral problems. Just, back to basics. Probably good for me......

Sorry to be so inwardly focused here, just rambling on, writing down my thoughts as they spout.
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Red-- LOVED the pics of the kitties and the horse! I have always had kitties, but DH is allergic. When he met me, I had three, but promised him I wouldn't get anymore after the last one one went, at nearly 18. After we moved to the West Coast, could have one outside I know, but no one has "adopted" me yet, and I haven't run across any in need of a family yet (DH won't let me enter into a shelter--usually end up with something to bring home, and I certainly don't need another dog right now and the little kitties would be too easy to substitute.....I have been known to adopt TWO at a time, have done that more than once in my life so far.....)

My horse pics are from long ago and not on any computer, but I had Quarter horses, first a grey, then a palomino, Western, then English equitation, then jumping, ring and just beginning field, (eventing) then sold them to focus on my higher education long haul but really miss that time of my life......

And your advice is priceless. Not just the advice, per se, as the EMPATHY. As is everyone's. Thank God we all are pretty verbose here on this thread (verbose isn't the word for writings, is it? What is the word I'm looking for?.....)

schmalger--If you were here girl, we could motivate each other, and PUSH each other to step outside our comfort zone and work it!! I've not done the elliptical for many years, but I remember it was hard and I'm pretty sure I couldn't do 6.5 miles right now at all! And yes, it can really do a number on your legs! Do you go "backwards" occasionally? I remember trying to throw that in for 2-3 minutes once or twice, and it really affecting my legs the next day!! And yes, here's to the modern world and the wonderful IPod invention! Don't know how good I'd do without some motivating tunes to help push me through.....

cyndiM-- Your little pms were super sweet and so encouraging. What a wonderful overture you made to a new, anonymous on-line "friend"!! That's what makes this process of mental unloading so worth it.......

And you are doing so awesome, wtg! I obviously know (as probably most of us here) about the "eating cures all" aspects of my prior existence. This new-ish venture of on-line support has really helped keep me mindful of that unconscious attitude, and given me the oomph I needed to really try to change that once and for good!

Quix--wtg about climbing out of that "river", lol! You are back on the wagon, officially, so just hang on, we'll try not to let you fall off again! And thanks also for that insight into your past woes.....and you nailed it on the head. I AM scared, just was afraid to even admit that until I saw you put it into writing......

tex--you are well on your way. WTG on day 3 and the clutter/junk challenge is one I have done unofficially once before--I really want to get back to that one again. I think I will soon, it will help to unclutter my mind as I unclutter my house....

miriam--wow, that was quick! When you said you were going as soon as you got your passport current, you weren't kidding! I heard about bad weather in NY area the past 2-3 days--what a time to come, haha! Oh well, still exciting to be in the big city again and on vacation, I'm sure......

sunni--Excel, hmmm? Very detailed and organized--that surely will help you when you do see the results in black and white--it will seem more irrefutable and absolute........When I was using FitDay, I did enjoy seeing a long string of successful days and a graph of my weightloss struggle. I've got to get back to that.......


techAlum--See what happens when you don't check in for awhile?? Too much reading, haha! So glad you are pushing on through, though, and congrats on making it to Day 8! This is the time (with the added motivational help) that you will be successful to CONTINUE PAST your prior false starts, until you are so far down the line you can't even begin to think of giving it all up, even if you have a pause day or three....

ForeverLove-- Well, you said you couldn't wait to get to know everyone better, lol!! This is an awesome, small-enough-to-be-manageable intimate group that just keeps going, slogging along........Really a good motivation to count out days, report our progress and struggles, give and get feedback. For the weightloss, too!

Thanks all for helping me with my perspective, and my journey.....

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Good morning, all. It's looking to be a beautiful day here, though cold, no wind and blue skies, BUT I just mailed my riding teacher to cancel out. I always feel bad when I do that, but things are just a little too much for me at the moment and I have to be able to relax or my horse will freak again.
Out of the blue, some guy from a headhunter company called me yesterday saying he was looking and was I interested in talking, so I said yeah and will meet him this afternoon. If I had gone riding it would have been a rush to meet him, so I figured better to take it easier. It means I can wear nicer clothes too. I could even if I go riding but then it's such a pain to lug everything with me.
There are excuses but I am feeling kind of wired. It's so strange. Everyone thinks I am calm and dull but I am actually on pins and needles inside always. It's probably why I liked the dulling effect of the beer. I remember once when I got on a horse after having some beer at the club party, the feeling of NOT feeling nervous was amazing. And to think, some people must feel like that all the time.
OK, I am babbling because of my morning caffeine, which I have cut to one scoop regular, one scoop decaf, but it still gives me a jolt. Well, that's why I drink it.
I will hit the gym hard this morning to atone for not riding, then go in to work and I hope meet this guy. Of course, he could cancel, but...well, we have to plan till the circumstances change.
I admit to being on edge about what I am praying, hoping, could be a break for me, anything to get me out of the poisonous atmosphere of my current job. I have been begging for a viable alternative for months. I guess I shouldn't get my hopes up, but they are up.
As for challenges, I ate way too much yesterday again, and not great stuff. Then again, I wrote it all down and I could figure the calories if I want. I've gotten away from some of the more calorie-dense favorites, such as rice crackers. It has become a conscious thing now, to actively say no to them when I go to the store and not just vacuum them in like I had been.
By the way, this morning I was just barely able to get the button closed on those non-stretchy jeans. The zipper opening was gaping madly and I was sucking in DEEP but I could have done that before and still not have gotten them closed, so.....
Yesterday was just one thing after the other at work, the idiocy that has taken hold there, moved the paper back decades. The place is seriously going down the can fast and we editors hate to see it happening. I think everyone feels like drinking there and, heck, many of them do that during the best of times.

**************
tex -- That's quite impressive that you have been able to stay off the scale, seeing as addicted to weighing as you were. Once you start to try to lose weight, you always want to hurry the progress. When I try, I begin noticing how fat I am more and more and get disgusted and discouraged. It's not that I cared all along, obviously, that's how I got there, but I just ignored it. I suppose the trick would be to keep ignoring one's body while at the same time sticking to a good diet and exercise plan, but, well, that doesn't happen. We do want to see RESULTS immediately upon putting a little bit of effort into things, don't we? Kind of ridiculous, isn't it?

Tech -- You're like me with the writing. But it is important to keep writing, so good for you!
Keep up the good work!

mod -- I'm glad to see you in here and writing such a wonderful long post. Of course it was a good thing to come in here and tell us about what's going on with you. We may not have ever met in person, but that's the weird thing about the Net, you can actually get to know a person a lot better than if you had met. Meeting, you can just stand there and smile, but here you have to say something and I think because of that there is often more communication. Of course, you could come in and just remain superficial, but, ah, well, what's the point of that? Those people soon disappear anywhere, bored with others, bored with themselves no doubt. No, we're here for you. Of course, if you start making a habit of it, we might start nodding off....um, are you listening, Red?
I relate to your situation more than you probably realize because I didn't write about it before. But, I can feel now that you are probably going through much the same that I was earlier this year when, after doing my damnedest to do an excellent job at work, I was just ripped from the loop and neutralized. I couldn't believe it. I could have been sent for a loop myself, one that had me throwing myself in front of a train (a very common occurrence here) or turning mean or hiding under the blankets. Well, I did a little bit of the last one to be sure, but more so and more importantly, what I did was say, look, this is beyond me. I can't help what others choose to do, but what I can do is take an attitude of class. If you want to see me crawl, then you're going to be disappointed because I am much bigger than anything you can throw at me. I had to threaten legal action and show a lot of spine, but that was the easy part..easy after I got over the shock and, instead of walking around with an open-mouthed look of surprise on my face, started saying, to **** with this, you're not going to get me down. The hard part is now when they are doing the ostracism tactic, another extremely Japanese thing. The thing is, I don't identify with the group, never have. I am not compromised by standing alone. I am only unable to add to others to the extent I could were I part of a strong team. Anyhow, what I'm saying is that there is no shame in anything that is happening to you, so smile, turn your face to the sun, and with the sound of encouraging words from the stands (that's us ) do what you've always done, make the most of the cards you've been dealt and play your hand. Like someone said, you're blessed with the resources, mental and otherwise, to do a whole heck of a lot better than someone who would truly be lost following such a blow. You can do this, mod. And then, you can get out there and help someone else do it too. It's what it's all about.

Daily Exercise Day 11
Level 3
Exercise? Check!
Stats? 30 minutes on the elliptical – 5 miles
Mood? I am WHOOPED y’all, feeling like steamed dookie. That was gross, but whew! It took everything I had and more to get on that elliptical and then stay on it for a full 30 minutes. My legs are actually okay until I get on the machine, but then? Wow. Just wow. I had to fight disappointment at not going as far as I did the last two days. But I got over that pretty quickly, because just 12 short days ago? I was doing NOTHING. So I feel really good, I do.
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redballoon – Your cats are beautiful, and I love their names and the meanings behind them. I love names that mean something; yours are much deeper and more meaningful than mine, I'm afraid. At the risk of revealing too much of myself (I live in constant fear that I will be discovered, ), I will reveal the names of mine. First, there is Genghis Hans – he’s a short-haired orange tabby. We got him from a pet shelter, and his name was already Hans. We didn’t care for it much, but he wasn’t a kitten and we were afraid of traumatizing him by completely changing his name. Well, turns out he likes to play and play ROUGH. So DH named him Genghis, because the little man (ha) is like a warrior. He plays harder than some dogs I’ve seen, and he just won’t quit. But we kept Hans, too, because turns out the cat is a little bipolar. In one minute, he’s Genghis, and the next? He’s tail-sucking Hans. And I’m not kidding about the tail sucking. He’s such a weirdo, and he’s my favorite. Go figure. Then there’s Olga Grozny. She was a feral cat – she’s kind long-haired and kind of charcoal colored. A friend of mine found her hanging out around a dumpster at school. We took her in, and named her Olga Grozny. Grozny, very loosely translated, means “the dread” in Russian. When she first came in, she bullied the heck out of our poor little warrior Genghis. Haha. And finally, there is Oscar the Grouch. Oscar is actually female – she’s black/white/gray/brown – a bit of everything. She’s another feral who we discovered had been living under our house. She’s a few years old, a bit older than the others I think, and boy is she ornery. She can be sweet when she wants to, but she is so incredibly grouchy. If you don’t touch her just right, she growls and hisses at you. Overall, she’s really sweet, but she definitely earned Oscar the Grouch (which I’m sure you know comes from Sesame Street). We get a lot of weird comments at the vet, “Oscar is a female?!?” Okay, enough about the cats! WTG on your challenges. You are rocking! I’m like you, too. I gravitate toward harder things for working out right now. (I love Hendrix, btw, but he can be a bit slow for working out.) Stuff that I normally don’t listen to, like Metallica, is great for getting my energy up. And I have a lot of 80s stuff – Billy Idol, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Motley Crue, etc. There’s Green Day, 3 Doors Down, you get the idea. If I weren’t exercising, I’d have Pink Floyd, Bob Dylan, and other things of that nature on there. But it’s just TOO slow to exercise by! Seriously, though. KEEP IT UP! You are doing a phenomenal job at your challenges!! On another note, I’m so sorry to hear about your troubles at work. There’s just about nothing more stressful than having to go to work, day in and day out, and be miserable the whole time you’re there. I’ll say a prayer for you about the meeting with the headhunter. Good luck, and try to relax and let the real you shine through. You don’t need beer to be awesome – we’ve all seen that here plain enough every single day.

texscrapper – Congrats on getting back on track! I knew you could do it! Great job on day 3. Keep up the great work – and way to go on clearing your home of clutter. DH and I have been on a cleaning frenzy this week. The house turns into total chaos during the semester, and it’s always such a pain getting everything back in order – only to do it all over again.

TechAlum – WTG on day 8! You’re over 1/3 of the way there now. Keep it up! 6 days in a row is impressive. And hey, you’re on a Level 3, too. So you knew you were liable to have to take some pauses. Don’t feel bad about it! After all, you got right back on track! And I don’t blame you for starting over on the eating/recording challenge. Sometimes I imagine it would be easier to start fresh than to dwell too long on very human mistakes that we all will and do make. You can beat this!

modcat44 – I love inward-focused, and I mean that in the best possible way. I actually find it quite fun and enlightening to really self-analyze, and I mean digging deep the way you are right now. We can learn so much about ourselves and even realize how much we still have to grow, and I love that. Sometimes I think the world would be a much better place if more people were more introspective, not necessarily as introverted as I am, but some self-analysis seems to lead to growth and greater respect for other people as well. Now I’m rambling. I’m so glad to know that you’ve felt better today, and I hope and pray that each and every day will bring renewed and strengthened relief and resolve. You can get through this. You will get through this. And you will be an even stronger person coming out on the other side. About the elliptical – I agree about it being hard. Right now, each day is harder than the one before. I'm hoping I'll kind of break through that soon. We'll see. But I’m really not joking about how pathetic I am when I try to run/jog. It’s actually a sight people would probably pay, and pay well, to see. I can’t wait until I can run/jog without feeling every single ounce of fat feel as if it’s trying to fly off of my body and into the great beyond…only to come crashing back down with such force you’d think it was trying to tunnel to China. Ugh!

Well, I got Jillian's 30 Day Shred in today. I haven't looked at it yet, and frankly it intimidates the **** out of me. In the next day or so, I'll give it a shot. If it goes well, I'll count it as that day's exercise and keep going from there. If not, it's back to the elliptical, at least for the remainder of this challenge. And I have to go to my father's this weekend. He's been begging me for nearly two years now - which is about how long he's been in his new house - and I've been putting it off that whole time. We haven't always been close - in fact, I dealt with a very real hatred of him for most of my life. But now, I have to give him credit. He's trying really hard, as best he can, and I'm still learning to just accept that he is the way he is. It's not about me, and he's never going to change. I have mostly stopped, by now, wishing for anything better. And I'm trying really hard to just love him the way he is and forget the past. Wish me luck. I may have to take a pause on Saturday because of that. But I'm going to TRY to exercise that morning before we head out - it's only about a 2 hour trip. And then I can exercise Sunday night when we get back. Anyway. I'm rambling again. Good night everyone - and good morning/good day to those of you on the other side of the world (here's looking at you, redballon)!

Hi all -
Just a pitstop here
Lots of action going on this little thread - eh?

I'm here in NY - so much fun! So tired though! LOL
Ive bailed out on the recording challenge - as I don't have access to a computer all the time - and too darn laz to sit a write.. And to jetlaged
But doing well on the POSITIVE challenge.

Trying to relax here - the's the point of the trip - leaving behind DH & 6 kids, but jetlag makes it darn difficult.

Just wanted to touch base - I'll get back to formal communications whn I am back - but i still wanted to pop in and say hi