I received this over the weekend and thought I would pass on for a Monday chuckle...
Just call me Fluffy Pizzatush!
Sometimes when you have a stressful day or week, you need some silliness to break up the day. Here is your dose... Follow the instructions to find your new name. The following in an excerpt from a children's book, "Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants", by Dave Pilkey: The evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names...Use the third letter of your first name to determine your New first name:
a=poopsie
b=lumpy
c=buttercup
d=gidget
e=crusty
f=greasy
g=fluffy
h=cheeseball
i=chim-chim
j=stinky
k=flunky
l=booger
m=pinky
n=zippy
o=goober
p=doofus
q=slimy
r=loopy
s=snotty
t=tulefel
u=dorkey
v=squeezit
w=oprah
x=skipper
y=dinky
z=zsa=zsa.
Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your New last name:
a = diaper
b = toilet
c = giggle
d = burger
e = girdle
f = barf
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = cootie
j = monkey
k = poty
l = liver
m = banana
n = rhino
o = bubble
p = hamster
q = toad
r = gizzard
s = pizza
t = gerbil
u = chicken
v = pickle
w = chuckle
x = tofu
y = gorilla
z = stinker
Use the fourth letter of your last name to determine the second half of your New last name:
a = head
b = mouth
c = face
d = nose
e = tush
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = butt
l = brain
m = tushie
n = chunks
o = hiney
p = biscuits
q = toes
r = buns
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = kisser
w = squirt
x = humperdinc
y = brains
z = juice
Thus, for example, George W. Bush's new name is Gober Chickenshorts. Bill Clinton's name is Booger Liverchunks. Now when you FORWARD THIS... use your new name as the subject. And remember that children laugh an average of 146 times a day, adults laugh an average of 4 times a day. Put more laughter in your life!!!
I really didn't plan to post today because I'm once again having a terrible case of "poor, poor me". But after browsing I realize I'm not the only one having trouble. I had a terrible week-end and with the stress ......guess what I did? Of course, I ate. You guys know me well!!! Now on Monday morning I am having "eaters remorse". Why can't I conquer that? I sometimes wonder if I don't have a fear of losing weight. Anyone else have that fear?
Christy-----I am so sorry for your lost, it sure makes my problems look silly. I pray that you can find the peace that your mother would want you to have. One day at a time is the only solution. Good luck to you.
Sharon------I would like to tell you to just not eat at those buffets but I can't ask you to do something that I can't do. Good luck and have a fun time and you can work on weight when you get home.
CJ------I've fallen and I can't get up again. I'm working on it but I need a pep talk from you.
I'm not supposed to be working today but it is Family Read Night at my school so off I go to set up. Everyone be better than I have been!! Carolyn
This is no fair!!! My name is Poopsie Diaper Pants!?!?!? Now that's just too graphic!!! Yuck. Can I change my name?
Anyway, yesterday, I didn't exercise. I didn't drink nearly enough water. I didn't eat right. I was bad bad bad bad bad! And I just couldn't bring myself to care. Why? Don't know. I fell deeply into a big old funk and just sat there like a big fat lump feeling sorry for myself because "I'm so fat and I can't eat what I want and other people can eat anything and stay thin so why can't I and it's not fair waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!"
Now I'm going to have to pay the price. There ain't no way I can "save" this week. I have to weigh in on Friday morning so I have one less day to work on salvaging my pride and self-respect and there's no way this weigh-in is going to be a good one. But I guess I'm through whining for the moment. Who knows how I'll feel by tonight. I think I really really need spring to come so I can "unfunk" myself and get outside into the garden or something. The house/kitchen/patio door project(s) at home are going so much more slowly than I expected and it's really starting to get to me. I'm tired of living in all this clutter and dust.
Did I say I was done whining? Oops. Sorry. I'll stop now. Maybe if the sun comes out today, it'll get a little better?
Sorry to have vented on you all. I'll post again when I'm feeling more civil and you won't have to listen to me like this.
Jo - Cheer up. Sooo, you had a bad day yesterday. Today is a brand new day and you can get back OP today. You are not fat. Look at where you have come from - lost over 40 pounds and you only have another 14 or 15 to lose. That's an accomplishment and you should be darn proud of it. I know what you mean about the funks. I have been feeling like that for the past month and having trouble staying OP. For me, I think it is psychological - I think that I am only a few pounds from my personal goal, so I can take a few extra privileges with my eating. The privileges that I have taken are causing me to gain weight. You and I both need to get over this hump and get back with the program again. I know we can do this. Take care.
Thanks for the words of wisdom. I know you're right and today's a new day and all but I'm having such motivation problems lately. You too, huh? Must be a really bad case of the winter blahs. I'm hoping the warmer weather coming (WHEN!?!?!) will change my attitude.
I think you're right about it being, in part, because we're getting close to goals. All the time, I get comments about how good I look and how much weight I've lost, etc. I mean, it's always nice to hear but it tends to make me a bit over-confident or something.
Ah well, I'm not going to try to philosophize ... or spell! I'll just keep coming here for support and virtual kicks you-know-where. And I'll keep sending you good vibes if you promise to send them to me too!
Jo - I think you are right. I have people tell me all the time how good I look and that I don't need to lose any more weight. Well, the truth is, I really don't NEED to lose any more weight, but I WANT to lose another 10 - 11 pounds to make sure that I have some leeway with my weight. At the very worst, I will be happy to maintain this weight for a while, then when the complements die down and I am not so cocky, I will try to get the rest off. I just don't plan to beat myself up over it.
I guess I should go, I need to get home from work - these 12 hour days are getting to be a habit. Talk to you tomorrow.
I just read this on the eDiets site and thought I would share with you:
Imagine losing that extra 5 to 10 pounds just by adding a serving of whole grain to each meal or a crispy garden salad to your lunch and dinner.
Dieting should be so simple, you say. Well, it is, according to renowned nutritionist Katherine Tallmadge whose best-selling book Diet Simple (Lifeline Press) offers 154 "tricks, substitutions, habits and inspirations" to help you lose weight and keep it off for good!
You won’t find any temporary solutions or quick fixes here. The tried-and-true calorie-cutting techniques are lifestyle changes Tallmadge collected during her more than 20 years in private practice.
Tallmadge says she learned what works while successfully battling her own diet demons and from working with countless clients desperate for the peace of mind that comes from lasting weight loss. Along the way, she also observed the many factors and mistakes that cause dieters to quit the fight... time and time again.
One of the biggest mistakes: trying to become a model dieter. Tallmadge says these are the individuals who set themselves up for failure.
"Trying to do anything perfectly is usually doomed to fail -- this includes dieting," she tells eDiets from her Washington D.C. office. “We’re only human and humans aren’t perfect.
"If someone has a history of following strict diets for so long, it’s hard for them to know what the middle ground is. They don’t think, 'How much splurging can I get away with?' or ‘How much chocolate can I eat a week or a day?' Instead, they think, 'Oops, I had chocolate. Now I’m going to give up and throw in the towel!'"
Her biggest challenge is to help clients break through the barriers that have long held them back from success. She says in order to lose the weight a person first has to gain the right mindset. That means dropping the "all or nothing" mentality that dooms far too many dieters.
Tallmadge cringes when she hears a client moan, "I cheated!" or "I was bad!" It's negative notions like these that cause people to feel bad about themselves, she says. Her solution: start changing your vocabulary to take the judgmental words and phrases out of the weight loss equation.
"You have to start being good to yourself," she says. "You have to be practical and understanding. You need to know your strengths and weaknesses. These are all things that are necessary for you to be successful. People don’t give themselves enough kindness."
Sooooo, if you are in a funk, remember, we are not all perfect. We are not all model dieters. But, we are all committed to eating differently, making better choices, becoming healthy and learning what our individual bodies can tolerate. Some things work and some don't. Just be kind to yourself when you make mistakes.
Last edited by sweet tooth; 03-14-2002 at 10:45 AM.
This is "Tuleful Liverbuns" checking in. How funny!
Jo & Peggy, I enjoyed reading the dialog between the two of you over the last few posts. I'll try to remember that a mistake here and there does not doom me to failure forever, and I'll get up, brush myself off, and start again! Unlike the two of you, I have a long way to go.
With this new inspiration, I hope that next week I have some good results to report. My goal is to lose two lbs. this week.
Sharon, I hope you have a wonderful trip to Los Angeles.
Hello, Loopy Liver Chunks here. That's gross sounding. I too, have enjoyed Jo and Peggy's conversation. Why is it we always have to be reminded that the world doesn't end if you mess up? I have been on that same boat for the last few weeks. I think I've lost the same 2 lbs. six times!
This week hasn't been any better. Tomorrow night I am having the class I teach over for a social. There will be tons of food. That's probably my hardest trials. When the food comes in the front door my will power goes out the back.
Starting Sunday I promise I will be better. I am leaving for Fla. in a week and although I look better than last year, I wanted to be smaller. Isn't that a surprise? Stop laughting!
Sharon----I've been thinking about your trip, hope it hasn't been to bad on your diet.
CJ-----I hope you are better. I e-mailed you but haven't heard anything.
Everyone try to have a great week-end. Weather been lovely here but now that I'm off we are expecting rain. Never fails.
Stay strong!!!! Carolyn
OK - I'm back! and this time I am going to stay! Sorry for the "dissappearing act" but it's hard to explain ... I just did not wish to talk about weight, etc etc etc. But I really have missed you guys so here I am. I just "lost" it for a while, sorta, about my weight. Came to a stand still, gained - don't understand why??, and just didn't want to talk about it! I'm still going to WW (barely) am still a couple lbs up and can't get rid of them (am a really sloooooow loser to begin with so this is really getting me down) and am believe it or not, still journaling in my book (but not online or on here, as you I am sure have noticed). So, I am back, and I will get up the last updates that I have, and you all can correct my figures, ok?
I've been really really busy lately also - hubby and I celebrated 19 yrs yesterday! Went out and had a really nice quiet dinner together.
Looks like it's been a little quiet in here lately - where are ya all?
I'll check back later ... and again, I am sorry for not posting with you for a while. I have missed you guys.
CJ - So good to have you back. I, for one, have really missed your input on this list. It has been empty without you. Glad to know that you are back on track - the weight WILL come off. It is hard for slow losers and requires a lot of discipline. For you to even stay at the weight that you have been hovering at has required discipline and patience. I admire you for sticking with it. I know that you will eventually succeed. Luv ya'.
Weeellll, for me this has been a very stressful time. Yesterday was the last dental appointment in a series for me. I have had a chronic tooth ache for about 1 1/2 months now and been taking tylenol every few hours to keep it under control. Yesterday, I finally got a crown put on the broken tooth, but it will still take a while for the nerve to heal....hence more pain killers.
After the dental appointment yesterday we had to take the dear old cat in to be put down. It was so sad to see him deteriorate over the past few weeks, but even harder to have to say good-bye. We got him as a stray 20 years ago and the vet told us at the time that he was about 7 or 8. At 27, I guess he deserves to be let go.
Yesterday was not a good eating day, either. Too many points, but I will live with that. Today is a new day and I'm back on track. Hoping to lose a few more pounds before the Easter break.
How is everyone? It's been so quiet here and I miss chatting to everyone. Come back soon. I miss you.
Um, hello? (Tapping microphone.) Is this thing on? Can anybody hear me? Uh, my name is Jo and I have a weight problem.
Hi you guys. Haven’t been here in a week or so. But boy, it’s been quiet, I see! Well, is it time for Jo to come in with her whining again? Or is that what scared everyone away in the first place? OK, I won’t whine. I’ll just tell you a little story.
There was this girl, see. We’ll call her … Jo. She fell off the wagon. Heck, she fell off the wagon and then it rolled over her. And then it stopped, backed up and rolled over her again. Squashed her into the mud, it did. She was down and she was out! That’s it. And she will swear to you that she heard that wagon laughing its wheels off!
Jo just couldn’t take it any more. She just couldn’t break the slump she was in, just couldn’t get out of the funk and get back into that old weight loss game. She knew she was pretty close to hitting rock bottom when she actually … oh this is embarrassing … left the house on Friday morning PRETENDING to head to weigh-in, went to the Burger King in the next town instead (couldn’t risk running into anyone she knew), pigged out on breakfast sandwiches (yes, sandwichES – plural) and hash browns and then went home and lied to her very sweet and supportive boyfriend about where she’d been and how she’d done.
Was that rock bottom? Nope. There’s more. The weekend was actually a blur of junk food and self-pity. Then came the actual moment of hitting bottom. You could probably all hear the THUD where you were when she hit. She was at her desk and had accepted from a coworker one, just one, peanut butter sandwich cracker. She “unscrewed” it and ate half. Then as she went to eat the other half (the side with all the peanut butter on it), she dropped it. Horrors! It rolled to the farthest dark corner under her desk and landed, you guessed it, peanut butter side down.
Picture fat old Jo crawling around on the floor of her office, retrieving a half eaten peanut butter cracker and then sitting there trying to pick off the dirt and carpet lint and God knows what else may have been stuck to it so that she could EAT IT!! She stopped and took a good long look at herself. And what she saw disgusted and shamed her.
The cracker went into the garbage can and Jo …. OK, we all know who Jo is here … and I crept off to the ladies room to cry a little and pull myself together. I’m so embarrassed and ashamed. I can’t believe I was really GOING TO EAT that disgusting dirty thing. What have I become??????
There it is. My confession and my shame typed out for all of you guys. And only you guys. Three things that I am thankful for: 1. Having you guys to confess to. 2. No one saw my horrible display that day. 3. I AM BACK!!!
That was Monday. It’s now Thursday. I’ve been so good since that incident. I’m hoping it was the kick in the pants I needed. I’ve been counting points and drinking water. I’ve been on my treadmill twice a day and walked to a meeting at the VFW Tuesday night. (And drank only Diet Coke the entire time.) I’ve been trying to find things to keep me busy and out of trouble at home in the evenings when it gets really tough. Last night it was half an hour on the treadmill, half an hour in a hot bubbly tub and too many hours writing and rewriting a report for work that should have been done weeks ago. (Whoops.)
My advice to you is to invest in sugar free gum because it’s in my mouth almost constantly these days. Yesterday was the first day of Spring and, although you wouldn’t know it by the weather around here (cold, gray, rain/sleet, yucky in general) I’m going make a new start along with the seasons. I will go to my weigh-in on Saturday morning and take my lumps (pardon the pun) and confess to all those people as well. Well, not the peanut butter cracker incident. Too terrible to say out loud. But I’ll cover up the wagon wheel tracks across my body and stand up on the scale and face it.
That’s all. That’s my story. Hope it wasn’t too terribly whiny or “me me me” or boring or disgraceful. I’ve been good for three days. I’m going to make it three weeks. Then three months. And from there, who knows where I can go. I won’t even pretend that I’ll never screw up again (although I can’t even LOOK at peanut butter crackers) but I’m going to try my best. That’s all I can do.
Hope to hear from ALL OF YOU soon???
Much love to you.
Jo.
Peggy, I'm back just to tell you how sorry I am about your loss. I know first hand how hard it is to make that decision. And maybe it doesn't feel like it, but it was definitely the right one. I, for one, believe that animals go to Heaven too.
And 27 years!?!?! Wow! The stories he must have to tell! Someday you and he will be reuinited. In the mean time, I will ask my dearly departed cat-lover grandmother to watch over him as she is for my sweet 16 year-old cat who joined her a couple of years ago.
Jo - It's great to hear from you. I have been thinking about you all week and worrying that something had happened to you. I really rely on getting in to work every morning and reading all your funny stories. They have been missing this week and I have missed you.
Don't have any regrets or guilt or shame over falling off the wagon. Celebrate the enjoyment you had for a few days and acknowledge that it is a blip that will slow you down, but you are ready and able to accept that now. You are back, and that is what's important today. You really do need to change that mental picture of yourself. When I read your weight loss stats, you are anything by 'fat old Jo.' You are skinny little Jo who wants to take off another few pounds to be at the personal weight that she wants to be at. You can do it, I know. You have already come a long way and have just short distance left. Hang in there. Be patient.
I'll be waiting to hear the report that you have after weigh-in on Sat. I know it probably won't be pretty, but it's a new starting point and you can go from there. You may even surprise yourself since you have been so good with eating and exercise this week. Sending you {{{{weigh-in vibes}}}} for Saturday. Keep on having a good week. Talk later.
Not weight related!
And I just couldn't bring myself to care. Why? Don't know. I fell deeply into a big old funk and just sat there like a big fat lump 
feeling sorry for myself because "I'm so fat and I can't eat what I want and other people can eat anything and stay thin so why can't I and it's not fair waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!" 
I think I really really need spring to come so I can "unfunk" myself and get outside into the garden or something. The house/kitchen/patio door project(s) at home are going so much more slowly than I expected and it's really starting to get to me. I'm tired of living in all this clutter and dust.
)
Must be a really bad case of the winter blahs. I'm hoping the warmer weather coming (WHEN!?!?!) will change my attitude.
I'll just keep coming here for support and virtual kicks you-know-where. And I'll keep sending you good vibes if you promise to send them to me too!
