Marie - My heart hurts for you. Guys can be such jerks! My H (note I left of the D too! ) didn't remember till I reminded him and begrudgingly went out at 7pm the night before to get a card which he just brought in in his hand and said - well, what's inside is a surprise (it was just a card - not a gift certificate or something). I'm like you, I would love to have a very special and romantic day like they have in the TV ads - but maybe that's just not real life for most of us. I know my DH and DS love me, but I sure wish they were more demonstrative. Sometimes I feel like I'm just a cook and housekeeper - so I know exactly where you're coming from. These sort of things set me off on an eating binge too - kind of self-nurturing (but also self-destructive at the same time). Try and get back on track asap or you'll probably feel even worse and try to remember that most guys have the "thoughtfulness" gene missing and they really do care in their own pathetic way. Personally, I get through the hurt by thinking of the good attributes of my guys and also the close feelings I have with my friends (where I get most of my hugs). Have you ever sat down and explained how important certain dates and milestones are to you? I don't know if that would make a difference, but it may be worth a try - guys seem to need things spelled out for them. Anyway, from me to you, a belated HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!! You are a great mom and a terrific person!

Carol, I hope you're feeling better. I'm so sorry that the guys in your family didn't take a moment to honor how much you do for them, and for everyone else you come into contact with. I was in the card store late Sunday afternoon, looking for birthday cards, and was astonished to see at least a dozen men in there, picking over the last of the Mother's Day cards. When you're not so mad, try to tell them how good it makes you feel when they make some small special effort, on a day when millions of people are showing the moms in their family some extra love.

Penny, I would fuss about the damage these people left behind! Even if you don't get them to do anything about it, they'd have to listen to me give them them what-for.

Maire, I only ride the recumbent bike. The uprights are too uncomfortable, unless I bring a pillow. I've had physical therapists be very specific about how far back the seat should be, and how I should sit, and stretch afterwards. No problems with my back, but I won't ride the bike for long periods two days in a row. I did an hour today . I'm becoming a regular Lance Armstrong!

judy

Marie from one mom to another Happy Mothers Day. I hear the same thing from my hubby your not my mom. But at least he asked I guess thats something and he did make coffee. The kids made up for the dad I guess. I work in my 86 year olds mothers gardens and yard for the day along with all my siblings and my children whom are local. Its something we started about 15 years ago. Mom loves it and we all get together and bring dinner over. I guess I would be the one to make a stink of some sort to let them know it upset me. My not buying a gift back might fix them on the other hand maybe not. Guess letting them know would be best men come from a different planet. Years ago in counseling when my hubby first got ill and I had a few issue going on the counselor said men are so different in their line of thinking if I learned nothing else a few hundred bucks later it was those words. But no excuses thats just wrong. So did they figure it out later on that day? Hang in there and no your not alone.

Well I decided to take a few hrs off on wed as the weather is going to be nice the best day of the week they say. So I will be doing some gardening and I am stopping to buy a new hanging plant too and a few annuals. I have to take the gs to pick up mom and dad at the airport my job is almost completed how time fiys by quickly where does it go. Can't wait to see their pictures the little guy has started to talk already saying ma ma. How cool. Its nice to hear all the special things going on. I
did pretty good with my choices today. I had a breakfast sandwich with a multi grain bagel only ate the top of the bagel and discarded the bottom part saving a few cals. Having the multi isn't may favorite but the better choice to make. Then for lunch I had a greek salad and a spinach thing. Then for dinner had a few meatballs and sauce. Had a small piece of choc. cake for the gd 8th birthday. Well hope everyone is doing well. I am trying to make some healthy changes. Talk to you all soon.

Hi all,

Today is a better day. Both asked how my day was yesterday was and I told them the truth. I told them how they had been mean and it hurt me. Son2 (still majorly missing the D) stayed in his room the rest of the night and hasn't said a word (yes I saw him briefly this evening). DH (note the D is back) stewed for a couple hours then apologized (with meaning). We talked for a while as exactly Carol said. My former self would have silent treated them and then it would have blown over but I made myself talk to him and ask why he did it. I'd thought maybe it was because of Kai but he assured me he didn't think about it then thought it was too late. He then said he'd learned better late than never. Anyway, we're better but son2 is still a self centered brat. I told DH I want him to move out, that I can't take 4 more years of him living here when he's so involved with himself and NEVER considers others (he forgot his father's birthday 2 years in a row, father's day, my birthday). I don't know how that will be resolved but I want him to move out. He's frustrating and it's hard on the emotions. I am still bipolar regardless how good I'm doing and sometimes I have to really fight with my brain to stay level. He doesn't help. Anyway, we'll see. Heand I have always had a rocky relationship.

So, I thank you all for your kindness and thoughts. You all are such a bright spot in my day.

Carol, I'm sorry your time with dgs is coming to a close. They're the most wonderful part of being a mother. I LOVE being a grandmother. BTW, DS1 and almost DIL were great on Mother's Day and I got to talk to DGS on the phone. And Carol, it was smart to enjoy the weather. Spring can be fickle but it's still my favorite time of the year.

Penny, I love the idea that the thoughtfulness gene is missing. That does explain a lot! DS1 is the one that has DS2's portion. He believes in presents and recognizing moments.

Judy, I'm thinking of Lance with long braided hair. It's a funny image. You go chickie on that bike!

Work was better today. I'm starting to see a little lull in the many storms due to hit our department the next few months.

Food was mediocre. Still off track. Exercise was good. Doggies took me out this morning. Kai isn't a straight walker - she likes dancing all over the place and only tripped me a couple times.

Well, time for dinner. Talk to you all tomorrow. Again, thanks for all the hugs and support. This is the best thread on 3FC.
Marie

Marie and Carol, I see that I mixed up your names in my previous post--sorry!

Marie, I'm glad that you're feeling a little better. Maybe your dear-once-more hubby can take the sons in hand, or at least they can have a pact to remind each other about no-brainers like b-days and Mother's Day. You have every right to be furious, but don't let it eat away at you. I know what I do when I'm stewing away in a snit--I eat!

It's late and I'm sleepy, so I'll just say that I'm hanging in there, trying not to let work stress get to me. I had to give someone the pink slip today. I hated to have to do it, she's a nice young lady who deserves a good situation. I hope that she can find a position soon that she's better suited for. A few years ago, I would have spent the evening in a bar, drinking and smoking to distract myself. Tonight, I came home, made a salad, and had a strawberry smoothie. Clearly the healthier option...but somehow not as satisfying as a generous pour of Jack Daniels on the rocks

judy

Marie I am sure you feel loads better just letting them know how you felt. Next time if nothing else the hubby will get the drift to do a little something. I don't really care about the gifts just acknowledge the day with a call breakfast for me something. Like I tell the hubby I am not your mom but I am the mom of your 3 lovely kids I think I did a good job with that role. So thats that and I am glad your feeling better time to move forward and look towards the next celebration.
I am so glad I have part of my day off. This is my 2nd meeting of the week. My supervisor is taking off the next 2 days for a little break before the director leaves smart move for her I think. Who knows who we will get and I am sure no matter what it will be different. As a dept. we will be okay and know our jobs. A couple of girls are interviewing elsewhere oh well what can you do that will mean a new supervisor and director with their move. I am just going to relax in the world of gardening today. I slept better last night I think the cup of tea before bed really helped and will try it again tonight. Yes my grandma duties are done until saturday my birthday girl whom turned 8 is coming for some grandparent lovin this saturday. We are planning to go to dinner and make some crafts maybe her own designed necklace etc. she is very art like. Gotta go get the little guy movin.

Carol, you are so blessed to have most of your grandchildren so near. I'd love that. I really do miss DGS a bunch. I'll see him a bit in the next 2 weeks. On sunday or Monday, I'm driving down to Reno to go to a concert with my almost DIL (from DS1 for mother's day). DIL and I both like Carrie Underwood so it was a cool gift. I have to be back on Tuesday afternoon for an inservice. Then we're driving back down on friday night. DS1 and DH are flying to Indianapolis for the indy 500. Almost DIL, DGS, Kai and I are going to spend 5 days being bums. Yes, the pup is going on vacation with me. So I'll be able to be with DGS a bit.

Judy, the strawberry smoothie had to taste better than the Jack Daniels. I love strawberry smoothies, but I hate the taste of alcohol so perhaps I'm not objective. Congrats on the good reaction to having to do something nasty. I've always hated discharging an employee. I don't think most know that you feel like crap afterwards.

Food is okay so far and exercise was the doggie walk. I just chatted (email style) with DS2 and told him all that has happened since we talked on Sunday. He said that he figured his father's ignoring the day was honest but his brother's was just because he has his head up his (you know where and I can't type it here but it made me smile). He also said he'd given up letting his rudeness get to him. DS2 has burned that bridge but DS1 said that someday he might grow up and things will change but he wasn't going to hold his breath. It was an interesting email.

OK, I really should work. I don't want to but work keeps distracting me and it's taken an hour to write the post.
Marie

Judy - It must have been tough having to give that girl her pink slip. You handled the stress well though with your salad and smoothie instead of a slug of Jack Daniels! I hope your stress levels go down soon.

Carol - I hope you had a nice relaxing time gardening. It always helps me to unwind. I like a cup of chamomile tea before bedtime - I always seem to sleep better when I do.

Marie - I'm glad you're feeling a bit better today. It probably helped clear the air by letting your guys know how you felt. Sometimes keeping our emotions bottled up can be very damaging. I tend to be non-confrontational too - sometimes a good thing, and other times I wish I had the guts to speak up. I kind of envy people who say exactly what they think in every situation. I guess I learned early on when I was a kid that confrontation brought a heap of trouble! It's nice that your DS2 is so understanding and I'm sure his words lifted your spirits a lot.

Food has been ok today and I did a ton of yard work, probably burning off lots of calories. The workers came to finish the clean up and they'll be here again tomorrow. Finally, things are starting to take shape and we can get the landscaping finished. My DH (who is even less confrontational than I am in some regards) didn't want to tell the workers what to do - and there were a few problem areas. So I told them what we expected to be done. I was quite proud of myself for speaking up! We're expecting temps in the 90's for the next couple of days. Straight from winter to summer!

Girls I love my gardens but they are some work for sure but I figured the calories burned had to be pretty good. I am not done yet and hubby turned the wrong way yesterday and hardly could move almost couldn't get in the house scary I tell yah. I called the doctor for some celbrex which seems to help him and pumped one in. He is still sore but finally could manage to get in the house etc. I tell yah I can see some of the future stuff and its not pretty I feel so bad for him. But I just hope my broad shoulders can hold up. My daughter and SIL came home the little guy said its the best day of my life so far. How cute its a 30 min ride home him and mom never stopped chatting in the back seat how cute. The next trip as the promised is to Disney and he hasn't forgotten that either hah hah. Well just finished a half of grapefruit and am off to have some poached eggs for breakfast out with a friend before work. SO gotta go I will catch up later Carrie U. I gave my friends daughter my free tickets last year and she loved it. So Marie enjoy enjoy!

Hi all, things at work have a lull and I'm pulling a Carol and taking the afternoon off. It's Kodiak's b-day and I'm going to get a couple cupcakes and the 3 pups and I are going to have an afternoon tea party to celebrate. A co-work wants pictures, but the way doggies devour things, I think the cakes will be gone before I can snap a picture. I will try though.

We did a b-day doggie walk this morning. I'm still over track. i'm pretty sure the cart rolled over me and then backed up just for the fun of it. I was telling my friend that it was so bad, that I was sipping my iced mocha on the way to work and there was at least half left. But here I was trying to figure out how to get another one. I guess I solved that one by going home in 45 minutes - I make 91 cal mochas and I'll probably have one at the tea party.

Carol, sounds like your grandson is a bright little boy. And that he's going to see Mickey on the next vacation is great.

Penny, it's getting warm out. I'm spending the afternoon out in it today. I'm going to vacuum the pool if I'm in the mood. It's something I like to do so I probably will. Judy, I promise to put on more sunscreen - I did put on face sunscreen this morning and have since I promised about a month ago.

Well, I'll chat with you all tomorrow.
Marie

Ughhh, not have a good series of days. Everything mechanical (laundry, computer, etc.) is harder than it needs to be, I seem to be cussing and/or apologizing a lot. My soon-to-be-former assistant is keeping a stiff upper lip, but everyone at the office is a little sad. Overall I'm feeling overwhelmed and not very good at my job--and slightly queasy, from inhaling the jellybeans I found in my bag of conference handouts from last week. Oh, well, maybe I can make up for this with an extra-long workout tonight. I've been eating too much in the evenings, too. Gotta take proactive steps to nip that in the bud.

Happy Birthday, Kody Years ago I lived near one of those pet bakeries--goodies made for animals, not of animals--and I laughed whenever I saw a motely crew of bunch of doggies in there having a b-day party.

Carol, your grandson is a sweetie! I love kids the most when they are old enough to express powerful feelings but still little enough not to be self-conscious about them, before they start having filters and don't want to sound like "babies" anymore.

Penny, I'm glad that you're sticking up for yourself with the contractors. I'm sure you've laid out a lot of money for these improvements, and you've paid for things to be done the right way.

Eating on program today (except for the jellybeans). I did laundry early this morning, so no time for a workout, but I'll lift weights this evening. I rode the ebike for 40 minutes last night. What I really need is to turn off the television and meditate before going to bed. I hate being so scattered and unfocused...

judy

Hi ladies.

I'm glad that everyone seems to be on track.

I have unfortunately lost my wagon

I have to go and find it.

Marie glad you pulled a me its always needed we don't do it often enough. Sometimes for me its just catching up on gardening or house stuff but still nice to have the time to get it done. I am quite low on vac. time so I use P OR S. That I have. My hubby is still not to good with his back problem but wants to go out for dinner tonight I am encouraging him to wait till saturday. I am ordering out for lunch with the girls today and will at least split a sandwich. I started my day with a dk pumpernickle bagel with a splash of butter and blk coffee. Not to bad. I need to get some oatmeal again. I think the doggies must of loved you being home some extra time. When is your C.U. show?
Oh forgot to mention we are losing another girl. She is going for more money to BlueCross Excellus to be an outreach worker. I guess our job is tough on her brain to shut down the oh I can't solve everything and what about? At night when she goes home its all she thinks about I have been there and can relate. But I still do it because its rewarding with the accomplishments too. Its not for everyone and isn't so easy as people think sometimes. Oh well another one bites the dust. On the other note the one who used to cause so much trouble that left still has some people she serves with our services and is still up to her old tricks but not with me. I think she learned I fight back and not going to let her get to me ever again so she has picked new victims. So sad for someone to just be so awful with these issues when our lives in this world are tough enough. She needs some help!!! My stress level got to me and I ate 6 thin mint cookies last night! HUH! After having a pretty good day no exercise but still was input good.
Judy I am with you lets get ourselves moving in the right direction pick up those knitting needles and your hands will be busy and you will have a harder time munching. I am going to start working on the gd quilt its only been going on for 4 years hah hah. I am about 3-4 hrs from the finish line so this weekend its a project to work on. My birthday gd is ill and even if she is feeling better right now if the hubby caught an achy bug it wouldn't be so good so we will push that til after the M weekend of camping next week.
What is going on with our work life Judy how come we are both having office issues? I just got ours on a good path and we lose someone and maybe two another girl applied for something last week. And some people are complaining to our current director about the supervisor. I don't get it yah know it could be so much worse and we are all in this together is what I figure we get paid do your job get the ck go home its not science its facts!!!
Elyn I lost a tire to my wagon but it only rolled off a bit so I am going to find it put it back on my wagon and take off rolling I will meet you down the road and we will travel together on our road! Have a great day everyone and I am going to go in bite the bullet finish some paper work and try to have a great day and not get caught up in the office BS.
No sweets today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yep, elyn, my wagon is long gone too. A conference dropped me off the wagon and a pitiful weekend made me walk in the opposite direction. I find it VERY hard to get on track once the wagon has left the building. But I will keep trying every day.

My afternoon off was delightful!!!!! DS2 and I spent a little time together. Didn't talk about the Mother's Day stuff but just about general things. It was pleasant enough. Like usual, it'll just get pushed under the carpet. But, get this, he told me he has all kinds of ideas for presents for his dad for father's day. Hmm. I swear he doesn't think. Let's rub salt in the wound. I just considered the source and smiled at him. Anyway, the day. I bought two bite cupcakes (tiny little buggars) and gave Kody 3. The first before I let the other doggies in, the 2nd and third after singing happy b-day and a lit candle. It was cute. Then I vacuumed the pool and cleaned the deck. It was a great day and the pool was up to 70 degrees. Soon I'll be splashing and I'm guessing Kai will jump in as she's jumped in the shower with me and LOVES jumping into the water bowl.

Carol, good luck working on the quilt. I'm a procrastinator when it comes to projects that have sat around too long. I never get back to them. I hope GD feels better.

Judy, work stinks. That's all there's too it. I'm guessing the self doubt about your job is remnants of the pink slip. It's a hard thing to do and there's been change in your org from the beginning of the year. Not to mention you're working too much. We need to work like the French. Maybe we should move to France where they lean more on the balance of personal life.

food - horrendous. exercise - zippo so far today. I did get up but I did bills and played with the doggies.
Marie